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RE: i cannot understand this about submissives - 4/2/2006 7:20:53 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		same reason as you ain't found nobody; slick.........
seems like a lottta hinky kinksters her but nothing that will actually take the time to blow a dress up ............



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Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to SpaceForMore)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: i cannot understand this about submissives - 4/2/2006 7:33:47 PM   
PlayfulOne


Posts: 1047
Status: offline 		Ok owned, "smiles"  you shamed me into giving an actual answer.  though I actually do wonder about the number of post cnady has placed here bemoaning the shortage of any "real" doms she hasn't explored anything with these "wonderful" men.

People are flaky, often they do things for no apparent reason, sometimes there are those that feel it is easier to just disapear than simply say they are not interested.  BUT, when this happens over a period of time and is an ongoing problem one must look inside.  There has to be a reason why this happens over again with these men.  they need to look at the women they are choosing, is there a pattern that is laeading them to a "questionable" type?  Is there something they are doing that is influencing  the reaction of these women?  Just because they are wonderful men doesn't mean they are right for the women they have been speaking with, if it were that easy wouldn't you have just taken with one of them?

There are many reasons why things do not progress between two people.  Since you are friends with these men you are placing all of the responsibility on the submissives/slaves when the answer probably lies in something that is happening on both sides.

K

(in reply to SpaceForMore)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: i cannot understand this about submissives - 4/2/2006 7:34:51 PM   
cutiethebomb


Posts: 15
Joined: 3/12/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kyraofMists

**edited to add - welcome to the boards, cutiethebomb 


Thank you!! thus far along my two-week old CM experience, the boards are my favorite aspect. :)

(in reply to kyraofMists)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: i cannot understand this about submissives - 4/2/2006 7:48:54 PM   
candystripper


Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline 		Playone makes a valid point, but i know these Men are making an effort to avoid unstable people.  For example, i know of Their introspection and Their search modalities and the many wonderful qualitiies They have.  And the problem is not online alone. 
 
However, i cannot help wondering how many women are sincere about submisssion and slavery or playing a fantasy role until the rubber hits the road.  My question is why a submissive woman would have passed these Men up; i know They have so much to offer.
 
candystripper

< Message edited by candystripper -- 4/2/2006 7:52:19 PM >

(in reply to cutiethebomb)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: i cannot understand this about submissives - 4/2/2006 7:52:44 PM   
Angeni


Posts: 88
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline 		Greetings :)
 
One must remember that what you find pleasing, may not be pleasing to another. Just my humble opinion based on the facts given .

(in reply to candystripper)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: i cannot understand this about submissives - 4/2/2006 7:59:28 PM   
Vancouver_cinful


Posts: 1911
Joined: 2/3/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subinside

If they are so wonderful.. please feel free to pass on my nic to them.  i myself have found it very difficult to find a Dominant/Master who doesn't bolt when things get a bit difficult.


I agree. I have had quite a few local dominants appear to be eager to meet me over the years. But when it comes down to the actual business of meeting they disappear off the face of the earth. Frustrating.

Cin

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Cin

quote:


My Karma Account is huge, but I just can't seem to make a withdrawal!!

http://cinful.wordpress.com

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Profile   Post #: 26
RE: i cannot understand this about submissives - 4/2/2006 7:59:37 PM   
PlayfulOne


Posts: 1047
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper

Playone makes a valid point, but i know these Men are making an effort to avoid unstable people.  For example, i know of Their introspection and Their search modalities and the many wonderful qualitiies They have.  And the problem is not online alone. 
 
However, i cannot help wondering how many women are sincere about submisssion and slavery or playing a fantasy role until the rubber hits the road.  My question is why a submissive woman would have passed these Men up; i know They have so much to offer.
 
candystripper


Just because they are making an effort, does not mean they are making the "right" effort and choices.  If the same pattern keeps happening it can not all be the problem of the submissives. 

You keep repeating how wonderful they are,  Why are you not interested in them, or if you are why are they not looking at you?  I suspect if you answer that question you will find many of the reasons these submissives have passed them by.  My liuttle one will tell you I am the most wonderful Dom walking the earth, and I am for her, that doesn't mean I am wonderful and perfect for you.  There lies the difference sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.

K

(in reply to candystripper)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: i cannot understand this about submissives - 4/2/2006 8:05:49 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

However, i cannot help wondering how many women are sincere about submisssion and slavery or playing a fantasy role until the rubber hits the road.


I'm going to suggest that these "wonderful Doms" are probably showing Candy a different side than they are showing the potential sub/slave during courtship.  I can think of various reasons why a girl might cut and run.  Some include a Dom who insists on ritual before the girl is ready, a Dom who's really a top and doesn't understand what domination is, a Dom who isn't good at follow-through (deliverables).  Yes, there are some flaky girls out there, but there are just as many flaky guys.

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“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
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(in reply to PlayfulOne)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: i cannot understand this about submissives - 4/2/2006 8:06:32 PM   
candystripper


Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline 		i think perhaps the posters miss the point of the Op; these Men reach a decision that these women are compatible after a reasonable time and arrange to meet, and then...poof....the women disappear.  If women have cold feet at the last minute, and will not speak to the Man, then what are They to do?  How does One determine a person is really sincere and will follow through?
 
candystripper

(in reply to Angeni)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: i cannot understand this about submissives - 4/2/2006 8:10:51 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		I think it is pretty normal both ways, guys; either we all start fucking and sucking or we don't. Is a larger calling about?

Innocently,
Ron 

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to candystripper)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: i cannot understand this about submissives - 4/2/2006 8:16:46 PM   
PlayfulOne


Posts: 1047
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper

i think perhaps the posters miss the point of the Op; these Men reach a decision that these women are compatible after a reasonable time and arrange to meet, and then...poof....the women disappear.  If women have cold feet at the last minute, and will not speak to the Man, then what are They to do?  How does One determine a person is really sincere and will follow through?
 
candystripper


Your missing the point.  If this is a repeated pattern then there must be something in the women they are choosing, or there is something they are saying in  setting up the meeting. 

One does have to wonder about these "wonderful" doms that you won't answer the wuestion of why you have no interest in them or they have none in you. 

Since this keeps happening on a repeated basis either someone else needs to start choosing who they meet or they need a dom makeover.

K

(in reply to candystripper)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: i cannot understand this about submissives - 4/2/2006 8:18:52 PM   
esina


Posts: 21
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper

i think perhaps the posters miss the point of the Op; these Men reach a decision that these women are compatible after a reasonable time and arrange to meet, and then...poof....the women disappear.  If women have cold feet at the last minute, and will not speak to the Man, then what are They to do?  How does One determine a person is really sincere and will follow through?
 
candystripper


Well imho, isnt the D/s about trust? a sub trusting a Dom, a Dom trusting a sub, a sub trusting and believing in the trust they have and give and likewise for a Dom? Is this not more the issue? Or have i misinterpreted perhaps?

esina xxx

(in reply to candystripper)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: i cannot understand this about submissives - 4/2/2006 8:26:42 PM   
truesub4u


Posts: 2949
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PlayfulOne 
My liuttle one will tell you I am the most wonderful Dom walking the earth, and I am for her, that doesn't mean I am wonderful and perfect for you. 

K


Awwwwwwwwwww man....... strike 3... guess i'm out....


_____________________________

Wisdom is knowing what to do next, Skill is knowing how to do it, and Virtue is doing it.

(in reply to PlayfulOne)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: i cannot understand this about submissives - 4/2/2006 8:43:38 PM   
PlayfulOne


Posts: 1047
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: truesub4u

quote:

ORIGINAL: PlayfulOne 
My liuttle one will tell you I am the most wonderful Dom walking the earth, and I am for her, that doesn't mean I am wonderful and perfect for you. 

K


Awwwwwwwwwww man....... strike 3... guess i'm out....



I'm goign to be quiet before I get into trouble, Grins

K

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Profile   Post #: 34
RE: i cannot understand this about submissives - 4/2/2006 8:44:01 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

these Men reach a decision that these women are compatible after a reasonable time and arrange to meet, and then...poof....the women disappear. 

 
Life on the net. Fact is, no 'one' person can decide the compatibilty. Takes two... sometimes more.
 
quote:

 If women have cold feet at the last minute, and will not speak to the Man, then what are They to do?  How does One determine a person is really sincere and will follow through?


Two choices.. either give up on the net and start going out to real life events or keep playing the numbers game online, cross your fingers and hold your breath because the vast majority of onliners are not taking things to real life.  

Celeste


_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to candystripper)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: i cannot understand this about submissives - 4/2/2006 9:05:22 PM   
Sensualips


Posts: 1013
Joined: 10/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

i have known these Men well enough to know any woman who honored to be Theirs. 

 
Not clear on this sentence but I think you mean "many" women would be honored.  I think the answer probably the same as the answer to every post wondering why people can not meet up and connect and find what they seek.  Incompatibility, poor timing, confusion on what they want, etc. Frustrating I am sure.

(in reply to candystripper)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: i cannot understand this about submissives - 4/2/2006 9:33:56 PM   
catize


Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper
 How does One determine a person is really sincere and will follow through?
 
candystripper


The rather obvious answer is:
when they actually show up for the first meet. 

_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to candystripper)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: i cannot understand this about submissives - 4/3/2006 4:41:13 AM   
cloudboy


Posts: 7306
Joined: 12/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Padriag


Perhaps because she knows some doms as friends with whom she isn't compatible with for anything other than friendship; and as a friend, she feels a bit of concern about some of the problems they wrestle with.


Your response here is the most lucid.

AS for the main question:

Entering into a D/S relationship takes a certain amount of follow through --- steps from fantasy to reality. If I were really attracted to and had some chemistry with a DOMME but she dropped the mandatory forced bi card down on the table....ala

http://www.collarchat.com/m_302354/mpage_3/key_/tm.htm#314055

it might block me from being able to commit to her. It might frighten me off.

D/S aside, it takes a certain amount of follow through to enter into any intimate relationship. Building the trust, excitement, and comfort level to seduce another person has always been an enigmatic project for men and women.



< Message edited by cloudboy -- 4/3/2006 4:43:29 AM >

(in reply to Padriag)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: i cannot understand this about submissives - 4/3/2006 5:01:19 AM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline 		My experience is there is always at least one difficult hurdle, no one is ever absolutely compatable in all areas...... some take the chance and jump that hurdle, others back away, not trusting the Dom will catch them...... that is of course when it is someone genuine and it isn't someone playing games!


_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to candystripper)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: i cannot understand this about submissives - 4/3/2006 5:30:57 AM   
justatoy2


Posts: 163
Joined: 6/20/2005
Status: offline 		i have met many wonderful Doms in my life...but that didn't mean they were the right Doms for me. Just because someone has wonderful qualities doesn't mean there will be a chemistry. I personally have to connect with someone on an intellectual level as well as emotional. Just because they are wonderful doesn't mean they are going to match what i am.And that could be the case here. These doms you know maybe wonderful, but they just aren't meeting the person or people who match them.

(in reply to candystripper)
Profile   Post #: 40
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