Andalusite
Posts: 2492
Joined: 1/25/2009 Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Focus50 So when I see a teenage dom come to CM to be a "better master", what I really see is some selfish, self-entitled arsewipe looking to skip pre-school and high school and go straight to college for the "good stuff".... I regard the world of BDSM as being "advanced level" relationships and, like most I know personally, did not come into the lifestyle till my 30's... So I go at teen doms hard, to see what they're really made of. I especially do this because I believe one of the great attributes of a decent Dominant is the ability to remain calm and composed in stressful situations. And 9 times out of 10, what I get back is a foul-mouthed spray of indignance and petulence - game over; nothing left but the award ceremony for yours truly. Why don't you go after those middle-aged Doms just as hard - you know, the ones who spent years in unfulfilling vanilla relationships, then divorced or cheated on their spouse because they decided D/s was important to them after all? Granted, a few of them are able to move seamlessly with their spouse from vanilla into D/s or M/s or kink, and some others have very responsible poly relationships, but a lot of vanilla folks aren't open to either of those options, or their kinky partner doesn't even *try* to discuss it with them. I don't understand why you are advocating that people pursue relationships that they know right from the start are not what they want or need. D/s and M/s delve into areas that involve a great deal of trust and responsibility, but people can be hurt and harmed in vanilla relationships as well. Seriously, some younger people are immature and self-centered, but I know a lot of great, mature, responsible teens. Most late-teen and early-twenties girls have no interest whatsoever in submitting to or dating men in their 30's or above - some are open to older folks, but a lot want a partner who is in the same phase of life as they are. Of course, some will make some mistakes as they figure things out, but that is true of vanilla relationships as well. I think it's rather immature of you to deliberately provoke people into arguments. Yes, grace and tact under pressure is a good characteristic for anyone to have, particularly if they are Dominant. I try to get an idea of how someone handles anger or other negative emotions before I get involved with them. I don't feel the need to test random strangers in that way, though. When my submissive and I started dating, we had met about a year and a half previously, and had been hanging out for 4-5 days out of the week together, with a group of our friends. So, we had the opportunity for a lot of trust and respect to develop very organically, before the first date. Initially, he only brought up wanting to be tied up and spanked, rather than a D/s relationship, but that developed within the first couple of months together, and deepened and intensified over the 5 years we were together. Personally, I disagree that dominance is a personality trait or "nature," for me, it is an interaction with the specific person. Some people push my dominant buttons, others push my submissive buttons, most are egalitarian/neutral.
< Message edited by Andalusite -- 4/1/2010 8:14:23 AM >
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