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RE: The Soldier. - 3/29/2010 3:28:57 PM

takemeforyourown

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quote:

I had a slave named tamara whom I had a reoccurring “comfort dream” about. We were in the jungle, in full BDU & gear. She walked point with me at my side. I covered the left, she covered the right. The comfort part was that I could count on her to cover her side because she really was a good soldier (and a good shot). It was the best feeling making progress through the jungle, knowing we we making our objectives and that I could count on her to do her part. I miss her. RIP

This really touched me, thank you.

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RE: The Soldier. - 3/29/2010 7:17:00 PM

Smutmonger

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Very well said Treasure. It's the team idea that I really like-both working for the relationship. I'd hate to feel I was being used as a crutch for someone weaker than I am-nor do I require the same.

I've dated subs like that in the past-and I am just not fuax father material-annoys me no end to be put in that position.

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RE: The Soldier. - 3/30/2010 2:04:03 AM

ResidentSadist

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quote:

ORIGINAL: takemeforyourown

quote:

I had a slave named tamara whom I had a reoccurring “comfort dream” about. We were in the jungle, in full BDU & gear. She walked point with me at my side. I covered the left, she covered the right. The comfort part was that I could count on her to cover her side because she really was a good soldier (and a good shot). It was the best feeling making progress through the jungle, knowing we we making our objectives and that I could count on her to do her part. I miss her. RIP

This really touched me, thank you.

It was a pleasure "touching you". You're very welcome.

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RE: The Soldier. - 3/30/2010 2:24:50 PM

DesFIP

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quote:

ORIGINAL: TreasureKY

I can't say I agree with you Des... though I do understand where you are coming from. Is Firm my equal in every skill that I have? No. And I am not his equal, either.

I am not a superwoman, yet I excel in each of the areas you've mentioned. You ask why I should want to yield to him? I can only say it is because it works for us... that is how we want it. We know that even the best team requires someone to be in the lead.

Thing is, I am every bit as capable of leading as Firm is. However, what I have that he does not, is a desire to follow. We are a partnership... each contributing our skills to the team. It isn't a competition between us.

I excel in areas he doesn't as well. Our different skills contribute to the health of the relationship. My main point was not the ability to swing a hammer per se, but the fact that you can't expect everything out of one person. We simply don't have enough hours in the day to do it all. So if I'm working on a complicated dinner, I can't also be outside powerwashing the siding. You have to pick and choose what to do with your time. But the op did not seem to consider that, it presented a picture of someone who could do it all in one day. And that's just unrealistic.

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RE: The Soldier. - 3/30/2010 2:26:53 PM

Smutmonger

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No Des. You just got your panties in a twist and decided to make an unfounded judgement.

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

quote:

ORIGINAL: TreasureKY

I can't say I agree with you Des... though I do understand where you are coming from. Is Firm my equal in every skill that I have? No. And I am not his equal, either.

I am not a superwoman, yet I excel in each of the areas you've mentioned. You ask why I should want to yield to him? I can only say it is because it works for us... that is how we want it. We know that even the best team requires someone to be in the lead.

Thing is, I am every bit as capable of leading as Firm is. However, what I have that he does not, is a desire to follow. We are a partnership... each contributing our skills to the team. It isn't a competition between us.

I excel in areas he doesn't as well. Our different skills contribute to the health of the relationship. My main point was not the ability to swing a hammer per se, but the fact that you can't expect everything out of one person. We simply don't have enough hours in the day to do it all. So if I'm working on a complicated dinner, I can't also be outside powerwashing the siding. You have to pick and choose what to do with your time. But the op did not seem to consider that, it presented a picture of someone who could do it all in one day. And that's just unrealistic.

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RE: The Soldier. - 3/31/2010 2:31:24 PM

ExSteelAgain

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It kind of reminds me of Che and Tania.

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RE: The Soldier. - 3/31/2010 2:40:10 PM

Jeffff

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Che was a megalomaniacal psychopath.

ONE cool picture and he is a hero of the revolution

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RE: The Soldier. - 3/31/2010 2:40:15 PM

Smutmonger

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I really hate the vision of submissives as somehow inferior beings. Hooking up with "untermensch" not automatically grant the other partner superior status. The exact opposite,in fact.

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RE: The Soldier. - 4/1/2010 10:26:32 AM

ExSteelAgain

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

Che was a megalomaniacal psychopath.

ONE cool picture and he is a hero of the revolution

Jeff, I believe the Cuban Revolution got lost somewhere along the road, but Che was a significant player and character. He was a young doctor who met the Castro brothers before the revolution in Mexico City. He played a significant part in the revolution at all levels and had important positions in the government. After the victory he seemed bored, although he was the Minister of Finance, and tried to lead revolutions in African and Latin America. Do you know about the Motorcycle Diaries? It could be that the Soviets were instrumental in his demise since he had come to favor Mao.

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RE: The Soldier. - 4/2/2010 12:06:38 AM

graceadieu

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Yes, exactly that. Not in every area but in the ones that matter.

If he doesn't make better decisions than I do, then why should I trust him with decision making? I trust a doctor over a nurse because their education is superior. A structural engineer over an architect to make sure the house is built correctly. I've known too many architects who design stuff without any thought of how winter will affect it.

He has to be better at decision making than I am, do deeper research than I do. If he's worse than I am, I wouldn't let him make a decision because I'd have to pick up the pieces. And if his decision making is par with mine, then every decision would be joint.

If you submit to someone who isn't capable of the responsibility, do expect to be run into debt, forced into situations that cause emotional damage, etc.

I think it is key to be with someone who makes responsible decisions (heck, that's true regardless of role or power dynamic), but I don't know about better decisions or deeper research. But perhaps that depends on the dynamic.... Personally, I don't think my dominant makes better decisions than me, but I'm not doing this 24/7 thing with him because I can't make good decisions, I do it because I love him and want to serve him.

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RE: The Soldier. - 4/21/2010 2:09:33 PM

SlaveSubtoserve

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

quote:

If he isn't her superior in anything, he doesn't merit her submission.

He has to be superior to her to merit her submission?

I'm not sure if my deduction of your statement was exact, which is why I'm asking the question.

- LA

Yes, exactly that. Not in every area but in the ones that matter.

If he doesn't make better decisions than I do, then why should I trust him with decision making? I trust a doctor over a nurse because their education is superior. A structural engineer over an architect to make sure the house is built correctly. I've known too many architects who design stuff without any thought of how winter will affect it.

He has to be better at decision making than I am, do deeper research than I do. If he's worse than I am, I wouldn't let him make a decision because I'd have to pick up the pieces. And if his decision making is par with mine, then every decision would be joint.

If you submit to someone who isn't capable of the responsibility, do expect to be run into debt, forced into situations that cause emotional damage, etc.

Thank you for clarifying that. I understand where you are coming from, but I have a very different perspective. If I'm in charge in my relationships, it's because I'm the one who is most dominant and who is more naturally the leader of the two. I'm also likely the sadist and he the masochist.

But in no way, shape or form do I ever consider myself to be superior to a man I'm with.

- LA

quote:

Thank you for clarifying that. I understand where you are coming from, but I have a very different perspective. If I'm in charge in my relationships, it's because I'm the one who is most dominant and who is more naturally the leader of the two. I'm also likely the sadist and he the masochist.

But in no way, shape or form do I ever consider myself to be superior to a man I'm with.
- LA

Great way L.A. to delineate how D/s can/needs (?) to be realistically orchestrated between two highly/or somewhat similarly talented people.
Relative superiority in various talents/skills, etc. is/becomes exogenous, as it should, in such relationships.

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RE: The Soldier. - 4/21/2010 3:55:31 PM

WinsomeDefiance

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Smutmonger

The soldier has intelligence-ability to follow orders, discipline, strength, loyalty. The soldier understands the importance of completing the mission-even though missions may not always come to expected conclusions. The soldier trains to accomplish these.

Not to be terribly contentious, but....

An administrative assistant has intelligence - ability to follow orders, discipline, strength, loyalty. The administrative assistant uderstands the importance of completing the mission (completing on task) - even though missions may not always come to expected conclusions. The administrative trains to accomplish this.

Truthfully, the administrative assistant usually knows more dirt about her employer than just about anyone else in the employers life. The administrative assistant hears all, sees all, and knows to be discrete. Usually, the administrative assistant is the first line of defense, running interference for the employer even when the employer isn't even aware interference is needed. A good administrative assistant, kicks ass and takes names, when necessary.

Just saying.

That said...there are those who can be pta admins AND - gardners, plumbers, contruction workers, hunters, mechanics, farmers etc. and still manage to rock your world as your slut - be it night or day. Again, just saying

< Message edited by WinsomeDefiance -- 4/21/2010 3:57:31 PM >

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RE: The Soldier. - 4/21/2010 5:36:46 PM

MsMillgrove

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In the d/s dynamic there is one area where parity needs to be achieved: commitment to the relationship. One who craves a full-time 24/7 position cannot pair with another who has multiple responsiblities and therefore cannot commit the same level of energy or time. Beyond that eveness in commitment, every d/s realtionship has unequal partners. Each brings a different set of skills, talents, intelligence, knowledge, and experience. Equality never exists--between two people.

I like the leathermen's use of the word "authority", rather than a "gift of submission". The sub/slave recognizes and surrenders to the authority of the master/dom.
A dom leads, a sub follows. That assumes an inequality in leadership skill. A serious d/s relationship, not a play partner match or "bedroom only", depends on the leadership ability of the dom. If the dom is not superior to the sub in leadership, why is the sub going to surrender to the dom's authority? What value is there is surrendering to your dom's authority if he or she cannot make decisions that are solid, does not have wisdom to guide?

When a master leads his sub for many years, eventually, if he's chosen strong-minded, good sub, chances are that sub will have grown so much that he or she has the skills to become an excellent dom, too. Sometimes the master permits the sub pets of her own or allows a position of alpha slave in a family, when that point is reached.

In my own family, my first girl did very well as a domme, but she eventually tired of it because of the responsibility, she preferred to spend her time with me, but we never became equals--because she had a slave heart--her joy was in surrender and service. And because I continued to exert my authority with her, always pushing her to grow and learn.

I don't think it matters which frame you use--soldier/commander, boss-assistant, pres and vice pres.. when it comes down to it. One leads - the other follows.

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RE: The Soldier. - 4/27/2010 8:10:56 AM

SlaveSubtoserve

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Re the leadership skill issue you mention above- well yes in many relationships it seems that the D has superior leadership skills as you mention that to be the case in your relationship apparently, but in many others the s has quite significant leader skills out in vanilla land, possibly even superior to the D's depending (think of all the cases of very successful men who sub to their stay at home wives, etc,), but vanilla land does not matter, as the leadership dynamic applies only to their individual relationship so ie Churchill for all we know was sub to his wife and it wouldn't matter if she had trouble leading a girl scout troop outside of their relationship anyways.....

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RE: The Soldier. - 4/27/2010 11:28:26 AM

crazyml

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quote:

ORIGINAL: allthatjaz

I think I know what your saying. You want a girl that can swing a hammer and build that house with you and not a girl that's going to stand in the garden in a pretty dress and go 'oh my'? that this girl is happy to be lead by you but who is not a wuss when it comes to getting her hands dirty?
Nothing to do with uniforms and medals but all to do with ability.

I'm looking for both... a girl who is happy swinging a hammer, hiking up hills, digging the garden and equally content in a pretty dress going "oh my!".

To the OP - I see what you're getting at with the Soldier analogy, but it doesn't quite work for me personally. WyldHrt's analogy is closer but still not quite (And I suspect that she'd look plenty cute in cammies)...

quote:

ORIGINAL: WyldHrt

I actually prefer the analogy of Captain and Second in Command, but that might just be because I look cuter in a blue jumpsuit than I do in cammies

Not sure about "construction worker" either. Or that it implies more independence, or at least that's what I infer.

quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy

This seems more like "construction worker" than soldier; I like it that A WHOLE LOT! It infers more independence.

I'm closes to ResidentSadist's "second in command" - But I think the closest I can get in my own words is "(junior) Partner in Crime"

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RE: The Soldier. - 4/27/2010 1:16:39 PM

Apocalypso

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It sounds as if you're looking at "the soldier" as pop culture archeytype, as opposed to as a literal analogy. In which case, it's all good. But, at the end of the day, it matters what that specifically means to you and anybody you get with, not anyone else. And, as Focus said, that's very much something to talk about in the "getting to know you" phase. It's definitely something you can work to and mould to your own purposes, but it's not something that doesn't need explanation.

You could possibly look at it more as well, looking at different variations of that particular archetype. The concept of the "knight" seems to me to come close to some of what you describe, but that may or may not have resonance for you.

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RE: The Soldier. - 4/27/2010 4:03:18 PM

DarlingSavage

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quote:

It could be that the Soviets were instrumental in his demise since he had come to favor Mao.

I'm pretty sure he was assassinated by US gov't. because his work interfered with US business/ imperialism.

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RE: The Soldier. - 4/27/2010 4:05:51 PM

Smutmonger

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It's more likely that Stalin had happen what he most feared and acted upon so often with all of his purges-one of his own poisoning him. The fact that he was left to die during the fifteen or so minutes after his last drink by his own STAFF tends to confirm this suspicion.

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RE: The Soldier. - 4/28/2010 1:05:46 PM

SailingBum

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Hell Im all for it equal rights equal pay. However I don't see em on the front line in a rifle platoon. What's wrong with this picture???

BadOne

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RE: The Soldier. - 4/29/2010 10:00:46 PM

AlexandraLynch

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I only find people who are competent and capable and able to manage things well attractive. Helpless decorativeness bores and exasperates me, male or female. Indeed, to me someone capable and competent is more attractive when they submit, because they are giving me someone I can tell, "Make this happen" and they can, in fact, make it happen, without my having to micromanage it. My husband and I are both dominant, and we trade off being the other person's copilot, with our subs as subordinates who make it happen. It works for us.

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