quote:

ORIGINAL: bondmaid123

There are definitely stereotypes everywhere, including "the lifestyle".  People obviously react differently depending on what is being said.  I've noticed that there are some which really set my teeth on edge, though, and I'm curious to see what trigger's other people's irritation.

For me:

"Slaves are not permitted any opinions except those granted them by their Masters". This echoes the "Slave = Doormat" paradigm, and....  Seriously?  WTF? Where did THAT come from?  I actually am not so convinced there are a lot of Masters/Doms/Owners who think this, though.  I seem to hear this load of rubbish preached by slaves/subbies who are trying to play the "my cunt is tighter than your cunt" game and show how TWUELY SWABISH they are.  Regardless, it makes me want to punch them in the throat.

you cant prevent someone from having an opinion - opinions pop into everyones head all of the time.  what i think you might mean is that a slave is not allowed to voice her opinion (without permission first) and that opinion may be heard but not neccessarily acted upon - and that does happens in many Ms and even some Ds relationships i believe - and ive followed that expectation quite happily and ive been told i have a teentight cunt - so feel free to bitch slap me

"Being called a slut is a turn on."  This is actually something I've been working on in my head for a couple of months now.  My current master finds the word "slut" very appealing.  I have very, very negative connotations associated with it.  I thought that perhaps in time I'd adjust my perspective, but I'm finding that it's actually not getting any better (and yeah, before anybody jumps down my throat, it's on my "things to talk about when we're in the same room without kids" list).  I ~am~ sexually uninhibited, but I do not like humiliation ~at all~ and that's what triggers in my head when I hear the word.  (I'm not saying anybody who likes humiliation is a moron, or anything like that.  It's just absolutely NOT something I enjoy at all.  In fact, it's likely to cause me to avoid whatever prompted the humiliation... hence the importance of having that chat with the Jarl-type guy. ;)

if any guy writes to me and calls me bitch, cunt, slut, whore before we've even reached a first name basis i tell them to fuck off -  - see i do have opinions

"You're a slave/sub.  You must like pain!"    ~~small primal scream moment~~   Ok I feel better now. ;)  I can't count the number of times that I've had this conversation, and at least 1/3 of the time I know it's not sinking in.  Now... do I recognize pain as a useful tool... yes.  I do.  Do I *enjoy* it?  Hell the fuck no.  No, I do not.  No, I don't want to be the test dummy for your new flogger/cane/dragon-anything.  Etc etc.
 
the assumption is what ticks me off - oi, what happened to the font! - i had a guy send me a pic of a flayed back and bum and thought id be happy to receive it -  not so, he was quite surprised by my somewhat pissed rsvp.
 
 


So... I'm wondering what "Common BDSM Stereotypes" drive you to distraction?

quote:

ORIGINAL: bondmaid123

lally - I agree.  You can't prevent opinions from existing.  But I have heard on more than one occassion (sadly) "you will not have your own opinions" or "a real slave only has the opinions her Master permits her" or some variation on the theme, which is perhaps possible with enough brainwashing and abuse....?  but for the vast majority of people is a false expectation and a load of bullshit, in my opinion. ;)

quote:

ORIGINAL: bondmaid123
lally - I agree.  You can't prevent opinions from existing.  But I have heard on more than one occassion (sadly) "you will not have your own opinions" or "a real slave only has the opinions her Master permits her" or some variation on the theme, which is perhaps possible with enough brainwashing and abuse....?  but for the vast majority of people is a false expectation and a load of bullshit, in my opinion. ;)

quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527
Well, in a sense, this is like Carol and I. Carol, just as lally said, certainly has opinions about pretty much everything. However, when I want her to have a new opinion, well... then she does. So I suppose you could say that she only has the opinions I permit.

That view, of course, doesn't really explain what's going on and it is certainly not brainwashing or abuse. I often think these things get lost in the wash of words like "power" and "control". Carol looks to me for guidance. As such, I am highly influential with her. If I tell her, "You're looking at this situation wrong, here's how you should see it" then she's going to work her viewpoint around to that new view. How long that takes and how successful it is depends greatly on how "core" the original opinion/viewpoint was.

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ORIGINAL: bondmaid123

"Being called a slut is a turn on." 

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ORIGINAL: Andalusite
When I was with my previous submissive, I often did have to draw his opinions out, or on rare occasion, outright order him to express them. I do think that *some* submissives and slaves feel that it is "topping from the bottom" or otherwise unsubmissive to express their likes and dislikes and thoughts.

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ORIGINAL: kanina

to me i truly hate that slave are associated with doormats, that they are whores, that they should obey to everyone, that they have no personality, etc etc...