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Gender/Power Dynamics. - 4/1/2010 6:23:11 PM   
MadeiraDarling


Posts: 30
Joined: 3/16/2010
Status: offline 		Well, one thing I've noticed is that a lot of D/s people like to play with the idea of one gender being meant to submit and the other dominate and it puzzles me in all variations. I find the idea "Females are superior and males meant to submit" as odd as "Males are superior and females are meant to submit" to me my sex has little to do with my dominance or submission, I think that dominants are meant to be dominant, and submissives are meant to submit. In fact I find the entire idea a little bit... diminishing of my power or lack there of, as it kinda turns down the dial on ones uniqueness, sort of a "Oh, well my entire sex is superior, guess I'm not unusual" thing.

How does everyone else feel about this paradigm?
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RE: Gender/Power Dynamics. - 4/1/2010 6:28:02 PM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline 		I think it's all a bunch of hooey. No gender is superior, no gender has more power.

I wrote in another thread that ended up dealing with these issues not to long ago that nature would not want one gender dominating over another, that would be a very weak strategy and it would not have made it this far.

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to MadeiraDarling)
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RE: Gender/Power Dynamics. - 4/1/2010 6:32:13 PM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MadeiraDarling

In fact I find the entire idea a little bit... diminishing of my power or lack there of, as it kinda turns down the dial on ones uniqueness, sort of a "Oh, well my entire sex is superior, guess I'm not unusual" thing.


This. You've hit the nail on the head, as far as I'm concerned.



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RE: Gender/Power Dynamics. - 4/1/2010 6:38:41 PM   
AQuietSimpleMan


Posts: 1410
Joined: 11/15/2009
Status: offline 		Hmmmm.......

I think Superior/inferior in general is a futile argument.

A submissive male or female can change a power dynamic simply by saying No and walking away.

A Dominant male or female can decide one day it's too hard and crawl into the cage.

Neither part is superior to the other it is all in how you hold it.

In the end I do not think I am unusual, I just think I'm willing to discuss it. And that makes me slightly different but different doesn't mean unusual.

QSM

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Guy Stud =Vs= Girl Slut ~~ Debate ENDED!

"If a Key opens many locks, then it is a Master Key, If a Lock is opened by lots of keys, then it is a Shitty Lock"

(in reply to VaguelyCurious)
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RE: Gender/Power Dynamics. - 4/1/2010 6:43:06 PM   
Andalusite


Posts: 2492
Joined: 1/25/2009
Status: offline 		As I mentioned in the post LA referred to, I think both "all men are dominant/superior" and "all women are dominant/superior" are silly. It might be valid to say that more men are dominant than women, since that's a matter of statistics, or that women tend to be superior at a specific skill than men, but generally speaking, if someone is heterosexual and submissive, they're going to want to submit to the member of the opposite gender. That's just plain common sense!

VC, I agree, and back when I was looking, I tended to avoid men who had "female superiority" listed. I found that most of them had an attitude of wanting Ms Domme Generic to fulfill their list of kinks, rather than focusing on building a relationship with a specific individual. I didn't run into many male superiority types this time around, though I have in the past. I either laughed at them or grumbled at them, depending on how they approached it.

(in reply to AQuietSimpleMan)
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RE: Gender/Power Dynamics. - 4/1/2010 7:21:51 PM   
DWCskitten


Posts: 199
Joined: 3/2/2010
Status: offline 		i think it's just plain silly to think Dominance or submission depends upon one's gender. For me, i know i'm very submissive to a Man yet, if He wanted me to be, i think i could be a bitchin' Domme to a woman. lol i've never really thought of myself as a switch, but....hmmmmm.

~kitten~

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formerly sweetsub1957.

New beginnings...my first poly relationship.

Proudly Owned property of MasterDWC.


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RE: Gender/Power Dynamics. - 4/1/2010 7:47:50 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		Yeah, it kinda annoys me when some man writes that women are superior and we men are but worms.  It's like "Hey!  You don't speak for me!"

Steven the nonworm


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"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

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RE: Gender/Power Dynamics. - 4/1/2010 8:01:20 PM   
sweetboundesire


Posts: 285
Joined: 10/29/2009
Status: offline 		I'm part alien, so neither applies to me, like anteater, we come here in our non-human ways impersonating human form, longing for fulfillment of our deep, dark desires. You crazy humans and your superior/inferior! It all comes down to respect for each individuals place. Respect, trust, and sanity.

_____________________________

and every broken line seems to have a particular design~
and the universe can only expand.
gotta pocket full of dreams and cash in my hand.
and i know, money ain't real...

(in reply to DarkSteven)
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RE: Gender/Power Dynamics. - 4/1/2010 8:21:23 PM   
DWCskitten


Posts: 199
Joined: 3/2/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

Yeah, it kinda annoys me when some man writes that women are superior and we men are but worms.  It's like "Hey!  You don't speak for me!"

Steven the nonworm


Steven, i cannot imagine You being a worm but, i bet if You were, You'd be a very cute and wiggly One.

~kitten~

_____________________________

formerly sweetsub1957.

New beginnings...my first poly relationship.

Proudly Owned property of MasterDWC.


(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Gender/Power Dynamics. - 4/1/2010 9:20:34 PM   
afkarr


Posts: 328
Joined: 1/13/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MadeiraDarling

Well, one thing I've noticed is that a lot of D/s people like to play with the idea of one gender being meant to submit and the other dominate and it puzzles me in all variations. I find the idea "Females are superior and males meant to submit" as odd as "Males are superior and females are meant to submit" to me my sex has little to do with my dominance or submission, I think that dominants are meant to be dominant, and submissives are meant to submit. In fact I find the entire idea a little bit... diminishing of my power or lack there of, as it kinda turns down the dial on ones uniqueness, sort of a "Oh, well my entire sex is superior, guess I'm not unusual" thing.

How does everyone else feel about this paradigm?



The ideas that dominants are always dominants and submissives are always submissive, regardless of gender, overlooks the switches, who can be either. Just as gender does not determine an inherent dynamic, some people are just amde to be both.

That being said, men tend to bring out my submissive side, espscially strong men with wiggly womr parts, while girls are just all fluffy and cuddly and make me want to play with them. In that respect, gender does influence both by dominance and submissiveness.

(in reply to MadeiraDarling)
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RE: Gender/Power Dynamics. - 4/1/2010 10:49:55 PM   
FetishRose


Posts: 212
Joined: 8/7/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DWCskitten


quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

Yeah, it kinda annoys me when some man writes that women are superior and we men are but worms.  It's like "Hey!  You don't speak for me!"

Steven the nonworm


Steven, i cannot imagine You being a worm but, i bet if You were, You'd be a very cute and wiggly One.

~kitten~


I kinda picture the cute worm from labyrinth.  "No, I said 'ello,' but that's close enough!"

(in reply to DWCskitten)
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RE: Gender/Power Dynamics. - 4/2/2010 12:41:40 AM   
subboi3382


Posts: 379
Joined: 8/4/2005
Status: offline 		yea i have noticed this a lot, especially with bi women, submitting to males and domming females

(in reply to FetishRose)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Gender/Power Dynamics. - 4/2/2010 2:24:34 AM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

I think it's all a bunch of hooey. No gender is superior, no gender has more power.


Easy to say from the comfort of your loungeroom in the midst of civilised society. Considering much of the D/s dynamic resonates from base, primal needs, how do you think the "no gender is superior" theory might play out in a world where law and order had broken down altogether and replaced with basic instincts, which usually begin with "survival of the fittest"?

It's not some sci-fi plot; it's happening all too often in the poorer African nations, for eg. And now I'm wondering about the prospect of 'dominant women' in Islamic nations - THAT sounds like "a bunch of hooey"....

Focus.

_____________________________

Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

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RE: Gender/Power Dynamics. - 4/2/2010 2:27:53 AM   
MadeiraDarling


Posts: 30
Joined: 3/16/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subboi3382

yea i have noticed this a lot, especially with bi women, submitting to males and domming females


It's funny I'm the opposite, I dominate men, and submit to women.

(in reply to subboi3382)
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RE: Gender/Power Dynamics. - 4/2/2010 2:36:28 AM   
MadeiraDarling


Posts: 30
Joined: 3/16/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: afkarr

The ideas that dominants are always dominants and submissives are always submissive, regardless of gender, overlooks the switches, who can be either. Just as gender does not determine an inherent dynamic, some people are just amde to be both.

That being said, men tend to bring out my submissive side, espscially strong men with wiggly womr parts, while girls are just all fluffy and cuddly and make me want to play with them. In that respect, gender does influence both by dominance and submissiveness.


I just meant that in contrast to women should be dom! or Men should be dom! I feel that... doms should be dom, in other words people should be what feels right.

(in reply to afkarr)
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RE: Gender/Power Dynamics. - 4/2/2010 6:38:12 AM   
DomImus


Posts: 2004
Joined: 3/17/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MadeiraDarling
I think that dominants are meant to be dominant, and submissives are meant to submit.


It's rarely that simple.


_____________________________

"Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable." Sidney J. harris

(in reply to MadeiraDarling)
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RE: Gender/Power Dynamics. - 4/2/2010 6:52:02 AM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MadeiraDarling



It's funny I'm the opposite, I dominate men, and submit to women.


It's funny that the only reason you do it is because you get paid.


From your profile...

"Also as a hypnotic domme, I can put you under and make you experience just about anything so that's another option."


You should put yourself under and try and erase the memories of who hurt you.

_____________________________



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Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Gender/Power Dynamics. - 4/2/2010 7:08:00 AM   
TNstepsout


Posts: 1558
Joined: 8/3/2005
Status: offline 		Well we know that Dominance and submission has about as much to do with gender as it does with Superiority and inferiority.  Just because those terms tend to indicate that one role is better or more important or makes one a more worthwhile individual.  What is Dominance after all? Is it bulldozing your way through life and always asserting your superiority?  Nah.  Sometimes it's finesse and strategy which may include submissive behavior.

It's been my experience that most people have both qualities, or at least they need both qualities to really succeed in life, because rarely will one be able to always act and react within one dynamic. The key for me is, how does s/he feel most comfortable within a relationship and do relationships benefit from a clear understanding of "roles" for the parties.  I think they do. 

For centuries society has dictated that men would occupy the Dominant role, so there are more Dominant males than females.  With those boundaries crumbling we are seeing more and more women embrace a more natural balance in their true natures.  The same with men. 

At least that's my two cents worth.

(in reply to domiguy)
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RE: Gender/Power Dynamics. - 4/2/2010 7:20:27 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MadeiraDarling
How does everyone else feel about this paradigm?


Overall... I think it's silly. I think some people, for whatever reason, are meant to submit or dominate and that it doesn't really have to do with gender. I don't regard either gender as inferior or superior and I don't submit to Valyraen because he's male. I submit to him because I love him and that is the dynamic that suits our personalities. Also he's got a really sexy "I'm going to hurt you" voice. That helps.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to MadeiraDarling)
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RE: Gender/Power Dynamics. - 4/2/2010 7:42:24 AM   
ShoreBound149


Posts: 622
Joined: 7/2/2009
Status: offline 		I am not aware of an organized society in history where it's female members as a whole held the majority of positions of power politically, economically and socially.

Many still exist today. 

If that's part of the definition of "dominant" then the male gender's track record is pretty strong as being more dominant than the female gender amongst humans.

Obviously, on an individual basis, any one male or female can be either dominant or submissive sexually or in spirit. 

_____________________________

"People don't think it be like it is, but it do."

Oscar Gamble

(in reply to MadeiraDarling)
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