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"Hey baby" - 4/6/2010 4:33:18 PM

lusciouslips19

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"Hey Baby"

I have always felt uncomfortable by this approach. Yet men seem to do it anyway. It seems disrespectful in overtones and undertones. I love being called baby by a lover. But as an appraoch or cat call it feels demeaning and not flattering at all.

How many other women feel this way and why dont men approach more respectfully and gentlemanly?

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RE: "Hey baby" - 4/6/2010 4:40:38 PM

Level

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lushy, not everyone sees it as disrespectful, or even ungentlemanly, male and female, as to the "why?".

I don't do it, unless I know the woman quite well, whether she's a partner or not.

There was a woman that came in the office not long ago, and as she and I talked, she called me baby, at least in every 3 or 4 sentences; I felt like asking her if she was a pole dancer.

< Message edited by Level -- 4/6/2010 4:43:34 PM >

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RE: "Hey baby" - 4/6/2010 4:42:59 PM

Smutmonger

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I like the inspirational approach. We all have a thin spot in the armor.

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RE: "Hey baby" - 4/6/2010 4:48:05 PM

lusciouslips19

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

lushy, not everyone sees it as disrespectful, or even ungentlemanly, male and female, as to the "why?".

I don't do it, unless I know the woman quite well, whether she's a partner or not.

There was a woman that came in the office not long ago, and as she and I talked, she called me baby, at least in every 3 or 4 sentences; I felt like asking her if she was a pole dancer.

I think a mans best bet to score is to be a gentleman. If Im pressured, I recoil. If you are a gentleman my panties seem to come off on their own? Why dont the bone heads know this????

I wouldnt like it either Level. But I do understand her appreciation for a good piece of man-meat!

< Message edited by lusciouslips19 -- 4/6/2010 4:49:31 PM >

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Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

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RE: "Hey baby" - 4/6/2010 4:50:36 PM

tazzygirl

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i have a bad habit of calling people "baby" "honey" or "darlin". part of growing up southern. i mean nothing sexual by these words. now, if i know the man... well...

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RE: "Hey baby" - 4/6/2010 4:53:20 PM

DrkJourney

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When I get those I usually just say something like: " I think you sent this to me by mistake" Then I wish them a good day.

Some don't return the email but some do, usually asking why I would think that...that's when I tell them, "you couldn't possibly be addressing me since we've never spoken before, and that greeting is reserved for those that someone is familiar with"

They either don't return that email or they apologise. Hadn't had anyone get rude yet....but if I did I would simply block and move on....lol

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RE: "Hey baby" - 4/6/2010 4:56:13 PM

Thadius

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quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

"Hey Baby"

I have always felt uncomfortable by this approach. Yet men seem to do it anyway. It seems disrespectful in overtones and undertones. I love being called baby by a lover. But as an appraoch or cat call it feels demeaning and not flattering at all.

How many other women feel this way and why dont men approach more respectfully and gentlemanly?

You have to admit, it beats the hell out of "On your knees, slut."

In all seriousness, I guess the wording that followed the "Hey baby" would say more about the manners than that greeting. As has been mentioned, depending on what region one is in, it is almost customary to be referred to as hun, sweetheart, babe, doll, etc... While I can understand the apprehension some may have to being addressed as such, doesn't that say more about the recipient than the the speaker?

Just something to think about.

I wish you well,
Thadius

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RE: "Hey baby" - 4/6/2010 4:57:18 PM

jbcurious

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I think it's more about the tone they use and body language... If they shout across the street 'HEY BABY" while performing a wanking motion... then no, I'm not to impressed.

On the other hand, when I was in Mexico a guy boldly eyed me top to toe and with a wicked grin muttered ohhh baby... I had a passionate 2 week romance with him...

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RE: "Hey baby" - 4/6/2010 5:04:11 PM

tazzygirl

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Oh Baby... im jealous!

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Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

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RE: "Hey baby" - 4/6/2010 5:06:41 PM

sirsholly

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I find it very disrespectful coming from a stranger. It always sounds like a bad pick-up line.

But...i am guilty as well. Where as I see a term such as "baby" to be in poor taste when used prior to an introduction, I have a habit of calling those I know or just recently met "Darlin'"

I guess I spent too much time in Texas.

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RE: "Hey baby" - 4/6/2010 5:10:04 PM

littlewonder

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Men around here do that...hey baby, sweety, hon, cutie....

Imo it's demeaning and rude and I tend to ignore such men.

Now in a relationship I tend to enjoy such terms.

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RE: "Hey baby" - 4/6/2010 5:11:43 PM

Vendaval

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I think the meaning of the phrase needs to be considered in light of custom and the general situation. In an office work environment, it is in very poor taste. In many bars and restaurants, you will hear the women using it with customers as a term of affection.

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RE: "Hey baby" - 4/6/2010 5:13:08 PM

OrpheusAgonistes

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quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

"Hey Baby"

I have always felt uncomfortable by this approach. Yet men seem to do it anyway. It seems disrespectful in overtones and undertones. I love being called baby by a lover. But as an appraoch or cat call it feels demeaning and not flattering at all.

How many other women feel this way and why dont men approach more respectfully and gentlemanly?

I do this all the time. Nothing quite like slippin' on a nice pair of Z Cavs, gassin' up the Camaro, sprayin' myself down with enough Drakkar Noir to choke a household pet and headin' out on the town. Crank up the Quiet Riot. Drive into the sun so I can wear my mirrored aviator shades, and scream out at every pretty girl I drive past "HEY BABY!"

The first reason a lot of guys do this is that the above is only a slight parody of the weird version of manliness and machismo that hordes of men, even reasonably bright ones, buy into. It's what they think is expected.

The second reason guys do it is because it works sometimes. Maybe not on everyone. But it works just often enough that to guys who can half-way pull it off it feels like the most viable approach. The reason it works, in part, probably is because it's so overtly crass and borderline offensive. I know a surprising number of smart, attractive women who are weirdly amused by total, unapologetic throwback behavior.

The third, and rarer, category of guys are men for whom it just comes naturally. I'm not one of them. If I try anything approaching "Hey baby" it sounds, at best, snarky and ironic and everyone within fifteen yards wants to punch me in my smug face. But there are guys with a certain kind of natural swagger. It's who they are and it works for them. Added note: Every guy in the first category believes he falls into the last category. And that's funny and sad and beautiful.

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RE: "Hey baby" - 4/6/2010 5:19:44 PM

jbcurious

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Ohhhhh baby... I love your way with words...

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RE: "Hey baby" - 4/6/2010 5:22:54 PM

barelynangel

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I am not sure everyone defines gentlemen the same. And the way most women i see demand men approach them and such -- to me that is just way to politically correct for me. I have had men call me baby all my life. Strangers, people i know, friends etc etc etc. I have had men whistle at me when i walk by all my life. I have had strange men approach me smelling my neck lol asking what i am wearing many many times. And i have had strangers do everything from giving me a tennis bracelet to a poem to get my attention in a crowd. So someone saying hey baby as a greeting because they don't know my name, has led in the past to some very good results. So i have had men greet me and try and get my attention in many many inventive and not so inventive ways in my life. Hey Baby is the LEAST umm unusual or irritating of them lol. I agree with others if its wankers screaming it across the street while feeling themselves up, i wouldn't appreciate them using my NAME in that situation either not because what they call be but because they chose to give ME their attention in that delivery.

I guess to me its all in the delivery. How its delivered is how i will react to same. But no, i don't see it as demeaning to me, when a Man is attempting to use it in such a manner, i see it as a reflection of them -- not myself. To me, people sometimes look for things that they want to see as rude or demeaning to women and to me, that's just too exhausting.

i take it on a case by case basis, delivery means a lot. But Men have been calling me baby all my life and if i took everytime one of them did as rude or demeaning to me that would just be stupid and me looking to find something to bitch about to them.

I can only be demeaned if i allow someone to demean me. Therefore, if someone is attempting to be demeaning with hey baby, they will be very disappointed because to me, their delivery and reason for using it is on them -- not me. I tend to give guys the benefit of the doubt when they use different forms of address. Like i said earlier, not everyone's idea of being a gentleman is the same.

I am more likely to get irritated they are trying to get my attention when i may not be in the mood to give it, than the way the use to get it.

angel

< Message edited by barelynangel -- 4/6/2010 5:31:38 PM >

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RE: "Hey baby" - 4/6/2010 5:28:07 PM

BrokenSaint

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I always saw it as pretty lacking in anything other than a satirical context. I will however use it extremely frequently if I am making fun of someone who would be the type to use it. Often they do not realize this. This sparks even more hilarity, and tests my resolve in keeping a straight face.

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RE: "Hey baby" - 4/6/2010 5:47:31 PM

DrkJourney

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You can never spend too much time in Texas....lol

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RE: "Hey baby" - 4/6/2010 5:54:42 PM

lusciouslips19

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Hey Baby

_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to DrkJourney)

Post #: 18

RE: "Hey baby" - 4/6/2010 5:56:13 PM

DomImus

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I met a lot of women in my bar band days and a pretty fair number of them were partial to using the "Hey baby" or "Hey honey" or "Hey darlin" approach themselves. I can't recall ever having been put off by it. It has a certain air of intimacy and I guess I am just not put off by that - particularly when it is coming from someone I'd very much enjoy getting intimate with. Of course, we're talking about the deep south here where women are not nearly as uptight as their northern counterparts. If I did not want to get to know her better how classy of a come on she had was totally irrelevant. If I did then I was perfectly ok with "Hi. Wanna fuck?"

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RE: "Hey baby" - 4/6/2010 5:59:54 PM

lusciouslips19

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I think coming from a woman to a man is different as men and woman are different. This was about "hey baby" used on a woman. I'm not suprised you would find it flattering.

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Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to DomImus)

Post #: 20

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