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Am I a man?????? - 4/4/2010 11:00:16 PM

SexySea

Posts: 36
Joined: 8/2/2007
Status: offline

I just had something wierd happen to me that's never happened in the 3 years I've been on Collarme.com. I had some "Dom" ask for immediate proof that I was a woman. Even though he doesn't have a picture which shows him on his profile he expected me to turn on my camera and prove I'm an XX. I was at the park with the dog and I've been cleanning all day and look like crap (which I explained) and said that I would be happy to turn on the cam after a shower but he insisted upon it immediately (read-tried to bully me) which I refused. Would you turn on the cam if you looked like shit, were all sweaty and had your hair in a pony tail knowing that the Dom would think that you looked like that all the time? I want to always present myself in the best light possible to a potential Dom. No one else has ever asked me this before. Maybe he got burned, I don't know.
So I ask you this, isn't my profile and picture enough for a first conversation? I don't even know if I like this guy enough to talk to him again and he wouldn't provide a picture until he saw mine. That made me a little nervous. I don't like the idea of him seeing everything that's going on in the background when I don't even know who he is. Should I always sit in front of my computer in an evening dress and full make-up? Should I provide references from the other people on this site that I've met in person? I think that this parinoia in a first conversation is a little wierd and somewhat homophobic. Maybe he's been burned but whatever happen to trust and understanding that a woman just doesn't want to be on camera looking like the dog's breakfast?

Post #: 1

RE: Am I a man?????? - 4/4/2010 11:10:08 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

The question isn't are you a man. The question is why are you being silly enough to question yourself for not falling for an obvious ploy?

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to SexySea)

Post #: 2

RE: Am I a man?????? - 4/4/2010 11:32:27 PM

switch2please

Posts: 494
Joined: 12/5/2008
Status: offline

I've been accused of being a man as well. It makes me giggle. Very un-manly.

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 3

RE: Am I a man?????? - 4/4/2010 11:39:37 PM

DCWoody

Posts: 1401
Joined: 10/27/2006
Status: offline

Given the positive deluge of fake women on the site, immediate webcamming is an understandable policy in my view.....however if they're being an arse about it, like him.....or insisting on immediate nudity too...ignore them and good riddance.....answer to your underlined question....for the vast majority of people it certainly should be, but....it's understandable that some are more cautious.

(in reply to switch2please)

Post #: 4

RE: Am I a man?????? - 4/4/2010 11:41:06 PM

myotherself

Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline

yes, I've been accused of being a man many, many times! If I like them, I send them a 'nilla head and shoulders shot, but I expect one back.

No pic, no more conversation.

_____________________________

There's nowt so queer as folk

(in reply to switch2please)

Post #: 5

RE: Am I a man?????? - 4/5/2010 12:33:26 AM

mastFOX

Posts: 14
Joined: 7/27/2009
From: hollywood area
Status: offline

you were right to do what you did . the guy needed to have some respect for you. no respect ,no love.

(in reply to myotherself)

Post #: 6

RE: Am I a man?????? - 4/5/2010 12:49:42 AM

dreamerdreaming

Posts: 2839
Status: offline

I'd tell him to go fuck himself. It could have been a 13 year-old boy.

Even if he was a grown man, he's an asshole. Block and delete are your friends.

Your only mistake was in trying to explain your reasons. That is wasted time. You do not owe a random online stranger any explanations of any kind.

_____________________________

Download SLAVE LOVER. Explicit BDSM porn, with a plot! A love story, on a FemDom planet! http://www.amazon.com/Slave-Lover-Chronicles-Book-ebook/dp/B0031ERBLI/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1261973416&sr=1

(in reply to SexySea)

Post #: 7

RE: Am I a man?????? - 4/5/2010 2:10:06 AM

jbcurious

Posts: 717
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline

I had a guy try to bully me into giving him my phone number,.because he doesn't like chat.

What ever the request, webcam,phone number etc. if they show impatience or bullying I take that as a red flag. If they're that way after one message can you imagine what they'd be like in real life?

The same goes for the ones who's first message is all sexual content, they're showing no respect.

I did have one yesterday that made me laugh... His first message was... Chains, blindfolds, blah, blah, blah... I asked if he also approached women on the street and asked if they wanted to fuck?

His reply... "No, but you go to the hardware store for milk"

Gotta admit, he made me laugh.

_____________________________

'Smile... it's the second best thing to do with your lips.'

I have an explosive personality...

(in reply to dreamerdreaming)

Post #: 8

RE: Am I a man?????? - 4/5/2010 2:17:20 AM

lally2

Posts: 2621
Joined: 4/16/2009
Status: offline

yep me too, some squit asked me if i was real and that he had a web cam and could i prove it. i told him i dont need to prove myself as myself to anyone and he responded by saying 'bye boy' - so i just wrote back and said 'bye wanker looking for a wank' and then blocked him.

if people are going to mistrust everyone even when theyre photos are clearly homespun and quirky then they can bog off.

dont take it personally, jerks abound everywhere. delete and block, as they say.

_____________________________

So all I have to do in order to serve him, is to work out exactly how improbable he is, feed that figure into the finite improbability generator, give him a fresh cup of really hot tea ... and turn him on!

(in reply to jbcurious)

Post #: 9

RE: Am I a man?????? - 4/5/2010 2:38:40 AM

crazyml

Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SexySea

So I ask you this, isn't my profile and picture enough for a first conversation?

It certainly would be for me, but I do understand the paranoia that some people must feel.

quote:

I don't even know if I like this guy enough to talk to him again and he wouldn't provide a picture until he saw mine. That made me a little nervous.

I agree - that's sketchy. If someone wants another picture, or for you to cam the very least they can do is pony up a pic of
themselves.

I think you were absolutely right to do what you did, I thnk your instincts were on the button.

That said - there really are a lot of fakers on this site. I think I'm fairly good at spotting genuine people, but sometimes I do get a tiny bit suspicious (if someone seems too good to be true...)so occasionally I'll suggest we cam briefly just to prove that I do look like my profile picture. Now there are all sorts of good reasons why "now" may not be the best of times (and being out walking the dog is a pretty darn good one) and I'd never harass someone - but say on three separate occasions it was difficult to cam .... now that starts to be a little sketchy...

Re the other contributions..

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

The question isn't are you a man. The question is why are you being silly enough to question yourself for not falling for an obvious ploy?

I'm curious to know what the "ploy" was, as it wasn't obvious to me.

quote:

ORIGINAL: DCWoody

Given the positive deluge of fake women on the site, immediate webcamming is an understandable policy in my view.....however if they're being an arse about it, like him.....or insisting on immediate nudity too...ignore them and good riddance.....answer to your underlined question....for the vast majority of people it certainly should be, but....it's understandable that some are more cautious.

I completely agree!

quote:

ORIGINAL: myotherself

yes, I've been accused of being a man many, many times! If I like them, I send them a 'nilla head and shoulders shot, but I expect one back.

No pic, no more conversation.

This is exactly what I do. The fakers are likely to struggle to find a matching nilla pic to go with the set of nawty ones that they've pilfered from some site.

(in reply to SexySea)

Post #: 10

RE: Am I a man?????? - 4/5/2010 3:42:52 AM

MsStarlett

Posts: 1879
Joined: 12/23/2007
Status: offline

Worst scam in the lifestyle. "I'm a Dom! Show me your *vulgar word of your choice* RIGHT NOW! If you don't, you're not a True Sub!"

Translation: I'm a horney net bastard who wants free porn on demand. I think women are stupid enough to fall for this.

Baby, don't fall for that one - EVAH! True Doms respect their girls far more than that.

_____________________________

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.
It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed,
the hands acquire shakes, the shakes become a warning,
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

(in reply to crazyml)

Post #: 11

RE: Am I a man?????? - 4/5/2010 3:57:26 AM

Level

Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: myotherself

yes, I've been accused of being a man many, many times! If I like them, I send them a 'nilla head and shoulders shot, but I expect one back.

No pic, no more conversation.

You're too cute to be a guy, little boing boing.

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to myotherself)

Post #: 12

RE: Am I a man?????? - 4/5/2010 4:21:09 AM

Focus50

Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: switch2please

I've been accused of being a man as well. It makes me giggle. Very un-manly.

Whoa, with THAT outrageously sensual pic?????

It ain't all roses though; I'm getting pasted by the ladies for being a man (welllll, male) in another thread. lol

Focus.

_____________________________

Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

(in reply to switch2please)

Post #: 13

RE: Am I a man?????? - 4/5/2010 4:43:48 AM

myotherself

Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

You're too cute to be a guy, little boing boing.

dammit Level ...don't go spreading that around or my street-cred will go through the floor!

I am a big, bad subby biotch...hear me ROAR!!!!!

*coff*

not too convincing, huh?

_____________________________

There's nowt so queer as folk

(in reply to Level)

Post #: 14

RE: Am I a man?????? - 4/5/2010 5:17:34 AM

ShoreBound149

Posts: 622
Joined: 7/2/2009
Status: offline

Next time it happens......and it will

SendThisPic

and then block the douche....

_____________________________

"People don't think it be like it is, but it do."

Oscar Gamble

(in reply to SexySea)

Post #: 15

RE: Am I a man?????? - 4/5/2010 5:47:13 AM

kanina

Posts: 147
Joined: 11/19/2009
Status: offline

it happens to me too... they are trying to get lucky and see something that if they normally ask for it they wouldn´t see...

(in reply to ShoreBound149)

Post #: 16

RE: Am I a man?????? - 4/5/2010 6:01:16 AM

thishereboi

Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline

I don't own a cam and refuse to get one. I had a domme cmail me and demand I start up my cam. I replied that I didn't have one and was told I had so many days to get one or I wouldn't be able to chat with her. I pointed out that I didn't know her and had no desire to correct that. She said I was a man and blocked me.

Personally I think it's great when they show you what asshats they are, before you waste any time finding out on your own.

_____________________________

"Sweetie, you're wasting your gum" .. Albert

This here is the boi formerly known as orfunboi

(in reply to SexySea)

Post #: 17

RE: Am I a man?????? - 4/5/2010 6:04:15 AM

Jeffff

Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline

I keep trying to convince Lat that I am a flat chested woman with a HUGE clit.

That's not working either

_____________________________

"If you don't live it, it won't come out your horn." Charlie Parker

(in reply to SexySea)

Post #: 18

RE: Am I a man?????? - 4/5/2010 6:07:45 AM

CynthiaWVirginia

Posts: 1915
Joined: 2/28/2010
From: West Virginia, USA
Status: offline

SexySea, those men are more "paranoid" than even I am.
I know I'm odd, but I don't give out pictures anymore and I don't ask to see any.

(Tries to imagine herself demanding a nekkie webcam complete with dangly bits...) LOL

"Should I provide references from the other people on this site that I've met in person?"
I wouldn't. If someone would lie about their sex then what's to stop them from making different profiles and using them as references, etc. Someone could probably brew up quite a longstanding romance that way, between the computer at their office and the one in their home...then break up...both "people" would then be counted as real and experienced and in need of comfort. And a reference for each other.

Maybe he's been burned but whatever happen to trust and understanding that a woman just doesn't want to be on camera looking like the dog's breakfast?
Then I guess he wouldn't meet your needs either.  I feel sorry for whoever has been burned in the past...but honestly, a little patience for the first two weeks of chatting would be nice. He could always ask if you would vanilla cam and maybe play Simon Says, LOL, until he's sure he's seeing the person he's really chatting with, and not something pre-recorded and stolen from somewhere else on the internet.

"I don't like the idea of him seeing everything that's going on in the background when I don't even know who he is."
If you want to web cam with someone without having to worry about this, can you get one of those screens behind you? When I shared a one room apartment years ago, I used to change clothes behind a pretty screen that could fold up.

With walking your dog, if the main thing you're worried about is your hair getting damp and funny looking, I'd suggest using a blow dryer for a minute or two to dry it back up. I used to know exotic dancers who did that so their hair would stay nice, each time after dancing on stage

(in reply to SexySea)

Post #: 19

RE: Am I a man?????? - 4/5/2010 6:12:38 AM

GraciousLady

Posts: 529
Joined: 7/7/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SexySea

I just had something wierd happen to me that's never happened in the 3 years I've been on Collarme.com. I had some "Dom" ask for immediate proof that I was a woman. Even though he doesn't have a picture which shows him on his profile he expected me to turn on my camera and prove I'm an XX. I was at the park with the dog and I've been cleanning all day and look like crap (which I explained) and said that I would be happy to turn on the cam after a shower but he insisted upon it immediately (read-tried to bully me) which I refused. Would you turn on the cam if you looked like shit, were all sweaty and had your hair in a pony tail knowing that the Dom would think that you looked like that all the time? I want to always present myself in the best light possible to a potential Dom. No one else has ever asked me this before. Maybe he got burned, I don't know.
So I ask you this, isn't my profile and picture enough for a first conversation? I don't even know if I like this guy enough to talk to him again and he wouldn't provide a picture until he saw mine. That made me a little nervous. I don't like the idea of him seeing everything that's going on in the background when I don't even know who he is. Should I always sit in front of my computer in an evening dress and full make-up? Should I provide references from the other people on this site that I've met in person? I think that this parinoia in a first conversation is a little wierd and somewhat homophobic. Maybe he's been burned but whatever happen to trust and understanding that a woman just doesn't want to be on camera looking like the dog's breakfast?

If your having respect for yourself and any potential owner is not to his lower class likings then you are well rid of him so early on. your behaviour spoke well for the type of person you are and the standards you can offer a potential owner.

(in reply to SexySea)

Post #: 20

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