RE: Intense (Apologies for Length of Post)

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RE: Intense (Apologies for Length of Post) - 4/4/2006 12:53:00 AM

CERCKL

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Joined: 3/4/2006
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quote:

Great post, great questions, but i think if we journey down that tangent will we hijack the intention of this particular thread. Beginning a new thread on this subject may prove to create an interesting discussion, however.

Thank you owned...it's a good thing you ARE owned, I appreciate your 'protection'. Smile...
I am having trouble sleeping...very deep burning tonight, smoked My last cigarette, listening to Nick Cave, have to work too soon...not allowing My self to lash out...Damn, I love this.
I would like to publicly thank those who I have quite a bit of respect for their views for their responses, a few I have emailed in private, some I have not...I appreciate the indulgence and safety of posting something very intimate to My self and being taken seriously and not ridiculed for being open. Opening up is a very difficult activity for Myself...especially in a manner which isn't intended to place more walls.
Thank you,
C

_____________________________

AND I AM TOO AN ASSHOLE, I HAVE REFERENCES!!!

"Please, please, please believe me, I really am an asshole. All that Enlightenment and Higher Learning shit was all a ruse."

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

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RE: Intense (Apologies for Length of Post) - 4/4/2006 5:15:59 AM

thegreymistress

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Joined: 9/9/2004
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Romancing the Shadow by Connie Zweig and Steve Wolf....that is a place to start healing and understanding. In the meantime, breathe, release, center, and ask whatever your source is, in my case it would be my spiritual guides. they can most assuredly assist you, if you have taken to doubting yourself as a result of your err then perhaps the steps mentioned will bring you full circle to trusting your judgement. You are the one who has access and knowledge in the fullest capacity beyond any squall line here. I send love and light to you in your time of need. Surrounding yourself with a blue light may assist with communication aspects..perhaps I just went too far and perhaps not. I am not one for e mails or long posts being a sag I tend to jump topics with the greatest of ease....

(in reply to CERCKL)

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RE: Intense (Apologies for Length of Post) - 4/4/2006 8:04:08 PM

CERCKL

Posts: 1039
Joined: 3/4/2006
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I will check into the book...
Again I want to thank all that tolerated My post last night; some very good insight as well as quite a bit of positive goodwill received and I appreciated it all. Thank you.
I will try not to allow My self to bleed out like that again...very out of character.
Also, last night was very rough, I experienced an outpouring of energy that though I maintained...I felt the calling of the Abyss again, which I thought I had left behind over the years...little sleep, no outlet and the sirens screaming in My ears...this morning was just sun and blue sky where yesterday was grey and hard rain...as above so below.
Namaste,
C

_____________________________

AND I AM TOO AN ASSHOLE, I HAVE REFERENCES!!!

"Please, please, please believe me, I really am an asshole. All that Enlightenment and Higher Learning shit was all a ruse."

(in reply to thegreymistress)

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Post #: 23

RE: Intense (Apologies for Length of Post) - 4/10/2006 8:57:16 AM

CERCKL

Posts: 1039
Joined: 3/4/2006
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quote:

While dealing with someone who is as intense as you seem to be can be frightening, it can also be intoxicating. Your intensity is part of what drew her to you and what keeps her coming back for more. Being aware of the feelings between you and being sensitive to her need to remain an individual at this time are important.

When I get to your area of the country I will gladly take you up on the coffee, or if you ever amble on down to TN, coffee's on here too.

_____________________________

-Tress

I revisited this OP of mine of a week ago...and I recognize the wisdom shared with me from different individuals on this board...I have been thinking about MissTress' statement of the dichotomy towards both frightening and intoxicating... I tend to be a catlyst for those I allow close to me to confront both themselves and what they believe; this is an aspect of my personality which can both invigorate and burn others. I am always in a state of processing; I need those to show my own shortness in thinking, realizing, awakening, so I can either take away those beliefs or actions which weaken or distract as well as buttress those which are constructive. I also have a tendency to drop into very dark regions of myself (yes, my physician has me on medication for this, though it took me over 20 years to accept the biological basis for some of my own personality traits...) and at times find it difficult to allow myself to walk through this...

lotus and I are still in the beginnings of constructing a relationship...she is slowly going through a lot to recognize who I am and myself, I am having to consciously slow my steps...patience is one element which seems to be brought to my attention and I realize that becoming more adept at that will allow this situation and relationship to become much more intense than originally perceived.

Thanks again to all,

_____________________________

AND I AM TOO AN ASSHOLE, I HAVE REFERENCES!!!

"Please, please, please believe me, I really am an asshole. All that Enlightenment and Higher Learning shit was all a ruse."

(in reply to yourMissTress)

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Post #: 24