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RE: feeling sort of snobby - 4/3/2006 11:40:56 AM   
FelinePersuasion


Posts: 4792
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline 		So then I can come to your house and smack and chomp and slurp my food all night in your ear and maybe even out in a restarant where you want a nice time? And then how about I talk to you with food in my mouth but instead of keeping it in my mouth spray it all over you and the table cause I kept talking with to much food in my mouth lol.

quote:

ORIGINAL: kisshou

It amazes me that this is a 'big' issue for people, I think this is being way too picky

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RE: feeling sort of snobby - 4/3/2006 11:44:15 AM   
FelinePersuasion


Posts: 4792
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline 		We played SEE food,, hey do you like see food? yeah why * mouth full of food stick toung out, SEE FOOD get it?


quote:

ORIGINAL: maybemaybenot

ExistentialSteel:

Wanna do lunch sometime?

I understand that you may have misinterpreted me. Sometimes, my writing is more formal than I am, which can give a skewed impression of "me". Ya, I am funky about table manors, but that does not preclude me from having fun. When me and my siblings were little, we played this silly food game called " Lookit". < only in the absence of opur parents of course>. One of us would chew our food  and while chewing ask the others if they wanted to play " lookit", when they said yes, you opened your mouth and had the chewed food on your tongue and said 
" lookit", hoping to gross the others out.. Every once in a while we still do it, just to ge a laugh, only now that we are grown we do it in the presence of our parents.

                     mbmbn

(in reply to maybemaybenot)
Profile   Post #: 62
RE: feeling sort of snobby - 4/3/2006 11:53:08 AM   
FangsNfeet


Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline 		You can find many men to "click" with but it's been known to be impossible for finding the Perfect Man. This means that you'll need to be willing to put up with a thing or two. But if something is there that you find discusting, then it's time to move on. That's what the first meeting is all about. I don't find you being snobby for ending this new friendship over table manners. As an adult, he should already know better and I'm sure you're looking for someone who is already grown up.  

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RE: feeling sort of snobby - 4/3/2006 12:15:08 PM   
kisshou


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Joined: 2/11/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

quote:

ORIGINAL: kisshou

It amazes me that this is a 'big' issue for people, I think this is being way too picky


So you have no peeves?


not any I can think of but I grew up in an unusual manner and if something did bother me I could just block it out

also I have read a zillion posts on people who are single and lonely  and that guy sounded really nice. Once they were in a relationship it would be pretty easy to say to an Owner is part of being in service is to be up front about things that would make an Owner look bad. What if he has to go to a business lunch.

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RE: feeling sort of snobby - 4/3/2006 12:17:46 PM   
kisshou


Posts: 2425
Joined: 2/11/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: FelinePersuasion

So then I can come to your house and smack and chomp and slurp my food all night in your ear and maybe even out in a restarant where you want a nice time? And then how about I talk to you with food in my mouth but instead of keeping it in my mouth spray it all over you and the table cause I kept talking with to much food in my mouth lol.

quote:

ORIGINAL: kisshou

It amazes me that this is a 'big' issue for people, I think this is being way too picky



feline

I have five older brothers , believe me doll I would never notice.

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RE: feeling sort of snobby - 4/3/2006 2:38:55 PM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FelinePersuasion

So then I can come to your house and smack and chomp and slurp my food all night in your ear and maybe even out in a restarant where you want a nice time? And then how about I talk to you with food in my mouth but instead of keeping it in my mouth spray it all over you and the table cause I kept talking with to much food in my mouth lol.

quote:

ORIGINAL: kisshou

It amazes me that this is a 'big' issue for people, I think this is being way too picky



Feline, sure you can do that in my company as long as you are prepared for the humiliating consequences..... <<<VVWEG and satanic chuckle>>>


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Master of Bruin Cottage

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Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

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(in reply to FelinePersuasion)
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RE: feeling sort of snobby - 4/3/2006 2:50:07 PM   
SirKenin


Posts: 2994
Joined: 10/31/2004
From: Barrie, ON Canada
Status: offline 		Ok, so this guy was brought up in a barn.

How he eats is only the tip of the iceburg, I promise you that.  If he eats like trailer trash there is a lot more to come.  It would probably be enough to drive you batty.  I would walk away now personally.  That would just be a deal breaker for Me.  I could not take it.  Does he live in a garden shed and go by the name of "Bubbles" par chance?  lol

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RE: feeling sort of snobby - 4/3/2006 3:32:28 PM   
LokisBrat


Posts: 431
Joined: 12/5/2005
From: Mayberry, Illinois
Status: offline 		A wise friend once told me that if something annoyed me about a man early on in the relationship, that same annoyance was likely to become something that would kill the romance down the road.


Brat



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RE: feeling sort of snobby - 4/3/2006 5:02:19 PM   
MrDiscipline44


Posts: 1776
Joined: 1/5/2005
Status: offline 		I think that table manners are an important part of ones up bringing. I just can't have a person around me that does not know how to close their mouth when chewing food or wants to hold a conversation with a full mouth. I've been known, on reflex, to smack someone for chewing their food in my ear or try to talk to me while eating. Even if it's my mouth that is full and they ask me a question, I consider it rude and have said so in a not so nice manner.

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RE: feeling sort of snobby - 4/3/2006 5:29:47 PM   
alexus


Posts: 24
Joined: 9/24/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: maybemaybenot

This is a very small thing in the larger picture, but I am really struggling with it and looking for some insight, suggestions, advice.

Not long ago, I met a person of interest. We clicked an many levels and had a lot of commonalities in what we were looking for in a D/s relationship. After a few weeks we set up a date and met. We had a lovely afternoon at the Boston Art Museum, getting to know each other and seeing if the " click" was there in person. On both parts, I think it was/is. After a great *date* he asked if I would join him for dinner, which I jumped at. He mesmerized me all day, and I was thrilled to spend more time with him.

We went to the resturant and as the food and drink were served and we began eating. Here is the glitch. I was mortified at his table manners. He smacked and chewed his food with his mouth open, talked while chewing so that I could see the food in his mouth. Made slurping noises when he drank. He literally lifted his fork above the food and stabbed it like it was going to escape him.
I am kind of funky about table manners. When I am with some one who eats like that I cannot eat, my stomach churns and I get gaggy. I don't expect perfection, but the simple basics of eating with your mouth closed and not making noise are things I can't get past.

So, here is the problem: Barring this one little glitch, I would like to explore this further. I have no idea how to tactfully tell some one that when they eat, they make me ill. I can tell a child, I can tell a friend, but some one I have just met and don't have that familiarity level with is different. He has recently called and asked for a second * date*, and I am trying to figure out how to address this. I feel absolutely foolish at my age to not have any idea of how to deal with something as trite as this.. but as trite as it is, it has affected how I would feel about pursuing things deeper unless I can resolve this. Any ideas would be welcome.

                mbmbn


It has nothing to do with being "snobby".   It's just called bad manners.  Tell him he eats like a pig.  Simple. 

What if he farted at the dinner table?  Or, picked his nose.  I bet ya would get real verbal then.

Like school on Sunday.  NO CLASS!


(in reply to maybemaybenot)
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RE: feeling sort of snobby - 4/3/2006 5:58:17 PM   
truesub4u


Posts: 2949
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline 		I was thinking of the headline of this thread most of the day off and on. Feeling sort of snobby.... I gotta ask,.... what's wrong with that? When you go to meet someone... they expect certain things about you to be proper... why can't you expect the same thing in return? And I do not think it snobby to expect manners to be displayed while in public... hell I would expect them at home as well. But more so in public. So although I stated earlier about making sure it wasn't a sinus problem that made the chewing with mouth open a problem.... I got to thinking about the way you stated he held the fork over his food and was stabbing at it. Be it up bringing, or just poor manners... it's not being snobby to find it offensive. It's being civil... human.... you describing his eating habits made me think of  the movie....Seven Brides for Seven Brothers... a bunch of men living up in the mountains.. in the wild.. no woman folks to have to show manners to... so why bother with them. Trust me.. if you haven't seen the movie... (it's a musical)... the first gal in the scene... shows them men how manners will get them further with the gals... than showing they have no manners or proper up bringing.

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RE: feeling sort of snobby - 4/3/2006 10:25:54 PM   
FelinePersuasion


Posts: 4792
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline 		hahah god siblings have to come in handy for something grins at kisshou.

My bro and I threw food at each other an once spit on each other, him because I spat on him, but there was this unspoken rule you could be a shit to each other but all others all bets are off haha

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Profile   Post #: 72
RE: feeling sort of snobby - 4/4/2006 5:11:27 AM   
candystripper


Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline 		i do not think "snobby" is the right word for post, but that's just me.  Manners matter to me alot, in part because i was raised in some danger, where food was not a pleasant experience.  When i ate with my brother's family i rarely touched my food because their mannners are appalling...everyone acts like a pack animal.  i notice sometimes my brother has better manners when we are alone; i guess he's not worried i will steal  his food.
 
The way someone was raised generally reflects in their manners, though obviously people can learn.  If this guy did not bathe or dress well, and you still felt drawn to him, you'd have the same problem. 
 
i cannot tell you whether to speak up; let him go; or tolerate his mannners.  i don't know what's right.  But i know i'll never enjoy a meal with my family and they think i'm odd.
 
i guess i'm no help but i commiserate.
 
candystripper

< Message edited by candystripper -- 4/4/2006 5:12:57 AM >

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RE: feeling sort of snobby - 4/4/2006 6:20:41 AM   
crouchingtigress


Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline 		OK I only read page one, so this may have been said, but there a so few folks that get to the meeting stage, and even fewer that get to the interest stage that I think you should work on this after all you have nothing to loose.
 
Tell him straight out, and I am sure that if he is a good human, he will A. want to know and B. want to change because no one likes knowing that something they do others find disgusting.
 
"Sir i would like to respectfully approach you with something i need to bring to your attention, ....ect"
 
And in conquering your fear you get a unique opportunity to watch how this potential Dom, Steward, Owner is responsive to your needs, and how importantly he values self improvement and self awareness.

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This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."




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Profile   Post #: 74
RE: feeling sort of snobby - 4/5/2006 1:44:45 AM   
Mavis


Posts: 828
Joined: 2/8/2004
Status: offline 		Been there,  married Him anyway.  :)
On a date at a Steak place,  He had a t-bone steak.  Most wonderful gentleman, clean, neat tidy, ANd well hung,  but this guy picked UP  the T-Bone and nibbled at it. 

i was mortified!  IN public no less.  OMG..  i did tell him "i want to be proud of you, and have others see what a great guy you are.  my family is going to be so distracted by Your table manners, they will miss all the wonderful things i see, and i would be heartbroken for them to not get it."  

He explained it might be easier if he told them he learned to eat that way in the army, where boot camp was about shoveling in as much as you could before Drill Sgt called dinner a done deal.  We did that,  and He watched himself,  and the family did love him, and we've been married 25 years. 

[Next installment:    why does our 22 year old son eat like a pig?] 
naw, i'll spare everyone that part.

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RE: feeling sort of snobby - 4/5/2006 8:07:55 AM   
yourMissTress


Posts: 1665
Joined: 6/14/2005
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		Manners and etiquette are designed so that everyone is comfortable in a social situation.  They were not invented as a club with which to bash someone over the head with who hasn't been taught any differently. 
 
That being said, I overlook elbows on the table, drop-in visits with no phone call, people that inadvertently invite themselves to parties, blurt out or discuss things inappropriate to the present company and so forth, but eating habits that resemble barnyard behavior I cannot tolerate at all.  As a child I was taught good manners in a rather severe way while having to tolerate some of the most grotesque eating behaviors from the same person.  As a result, when I hear someone smacking thier food or drinking in such a way that I can hear, I have a terrible instant reaction that takes every ounce of my being to control and keep me sitting in my chair.  I have spent business dinners in loud conversation in an attempt to drown out eating noise, and there are people that I completely avoid in social situations where food is served because of it. 
 
I don't think it's snobbish to expect people (who are not currently homeless) to eat as though they will get to do it again in the near future. 

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RE: feeling sort of snobby - 4/5/2006 9:09:32 AM   
Submotive


Posts: 440
Joined: 9/9/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie
You have to decide if it's a deal breaker or if it's something you can work around.  It probably isn't going to change much.


This is my thinking as well. i hate, what are in my opinion, poor table manners and people don't change unless what they're doing bothers them. Then they typically try to get others to change first. LOL

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RE: feeling sort of snobby - 4/5/2006 1:52:11 PM   
Wildfleurs


Posts: 1650
Joined: 9/24/2004
From: Connecticut
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SirKenin

Ok, so this guy was brought up in a barn.

How he eats is only the tip of the iceburg, I promise you that.  If he eats like trailer trash there is a lot more to come.  It would probably be enough to drive you batty.  I would walk away now personally.  That would just be a deal breaker for Me.  I could not take it.  Does he live in a garden shed and go by the name of "Bubbles" par chance?  lol


I agree with a lot of advice to the OP around politely declining to see the guy.  Personally I always joked that I needed to have an owner that could tell the difference between a salad and meat fork.  To me proper dining habits are very important as well as comfort at a nice restaurant.

But the assumption that poor dining habits = poor white trash is just a really poorly based assumption.  There are plenty of masters level universities that offer dining classes on top of basic writing classes.  Yes in some classes of people sometimes dining etiquette is valued, or maybe its not.  But I don't feel comfortable making gross generalizations about that because I've seen wild variances on dining abilities that don't always have to do with the persons socio-economic status.

C~


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(in reply to SirKenin)
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