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RE: What do submissive gestures actually mean to you? - 4/9/2010 2:54:04 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

for us the very few protocols we do have are reminders of my place with Him. Calling him Sir or Master reminds me that he is not my equal. Kneeling reminds me I am his subject, his servant, an object for his use.

So yeah I'd say they play a pretty important part with us.

(in reply to jbcurious)

Post #: 21

RE: What do submissive gestures actually mean to you? - 4/9/2010 8:13:19 PM

kiwisub12

Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline

My Sir and i have a few protocols, and they aren't onerous. It took me quite a while to get used to calling him Sir. Now, it feels so natural that i sometimes call him Sir in front of my adult kids.
This is the first bdsm relationship that i have ever been in, so i really don't have anything to compare it to, but for me, protocol is nice but not necessary - i would be submissive to my Sir even if i called him Joe, or even late to dinner.

I think of protocol as window dressing - it looks nice and hints at what is inside the store, but it really isn't necessary for our relationship to continue. Of course, i love serving Sir his coffee on his tray, and seeing the smile in his eyes when he sees me.

So, even though it isn't strictly necessary, it adds a certain zing, or flavour to our relationship.

(in reply to littlewonder)

Post #: 22

RE: What do submissive gestures actually mean to you? - 4/9/2010 8:56:56 PM

DWCskitten

Posts: 199
Joined: 3/2/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

quote:

ORIGINAL: DWCskitten

~Fast Reply~
Master Sir is very big on protocol, and i am learning. So far, i like it. :)

~kitten~

I prefer Master Sir BigDaddy MrUniverse You are THEONE ! All one title and no breaks for breathing.

hahahahaha

i actually tried saying that all without breathing and.....i can DO IT!!

~kitten~

_____________________________

formerly sweetsub1957.

New beginnings...my first poly relationship.

Proudly Owned property of MasterDWC.

(in reply to Icarys)

Post #: 23

RE: What do submissive gestures actually mean to you? - 4/9/2010 9:07:24 PM

LadyNTrainer

Posts: 1584
Joined: 5/20/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OrpheusAgonistes
Ha ha yeah. And if someone gets upset over not being called by the right name, I have a hard time not losing it completely. It makes me sound like a bit of a smirking jackass to say this, but the sight of someone being offended at not being addressed by the proper, self-proclaimed, title makes my muscles want to convulse with laughter.

My official policy, which extends to my collared submissives should they see fit to invoke it, is that anyone who insists on being called by a title rather than their name when they are speaking to people who are not in a D/s relationship with them will heretofore be referred to as "Darth Whatshisname".

Hey, it's a title.

_____________________________

Your dominant Personal Trainer for fitness and body shaping in the lifestyle. Let my fetish be your motivation.

(in reply to OrpheusAgonistes)

Post #: 24

RE: What do submissive gestures actually mean to you? - 4/10/2010 5:40:16 AM

Icarys

Posts: 5757
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DWCskitten

quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

quote:

ORIGINAL: DWCskitten

~Fast Reply~
Master Sir is very big on protocol, and i am learning. So far, i like it. :)

~kitten~

I prefer Master Sir BigDaddy MrUniverse You are THEONE ! All one title and no breaks for breathing.

hahahahaha i actually tried saying that all without breathing and.....i can DO IT!!

~kitten~

Awesome..Your hired!

_____________________________

submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

Alaska Bound-The Official Countdown Has Started!
http://tinyurl.com/872mcu3
http://alturl.com/mog7m

(in reply to DWCskitten)

Post #: 25

RE: What do submissive gestures actually mean to you? - 4/10/2010 8:35:24 AM

kadine

Posts: 14
Joined: 8/11/2006
Status: offline

quote:

I prefer Master Sir BigDaddy MrUniverse You are THEONE ! All one title and no breaks for breathing.

LOL @ all in one breath! how about LordSireYourHighnessSirBigDaddyMrUniverse?

(in reply to Icarys)

Post #: 26

RE: What do submissive gestures actually mean to you? - 4/10/2010 8:59:36 AM

zephyroftheNorth

Posts: 8159
Joined: 10/5/2009
From: The Great Frozen North
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

quote:

ORIGINAL: DWCskitten

quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

quote:

ORIGINAL: DWCskitten

~Fast Reply~
Master Sir is very big on protocol, and i am learning. So far, i like it. :)

~kitten~

I prefer Master Sir BigDaddy MrUniverse You are THEONE ! All one title and no breaks for breathing.

hahahahaha i actually tried saying that all without breathing and.....i can DO IT!!

~kitten~

Awesome..Your hired!

How do you feel about poly? I also did it

_____________________________

And there's a smile when the pain comes
The pain gonna make ev'rything alright ~ Black Crows

Team Troll Trollop
Member: Cocksuckers For World Peace
Charter member: Lance's Fag Hags
Member: Subbie Mafia
Member: Hibbie's Hotties

(in reply to Icarys)

Post #: 27

RE: What do submissive gestures actually mean to you? - 4/10/2010 9:32:50 AM

ChainedExistence

Posts: 507
Joined: 2/5/2005
Status: offline

I've never been in a BDSm club, never attended more than a couple of meetings of like-minded folks, so witnessing what protocals others follow are not what led to the particular set of protocals we observe. At the same time, there are some commonalities-such as the use of the word Master, and kneeling. Of course, I don't say Master because someone said that was the only address that was proper, I say it because it is what I feel he is. He masters me, guides me, instructs me, centers me, demands the best of me. It feels fitting to call him that. I dont kneel all that much (bad knees), but out of deference I feel the compulsion to lower myself before him. I don't do any of the number of little protocals because someone on a message board, on a web page, at a club, or munch said it was something all subs did, I did them because Master either asked for them, or out of my own sense of what it took to be in that headspace. There are other little rituals we practice that are less common. For example, I must use my left hand to drink. It's such a little thing really, but because it isn't a natural response, I do have to think about doing it, and therefore, it reminds me of him. At first, I really struggled with it, and I wondered if it was even something worth the bother, but now, when I slide a glass over to my left side, I smile a little to myself knowing why. If he happens to be with me, then I feel proud to be doing what he asked and wonder if he noticed, and if not, it reminds me that I am his and he has control over the most basic parts of my life. In addition, we have a sort of poem or mantra he often had me repeat and I often say the lines to myself as a way of feeling the relationship when we are apart. I would not call us "high protocal"- he's not "Master" in front of the waitress in the restaurant, for example, but thanks to less obvious rituals I am able to be outwardly compliant without freaking out the rest of the planet. THe point being, rituals can be common or unique, highly visible or quiet and unnoticed by most, but they need to have meaning to the people who are using them. And honestly, I just like rituals and protocals- they allow feelings to have an outward expression, and that's beautiful to me.

(in reply to kadine)

Post #: 28

RE: What do submissive gestures actually mean to you? - 4/10/2010 10:37:59 AM

leadership527

Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline

You know, I've been thinking about this more. I've come to understand that there is only one "submissive gesture" that means anything to me -- obedience. For me, it is the heart of the matter. I know Carol respects me, trusts me and loves me because she obeys. Were all of that not true she wouldn't obey. For me, in the face of her unflinching obedience, whether or not she calls me "master" is just so trivial. I give Carol a lot of commands... many of them terribly difficult for her. I watch her square her shoulders, wrench her head-space into the right frame, and obey. I know everything I need to know -- as does she.

I think this is consistent with my overall personality. I am seldom interested in surface details (sometimes to my detriment). I typically focus on the heart of the matter for whatever it is that I'm focusing on at the moment. That's just how I'm wired and it accounts for my overall disinterest in token gestures. For Carol, as I already said, she couldn't care less. She just wants to please me. If I don't care much about being called "master" then she won't. If I do, then she'll call me "master". Calling me "master" wouldn't really help her to feel more like a "slave". She just doesn't process the whole thing in that manner.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to OrpheusAgonistes)

Post #: 29

RE: What do submissive gestures actually mean to you? - 4/10/2010 10:57:35 AM

Icarys

Posts: 5757
Status: offline

quote:

How do you feel about poly? I also did it

I'm beginning to take a shine to the idea!

_____________________________

submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

Alaska Bound-The Official Countdown Has Started!
http://tinyurl.com/872mcu3
http://alturl.com/mog7m

(in reply to zephyroftheNorth)

Post #: 30

RE: What do submissive gestures actually mean to you? - 4/10/2010 10:59:09 AM

Icarys

Posts: 5757
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: kadine

quote:

I prefer Master Sir BigDaddy MrUniverse You are THEONE ! All one title and no breaks for breathing.

LOL @ all in one breath! how about LordSireYourHighnessSirBigDaddyMrUniverse?

You did change it a little but I like what you've done with it..It's catchy....

_____________________________

submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

Alaska Bound-The Official Countdown Has Started!
http://tinyurl.com/872mcu3
http://alturl.com/mog7m

(in reply to kadine)

Post #: 31

RE: What do submissive gestures actually mean to you? - 4/10/2010 2:48:47 PM

HisEvelyn

Posts: 252
Joined: 1/21/2010
Status: offline

There is some protocol in my relationship with my Master. But for us, it doesn't seem forced at all. Both of us have backgrounds as writers, online roleplayers, and storytellers. So there is a sort of romantic element for me in calling him Master. I will usually only call him such when we are writing online, or during sex, however. We both get a huge charge out of my crying out for Master and begging him to allow me to cum for him during playtime. It just seems right.

In more casual times, like daily conversation or public dates? We tend to be more casual about it. If I am actively obeying something he has asked me to do, I will call him Sir. He always calls me 'my girl' when he's feeling more dominant and 'baby' for more casual moments. And sometimes I'll just call him 'love' or 'hon'. So I suppose there are only titles for us when it really does mean something. I know calling him Master or Sir means a lot to me. It always reminds me of my submission and gives me a little shiver. And it makes him smile, so I love to do it.

As for kneeling and such? I don't kneel too much, because my knees get painful quickly, but I very much enjoy sitting at his feet and resting my head on his thigh when we're relaxing. I have very long, soft red hair and he enjoys petting it. It's calming and peaceful for both of us. We occasionally get more 'proper' with specific poses or kneels or whatnot if he decides he wants to see me in such a way. But usually it is simply natural for us to adopt positions that display that he is in control and I am not. It works for us. In public, we aren't quite so obvious, but he always has me on his arm. He is a bit more than a foot taller than me, so just walking next to him with him towering over me is enough to make me feel deliciously submissive.

For me, there's just a romantic element to the whole 'protocol' aspect of the relationship. As long as it isn't taken to an extent where it gets in the way of us enjoying being together? It adds spice, it adds comfort. We slip in and out of it as it seems right, but it doesn't rule us. I might get a playful smack on my ass if I forgot to call him Sir at some point when he wanted me to, but it would never be a real annoyance. I worship him and he knows it. We follow some protocol because we enjoy it, but we don't 'need' it. All he has to do is look in my eyes to see the devotion and submission.

(in reply to Icarys)

Post #: 32

RE: What do submissive gestures actually mean to you? - 4/10/2010 3:36:49 PM

DWCskitten

Posts: 199
Joined: 3/2/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

quote:

How do you feel about poly? I also did it

I'm beginning to take a shine to the idea!

Poly's good.

_____________________________

formerly sweetsub1957.

New beginnings...my first poly relationship.

Proudly Owned property of MasterDWC.

(in reply to Icarys)

Post #: 33

RE: What do submissive gestures actually mean to you? - 4/10/2010 3:40:02 PM

DWCskitten

Posts: 199
Joined: 3/2/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527
I've come to understand that there is only one "submissive gesture" that means anything to me -- obedience. For me, it is the heart of the matter.

This, of course, is true. Even with all the other gestures, without obedience, they mean nothing.

_____________________________

formerly sweetsub1957.

New beginnings...my first poly relationship.

Proudly Owned property of MasterDWC.

(in reply to leadership527)

Post #: 34

RE: What do submissive gestures actually mean to you? - 4/11/2010 4:23:53 PM

Andalusite

Posts: 2492
Joined: 1/25/2009
Status: offline

Sometimes I kneel because he tells me too, sometimes because I'm so weak in the knees that I can't walk. I sometimes call him Master or Sir in more casual conversation, though more often during play or after a direct, more formal order.

In general, with people I'm not involved with, if I attended a high-protocol event which required particular titles, it wouldn't mean anything more to me than calling someone "Master Bates" or "Lord Whoever" or saying, "Mistress, wilt ye hither with me to yonder privy?" at a Renaissance Faire.

I often call someone "sir" or "ma'am" instead of "Hey, you!" in vanilla circumstances when I don't know their name.

(in reply to DWCskitten)

Post #: 35

RE: What do submissive gestures actually mean to you? - 4/11/2010 5:36:51 PM

OrpheusAgonistes

Posts: 253
Joined: 3/29/2010
Status: offline

quote:

My official policy, which extends to my collared submissives should they see fit to invoke it, is that anyone who insists on being called by a title rather than their name when they are speaking to people who are not in a D/s relationship with them will heretofore be referred to as "Darth Whatshisname".

Hey, it's a title.

Ha ha. I like to go with "Herr Kommissar."

_____________________________

What I cannot create, I do not understand.--Feynman

Every sentence I have written here is the product of some disease.-- Wittgenstein

(in reply to LadyNTrainer)

Post #: 36

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