Gender/Power Dynamics.

Gender/Power Dynamics. (Full Version)

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MadeiraDarling -> Gender/Power Dynamics. (4/1/2010 6:23:11 PM)
Well, one thing I've noticed is that a lot of D/s people like to play with the idea of one gender being meant to submit and the other dominate and it puzzles me in all variations. I find the idea "Females are superior and males meant to submit" as odd as "Males are superior and females are meant to submit" to me my sex has little to do with my dominance or submission, I think that dominants are meant to be dominant, and submissives are meant to submit. In fact I find the entire idea a little bit... diminishing of my power or lack there of, as it kinda turns down the dial on ones uniqueness, sort of a "Oh, well my entire sex is superior, guess I'm not unusual" thing. How does everyone else feel about this paradigm?

LadyAngelika -> RE: Gender/Power Dynamics. (4/1/2010 6:28:02 PM)
I think it's all a bunch of hooey. No gender is superior, no gender has more power. I wrote in another thread that ended up dealing with these issues not to long ago that nature would not want one gender dominating over another, that would be a very weak strategy and it would not have made it this far. - LA

VaguelyCurious -> RE: Gender/Power Dynamics. (4/1/2010 6:32:13 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MadeiraDarling In fact I find the entire idea a little bit... diminishing of my power or lack there of, as it kinda turns down the dial on ones uniqueness, sort of a "Oh, well my entire sex is superior, guess I'm not unusual" thing. This. You've hit the nail on the head, as far as I'm concerned. [:)]

AQuietSimpleMan -> RE: Gender/Power Dynamics. (4/1/2010 6:38:41 PM)
Hmmmm....... I think Superior/inferior in general is a futile argument. A submissive male or female can change a power dynamic simply by saying No and walking away. A Dominant male or female can decide one day it's too hard and crawl into the cage. Neither part is superior to the other it is all in how you hold it. In the end I do not think I am unusual, I just think I'm willing to discuss it. And that makes me slightly different but different doesn't mean unusual. QSM

Andalusite -> RE: Gender/Power Dynamics. (4/1/2010 6:43:06 PM)
As I mentioned in the post LA referred to, I think both "all men are dominant/superior" and "all women are dominant/superior" are silly. It might be valid to say that more men are dominant than women, since that's a matter of statistics, or that women tend to be superior at a specific skill than men, but generally speaking, if someone is heterosexual and submissive, they're going to want to submit to the member of the opposite gender. That's just plain common sense! VC, I agree, and back when I was looking, I tended to avoid men who had "female superiority" listed. I found that most of them had an attitude of wanting Ms Domme Generic to fulfill their list of kinks, rather than focusing on building a relationship with a specific individual. I didn't run into many male superiority types this time around, though I have in the past. I either laughed at them or grumbled at them, depending on how they approached it.

DWCskitten -> RE: Gender/Power Dynamics. (4/1/2010 7:21:51 PM)
i think it's just plain silly to think Dominance or submission depends upon one's gender. For me, i know i'm very submissive to a Man yet, if He wanted me to be, i think i could be a bitchin' Domme to a woman. lol i've never really thought of myself as a switch, but....hmmmmm. ~kitten~

DarkSteven -> RE: Gender/Power Dynamics. (4/1/2010 7:47:50 PM)
Yeah, it kinda annoys me when some man writes that women are superior and we men are but worms. It's like "Hey! You don't speak for me!" Steven the nonworm

sweetboundesire -> RE: Gender/Power Dynamics. (4/1/2010 8:01:20 PM)
I'm part alien, so neither applies to me, like anteater, we come here in our non-human ways impersonating human form, longing for fulfillment of our deep, dark desires. You crazy humans and your superior/inferior! It all comes down to respect for each individuals place. Respect, trust, and sanity.

DWCskitten -> RE: Gender/Power Dynamics. (4/1/2010 8:21:23 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DarkSteven Yeah, it kinda annoys me when some man writes that women are superior and we men are but worms. It's like "Hey! You don't speak for me!" Steven the nonworm Steven, i cannot imagine You being a worm but, i bet if You were, You'd be a very cute and wiggly One. [:D] ~kitten~

afkarr -> RE: Gender/Power Dynamics. (4/1/2010 9:20:34 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MadeiraDarling Well, one thing I've noticed is that a lot of D/s people like to play with the idea of one gender being meant to submit and the other dominate and it puzzles me in all variations. I find the idea "Females are superior and males meant to submit" as odd as "Males are superior and females are meant to submit" to me my sex has little to do with my dominance or submission, I think that dominants are meant to be dominant, and submissives are meant to submit. In fact I find the entire idea a little bit... diminishing of my power or lack there of, as it kinda turns down the dial on ones uniqueness, sort of a "Oh, well my entire sex is superior, guess I'm not unusual" thing. How does everyone else feel about this paradigm? The ideas that dominants are always dominants and submissives are always submissive, regardless of gender, overlooks the switches, who can be either. Just as gender does not determine an inherent dynamic, some people are just amde to be both. That being said, men tend to bring out my submissive side, espscially strong men with wiggly womr parts[:D], while girls are just all fluffy and cuddly and make me want to play with them. In that respect, gender does influence both by dominance and submissiveness.

FetishRose -> RE: Gender/Power Dynamics. (4/1/2010 10:49:55 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DWCskitten quote: ORIGINAL: DarkSteven Yeah, it kinda annoys me when some man writes that women are superior and we men are but worms. It's like "Hey! You don't speak for me!" Steven the nonworm Steven, i cannot imagine You being a worm but, i bet if You were, You'd be a very cute and wiggly One. [:D] ~kitten~ I kinda picture the cute worm from labyrinth. "No, I said 'ello,' but that's close enough!"

subboi3382 -> RE: Gender/Power Dynamics. (4/2/2010 12:41:40 AM)
yea i have noticed this a lot, especially with bi women, submitting to males and domming females

Focus50 -> RE: Gender/Power Dynamics. (4/2/2010 2:24:34 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika I think it's all a bunch of hooey. No gender is superior, no gender has more power. Easy to say from the comfort of your loungeroom in the midst of civilised society. Considering much of the D/s dynamic resonates from base, primal needs, how do you think the "no gender is superior" theory might play out in a world where law and order had broken down altogether and replaced with basic instincts, which usually begin with "survival of the fittest"? It's not some sci-fi plot; it's happening all too often in the poorer African nations, for eg. And now I'm wondering about the prospect of 'dominant women' in Islamic nations - THAT sounds like "a bunch of hooey".... Focus.

MadeiraDarling -> RE: Gender/Power Dynamics. (4/2/2010 2:27:53 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: subboi3382 yea i have noticed this a lot, especially with bi women, submitting to males and domming females It's funny I'm the opposite, I dominate men, and submit to women.

MadeiraDarling -> RE: Gender/Power Dynamics. (4/2/2010 2:36:28 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: afkarr The ideas that dominants are always dominants and submissives are always submissive, regardless of gender, overlooks the switches, who can be either. Just as gender does not determine an inherent dynamic, some people are just amde to be both. That being said, men tend to bring out my submissive side, espscially strong men with wiggly womr parts[:D], while girls are just all fluffy and cuddly and make me want to play with them. In that respect, gender does influence both by dominance and submissiveness. I just meant that in contrast to women should be dom! or Men should be dom! I feel that... doms should be dom, in other words people should be what feels right.

DomImus -> RE: Gender/Power Dynamics. (4/2/2010 6:38:12 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MadeiraDarling I think that dominants are meant to be dominant, and submissives are meant to submit. It's rarely that simple.

domiguy -> RE: Gender/Power Dynamics. (4/2/2010 6:52:02 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MadeiraDarling It's funny I'm the opposite, I dominate men, and submit to women. It's funny that the only reason you do it is because you get paid. From your profile... "Also as a hypnotic domme, I can put you under and make you experience just about anything so that's another option." You should put yourself under and try and erase the memories of who hurt you.

TNstepsout -> RE: Gender/Power Dynamics. (4/2/2010 7:08:00 AM)
Well we know that Dominance and submission has about as much to do with gender as it does with Superiority and inferiority. Just because those terms tend to indicate that one role is better or more important or makes one a more worthwhile individual. What is Dominance after all? Is it bulldozing your way through life and always asserting your superiority? Nah. Sometimes it's finesse and strategy which may include submissive behavior. It's been my experience that most people have both qualities, or at least they need both qualities to really succeed in life, because rarely will one be able to always act and react within one dynamic. The key for me is, how does s/he feel most comfortable within a relationship and do relationships benefit from a clear understanding of "roles" for the parties. I think they do. For centuries society has dictated that men would occupy the Dominant role, so there are more Dominant males than females. With those boundaries crumbling we are seeing more and more women embrace a more natural balance in their true natures. The same with men. At least that's my two cents worth.

AquaticSub -> RE: Gender/Power Dynamics. (4/2/2010 7:20:27 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MadeiraDarling How does everyone else feel about this paradigm? Overall... I think it's silly. I think some people, for whatever reason, are meant to submit or dominate and that it doesn't really have to do with gender. I don't regard either gender as inferior or superior and I don't submit to Valyraen because he's male. I submit to him because I love him and that is the dynamic that suits our personalities. Also he's got a really sexy "I'm going to hurt you" voice. That helps. [:D]

ShoreBound149 -> RE: Gender/Power Dynamics. (4/2/2010 7:42:24 AM)
I am not aware of an organized society in history where it's female members as a whole held the majority of positions of power politically, economically and socially. Many still exist today. If that's part of the definition of "dominant" then the male gender's track record is pretty strong as being more dominant than the female gender amongst humans. Obviously, on an individual basis, any one male or female can be either dominant or submissive sexually or in spirit.

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