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RE: Generational differences. - 3/31/2010 2:54:37 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Smutmonger

Female tops hardly have to worry about competition-with the huge oversupply of male subs out there. FINDING an actual male sub-rather than "bottom" seems the real issue with them.

Not all of us, Hon. 

Now, just going to the issue of being a Top (in My opinion, that's different than being a Dominant) I agree with you.  That is exactly why I stated that you can't blame the problem on age or different generations alone.  Gender plays a huge role.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Smutmonger)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Generational differences. - 3/31/2010 2:54:55 PM   
Smutmonger


Posts: 995
Joined: 2/17/2010
Status: offline 		It's more or less the same from the Male Dom point of view.

I think they just settle more to get thier dicks wet-and hope the girl can be brought around over time.

_____________________________

I didn't get into an alternative lifestyle to explore new frontiers in conformity.

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Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Generational differences. - 3/31/2010 2:56:38 PM   
Smutmonger


Posts: 995
Joined: 2/17/2010
Status: offline 		And then add in age-and the general competitiveness of males for females in general. The good old boys club is pervasive.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: Smutmonger

Female tops hardly have to worry about competition-with the huge oversupply of male subs out there. FINDING an actual male sub-rather than "bottom" seems the real issue with them.

Not all of us, Hon. 

Now, just going to the issue of being a Top (in My opinion, that's different than being a Dominant) I agree with you.  That is exactly why I stated that you can't blame the problem on age or different generations alone.  Gender plays a huge role.



_____________________________

I didn't get into an alternative lifestyle to explore new frontiers in conformity.

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Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Generational differences. - 3/31/2010 2:58:06 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Smutmonger

It's more or less the same from the Male Dom point of view.

I think they just settle more to get thier dicks wet-and hope the girl can be brought around over time.


Sob... sob... I don't have a dick... But darn, if I did, I wouldn't count on it being worth someone changing what they want in life. lol I never met one that made me want to change. Although... some pussies, I hear are worth it. Anyone buying that one can email me right here at CM!


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No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


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Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Generational differences. - 3/31/2010 2:59:47 PM   
Smutmonger


Posts: 995
Joined: 2/17/2010
Status: offline 		This is why I gave up on the entire "molding" concept.

If I ever manage to transmute dogshit into gold-I'll let you know.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

quote:

ORIGINAL: Smutmonger

It's more or less the same from the Male Dom point of view.

I think they just settle more to get thier dicks wet-and hope the girl can be brought around over time.


Sob... sob... I don't have a dick... But darn, if I did, I wouldn't count on it being worth someone changing what they want in life. lol I never met one that made me want to change. Although... some pussies, I hear are worth it. Anyone buying that one can email me right here at CM!



_____________________________

I didn't get into an alternative lifestyle to explore new frontiers in conformity.

(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Generational differences. - 3/31/2010 3:03:47 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Smutmonger

This is why I gave up on the entire "molding" concept.

If I ever manage to transmute dogshit into gold-I'll let you know.


You ever manage that, I will buy a dog.


_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


(in reply to Smutmonger)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Generational differences. - 3/31/2010 3:04:46 PM   
Smutmonger


Posts: 995
Joined: 2/17/2010
Status: offline 		A Saint Bernard or three?

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

quote:

ORIGINAL: Smutmonger

This is why I gave up on the entire "molding" concept.

If I ever manage to transmute dogshit into gold-I'll let you know.


You ever manage that, I will buy a dog.



_____________________________

I didn't get into an alternative lifestyle to explore new frontiers in conformity.

(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Generational differences. - 3/31/2010 3:07:02 PM   
jbcurious


Posts: 717
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline 		I've read the threads you're talking about and I think the problem is that they're not seeking a particular piece of information but are asking how to be a Dom. How do you possibly teach or advise on such a general question?

I also think that you either are or aren't Dominant as a person... which can't be taught.

While my parents aren't into BDSM, I did grow up in a very traditional household and my father is a perfect example of a Dominant man.

He's only 5' 7" with a lean frame, he rarely raises his voice and I have never seen him be abusive, violent or physical to anyone... but my 6'4" highschool bf made sure he had me home by curfew because he "didn't want to cross" my father. All my life I've seen people defer to him... not because he's a bully or agressive but because he is Dominant.

If these young men flexing their wings as Dom's were to ask specific questions... I think they may be met with more constructive answers. I don't really think it's about age.

(in reply to Smutmonger)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Generational differences. - 3/31/2010 3:09:17 PM   
Smutmonger


Posts: 995
Joined: 2/17/2010
Status: offline 		But why not ask them to clarify-rather than being a condescending  asshat, and calling them immature for asking?

Is this not just showing your own emotional immaturity?

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I didn't get into an alternative lifestyle to explore new frontiers in conformity.

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Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Generational differences. - 3/31/2010 3:22:06 PM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Smutmonger

But why not ask them to clarify-rather than being a condescending  asshat, and calling them immature for asking?

Is this not just showing your own emotional immaturity?


Because they aren't paying me! How much time do YOU have that you can devote time to handholding of idiots, submissive OR dominant?

When people ask really open, honest soul searching questions, the kind that come from the heart, I open up like a clam and share rather deeply, hell I have sent my number to more than a few CM people to use if they need to talk. However, someone asking "make me a better dom" isn't going to get much from me because he isn't ready to listen, if he was, he would be asking deeper questions.

(in reply to Smutmonger)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Generational differences. - 3/31/2010 3:26:13 PM   
Smutmonger


Posts: 995
Joined: 2/17/2010
Status: offline 		You seemed to be fine wasting the time to diss him. Don't try to snowball me.

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael


quote:

ORIGINAL: Smutmonger

But why not ask them to clarify-rather than being a condescending  asshat, and calling them immature for asking?

Is this not just showing your own emotional immaturity?


Because they aren't paying me! How much time do YOU have that you can devote time to handholding of idiots, submissive OR dominant?

When people ask really open, honest soul searching questions, the kind that come from the heart, I open up like a clam and share rather deeply, hell I have sent my number to more than a few CM people to use if they need to talk. However, someone asking "make me a better dom" isn't going to get much from me because he isn't ready to listen, if he was, he would be asking deeper questions.


_____________________________

I didn't get into an alternative lifestyle to explore new frontiers in conformity.

(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Generational differences. - 3/31/2010 3:28:01 PM   
jbcurious


Posts: 717
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Smutmonger

But why not ask them to clarify-rather than being a condescending  asshat, and calling them immature for asking?

Is this not just showing your own emotional immaturity?


I would imagine it's more to do with "It's taken years to develope my skills..." a bit like magicians never telling how a trick is done... and a little male competitive attitude.

But if these youngsters are that easily intimidated by some less then helpful answers... should they really be trying to play with the big boys?

(in reply to Smutmonger)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Generational differences. - 3/31/2010 3:28:47 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Smutmonger

And then add in age-and the general competitiveness of males for females in general. The good old boys club is pervasive.


What you're stating here is exactly why there is an issue.

From what I see on the boards, the issue isn't the good old boys club.  It's how people respond if they are met with the good old boys club mentality.

Here are some of the issues:

1.  Lack of confidence.

2.  Lack of social grace.

3.  Being too darn concerned about being liked by everyone else.

4.  No initiative.  (And, no, I don't count whipping up a CM profile as initiative.)

5.  Lack in competency in the written language.


Now, which of the above really screams "Dominant" to you?  None of these are really going to go over all that well in the case of a top, either.  There's nothing implying good communication skills to enable this person to negotiate well before a scene.  They might not get one at all due to not being able to display courtesy when interacting with others.  If they put in the practice with the toys of the trade, they'd build confidence because they have become accurate (at least in targeting a pillow).  Regardless of age, some male tops just reek of insecurity, attention whoring, and self esteem issues.

Now, tell Me.  If you were a female bottom, is that who you'd like to offer up your backside to?


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Smutmonger)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Generational differences. - 3/31/2010 3:40:07 PM   
Nslavu


Posts: 342
Joined: 2/1/2010
Status: offline 		What!!??? expect grown ups to act like grown ups?


I think you're right if I get the gist of your OP. It's incumbent on the older generation to set good examples, rather than expect kids to act like grown ups without having been afforded an example that would make them better grown ups and or doms/subs whatever the case may be.


Problem, ... everyone teaches 'only' what he/she knows (has learned), and or uses a behavior that they have become accustomed to.


I think this is far more intricate than your OP suggests.




quote:

ORIGINAL: Smutmonger

But why not ask them to clarify-rather than being a condescending  asshat, and calling them immature for asking?

Is this not just showing your own emotional immaturity?
quote:

But why not ask them to clarify-rather than being a condescending  asshat, and calling them immature for asking?

Is this not just showing your own emotional immaturity?

_____________________________

I didn't get into an alternative lifestyle to explore new frontiers in conformity.

(in reply to Smutmonger)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Generational differences. - 3/31/2010 3:43:58 PM   
Wolf2Bear


Posts: 3204
Joined: 9/6/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Smutmonger

I agree. Something we all have to learn. Things like compasion, humility-being responsible others besides ourselves. I'm happy to point out things I learned the hard way. Pain is a good teacher.

Have you ever wished you had someone to take you aside and relate thier story to you? And say "I really used to look at this stuff from a bad place-but I changed this and that-and it seems to work better for me now"?

Would it have made any difference?




then the big questiuon is...how many of these people will actually listen to what you relate of your experiences? There is ia difference between a younger person who comes on here and is actually expressing their desire to learn fron us who have experirnced more than they have. Yet there are too many who come here, copping a better then thou attitude and figures they know more then some of us who have been in this for 5, 10 or more years. Hell aty one time or another...we all were fresh meat and it doesn't matter which site we went to, we were either ridiculed or taken under someone's wing.  It is life experience which makes some more mature not if they are 20 or 35 or even 50.



_____________________________

~Resident Sadist Approved~

Take the pain
Take the pleasure
I'm the master of both
Close your eyes, not your mind
Let me into your soul
I'm gonna work it 'til your totally blown

(in reply to Smutmonger)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Generational differences. - 3/31/2010 4:41:56 PM   
catize


Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline 		My opinion is that gender and orientation have a lot more to do with it than age.
Read any thread that turns into a pissing contest and most of the time (not all) the “contestants” are:
a.) male
and
b) dominant.
Age simply adds to the the amount of piss being thrown around.
Equally irritating to me are the submissive females who apologize “I'm sorry but I think......” “I hope I haven't offended anyone with my opinion,question”,etc.etc. But I digress and perhaps that is another topic.
My comment regarding your OP is this;
You can tell a (male) dominant, but you can't tell him much.

_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to Smutmonger)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Generational differences. - 3/31/2010 4:50:20 PM   
DomImus


Posts: 2004
Joined: 3/17/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Smutmonger
I wonder at times


I do, too. I wonder what good people think a condescending opus like the one you wrote will do.


_____________________________

"Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable." Sidney J. harris

(in reply to Smutmonger)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Generational differences. - 3/31/2010 4:53:54 PM   
DomImus


Posts: 2004
Joined: 3/17/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Smutmonger
But why not ask them to clarify-rather than being a condescending  asshat, and calling them immature for asking?
Is this not just showing your own emotional immaturity?


You're the biggest example of what is wrong with this "community". People who have their mind made up that they are right and nothing is going to change it.


_____________________________

"Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable." Sidney J. harris

(in reply to Smutmonger)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Generational differences. - 3/31/2010 5:05:26 PM   
brainiacsub


Posts: 1209
Joined: 11/11/2007
From: San Antonio, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: catize

My opinion is that gender and orientation have a lot more to do with it than age.
Read any thread that turns into a pissing contest and most of the time (not all) the “contestants” are:
a.) male
and
b) dominant.
Age simply adds to the the amount of piss being thrown around.
Equally irritating to me are the submissive females who apologize “I'm sorry but I think......” “I hope I haven't offended anyone with my opinion,question”,etc.etc. But I digress and perhaps that is another topic.
My comment regarding your OP is this;
You can tell a (male) dominant, but you can't tell him much.

Don't mean to derail this thread, but I found this to be cute and very true.
Earlier today I was giving subtee some sarcastic "advice" about how to mix it up with all the testosterone in one of the political threads. I was going to tell her that she could always go to one of the "Ask a Submissive" threads where everyone is usually nice and complimentary and apologetic and sugar and spice and all that shit, but I thought I might offend someone.

(in reply to catize)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Generational differences. - 3/31/2010 5:06:04 PM   
delicatelydirty


Posts: 126
Joined: 2/7/2010
Status: offline 		I have watched younger Dominant males get dissed time and again on forums and in chat rooms.... the ones who are genuine stick around, they cop it on the chin, learn from it and prove themselves, they may have to work a little harder to do so but if they are serious they will put the effort in.
I have a friend, he is 23 although we met initially when he was about 19 and I remember the crap he used to cop in chat of a different kink site, but you know, he is still around and he is a damn good dominant, but then he also gets out there in the real world and learns from real people, he never just sat around and whined about how mean the people in internet land were to him.

But I have also seen my fair share of older Doms get smashed to pieces, usually because they are not  Dominant but just a pervert looking to get his rocks off... which is fine, nothing wrong with that, they just shouldn't pretend to be something they are not and then have a big cry when someone calls them on their shit.

The reason new fem subs get snapped up quick in my opinion is often times there is a sense of vulnerability and the old "sub frenzy" going on and predators smell blood in the water a mile away. Sometimes you get lucky and you find a man who is genuine and truly wants to guide you most times you get one of the affore mentioned perverts... although I know I have learnt generally how to recognize the wanna be's from the genuine ones.

But anyone who ventures into internet land for advice needs a thick skin, at least a little common sense and a decent grasp on the English language doesn't hurt either.

(edited to fix my own grasp on the English language lol)


< Message edited by delicatelydirty -- 3/31/2010 5:10:17 PM >

(in reply to DomImus)
Profile   Post #: 40
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