RE: Emotions and The Submissive

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RE: Emotions and The Submissive - 4/3/2006 11:03:10 AM

RavenMuse

Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth
if she is not willing to do the work necessary on her part to BE a trusting person, it won't matter...for trust to work, it has to be a two way street.

Absolutely. Hence my comment above about sometimes having to show them where the ledge is, be ready to catch them IF they choose to jump... but leave that choise upto them. When the time is right to do so then you need to know if they are willing to put the effort in also, "jump or walk away". If they jump, you catch them and have something to work with, something to build on..... If they don't then if you have picked the right hurdle, they would probably have never put the effort in to overcome the problem anyhow.

It isn't the end of the problem by any means, but it is a good beginning and at least you have some indication that they are indeed willing to put in the effort. You can't help someone who isn't willing to help themselves and if that is the real state of affairs then t'is better to know early rather than waste months or even years fighting an unwinnable battle.

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This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

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Post #: 21

RE: Emotions and The Submissive - 4/3/2006 11:21:02 AM

cariad

Posts: 943
Joined: 9/25/2004
From: Calgary, Alberta
Status: offline

wow, going through the boards today girl has come across so many topics she knows all too well, and this is yet another topic she knows far too well sadly.

girl was hurt many a time, she put up the biggest brick, steel and more bricks wall any one slave could put up, but then along came the biggest sweetest kindest Dom girl could ever ask for.

over time and with much communication in the start of O/our relationship and Him not running when she told Him of her past problems and the problems she was facing when W/we met she slowly learned to trust Him.

when He would say, "My cariad tonight is not a good night to talk, but I do promise to talk with you tomorrow, and know this My cariad I do love you," girl thought to herself yeah right He is not going to talk to her tomorrow, but then tomorrow would come and He would prove her wrong.

over time He gained girls full trust and the relationship built from there until the day communication on His part died, giving her no choice but to seek release.

now girl once again found herself not trusting anyone until she spoke with a Dominant Friend who offered to be her Protector and He has shown she can trust Him time and time again, but she is still not sure she can trust that the lines of communication will always be there with her new Sir. it scares her because she so wants to trust Him and He has not given a reason to "Not trust" Him, in fact He is doing the opposite.

the other night girl was very upset because she needed badly to speak with Him, but He promised to come back and talk with her via the phone and im.....True to His word, He came back home, called girl and then W/we spoke on the computer for a bit until girl was about to fall asleep on Him.

girl had a hard time trusting Sir and now has seen that she has no reason to not trust Him, so she is trusting Him until such time as He gives her a reason not to.

hope this helped and please let U/us know what happens.

Blessed Be

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The Path To Being A Good slave Takes Hard Work, A Willingness To Learn, Ability To Take Criticism and the Ability To Take Punishments Well. i Am Still Learning So Please Be Patient With me, As i Walk the Path to Being A good slave. SLRN: 742 958 000

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RE: Emotions and The Submissive - 4/3/2006 11:56:00 AM

slavejali

Posts: 2918
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I'm going with the consistancy thing too, say what you mean, and mean what you say, do what you say you are going to do and be what you say you are...a Master.

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Post #: 23