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LadyHugs -> RE: a pretender Domme! (4/8/2010 9:02:35 AM)
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Femasoslave;
Not all dominants "dominate" the same.
There are differences between a fetish dominant and a Sadist, as there are differences between a Master/Mistress-slave interaction.
All Dominants as do slaves, must start somewhere. Each has their own flavor of what dominance/submission means to them. Some do this TPE more with mental and emotions than physical.
As far as being a pretender, every 'what-to-be' has to put up with that label/stereotype until they have a wider span of experiences. Want-to-be is not the same as a "Wanna-be." Want-to-bes do tend to make an effort to learn at any and all opportunities. Even if to command a slave/sub/servant to give them sexual satisfaction in a physical and sadistic manner. This person could have been exploring the idea if she was a SWITCH.
If there were mis-hits, as you deemed them to be. You could have halted the scene as to bring your Master in and give her impromptu lessons.
It is easy to be very impatient and judge novices harshly. It has been a while perhaps, to remember how things were when your Master and yourself began.
It is unfortunate that the community at large, has huge expectations of novices and quickly cut off at the knees if any are beginning and growing into their skills. These skills are not automatic. With the shortage of well practiced and well rounded Sadists, perhaps the opportunity of bringing up a potential Safe Sadist was lossed.
It is rare to find a slave and masochist rolled up into one. Masochist shouldn't pretend to be 'slave like' if it isn't there in the intentions. Masochists manipulate in a subserviant manner as to charge up the Sadist per se; this unique S&M interaction in one aspect of the relationship switches into a Dom/sub or M/s relationship outside of the corporal. But, until someone educates the novice ...none will see it.
I do agree with the many posters, that because something turned sour for you as an individual; that does not mean that person is fake and or a pretender.
When I do a scene with a masochist -- I dress for comfort and for skills used. Clothes don't make a Sadist/Dominant/person -- nor do brands, tats and piercings make a slave or masochist.
All I can see before me, is the missed opportunity of education. Takes selfless people to teach others in the arts of corporal and torture.
Just some thoughts.
Lady Hugs
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