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RE: Nervous about meeting - 4/14/2010 4:23:50 AM   
Aileen1968


Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DomBCGlasgow

I disagree :) If it was a D/s meeting, then the basic rules are in place. Wasting a Doms time by standing Him up and humiliating HIM should be punished.

Unless its a meeting of switches... in that case it would be mildly amusing :D



There are no basic rules other than common courtesy. A dominant man's time is no more important than a submissive woman's time. (Please insert whatever labels and genders you feel like in those underlined spots)
To think that doms are godlike and should be treated as such even when they are strangers is ridiculous.


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RE: Nervous about meeting - 4/14/2010 4:30:09 AM   
lally2


Posts: 2621
Joined: 4/16/2009
Status: offline 		its normal to be nervous but after the first couple of minutes those nerves wear off and youre back to communicating with the person youve been communicating with all along, only now its in real life.  which is much better!

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RE: Nervous about meeting - 4/14/2010 4:32:27 AM   
Phoenix73Sir


Posts: 139
Joined: 4/2/2010
From: Northants, UK
Status: offline 		The nerves are GREAT!. they add to the whole experience.

One thing you have to remember though is that the ice has already been well and truly shattered.  you already "know" about each other as much as is possible over IM and calls so it's just the present opening aspect which is always exciting.

As long as you are doing the safe thing (meeting at first in a public place, having a friend either with you or at the very least aware of where you are etc) then what have you got to lose?  You can always run if things are not what you expected. but if you let the nerves get to you you'll never meet anyone.




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RE: Nervous about meeting - 4/14/2010 4:37:17 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DomBCGlasgow



I disagree :) If it was a D/s meeting, then the basic rules are in place. Wasting a Doms time by standing Him up and humiliating HIM should be punished.

Unless its a meeting of switches... in that case it would be mildly amusing :D



You may be A dom. But until I consent, you sure as hell aren't MY dom.
Anybody who said I was going to be punished for being scared is someone I wouldn't meet.

And if he didn't say so ahead of time but tried to do so? Call the police.
That's assuming the Starbuck's staff didn't do so for me.

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RE: Nervous about meeting - 4/14/2010 4:50:47 AM   
Firebirdseeking


Posts: 477
Joined: 9/3/2006
Status: offline 		It would be a positive thing if you would actually contribute a serious, well thought out reply. We are not here for your personal amusement.

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RE: Nervous about meeting - 4/14/2010 5:11:57 AM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline 		The above statement amuses me!

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RE: Nervous about meeting - 4/14/2010 8:00:17 AM   
bethsmith1988


Posts: 26
Joined: 12/1/2008
Status: offline 		I try not to think about it until we meet and then get handcuffed soon so I don't chicken out.

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Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Nervous about meeting - 4/14/2010 1:54:21 PM   
HisEvelyn


Posts: 252
Joined: 1/21/2010
Status: offline 		I actually just met my own Master in real life for the first time over Easter weekend. I was absolutely terrified! Despite how we had talked on the phone and over IM's for four months, how we'd exchanged pictures and everything had been incredibly smooth? I still had a crazy notion that he wasn't going to like me. I still have some self-confidence issues that crop up for first meetings.

The moment I laid eyes on him, I knew it was going to be all right. We'd set up an agreement beforehand that we would meet and interact on an equal footing at first, until I felt ready to submit 'for real'. We had a phrase that I would say when I was ready for him to take control. That definitely helped my nerves somewhat, as not only was this my first meeting with HIM, but my first meeting someone with the intention of truly exploring the dom/sub dynamic in a relationship. For the first hour or so, I was very shy and somewhat skittish. Though I wasn't afraid he didn't like how I looked, considering within two minutes of meeting? He was whispering in my ear how incredibly sexy I was and how much he was going to enjoy our weekend together.

Once I submitted to him that evening? We never went back. Slipped so naturally into our dynamic that we were never again on equal footing, and I loved every moment of it.

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RE: Nervous about meeting - 4/14/2010 2:59:26 PM   
SirRussellP


Posts: 107
Joined: 1/10/2006
Status: offline 		I do agree with having safety rules in place for meetings. 

I also agree that the submissive is under no constraint to act submissive or owned until they both have agreed that is what they want for a day or for lifetime.

I do though believe that any Dom and submissive meeting that there should be proper manners used by both. 

I do disagree that a Dom/Master and the sub/slave are on unequal footing.  Yes our duties and responsibilities are very different but we are lost without our counterpart.

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Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Nervous about meeting - 4/14/2010 5:51:06 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DomBCGlasgow
If it was a D/s meeting, then the basic rules are in place. Wasting a Doms time by standing Him up and humiliating HIM should be punished.

Really?  I only punish people I care about.  If she no-shows for a first meeting, she's going to be very low on my priority list.  I am a busy person, and I already have plenty of other things to do.

Besides, how could I be humiliated by the inaction of another?  Even if I went to another city to meet the no-show, I'd have a nice dinner at a new restaurant, go back to the hotel and order a massage, do a couple hours of work, and sleep in a king size bed with clean sheets.  Not exactly a wasted day.

< Message edited by RedMagic1 -- 4/14/2010 5:52:08 PM >

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RE: Nervous about meeting - 4/14/2010 6:10:29 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Red, you forgot the meet at Starbucks inside a Barnes & Noble and buy some new books.

Me? I'd add room service so I could eat in my pjs while reading the new books.

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RE: Nervous about meeting - 4/16/2010 6:26:13 AM   
afkarr


Posts: 328
Joined: 1/13/2010
Status: offline 		1. What's there to be nervous about? It's nothing more than a blind date where the main topic of conversation is probalby going to be kinky sex. No reason that should make anybody nervous in the least Seriously, you meet, and you either click or you walk away. The only thing you're out by walking away is time, and any emotional energy you put into creating some fantasy of ow you wanted to things to be. Leave the expectations beind, and you'll be amazed at how quickly the nerves follow them.

2. How does one consider someone they have only known for a few weeks as their "Master"? Sounds like a shotgun collaring......and those usually tuen out as well as their vanilla counterparts.

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Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Nervous about meeting - 4/16/2010 9:15:09 AM   
RidiculedPiggy


Posts: 10
Joined: 4/13/2010
Status: offline 		Generally with myself, I am a shy person when first meeting others, I usually move out of my shell once I know the person, so normally when I am meeting someone for the first time, I put on a brave face and try to think optimistically. Honestly though, I hadn't met anyone in about 5 years being no one had really striked my interest. The Last person I met who I served, I made a few mistakes in regards to my safety and was lucky he was who he said he was, but I've learned my lesson. So I figure I will be just as nervous when meeting someone, the good nervous feeling though, being different thoughts would go through my mind as I wouldn't know what to expect from him. Thoughts like, "what if it works out and he is like the others who hurt me?' Forget it,don't think it..." yeah being a writer and creative sort, I tend to over think things through, therefore when meeting someone my imagination runs away with me anticipating the meet. Its often better when we start talking and I get over my shyness. I just look for the best in him as the meet proceeds, I suspose I'd get nervous for several reasons...including shyness and the nervousness about how we'd connect.

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Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Nervous about meeting - 4/17/2010 2:39:49 AM   
stella41b


Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DomBCGlasgow

I disagree :) If it was a D/s meeting, then the basic rules are in place. Wasting a Doms time by standing Him up and humiliating HIM should be punished.



The concept of wasting someone's time doesn't exist without it becoming established that there's some value involved of sharing that time.

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Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Nervous about meeting - 4/17/2010 12:37:54 PM   
riptied


Posts: 2
Joined: 1/12/2004
Status: offline 		Yes,seeing that nervous body language is interesting and a clear indication the power exchange has begun.Then watching as they melt into calmness and often arousal ohh prescious moments indeed.


Riptied.






Riptied: A strong swift current that can take you on a long undulating ride,to swim against it would be a waste of your life force and quite possible lead to it's expiration.

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Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Nervous about meeting - 4/17/2010 1:27:49 PM   
Frankseas


Posts: 61
Joined: 1/16/2010
Status: offline 		We all have nerves Dom or sub. It lets the other know that we are real and have emotions. Which is a good thing. Someone that is too cool might not be right?!

Helpful hint....if meeting in a small coffee shop say Starbucks, watch your speaking volume. Esp when they turn off those noisy grinders and esspreso machine. "So you like to be spanked and tied up as well?" Makes others look over as well

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Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Nervous about meeting - 4/17/2010 5:26:57 PM   
kiwisub12


Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline 		Shoot - when i met my Sir - at Barnes and Noble- where we had a drink (non-alcoholic of course ) - I was so nervous, i couldn't sit in the cafe - where i said i would be. I got a rather irate phone call asking me where i was. I was in the sci-fi section, a place where i was very comfortable, and had to walk towards this man. Did i say i was nervous? lol

It was the first "date" i had had in 10 years - well, 23 if you count my marraige. Did i mention i was terrified?
My nervousness dissipated somewhat during the ensuing conversation - we talked about just about everything except politics.

Of course, when i went over to his house, i was just as nervous as the first meet. ...... and yes, it did add a frizzle to the beginning of our relationship.

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Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Nervous about meeting - 4/17/2010 6:39:36 PM   
LookieNoNookie


Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: jmo1990

Was anyone here nervous about meeting their Mistress or Master the first time in real life?  if so what did you do to make yourself not nervous?



Tremendously.

I didn't...I just was.

It was fabulous.

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Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Nervous about meeting - 4/18/2010 12:30:14 PM   
babygurlangel


Posts: 85
Joined: 12/13/2009
Status: offline 		I just met my Daddy Thursday, and I was nervous but we had talked on the phone and IMs since January and we had gotten to know each other well, I knew that if it came to it I could walk away if something didn't feel right. But after we met the nervousness slowly went away I kept reminding myself that you can't hide the true you over the phone for that long of a time. So, I knew that for the most part we were just moving from phone only to in person. I guess there wasn't much I could do to keep from being nervous except keep busy until time to meet. That helped for the most part.

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Profile   Post #: 39
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