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Breaking News - April Fools' Day Canceled!! - 3/31/2010 9:29:54 PM

ThatDamnedPanda

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quote:

WASHINGTON - The Department of Homeland Security announced late Wednesday evening that April Fools' Day - the day of pranks, hoaxes, and practical jokes that is traditionally observed on April 1st of each year - will be canceled in 2010 because of heightened security concerns. In announcing the directive, Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano cited the recent arrests of radical militia members in Michigan, saying that it has now become so difficult to tell the difference between terrorists and clowns, there is a danger that people will not know whether they are the victims of a practical joke or if they are, in fact, being murdered by terrorists.

“We regret the inconvenience this may cause to people who have planned elaborate pranks for their friends, families, and co-workers,” said Secretary Napolitano, “but we feel that given the threat under which Americans are living today, we cannot afford to take any chances. We also apologize for the short notice we are giving to practical jokers, and I want to assure everyone who has already spent money on Super Glue, amonium hydroxide, or 'Gay Pride' bumper stickers that if they just take the receipt to their local post office, they will be reimbursed for the materials.” Napolitano said the money for the buyback program will be taken from the funding for the new health care program, since nobody has any idea how any of that is supposed to work anyway.

Full story here

< Message edited by ThatDamnedPanda -- 3/31/2010 9:30:12 PM >

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RE: Breaking News - April Fools' Day Canceled!! - 3/31/2010 9:37:11 PM

Thadius

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Talk about pranks... oh wait she was serious wasn't she?

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RE: Breaking News - April Fools' Day Canceled!! - 3/31/2010 11:45:05 PM

Musicmystery

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Seems this year's April Fool's Day is all about Pandas:

The Taipei Times reported that relations between the island and its rival, China, had been dealt a severe setback when it was discovered that a pair of pandas sent over as a goodwill gift this year were not quite what they seemed. The newspapers said the animals were in fact a pair of Wenzhou brown forest bears dyed to disguise them as rare pandas.

Taipei Zoo official Connie Liu was quoted as saying that her suspicions were aroused when the pandas, Tuan Tuan and Yuan Yuan, began to spend almost all of their waking hours having sex. Pandas are notorious for their low libidos, which make them difficult to breed in captivity.

“Let’s just say Tuan Tuan and Yuan Yuan would tuan yuan at every chance,” said Liu, referring to the combination of the panda’s names, which means “to reunite” in Mandarin. “Their behavior caused chaos. Children screamed and parents became irate.”

As if that was not sufficient proof, she added that further evidence of the disguise emerged this week. “Their roots began to show.” Not everyone got the joke. One blogger on China picked up the story, writing “Seriously, folks, you just can’t make up stuff like this.” Leading China blog danwei.org, responded: “Yes, you can.”

Google, as ever, was swift to roll out its own jests. Its Street View feature in Google Maps replaced the usual yellow figure with a black and white panda.

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RE: Breaking News - April Fools' Day Canceled!! - 4/1/2010 12:19:18 AM

allthatjaz

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My partners birthday has always fallen on April fools day. Does this mean his birthday is cancelled too?!

by the way HAPPY BIRTHDAY STEPHEN XXX

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RE: Breaking News - April Fools' Day Canceled!! - 4/1/2010 12:24:31 AM

Musicmystery

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RE: Breaking News - April Fools' Day Canceled!! - 4/1/2010 5:10:48 AM

LadyAngelika

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quote:

The Department of Homeland Security announced late Wednesday evening that April Fools' Day - the day of pranks, hoaxes, and practical jokes that is traditionally observed on April 1st of each year - will be canceled in 2010 because of heightened security concerns.

Morons. I just love how they think they can just police everything. First this, next the thought police.

- LA

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RE: Breaking News - April Fools' Day Canceled!! - 4/1/2010 9:00:02 AM

Meliai

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

quote:

The Department of Homeland Security announced late Wednesday evening that April Fools' Day - the day of pranks, hoaxes, and practical jokes that is traditionally observed on April 1st of each year - will be canceled in 2010 because of heightened security concerns.

Morons. I just love how they think they can just police everything. First this, next the thought police.

- LA

click the link in the OP

One of the local morning shows had a great one this morning. For over a half hour on my drive in, I heard about the 'pet tax' that had been slipped in on the health care bill. Starting in Jan. 2011, all 4 legged friends under 20lbs would be $100 annual tax, and the price went up based on weight. At first it seemed crazy, until they played a clip of our governor talking about it and how angry she was over it.

By the time I got to work I was livid (3 cats and a 52lb black lab in my home), had called my dad ranting (I even assured him he was exempt from the new tax b/c he is retired and collects social security) AND came into work and told my boss about it.

Then I sat down to Google....and have been giggling since.

*sigh* Hope everyone has some fun today.

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RE: Breaking News - April Fools' Day Canceled!! - 4/1/2010 11:07:14 AM

allthatjaz

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