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RE: feeling sort of snobby - 4/3/2006 4:10:07 AM   
kisshou


Posts: 2425
Joined: 2/11/2005
Status: offline 		It amazes me that this is a 'big' issue for people, I think this is being way too picky

(in reply to Lashra)
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RE: feeling sort of snobby - 4/3/2006 4:20:08 AM   
chercher


Posts: 17
Joined: 1/19/2006
Status: offline 		I agree, it IS an issue. Now I am curious...OP, PLEASE post and let us know what happened?

(in reply to maybemaybenot)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: feeling sort of snobby - 4/3/2006 4:39:35 AM   
NeedToUseYou


Posts: 2297
Joined: 12/24/2005
From: None of your business
Status: offline 		Just going from my viewpoint. I absolutely can't stand people sugar coating issues. It's obvious when someone is doing that, anyway, and it is really  insulting to me.  Anyway. If I were in the situation of eating like that, and you started with I think you are a great guy, blah, blah, blah. I'd probably call it off myself. To me it's just annoying when people don't say what they mean, without jumping threw hoops. I couldn't be with someone like that. Just tell him, most likely he will laugh about it, and say Sorry didn't realize I was doing it. That would be a sorry guy to get offended by such a little request.  Problem solved in 10 seconds.

(in reply to maybemaybenot)
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RE: feeling sort of snobby - 4/3/2006 4:47:17 AM   
Level


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Joined: 3/3/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: kisshou

It amazes me that this is a 'big' issue for people, I think this is being way too picky


So you have no peeves?

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RE: feeling sort of snobby - 4/3/2006 5:16:10 AM   
ExistentialSteel


Posts: 676
Joined: 1/18/2005
Status: offline 		I have “enjoyed” fine dining with respected officials I barely knew as some of my duties in a previous life. I understand etiquette and the proper use of silverware lined up to eternity that goes with a 10 course meal. Terrepin forks and demitasse spoons come to mind. I was taught the use of these implements and dining decorum by experts who wanted to ensure that I represented the best. I even learned to enjoy fine dining and do it now for fun.

Having said that, there is something slightly askew when someone says it makes them ill to see another talk while chewing, etc. Have you people never eaten at McDonalds with the lunch time crowd? Have you never scooped roasted osters off the shell, made faces while trying to chew them to the laughter of everyone? Do you demand formal manners eating breakfast together after a night of scening? Yeah, I know you are cultured and want to tell the world how disgusted you are with some.

There is a certain festive air to feasts. Drinking usually goes with it and table manners are left behind. Has anyone read Tom Jones or seen the old movie? There is an erotic scene where he and this girl eat with their mouths open, food dripping down their chins and finally making love on the table admist turkey legs and dressing. I think if someone laughs and says something with food in the mouth now and then bothers you enough that you are disgusted, you should pat your mouth with your napkin, tell the waiter that your water is dusty and drive past me and the McDonald’s crowd.  

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RE: feeling sort of snobby - 4/3/2006 5:32:31 AM   
MHOO314


Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline 		Call Me a snob mbmbn, I cannot abide poor table manners---and food smacking makes Me want to smack them! Dinners especially in My home are an intimate time--let alone in a restaurant---that unfortunately is a major turn off for Me---the other one is when they hold the utensils gripped in their hand like a garden trowel---no matter how I try to overlook it, it becomes a growing irritant.

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RE: feeling sort of snobby - 4/3/2006 5:37:35 AM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline 		Got to agree with MH something like that does grate on my nerves.... however, being a Dom, it is something that can be rectified, just train them to eat properly... or at least well enough that I can have a meal with then without wanting to send them from the table till they learn some manners!

The other way around on the dynamic? Difficult one to handle... maybe you could tactfully raise the issue and see what the responce is?


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RE: feeling sort of snobby - 4/3/2006 6:02:20 AM   
SirLordTrainer


Posts: 820
Joined: 5/6/2004
From: Indy
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

And what if ya'll become partners...................he ties you up......leaves the room......comes back with a bowl of cereal..... a banana......maybe some licorice........you cant move........slurppp slurrppp chomp chomp smack smack....


Then it becomes her punishment.. jots this down in My book of disciplinary ideas  *chuckles*

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RE: feeling sort of snobby - 4/3/2006 6:16:25 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		This is why I always go out to eat with someone on a first date- you learn so much about a person by sharing a meal with them.

You can simply call him and say "I had a great time overall but didn't feel like there was enough of a connection to date again right now."  If he presses for details, you can be honest, but only if he specifically wants to know.

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RE: feeling sort of snobby - 4/3/2006 6:22:17 AM   
maybemaybenot


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Joined: 9/22/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ExistentialSteel


Having said that, there is something slightly askew when someone says it makes them ill to see another talk while chewing, etc. Have you people never eaten at McDonalds with the lunch time crowd? Have you never scooped roasted osters off the shell, made faces while trying to chew them to the laughter of everyone? Do you demand formal manners eating breakfast together after a night of scening? Yeah, I know you are cultured and want to tell the world how disgusted you are with some.



This has little to do with being cultured or not uncultured. I have already said that there are meals that are looser than others. As for eating at McDonalds, raw oysters.. sure I have done that, I am not sitting directly across the table from them and am not going to have to dine with them again. And yes, it makes me ill, some folks get squeemish at fingernails on a chalkboard, some folks have other quirks. I am not looking for perfection, simply less oral noise and less visual experience with varying stages of mastication. .
As for your entire post.. I will take mnottertails " stupid cunt" remark over your condecending remarks anyday. How's that for refined?

MistressHathor and RavenMuse:  These are the times, I think I should get me a Dominant gene transplant, then it's an easy solution. !! lol
 
            mbmbn


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When tolerance is not reciprocated, tolerance becomes surrender.

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RE: feeling sort of snobby - 4/3/2006 6:45:57 AM   
ExistentialSteel


Posts: 676
Joined: 1/18/2005
Status: offline 		With all due respect, if you don't want to hear the other side, don't bring it up. What bothered you about my post is that it was "condescending" as you say. That says much, but possibly others found your indignation condescending. Yeah, I kind of liked Mnottertail's post, too, and I'll leave his words with you.

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RE: feeling sort of snobby - 4/3/2006 6:46:56 AM   
plantlady64


Posts: 755
Joined: 5/19/2005
Status: offline 		Hello All,
I say if you've been taught good table manners in your life and know how to have a civilized dinner by etticut standards & that works for you that's fine. Being able to behave in refined ways is indeed a benefit and gift.
Some of us are lucky to appreciate the more elegant styles of our dining habits and look for others who share that standard.
I am one to put my napkin in my lap, to ask to be excused, to not hold my fork in one hand and my drink in the other at the same time etc..
I've also worked on a landscaping crew where we sat in the dirt and ate with our fingers & most of the men talked with their mouths full.
I have enjoyed the company of both situations with people without holding them to my standards. I say people are going to do what works for them. You have to decide if the way they are and the expectations you have of them are similar enough to persue this as is or not.

People rarely change to suit someone elses needs so find someone you can accept at face value. In the end you'll be happier with someone who views the same standards as you important.
Suzanne

(in reply to maybemaybenot)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: feeling sort of snobby - 4/3/2006 7:01:16 AM   
artglfr


Posts: 235
Joined: 4/8/2005
Status: offline 		It appeared he seemed to have manners and decent taste the entire day yet when He ate he was a pig...Was he playing you to see your expression, if you would say anything? Probably not but I would suggest trying him one more time, if he doesn't smile at you and actually eat with proper manners this time, you are going to lose Him anyway so why not just be honest with him? 

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RE: feeling sort of snobby - 4/3/2006 7:16:59 AM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		If I want to either have or attend a formal dinner, I believe it is reasonable that those there will exhibit reasonable table manners. Whilst I too was taught much the same as ES and for probably similar reasons (albeit I would be representing the Family), I can also enjoy the munch and slurp at McDonalds and better still at a medieval Feast where you use a four tine fork , a spoon (wood is good), a knife which you may or may not have been using for armour repair and carry on your belt and have the food served in a bread trencher…  Gotto love tossing bones over my shoulder too….All are good in their own place…. I’ve been known to have a superb roast of freshly killed game, boiled veg , fresh damper and a bottle of fine wine served in a crystal goblet with silver wear on the table when camping as well It’s all a matter of perspective and what you want..  

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(in reply to artglfr)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: feeling sort of snobby - 4/3/2006 8:01:12 AM   
maybemaybenot


Posts: 2817
Joined: 9/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: maybemaybenot

. I don't expect perfection, but the simple basics of eating with your mouth closed and not making noise are things I can't get past.

               mbmbn


If that < which is the crux of my OP> is condecending indignation,  than so be it.  I have no problem hearing the other side ES, none at all. Mnottertail, called it as he saw it AND answered the question. You choose to just give me your opinion on what sort of person I am, which of course is your right and my right to fire back.

IronBear and Plantlady:

I too, love Medievil dinners and have gone to many. They are great fun. There is one here where you get no utensils and everything is eaten with your fingers, and the bones and leftovers are tossed on the floor. Some friends of mine have a " Thanksgiving Day in the Woods", every Friday after Thanksgiving, where we all go to a remote place and cook and eat dinner as the Pilgrims would have. Including someone having shot a wild turkey for the main course. Using only homemade utensils, pots, containers,  a make shift table, that on more than one occasion has collapsed and we have eaten off our laps. lol  Also an enjoyable time and one I look forward to every year
I have another group of friends who live a biker lifestyle. I attend many of their fund raisers and spring flings and events. Generally all of we women cook a dish and it is laid out on the table. It is commonplace for the guests to walk by a bowl of macaroni salad or anything else and reach in with their hands and eat a handful of food, then lick their fingers. Personally I don't eat anything that is set out, I eat off the grill. Two fold reasoning.. yes it is kinda gross to me, but it is a health issue to. God knows who has what, and hepatitis thrives in that condition.   Conversly when I have some of these friends to my home they do not use their fingers to pick food off the serving dishes. And not because I have said anything, I don't know why really, but it occured to me while reading both of your posts.

                               mbmbn

< Message edited by maybemaybenot -- 4/3/2006 8:07:29 AM >

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Tolerance of evil is suicide.- NYC Firefighter

When tolerance is not reciprocated, tolerance becomes surrender.

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RE: feeling sort of snobby - 4/3/2006 8:06:31 AM   
maybemaybenot


Posts: 2817
Joined: 9/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

This is why I always go out to eat with someone on a first date- you learn so much about a person by sharing a meal with them.

You can simply call him and say "I had a great time overall but didn't feel like there was enough of a connection to date again right now."  If he presses for details, you can be honest, but only if he specifically wants to know.


LA:

I think you hit the nail on the head. I guess my expectations of a first meet or a first date is that one is showing their best side. And while this is not the end all-be all, at my age, if this was a test as some have said, I am too old. And if he is just lacking in this department, I really don't want a * project* as basic as this.

Thanx, you put things in a very good perspective for me. And so simply, too !!!!!

              mbmbn

_____________________________

Tolerance of evil is suicide.- NYC Firefighter

When tolerance is not reciprocated, tolerance becomes surrender.

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Profile   Post #: 56
RE: feeling sort of snobby - 4/3/2006 9:09:51 AM   
Evanesce


Posts: 2325
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline 		I'd say be honest with him about your feelings.  I'd be disgusted if someone I was dining with ate that way, too, and I'd certainly tell them how I felt about it.  I wouldn't tell him he's got the table manners of a hog, but a polite mention of keeping one's mouth closed whilst chewing and not speaking with a mouth full of food is certainly warranted here.

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Profile   Post #: 57
RE: feeling sort of snobby - 4/3/2006 9:29:12 AM   
ExistentialSteel


Posts: 676
Joined: 1/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: maybemaybenot

quote:

ORIGINAL: maybemaybenot

. I don't expect perfection, but the simple basics of eating with your mouth closed and not making noise are things I can't get past.

              mbmbn


If that < which is the crux of my OP> is condecending indignation,  than so be it.  I have no problem hearing the other side ES, none at all. Mnottertail, called it as he saw it AND answered the question. You choose to just give me your opinion on what sort of person I am, which of course is your right and my right to fire back.

IronBear and Plantlady:

I too, love Medievil dinners and have gone to many. They are great fun. There is one here where you get no utensils and everything is eaten with your fingers, and the bones and leftovers are tossed on the floor. Some friends of mine have a " Thanksgiving Day in the Woods", every Friday after Thanksgiving, where we all go to a remote place and cook and eat dinner as the Pilgrims would have. Including someone having shot a wild turkey for the main course. Using only homemade utensils, pots, containers,  a make shift table, that on more than one occasion has collapsed and we have eaten off our laps. lol  Also an enjoyable time and one I look forward to every year
I have another group of friends who live a biker lifestyle. I attend many of their fund raisers and spring flings and events. Generally all of we women cook a dish and it is laid out on the table. It is commonplace for the guests to walk by a bowl of macaroni salad or anything else and reach in with their hands and eat a handful of food, then lick their fingers. Personally I don't eat anything that is set out, I eat off the grill. Two fold reasoning.. yes it is kinda gross to me, but it is a health issue to. God knows who has what, and hepatitis thrives in that condition.   Conversly when I have some of these friends to my home they do not use their fingers to pick food off the serving dishes. And not because I have said anything, I don't know why really, but it occured to me while reading both of your posts.

                              mbmbn


Maybenot, okay, I understand your concerns over health issues better and I am tolerant of that view. I guess we will have to think of me like John Belushi in Animal House, at the lunch scene with the snooty folks, when he imitates a pimple exploding over the table. Hey, we all have opinions and you only gave me yours. I think my thrust at your OP was what I felt was intolerance over minor issues is why I took up for your guy chewing with his mouth open. I may not have taken into consideration your concerns enough.

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RE: feeling sort of snobby - 4/3/2006 10:09:09 AM   
maybemaybenot


Posts: 2817
Joined: 9/22/2005
Status: offline 		ExistentialSteel:

Wanna do lunch sometime?

I understand that you may have misinterpreted me. Sometimes, my writing is more formal than I am, which can give a skewed impression of "me". Ya, I am funky about table manors, but that does not preclude me from having fun. When me and my siblings were little, we played this silly food game called " Lookit". < only in the absence of opur parents of course>. One of us would chew our food  and while chewing ask the others if they wanted to play " lookit", when they said yes, you opened your mouth and had the chewed food on your tongue and said 
" lookit", hoping to gross the others out.. Every once in a while we still do it, just to ge a laugh, only now that we are grown we do it in the presence of our parents.

                      mbmbn

_____________________________

Tolerance of evil is suicide.- NYC Firefighter

When tolerance is not reciprocated, tolerance becomes surrender.

(in reply to ExistentialSteel)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: feeling sort of snobby - 4/3/2006 10:19:39 AM   
ExistentialSteel


Posts: 676
Joined: 1/18/2005
Status: offline 		Maybenot, thanks for your understanding. Yeah, I really knew what you meant and I was just making trouble as always. :) Btw, Logan Airport is a place I've been.

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For those who are like Roman Candles leaving bright trails in the night sky while the crowd watches until the dark blue center light bursts into magnificent colors and the crowd goes, ahhhhhhhhhh.

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Profile   Post #: 60
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