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How often do you transgress your own hard limits in you... - 4/4/2010 2:41:15 AM   
OrpheusAgonistes


Posts: 253
Joined: 3/29/2010
Status: offline 		Not looking for anything gruesome or embarrassing--just wondering if anybody else finds themselves feeling a bit Walter Mittyish in their fantasy lives compared to their willingness to be pushed in real life.  In my case, there are several specific activities that partners have suggested and I've been terrified of or revolted by that I often explore in my fantasies.  For me, it isn't that the specific activities are any more appealing in theory than in practice, it's the idea of being forced beyond an established limit by some tormentor of brilliance that gets to me.  As soon as the fantasy is over, I find these activities absolutely repellent again.

I know everybody, by definition, bites off more than they could ever chew in their fantasy life.  I'm just curious how many other people very specifically seem to zero in on activities they'd consider limits in real life and imagine themselves being swept well beyond even these last remaining proscriptions.


_____________________________

What I cannot create, I do not understand.--Feynman

Every sentence I have written here is the product of some disease.-- Wittgenstein
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RE: How often do you transgress your own hard limits in... - 4/4/2010 3:06:44 AM   
jbcurious


Posts: 717
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline 		Almost all of my fantasies are well outside my limits. I definitly have what I refer to as a dark side and that scares me sometimes, hence one of the questions I asked when I first came to this site "are you ever afraid of losing yourself?"

(in reply to OrpheusAgonistes)
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RE: How often do you transgress your own hard limits in... - 4/4/2010 3:08:26 AM   
lally2


Posts: 2621
Joined: 4/16/2009
Status: offline 		quite often - but its in a controlled environment (youre head) the sensations, emotions even the responses of youre fantasy Dominant are all in your head

funnily enough i was thinking about this cross over thing aswell a couple of days ago.

like pain play - i can fantasise about taking the mother of a spanking, paddles, tawse, hairbrush the works and ill get all horny over it and enjoy the O i get from it.  in reality the pain would be appalling (for me) and i wouldnt be floating on a fuzzy O either.  the O is like pavlovs conditioning in a way. years of fantasising about being spanked hard and having a great orgasm from my fantasy has tripped that correllation between the fantasy and pleasure.  i used to be scared that the reality would kill the fantasy, but it hasnt - i can still get off on the fantasy while knowing full well the reality is far far different.

i got an email today inviting me to an abduction, interrogation party - not my kinda thing really, too many variables too many unknown componenets and i wouldnt know the players either and im not into mindfucks id go at them with teeth and claws if they pushed me hard enough and god knows where that would end - but i could fantasise about that quite happily and the fantasy might even almost persuade me to go for it.  hmmm, who knows.

_____________________________

So all I have to do in order to serve him, is to work out exactly how improbable he is, feed that figure into the finite improbability generator, give him a fresh cup of really hot tea ... and turn him on!

(in reply to OrpheusAgonistes)
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RE: How often do you transgress your own hard limits in... - 4/4/2010 3:34:22 AM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: jbcurious

Almost all of my fantasies are well outside my limits. I definitly have what I refer to as a dark side and that scares me sometimes, hence one of the questions I asked when I first came to this site "are you ever afraid of losing yourself?"


But would it really be "losing yourself"..... or finding your true self?

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to jbcurious)
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RE: How often do you transgress your own hard limits in... - 4/4/2010 3:37:21 AM   
Justme696


Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline
quote:

How often do you transgress your own hard limits in your fantasy life?

As A Dom...as soon as they come in to my fantasy...they get out of my hard limits.
Just hoping the partner thinks the same...ofcourse...

_____________________________

~Been there, done that, got the t-shirt

(in reply to Level)
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RE: How often do you transgress your own hard limits in... - 4/4/2010 3:51:55 AM   
jbcurious


Posts: 717
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL:

i got an email today inviting me to an abduction, interrogation party - not my kinda thing really, too many variables too many unknown componenets and i wouldnt know the players either and im not into mindfucks id go at them with teeth and claws if they pushed me hard enough and god knows where that would end - but i could fantasise about that quite happily and the fantasy might even almost persuade me to go for it.  hmmm, who knows.



I had the shock of seeing one of my fantasies written on a post by one of the Doms here on CM. It was my second day here and I was reading through the posts and he was describing what he could do to a sub in a restaurant...he hit on every aspect of my fantasy. It was strange because I have no idea where this fantasy came from...it was just something that had grown and developed over time. I thought it was my own secret fantasy and I was blown away to see it in print.

Needless to say... I'll avoid that Dom...

(in reply to lally2)
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RE: How often do you transgress your own hard limits in... - 4/4/2010 3:56:30 AM   
lally2


Posts: 2621
Joined: 4/16/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: jbcurious


quote:

ORIGINAL:

i got an email today inviting me to an abduction, interrogation party - not my kinda thing really, too many variables too many unknown componenets and i wouldnt know the players either and im not into mindfucks id go at them with teeth and claws if they pushed me hard enough and god knows where that would end - but i could fantasise about that quite happily and the fantasy might even almost persuade me to go for it.  hmmm, who knows.





I had the shock of seeing one of my fantasies written on a post by one of the Doms here on CM. It was my second day here and I was reading through the posts and he was describing what he could do to a sub in a restaurant...he hit on every aspect of my fantasy. It was strange because I have no idea where this fantasy came from...it was just something that had grown and developed over time. I thought it was my own secret fantasy and I was blown away to see it in print.

Needless to say... I'll avoid that Dom...


everything gets plaguerized, even our fantasies - is nothing sacred!!

edited because im a moron.

edited again as a second thought.  these people do come through as genuine, so if anyone is interested in abduction/interrogation and can make kent during june/july let me know on the other side and ill pass youre name over to them.

im just not into role play, my brain gets in the way and tells me it isnt real and the whole thing gets phucked up.

< Message edited by lally2 -- 4/4/2010 4:04:11 AM >

_____________________________

So all I have to do in order to serve him, is to work out exactly how improbable he is, feed that figure into the finite improbability generator, give him a fresh cup of really hot tea ... and turn him on!

(in reply to jbcurious)
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RE: How often do you transgress your own hard limits in... - 4/4/2010 4:20:23 AM   
jbcurious


Posts: 717
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Level


But would it really be "losing yourself"..... or finding your true self?


Level... I realize it is a side I have...but I don't want to become it. During my travels I attended a voodoo ritual and lost myself for several hours...I really don't need to open up that side of myself on a regular basis

(in reply to Level)
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RE: How often do you transgress your own hard limits in... - 4/4/2010 4:25:15 AM   
jbcurious


Posts: 717
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline 		Try some method acting classes... you learn how to over come the brain engagement and it becomes very real.

(in reply to lally2)
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RE: How often do you transgress your own hard limits in... - 4/4/2010 4:27:55 AM   
lally2


Posts: 2621
Joined: 4/16/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: jbcurious

Try some method acting classes... you learn how to over come the brain engagement and it becomes very real.


oooh - id love to do that - thanks - great idea!!

_____________________________

So all I have to do in order to serve him, is to work out exactly how improbable he is, feed that figure into the finite improbability generator, give him a fresh cup of really hot tea ... and turn him on!

(in reply to jbcurious)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: How often do you transgress your own hard limits in... - 4/4/2010 4:41:10 AM   
jbcurious


Posts: 717
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lally2

oooh - id love to do that - thanks - great idea!!

There are so few threads that I can post anything other then questions...I'm glad when I can actually contribute something usefull!


(in reply to lally2)
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RE: How often do you transgress your own hard limits in... - 4/4/2010 6:45:01 AM   
UniqueRaven


Posts: 1237
Joined: 9/30/2009
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline 		Honestly the farther i go as a slave, the more my fantasies actually align with what i might actually do "in real life."

i used to have pretty out-there fantasies. i think the reason i enjoyed them was because of the stigma i placed on them somehow - bad, dark, evil, naughty, dangerous, whatever. But there came a point when i embraced my fantasies and said they are what they are - no fantasy is to be judged any better or worse than any other.

And slowly i began to fantasize about things that most likely will be come "real" much more. It's interesting to me.

i do still have some out-there things - i really enjoy graphic BDSM graphic novellas, and that sort of thing. i find that sort of art very arousing, and not at all real.

Fantasies are a great place to explore something you might do in real life. Just as one person posted on here - if you tell your Dom about them, be ready for them to be used on you in some fashion, hee hee! But that's half the fun, trusting him to possibly play something out in a way that works for you, right?

_____________________________

"My life has no purpose, no direction, no aim, no meaning, and yet I'm happy. I can't figure it out. What am I doing right?" ~Snoopy (Charles Schultz)

My blog is at http://takinghishand.wordpress.com

(in reply to OrpheusAgonistes)
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RE: How often do you transgress your own hard limits in... - 4/4/2010 7:15:54 AM   
OttersSwim


Posts: 2860
Joined: 9/1/2008
Status: offline 		As Robert Browning once said:

"Man's fantasies must exceed his grasp, else what's a heaven for?"

No wait... 


_____________________________

I am on a journey of authenticity and self.

(in reply to UniqueRaven)
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RE: How often do you transgress your own hard limits in... - 4/4/2010 7:24:20 AM   
kiwisub12


Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline 		Does alien abduction count?



Especially the medical experiments?


hehehe

(in reply to OttersSwim)
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RE: How often do you transgress your own hard limits in... - 4/4/2010 7:49:30 AM   
beej


Posts: 145
Joined: 1/24/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OrpheusAgonistes
For me, it isn't that the specific activities are any more appealing in theory than in practice, it's the idea of being forced beyond an established limit by some tormentor of brilliance that gets to me.  As soon as the fantasy is over, I find these activities absolutely repellent again.

I know everybody, by definition, bites off more than they could ever chew in their fantasy life.  I'm just curious how many other people very specifically seem to zero in on activities they'd consider limits in real life and imagine themselves being swept well beyond even these last remaining proscriptions.

i specifically fantasize about my hard limits, but i do so with the intention of letting the air out of the tires. usually if i craft a very elaborate and detailed fantasy and go over it in slow motion a few times, i can find the moment that theoretically makes me flinch, and then i can consider why that is. so far, this kind of fantasizing has not changed how i react to having my limits pushed in practice, but it has improved my willingness to say yes to the unexpected and to having those limits pushed. dunno but once i've imagined in detail the worst that will most likely happen, fear becomes intrigue. i stop getting stuck on "that'll hurt like hell/scare me to death/make me bleed" and start thinking, "how much will it hurt? will i have to grit my teeth? will i start to shake? will i have to hum 'Zipadeedoodah' to get through it?" entertaining the fantasy reminds me that in reality, i'll be with someone caring and skilled that i trust, and thus there is a therapeutic and beneficial effect on the boundaries of my consent. in that way, i advanced fairly quickly with my ex-Dom, and i'm glad i did. i don't recommend "quick" for everybody, but as i'm hardheaded in general, fantasy as therapy helped me to break through to basics of trust.

< Message edited by beej -- 4/4/2010 7:52:15 AM >

(in reply to OrpheusAgonistes)
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RE: How often do you transgress your own hard limits in... - 4/4/2010 7:54:23 AM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline 		Of course, pretty much all of my fantasies go beyond what I would actually do in real life. I have, of course, tried elements of the fantasy with one person, but the extremes of the fantasy and total intensity of it are the reasons they exist in the first place.

(in reply to OrpheusAgonistes)
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RE: How often do you transgress your own hard limits in... - 4/4/2010 8:35:51 AM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		Oh hell yeah!

I do a lot of stuff that peoplehere have as hard limits but I still have hard limits. BSB and I pushed past limits we both had that surprised us both but there were also places we didn't go but were hot wank material.

(in reply to sexyred1)
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RE: How often do you transgress your own hard limits in... - 4/4/2010 3:09:22 PM   
Wheldrake


Posts: 477
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OrpheusAgonistes

I know everybody, by definition, bites off more than they could ever chew in their fantasy life.  I'm just curious how many other people very specifically seem to zero in on activities they'd consider limits in real life and imagine themselves being swept well beyond even these last remaining proscriptions.



Perhaps I'm a bit unusual in that my fantasies tend to be more about situations than activities. Some of the situations are ones that I would be unlikely to consent to in reality - for example, being sold into legally binding slavery or incarcerated in some kind of Stalinist labour camp. But within those situations, I don't usually imagine specific torments or deprivations that would go beyond my real-life hard limits, although I suppose it helps that those limits are pretty broad.

(in reply to OrpheusAgonistes)
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RE: How often do you transgress your own hard limits in... - 4/5/2010 1:58:26 AM   
nephandi


Posts: 4470
Joined: 9/23/2005
From: Cold and magickal Norway in a town near Bergen!
Status: offline 		Greetings

I very seldom if ever transgress my hard limits in my fantasies as I have very few limits and those limits I do have is not something I would find it hot to cross. Sure I go further in my fantasies than I would want to do in real life, and include quite a few things I think it would be physically impossible to do in real life or things I am definitely not ready for. But my hard limits no, I would find no desire in crossing them, soft limits however, yes those I cross often in my fantasies.

I wish you well


_____________________________

Whatever you think you can do or believe you can do, begin it. Action has magic, grace and power in it.--Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Futon torpedoes, make love not war!--Aswad


(in reply to OrpheusAgonistes)
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RE: How often do you transgress your own hard limits in... - 4/7/2010 2:36:22 AM   
slavecube


Posts: 1
Joined: 12/18/2009
Status: offline 		What fantasy of yours did the Dom post about?

(in reply to jbcurious)
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