cassandria
Posts: 86
Joined: 6/6/2010
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quote:
1. If you identify as a slave, then do you interract with everyone in that way, I don't mean at the mall, I mean anyone involved in this lifestyle? I guess this question would go for a slave that is not owned.
I do identify as a slave, and interact with everyone in a fairly submissive manner, I would think. I try to keep a concious mindset of who and what I am at all times, knowing that the respect I give and the way I interact with others reflects on my own character...and because I am unowned, I never know who is watching as well. Being polite, courteous, helpful when the opportunity arises, maybe a little shy...this is probably what you would see if I was out in public at a venue with people in this lifestyle. I hope. :)
Like anyone I can have my "off" days, but I really do try to stifle those, swallow down comments I might be tempted to make, things like that. In my experience living as a slave, it's those times that tend to test one's submission, and it's a good excercise to keep that in check.
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If you were at an event for example and someone who identified as Dominant, male or female, started telling you what to do, do you listen?
Yes, I probably would, if I was attending alone, if it was a male Dominant - I don't submit to women, I see them as equals - did I mention I don't attend events alone, so that I can avoid this issue? It confuses me as to who I should listen to or not listen to, so it's a lot easier for me to hand that temporarily over to another Dominant for the evening. Too many Dominant voices in one room makes for one flustered cassie..
I really, really abhor conflict so try to do my best to avoid it well beforehand. Of course, if it's done in jest then I tend to play along and tease right back - it's all in good fun sometimes and I'm not immune to teasing, and quite possibly adding my own creative 'twist' to what's been asked of me ;)
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Do you say, I'm not your slave? Does it depend on your attraction to that person? Does it depend on their gender?
I assume that they know I'm not their slave, to begin with...honestly, I can't see this situation as being an issue..I've never come across anyone in the lifestyle who would be this presumptive nor rude. Playful? Perhaps, but even that I think they'd be careful to ensure that I was okay with it..I could be under consideration to a Master, who knows....I'm not their slave, I'm not there to fulfill the needs or desires of whomever flags me down.
Once upon a time there was an unspoken rule that you would never touch or command a slave who wasn't yours...in some circles, this still exists. I delight in protocol and love no better headspace than when I'm allowed to relish in my slavery, but it's not directed towards anyone who comes alone to utilize it. Not that I'm not able to give it - I can give whatever I'm told to give - but when there's nobody directing me, nobody enforcing His ownership over me, then I tend to keep my charms to myself, so to speak, most of the time.
Sometimes I'll ask/be offered from a Dominant friend to basically be 'his' for the evening, to attend an event or something along those lines. I find it unsettles me, although I like to socialize with like-minded people...I just don't seem to be able to 'bottom' without strong emotional bonds in place. I can do it, but it takes me a few days to sort my head out, and while I miss the attention from a Master, and this temporarily feeds that, it's nowhere near the same and I find myself struggling with tears and the like afterwards. Any kind of play (okay, to be fair, harder play) tends to create a strong drop hours afterwards and I find that sense of vulnerability, lack of belonging etc to be emphasized when left on my own afterwards.
I guess I'm a one-to-one kinda gal, and whatever itches I yearn to have scratched are better left alone until I can beg my own Master to take care of them.
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2. Do slaves have hard limits? This is a very general question to ask an entire group of people, some may, some may not, but overall, wouldn't the limit itself make you submissive and not a slave?
I have strong fears about things like being cut, branded...things like out of a saw movie, you could say lol...just like Carol.
Ultimately when I bind my life to a Master, I look for a man who values me as a healthy, whole person, with Him...and thinks carefully before entering into areas that may alter what he currently owns and enjoys. The word "trust" becomes huge here.
Do I have limits? Yes, right now I do, although I would probably describe them as "horrific fears that give me nightmares that would frighten very big sharks".
Would my Master (future) listen to them? I doubt it would be understood that he had to "obey" my limits, as such. I wouldn't want him to...I would want him to have the same kinds of limitations on what he was willing to do to me, as a man, as my Master.
I would want him to value his property in such a way that she could be with him for a very long time, happy and healthily serving Him. That's what I would want. That's what I do want. Do I know what would accomplish that in the best way? I have ideas, and I'll willingly share those with him...but ultimately it's his call.
Would he take my fears into consideration, having assessed for himself whether it's safe to push past those, or keep them in place? If he doesn't, I fail to see how he can call himself my Master.
In a way this is kinda a silly question to me...because this is something sorted out over time, as the relationship deepens. As he learns of me, he assesses and sometimes those "limits" disappear over time.
I don't even know if I've really needed to have this conversation, in the past...because it was simple common sense. Then again, what's common sense to me perhaps isn't to everyone.
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I am curious about the Master or Mistress/Slave dynamic, since obviously, no one is really a slave, at anytime, you could say, I don't want to do this anymore and take a walk. Plus, it's always been my belief that the Submissives/Slaves actually have all the power (power may not be the right word), anything done to you against your will now turns into a real life abusive relationship which you should run from. So it comes down to, you may lose your Master or Mistress if you don't obey, or catch a beating that you don't really want or some other form of punishement, but the punishment is still agreed upon at some point in the relationship.
I spent years in the Middle East, serving as a slave. I have served as a slave here, in Canada. While I prefer the environment that society gives in support of slavery overseas, the feelings I have here in Canada, serving, are no different.
Once there is a firm ownership in place, I am bound by my own need to serve as a slave. No laws enter into those feelings, or that sense of security, or loss I would feel without it.
No punishment that I could be given would ever come close to the sense of loss I would feel...and have felt...at the loss of my Master.
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I totally understand submissives, actually, there seem to be more submissives than Dominants, I understand why this is. But, the slave mind-set is a bit lost on me and I really am interested in the concept, not because I want to be one, but because I may want one when I feel I am ready, is there a store? Just kidding. Seriously, I do want to understand and may have more questions, one thing at a time.
I appreciate any help.
I'm so glad that you understand a submissive nature, because many times I'm still trying to figure out my own and why I must be the way that I am lol..there are times when I struggle with these longings and needs and desires that don't seem to fit into a more feminist society as we live in, and I don't necessarily see who I am as being an asset in that respect.....but I do think there is a difference between the two words - slave and submissive. As a slave, I submit. I'm not sure if you can slave, as a submissive?
I would welcome hearing more of your understanding, as I really have appreciated your questions.
I still identify as a slave although I am unowned, because I'm not sure of another term that describes me more accurately. I'm of the mind that a slave is a slave, whether she's owned or unowned..she's simply an unhappy one (overall) when she's unowned. And I would hope that for myself, and the other slave who have responded who are in similar position that we wouldn't be able to respond to your questions as unowned slaves for long. Perhaps by then you'll have new questions? :))
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RE: Question for Slaves - 
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