RE: Domme/male sub relationships and sex?

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RE: Domme/male sub relationships and sex? - 4/12/2010 2:33:11 PM

MistressTaboo

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I have my husband/sub and I have a collared sub. I have sex with the collared sub and NOT my husband because he's a cuckold. But before the collared sub came down the road I did have sex with my husband.

I do NOT have sex with casual play partners. It didn't matter how long I had played them I didn't have sex with them UNLESS it was for the purpose of reminding my husband that he's a cuckold. But 99% of them I played and sent home and let hubby do his job orally. Didn't see any reason to have sex with the wrong person just because I enjoyed the play. I have a husband with a perfectly good tongue or I have a vibrator.

Now I love sex with the collared sub, it's incredible. He's happy being a sub and a sex toy. Hubby is happy being a cuckold and I'm happy because I have both of them in my life.

So I think whatever works for you is best for you. There is no right or wrong.

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RE: Domme/male sub relationships and sex? - 4/12/2010 7:05:11 PM

beej

Posts: 145
Joined: 1/24/2010
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i'm considering subs right now, and i have only wanted a lasting sexual, social, and emotional relationship. i have no interest in just play dates or sessions. for me, kink is an active expression of the chemistry between me and the man, and the chemistry includes personality and sexuality so D/s dynamics don't quite make sense to me without a sexual possibility.

now, a lot of Dommes seem very much attached to the particular kind of play or interpersonal dynamic that they enjoy with their boys, and perhaps that's what they are looking to maintain whether its sexual or not. me, i don't really have a strong attachment to any particular fetish and will take an interest in whatever kind of play serves me and the man.

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RE: Domme/male sub relationships and sex? - 4/12/2010 9:21:48 PM

AlexandraLynch

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Joined: 3/24/2008
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I have a husband and two subs, and I have sex with all three. We are all polyamorous. However, part of it is that I express some of my dominance in intimate play settings. I can just leave the interaction at the non-sexual (Or, non-overtly sexual, anyway...) but in a relationship intimacy WILL be a part of it, unless we are exploring the equally sexually charged interactions of chastity and keyholding.

My one boy went home today with welts, bruises, and a beautiful set of four scratch marks from ass to shoulderblade because I liked the way he moved in me and on me when I did it. (Mind you, I didn't intend to break the skin. I'll back it off a bit next time.)

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RE: Domme/male sub relationships and sex? - 4/13/2010 12:16:38 AM

allthatjaz

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Thanks for the links LadyAngelica, they were an interesting read. Although I haven't read the posts before (not sure how I missed them) its good to see so many of us think the same way.
I read the question about 'is penetration a dominant act' and you then went on to say 'penetration can be a game of demand'. That little game is soooooo friggin hot!! Verbal game playing during sex with my partner is one of the most intimate and dominant acts I have the pleasure of enjoying. I can beat a man till he's black and blue but I can't match it to sexual domination with my primary partner.

Mistress Taboo and Alexandra, it sounds like you both have very interesting lifestyles.

beej, every time I read your posts I have to smile because for someone fairly new to this I think your awesome!!

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RE: Domme/male sub relationships and sex? - 4/13/2010 12:24:47 AM

MasterFireMaam

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Joined: 3/1/2006
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We don't have a sexual relationship with slave elliot, not because We think it makes Us less "Domly" or is wrong somehow, but because 1) we are incompatible sexually (gay slave, het Master) and 2) We have a love relationship with Our boyfriend, Andrew, that is currently monogamous.

Should the Universe ever set it up such that having sex with a slave was appropriate for all involved, it could happen.

Master Fire

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RE: Domme/male sub relationships and sex? - 4/13/2010 10:49:27 AM

seekingOwnertoo

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i realize You are addressing Ladies here, but as a male sub, i will share my thoughts.

i have previously been in two D/s relationships ... both over years ... in these relationships, W/we did have normal vanilla sex, regularly.

And i will say, i do not believe it is possible for me to be in a relationship, without having sex. She might control the when ... but She doesn't deny it, either.

Now, early, when i was exploring the lifestyle for the first time, i did play ... with Pro Dommes and Non Pro's ... but we did not have sex ... and in fact ... hard limits included sex in any way, as well as no exchange of body fluid in any way.

So i think it is important to differentiate the two.

< Message edited by seekingOwnertoo -- 4/13/2010 11:09:20 AM >

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RE: Domme/male sub relationships and sex? - 4/13/2010 10:57:58 AM

thishereboi

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Pretty much everyone I know who identifies as Domme, has sex with her sub. Now that is not to say they have sex with everyone they play with, but they do with their primary partner.

ett

quote:

I am not talking about long term subs that fit in with your other half, your primary partner.

Sorry missed this part. Never mind.

< Message edited by thishereboi -- 4/13/2010 10:59:10 AM >

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RE: Domme/male sub relationships and sex? - 4/13/2010 11:11:24 AM

seekingOwnertoo

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quote:

ORIGINAL: thishereboi

Pretty much everyone I know who identifies as Domme, has sex with her sub. Now that is not to say they have sex with everyone they play with, but they do with their primary partner.

ett

quote:

I am not talking about long term subs that fit in with your other half, your primary partner.

Sorry missed this part. Never mind.

Apparently, i did too! <chuckles>

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RE: Domme/male sub relationships and sex? - 4/14/2010 8:00:51 AM

Andalusite

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When I had a male submissive before, we were sexually and romantically involved with each other. When I was looking, before I found my Master, I was open to someone of any sexual orientation. I'm not sexually involved with my submissive playpartner, since she is married, and we have more of a casual interaction, although we're friends and I do care about her.

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