RE: Timing is everything.

RE: Timing is everything. (Full Version)

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zephyroftheNorth -> RE: Timing is everything. (4/11/2010 7:49:56 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: domiguy Oh silly suunyd, out here courteousy is a sign of weakness. You go big or not at all. anywhoooo, here is the deal. If it has a direct impact on the way a relationship is going to be conducted then it has to be mentioned upfront. Kids married/ in a relationship poly hiv erectile dysfunction vagina is missing These things are going to have a direct impact and should be addressed immediately. Upfront before a meeting would be the best. However, when I meet someone I am not a big proponent of crossing every tee. I don't want to spend too much time on the phone or exchanging countless messages because the proof is in the pudding...or the meeting, as the case may be...(Isn't pudding wonderful) So if I have not given someone the time or allowed them to reach the comfort zone to come clean on their shit then it better happen on our first meeting. But in reality all someone has to do is say, "Domi, wait a minute, one thing you should know about me before this goes any further is that I lost my vagina in the war." See it isn't that hard. Then I have time to reach a decision whether I would want to pursue a relationship with a gal that is a hole shy. Who knows? That's how I see it. I agree with Domi, for the big stuff the sooner the better and if it doesn't happen while chatting before meeting it had better happen on the first meet. The other person deserves to know so that they can make an informed decision before becoming strongly invested in the other person. Oh and Domi.....I lost my vagina in a war. Sorry dude

domiguy -> RE: Timing is everything. (4/11/2010 7:50:01 AM)
I have heard that bopping someone that is married has some risks as well.

Smutmonger -> RE: Timing is everything. (4/11/2010 7:51:00 AM)
Naw,pay no attention to the man with the shotgun in the bedroom doorway. [:D] quote: ORIGINAL: domiguy I have heard that bopping someone that is married has some risks as well.

LadyAngelika -> RE: Timing is everything. (4/11/2010 8:09:53 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Jeffff It's not just about danger, it's about trust. I want to know the important things in your life before I am willing to enter into a relationship. The woman had better come clean pretty early or I am gone. Jeffff, I totally agree with the big stuff. The thing is, people need to use their judgement. Hypothetically: Is it important for me to know if a man has children if I was to have a one night stand with him, no. Is it important for me to know he has children if I'm going to be in a relationship with him, yes. Is it important for me to know if a man is married if I was to have a one night stand with him, very good question. I'm going to say no as it's a no strings attached affair. That said, I haven't had a one night stand in years so really I don't need to lose much sleep over this. - LA

DesFIP -> RE: Timing is everything. (4/11/2010 10:09:06 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss Celeste, I have always appreciated how black and white you are (rarely agree, but always appreciate [:)] ) You said : Once you've met and you think there is the possibility of a relationship, then you need full disclosure. You don't wait until after you've had sex. Sex is not a relationship... what then? Best, sunshine *as an aside: Somehow I knew that this thread would end up about sex even though that wasn't the intention. Sex maniacs, I say! A sexual encounter is a temporary relationship. But the truth is that most of us have sex prior to deciding this is our soulmate. So you don't wait until afterward to tell them you've got a std, you're poly and so on. Because if they are thinking of you in terms of a potential longterm relationship and poly is a deal breaker, they may be resentful that you used them solely for a notch on the bedpost. I admit that women are more likely to be upset by this than men. Now the having children thing is difficult. If you don't tell a guy you're a single mother he may think you lied. But if you spread it around you run the risk of attracting a predator who is solely interested in your female minors. I know I'm not the only woman here who has received emails from these creeps. But I think the onus here is more on the guy to say that this is a dealbreaker early on simply because of the potential risk to the minors.

reynardfox -> RE: Timing is everything. (4/11/2010 10:39:35 AM)
We let people we meet know that we are Dominants fairly early on as it is always a scare for them if they find out from others or from clues around the house. It helps to indicate straight away that we don't regard them as being on the menu and that we are quite happy with the friends we have, indeed some of her subs have been know to try to frighten new friends away, the scamps. It can be a drag when people invite you because of your percieved peculiarity and then you are the entertainment for the evening, but to be honest as long as the food's good and no one expects a practical demonstration, so what? You would not believe how many vanilla women have tried to snog My wife after finding out that she is a Mistress and throw themselves at her, leaving their other half staring into a wine glass or glaring at me, like it's my fault? It's not for the shy, this life, is it?

Jeffff -> RE: Timing is everything. (4/11/2010 10:43:54 AM)
I don't think it has much to do with bdsm. I think it has more to do with expressing who you are, what you want and what your expectations are

LadyAngelika -> RE: Timing is everything. (4/11/2010 10:56:53 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Jeffff I don't think it has much to do with bdsm. I think it has more to do with expressing who you are, what you want and what your expectations are I often say, the more we feel at ease talking to one another about the difficult things, the better suited we are for one another. If I find myself being blocked from sharing something with someone, it is my subconscious telling me that I should be telling him, and I break it off. - LA

sunshinemiss -> RE: Timing is everything. (4/11/2010 3:15:34 PM)
Hello everyone, I'm just waking up and know better than to post anything of real substance wihtout the aid of my favorite substance - coffee. However, perhaps because without it I'm seeing only the general stuff and not nuances. It seems that folks are focusing on the responsibility to tell another. My focus is more about protecting myself. (That's kind of interesting - not sure what it means... well that's not true. i do know what it means.). An interesting discussion, particularly the split between the physical and philosophical. But perhaps cofffee is in order before I jump into that can of worms. *I believe I just mixed a metaphor. Meh. No matter. Best, sunshine

marie2 -> RE: Timing is everything. (4/11/2010 3:35:22 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Jeffff Marie?... bring those fucking shoes in august! Alright, but please don't put a paper bag over my head. God, I hate when Domi does that to me, it's so humiliating.

domiguy -> RE: Timing is everything. (4/11/2010 3:41:30 PM)
Women are so odd. I would think that you would have been more put off by the retching and all of the barf on your back. But I guess you have an adverse reaction to paper bags, who knew?

Rule -> RE: Timing is everything. (4/11/2010 3:51:11 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: domiguy Is there a time table for world domination? No. It will happen when I am ready. If I fail, eventually someone with a mind very much like mine will succeed. It is inevitable. I am an archetype. My first objective is to cure herpes and other virus diseases. My second objective is to invent immortality. I have as yet not been successful in either, but there are possibilities - and both may be related.

slvemike4u -> RE: Timing is everything. (4/11/2010 3:57:33 PM)
Wow...you have to like a guy with such lofty ambitions...of course you do realise you might very well lay the ground work for the immortality thing,only to fall short....and another pick up where you left off and wind up reaping all of the benifits.

domiguy -> RE: Timing is everything. (4/11/2010 3:59:01 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Rule quote: ORIGINAL: domiguy Is there a time table for world domination? No. It will happen when I am ready. If I fail, eventually someone with a mind very much like mine will succeed. It is inevitable. I am an archetype. My first objective is to cure herpes and other virus diseases. My second objective is to invent immortality. I have as yet not been successful in either, but there are possibilities - and both may be related. I wish you well in all of your pursuits. The world needs you now more than ever. if you cannot find a cure for your virus or get bored with the pursuits of immortality would you mind creating a paper bag that will not come dislodged from Marie's head? Thank you. Your time shall come.

Rule -> RE: Timing is everything. (4/11/2010 4:27:32 PM)
Try a harmonica paper bag.

zephyroftheNorth -> RE: Timing is everything. (4/11/2010 4:36:49 PM)
quote: <snip>would you mind creating a paper bag that will not come dislodged from Marie's head? That's easy, just secure it with duct tape. Of course she will not be able to breathe but nothing is perfect

domiguy -> RE: Timing is everything. (4/11/2010 4:40:52 PM)
I am no longer interested in pursuing a new paper bag technology. It is not a worthwhile pursuit of my valuable time.

slvemike4u -> RE: Timing is everything. (4/11/2010 5:53:38 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: zephyroftheNorth quote: <snip>would you mind creating a paper bag that will not come dislodged from Marie's head? That's easy, just secure it with duct tape. Of course she will not be able to breathe but nothing is perfect Zeph we're talking about a "paper bag"...them suckers aren't airtight.

zephyroftheNorth -> RE: Timing is everything. (4/11/2010 6:28:34 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: slvemike4u quote: ORIGINAL: zephyroftheNorth quote: <snip>would you mind creating a paper bag that will not come dislodged from Marie's head? That's easy, just secure it with duct tape. Of course she will not be able to breathe but nothing is perfect Zeph we're talking about a "paper bag"...them suckers aren't airtight. they are if you wrap duct tape around the bottom.....which I was only suggesting in order to keep it from falling off Marie's head, not to kill her. Probably not the best idea, huh.

MonPetitChaton -> RE: Timing is everything. (4/11/2010 6:39:35 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Rule quote: ORIGINAL: domiguy Is there a time table for world domination? No. It will happen when I am ready. If I fail, eventually someone with a mind very much like mine will succeed. It is inevitable. I am an archetype. My first objective is to cure herpes and other virus diseases. My second objective is to invent immortality. I have as yet not been successful in either, but there are possibilities - and both may be related. Rule, I would personally like to applaud your bravery in admitting publicly you have the virus. Did you know that when you take a viral suppressant like Valtrex full time, it cuts your chance of transmitting the virus to sexual partner when not suffering an attack to 1.9%. This percentage, of course takes in "safe sex" practices. I'd like to say that one of my best friends is HIV+ and admits it openly on all his on-line profiles and he never lacks for HIV+ partners. He does get hit on by the odd bug chaser but he is never lonely when he chooses not to be. Maybe a it takes brave souls to openly admit to their STD state and stand up to the resultant flack so others might also feel brave enough to put their STD status in their profiles as well. I imagine there is nothing so isolating or soul destroying in feeling that because of some bastard turn of fate you feel unlovable, unclean and unworthy of affection and a life partner. My heart goes out to you Rule. Warmest Regards, Mon petit chaton.

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