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funishment - 3/31/2010 1:43:21 AM   
lally2


Posts: 2621
Joined: 4/16/2009
Status: offline 		i realise i know nothing at all about how youd encorporate funishment into a relationship.  that might sound strange but i find the concept a bit odd anyway.

does anyone enjoy this as an aspect of their relationship and how do you do it, basically.

_____________________________

So all I have to do in order to serve him, is to work out exactly how improbable he is, feed that figure into the finite improbability generator, give him a fresh cup of really hot tea ... and turn him on!
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RE: funishment - 3/31/2010 2:07:23 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline 		Funishment give me the image of Benny Hill type antics.  Slap and tickle.
We don't have a punishment and reward dynamic.  It's simply not expected for me to be a brat or make mistakes in that way.
Maybe I don't really understand the meaning behind the term 'funishment' because I keep seeing different meanings behind it.  Could you expand what you think it means?

the.dark.

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love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

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RE: funishment - 3/31/2010 4:32:49 AM   
lally2


Posts: 2621
Joined: 4/16/2009
Status: offline 		i have no idea which is why i posed the question.  you see it being mentioned and ive used the term on occasions in response to something on the boards.

from my understanding its people who enjoy the punishment theme but dont want the negativity, topping from the bottom stuff, spiral of bratting to get attention nonsense.

so, im guessing, for instance.  youre out with youre partner and youre cheeky in a fun way that you hope will earn you a spanking when you get home.  theres no malice or aggravation and it isnt done in the spirit of undermining or wearing youre partner out.  you both know what will happen and so its kinda fun and horny for them.  im guessing here, i dont know.

so it isnt punishment its funishment for both people.  if the D isnt in the mood obviously then they say so, but if the D is in the mood...........?

hm, i think ive answered my own question.  except for those who do have that in their relationship how did it come about and how did you broach the subject and how were you able to work it in without it turning into something tiresome or negative.

_____________________________

So all I have to do in order to serve him, is to work out exactly how improbable he is, feed that figure into the finite improbability generator, give him a fresh cup of really hot tea ... and turn him on!

(in reply to RCdc)
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RE: funishment - 3/31/2010 5:21:44 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline 		There was a reason I asked, because I just don't get the term.
Master and I don't have a punishment dynamic.  He just doesn't dig it.  I am either his, or I am not.  So when he gets the floggers out or makes me clean the windows naked then it's not for punishment, it's because of enjoyment.  But if I was to be cheeky at a restaurent with the expectation of being 'funished' when I get home, it just wouldn't happen.  He treats me like an adult so if I want something, like spacing, I ask for it and then he decides yay or nay, where, how and when.
But to some people, because we do it for enjoyment and pleasure, it's automatically called 'funishment'(or so I am told).  To us, it's just doing what we want because it's yummy, not funny.(That was purely unintentional there, but cool it rhymes!)

the.dark.

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RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

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RE: funishment - 3/31/2010 5:52:40 AM   
dreamerdreaming


Posts: 2839
Status: offline 		I'll refer you to my recent posts on the matter, since I have to go right now. But to generalize: when I refer to funishment, it just means when my slaveboy suffers for our pleasure. Nothing at all to do with punishment- that's the point.

We don't do reward/punishment, at all. I just torture, humiliate and objectify my slave for our mutual pleasure and fulfillment. For fun.

Does that help? 

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RE: funishment - 3/31/2010 7:00:09 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		If you look at spanking themed movies, there's usually some sort of infraction for which the spankee is punished.  I've never understood why that is necessary.  Evidently there is a mindset out there that thinks that spanking for cause is okay, but spanking just because is not.

Funishment, as I understand it, is a term for impact play for enjoyment. 


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"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

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RE: funishment - 3/31/2010 7:57:51 AM   
lally2


Posts: 2621
Joined: 4/16/2009
Status: offline 		oohhh, gotcha! - see, i had it all arse ways - ok!

steven, youre point, how true! - id never really thought about that, but it is buying into the whole 'spank me cos im naughty' mindframe

so no wonder people come on here with punishment on the brain.

so thats interesting! - are there sites for helping people find that sort of thing or is this the only place they can come to realise their fantasies - and before anyone starts to assume im after some punishment dynamic im not -

this line of thought was really triggered by a recent 'punishment' thread.

seems to me there is a clear delineation therefore between spanko's for fun - those that are up front about loving it and those that pretend they hate it.

both are valid of course

which means ive been pissing on someones toast and marmalade without reaslising its probably a kink all of its own.  arguably though it doesnt fit anywhere within Ds or Ms or am i wrong there too.

im laughing at myself for getting Funishment so wrong - you live and learn

_____________________________

So all I have to do in order to serve him, is to work out exactly how improbable he is, feed that figure into the finite improbability generator, give him a fresh cup of really hot tea ... and turn him on!

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: funishment - 3/31/2010 10:50:31 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		It's easiest done with role play. Bad schoolgirl didn't do her homework, gets a spanking. Obviously you aren't a schoolgirl and you had no homework so it shouldn't really affect your self esteem.

Or board games, or betting on a sports game. He wins the round, you get spanked. His team scores, you get spanked. That kind of stuff.

Or patently absurd stuff like 'ordering' you to buy a winning lottery ticket. Obviously it's impossible to do so which you both realize. So "bad girl, you need a spanking" and so on.


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RE: funishment - 3/31/2010 12:49:07 PM   
Smutmonger


Posts: 995
Joined: 2/17/2010
Status: offline 		It's just a way to spice up a play session.

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I didn't get into an alternative lifestyle to explore new frontiers in conformity.

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RE: funishment - 3/31/2010 2:08:51 PM   
nephandi


Posts: 4470
Joined: 9/23/2005
From: Cold and magickal Norway in a town near Bergen!
Status: offline 		Greetings

I would never mix punishment with fun. I have once with a Dom I played with and for me it lost all meaning. However spanking and whipping sessions and the like, yes please, but they would be called play and not punishment. However a roleplay where you have the naughty schoolgirl and the stern teacher, that sort of situation I have never tried but I think I would enjoy it.

I wish you well


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Whatever you think you can do or believe you can do, begin it. Action has magic, grace and power in it.--Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Futon torpedoes, make love not war!--Aswad


(in reply to lally2)
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RE: funishment - 3/31/2010 5:13:29 PM   
catize


Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline 		I define it as 'pain play'. He enjoys using impact toys on me and I enjoy the sensation of impact toys used on me.

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"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to lally2)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: funishment - 3/31/2010 9:06:44 PM   
dreamerdreaming


Posts: 2839
Status: offline 		What I was trying to say earlier was that I see funishment as nothing whatever to do with any kind of "play punishment" scenario at all. Nothing at all to do with punishment- whether real, or trumped up.


And I don't even narrow it down to "pain play" as catize does. To me, its just a catchall word denoting any kind of suffering, humiliation, objectification, torture, etc. that I deliver my slaveboy into for our mutual pleasure.
 
It can, of course involve a scenario where my slaveboy is given a task or placed in a position where "failure" is only a matter of time.... A situation in which he cannot possibly be obedient, or not for long.... To be followed by the yummy "funishment". But this only works for us if we both know that he is purposely being brought to the eventual "failure" in order to suffer during the impossible task, and then suffer again with the "funishment". So that he knows beforehand that there is no real failure there. So he won't feel bad at all, but only good and gooey-sweet inside.

But to me, that "setup for failure" kind of funishment is a mere a side dish, in the grand smörgåsbord of possibilities.

Apparently some of us here do think of funishment as a setup for failure game or a play punishment, and nothing more. Not I.

If you said that the ranch dressing was the entire smorgasbord, I'd say I don't see it that way at all, see?   I'd say that it was just a small part of the dinner offerings. Just a condiment. And that the salad bar need not include any ranch dressing at all....  (Unless we want it to.) 


To reiterate: I use the term "funishment" as a catchall expression, to refer to any kind of suffering, obectification, torture, humiliation, etc. that my slaveboy and I enjoy putting him through for our mutual white-hot, exquisite pleasure and fulfillment.
 
I don't ever need a reason trumped up, to have him suffer or to see him objectified and humiliated for our pleasure. That is the reason. Our pleasure and fulfillment. Our happiness and enjoyment of his complete surrender to me. YUM.

_____________________________

Download SLAVE LOVER. Explicit BDSM porn, with a plot! A love story, on a FemDom planet! http://www.amazon.com/Slave-Lover-Chronicles-Book-ebook/dp/B0031ERBLI/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1261973416&sr=1

(in reply to catize)
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RE: funishment - 3/31/2010 11:31:36 PM   
graceadieu


Posts: 1518
Joined: 3/20/2008
From: Maryland
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lally2

from my understanding its people who enjoy the punishment theme but dont want the negativity, topping from the bottom stuff, spiral of bratting to get attention nonsense.

so, im guessing, for instance.  youre out with youre partner and youre cheeky in a fun way that you hope will earn you a spanking when you get home.  theres no malice or aggravation and it isnt done in the spirit of undermining or wearing youre partner out.  you both know what will happen and so its kinda fun and horny for them.  im guessing here, i dont know.

hm, i think ive answered my own question. except for those who do have that in their relationship how did it come about and how did you broach the subject and how were you able to work it in without it turning into something tiresome or negative.


That's pretty much how it works for us! Though he's actually usually the one that instigates it, telling me I've been a naughty girl and need to be punished for my lip etc.

Funishment's a kink of my domiant, and he broached it by just doing it. That actually really threw me the first time, so I'd recommend people talk about it before they start doing that kind of play. But it's become a semi-regular part of our play since then. I can read him well enough that I know whether I've actually displeased him and when he's just messing with me (and he wouldn't use play as punishment anyway), so it's not a negative thing for us at all.

(in reply to lally2)
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RE: funishment - 3/31/2010 11:33:06 PM   
graceadieu


Posts: 1518
Joined: 3/20/2008
From: Maryland
Status: offline 		Oops, posted that twice....

< Message edited by graceadieu -- 3/31/2010 11:34:09 PM >

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RE: funishment - 4/1/2010 7:20:11 AM   
catize


Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline
I believe the word was originally intended to delineate the difference between what LuckyAlbatross called 'fluffy sadists' (those who only give pain to those who consent to it) and 'real sadists' (those who meet the criteria for the actual definition of sadism.)

_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to dreamerdreaming)
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RE: funishment - 4/1/2010 7:32:50 AM   
Andalusite


Posts: 2492
Joined: 1/25/2009
Status: offline 		I haven't used that term in my own relationships, but I've mostly seen it in scenes where the submissive is being consensually bratty and getting "punished," with or without any explicit role-play props like a school-girl skirt. I suppose it could also be used for the games/scoring type as well.

(in reply to lally2)
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RE: funishment - 4/1/2010 11:33:28 AM   
lally2


Posts: 2621
Joined: 4/16/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: catize


I believe the word was originally intended to delineate the difference between what LuckyAlbatross called 'fluffy sadists' (those who only give pain to those who consent to it) and 'real sadists' (those who meet the criteria for the actual definition of sadism.)


oh right - so in a way her term is morphing a bit in terms of peoples perception.  so what was a delineation between fluffy sadists and actual sadists is now begining to take on a broader meaning.  i do think its a nicer term than 'bratting' or 'samming' though, even if it wasnt reallly meant to involve the subs at all

amazing how words evolve

_____________________________

So all I have to do in order to serve him, is to work out exactly how improbable he is, feed that figure into the finite improbability generator, give him a fresh cup of really hot tea ... and turn him on!

(in reply to catize)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: funishment - 4/1/2010 1:47:02 PM   
graceadieu


Posts: 1518
Joined: 3/20/2008
From: Maryland
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: catize


I believe the word was originally intended to delineate the difference between what LuckyAlbatross called 'fluffy sadists' (those who only give pain to those who consent to it) and 'real sadists' (those who meet the criteria for the actual definition of sadism.)


I've always heard it used to refer to scenes involving pretend punishment as a play scenario. I don't know that the actual sadistic-ness of the Dom/Master/top or rebelliousness of the sub/slave/bottom is really relevant to that.

(in reply to catize)
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RE: funishment - 4/1/2010 2:17:05 PM   
catize


Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: graceadieu

quote:

ORIGINAL: catize


I believe the word was originally intended to delineate the difference between what LuckyAlbatross called 'fluffy sadists' (those who only give pain to those who consent to it) and 'real sadists' (those who meet the criteria for the actual definition of sadism.)


I've always heard it used to refer to scenes involving pretend punishment as a play scenario. I don't know that the actual sadistic-ness of the Dom/Master/top or rebelliousness of the sub/slave/bottom is really relevant to that.

It is quite possible that I'm wrong. It happens occasionally!

_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

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RE: funishment - 4/1/2010 6:57:03 PM   
Zechriel


Posts: 308
Joined: 11/19/2007
Status: offline 		Good evening!
  Daddy and I do not do funishment. It completely messes with my head and I do not like it nor understand it. If he wants something I do not or does not like, then he decides whether or not to do it-period. I do not need to act bratty or unladylike or pouty. If I do then I have actual punishments that I hate. Like washing the bathtub or wearing jeans for a week (no dresses or skirts). Hope that helps, good luck!
Love,
Zechriel


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Sir HighlanderME's little z

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