RE: What exactly makes you think that you are Submissive?

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leadership527 -> RE: What exactly makes you think that you are Submissive? (4/14/2010 12:30:00 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: UniqueRaven This is why i have a hard limit on serving Engineers. Hee hee! [:D] (just kidding) LOLOLOL... touche. Honestly, probably a very sensible hard limit since us engineer types can be infuriating laughs So this will be one of those times i will be unable to explain how i process things. i've done my best. But thank you for discussing it with me. [:)] No worries Raven. I'm well aware that the way I conceptualize the world varies distinctly from how other people do. Carol, for instance, barely even uses concepts at all in favor of pictures and experiential thinking. I don't think there's a right or wrong here.

Icarys -> RE: What exactly makes you think that you are Submissive? (4/14/2010 1:00:36 PM)
quote: probably a very sensible hard limit since us engineer types can be infuriating *Grins

TermsConditions -> RE: What exactly makes you think that you are Submissive? (4/14/2010 1:40:48 PM)
Delivered via courier rom the CM Archives: Top 10 signs you might be submissive. 10. Your tired of answering to “bitch”, “little girl”, or “slave.” Pick one dammit! 9. It looks like you’re in Slytherin, but at last moment the Sorting Hat pops in a butt plug and sends you to Sissy House instead. 8. Checkmark on driver’s license next to “Bottom.” Top and Switch left blank. 7. You’re meeting with kinky friends and you notice everyone else is sitting in a chair, not on the floor. 6. Later at same gathering you notice everyone else has taken a turn sitting on you. 5. “Your turn now!” is much more scary to hear than you ever imagined it could be. 4. Looking in the mirror, you’re thinking TULS NIAP must be the Norwegian Guy that designed that cute collar round your neck. 3. Your new CM mailbox is full of heartfelt words of welcome from nice dominant folk just wanting to make you feel at home. Also, get on your knees now b****! 2. You have no idea what you’re going to do with all these clothespins… And the number one sign you might be submissive… You had to ask Sir’s permission before posting your question on the CM message board!

lucylucy -> RE: What exactly makes you think that you are Submissive? (4/14/2010 4:06:46 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: PravdaIsvestia So you call yourself a submissive or a slave? How do you define yourselves as such? I feel peaceful and tranquil and satisfied when I submit to my Owner. My submission is physical (he owns my body and can do whatever he wants with it whenever he wants), emotional (I am completely honest and open with him and don't hold back anything, even if it would make me look like a better person to not admit that I have petty feelings sometimes), and philosophical (I think of myself as his property, I consider my actions as reflections of him). I obey him. quote: Who gave you that title? It's not a title, it's a description, as slavekal pointed out. No one gave it to me. I didn't know I needed to be given the words I use to describe myself. quote: Why do most people who call themselves such actually behave like they are dominant and in control? I'm not sure of the context you're thinking of here. Do you mean why do I have my own opinions? Why do I go to work everyday and pay my bills and care for my child? Why do I not take orders from anyone but my Owner? Because I'm a responsible adult human.

catize -> RE: What exactly makes you think that you are Submissive? (4/14/2010 4:33:16 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: leadership527 OK, so I'm genuinely curious... if someone has "surrendered", what exactly have they surrendered? If they are disobeying, then it is clearly not their personal authority (aka, "will") that they have surrendered. Can you define this "surrender" thing in practical terms? Let me take a stab at this and turn your question around a bit. (All the thisismyopinion mumbling applies) One can obey with gritted teeth, only do whatever is asked while never offering one iota extra. In that case, I am obedient, I am submitting ....but externally. Surrender comes from the inside; letting go of expectations, feeling freed instead of fettered by my obedience.

leadership527 -> RE: What exactly makes you think that you are Submissive? (4/14/2010 5:01:59 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: catize Let me take a stab at this and turn your question around a bit. (All the thisismyopinion mumbling applies) One can obey with gritted teeth, only do whatever is asked while never offering one iota extra. In that case, I am obedient, I am submitting ....but externally. Surrender comes from the inside; letting go of expectations, feeling freed instead of fettered by my obedience. nods THAT makes total sense to me and in fact something I actively work on with Carol. The last thing I want is Carol gritting her teeth. I'd rather she just be my submissive wife if it was going to be a lifetime of "teeth gritting" for her.

DWCskitten -> RE: What exactly makes you think that you are Submissive? (4/14/2010 5:33:33 PM)
~Fast Reply~ i was not the first person to give myself the "title" of submissive. Someone else was. Now i know that it fits and that i, in fact, AM submissive. i feel that i am because i like to please others and be controlled. However, when i'm not in a relationship, i control my own life. i am fully capable of doing so & will not give away that control to any Tom, Dick, or Harry Who really doesn't give one shit about me. ~kitten~

whiteslavebitch -> RE: What exactly makes you think that you are Submissive? (4/14/2010 8:10:51 PM)
Because that is what I am. I have an innate need to submit, to serve, to be pleasing to the one I commit to. Any vanilla relationship stifles me and makes me feel incomplete.

Smutmonger -> RE: What exactly makes you think that you are Submissive? (4/14/2010 10:02:39 PM)
Because they live rich fantasy lives man. It's like being a Star Trek fan.

dreamerdreaming -> RE: What exactly makes you think that you are Submissive? (4/14/2010 11:16:36 PM)
This question was just answered yesterday. Try the search function, OP- it works. We are only submissive to those with whom we are in an agreed-upon D/s dynamic. Not everyone. Duh. [8\|]

generalservant -> RE: What exactly makes you think that you are Submissive? (4/15/2010 3:54:52 AM)
I am submissive but am also a slave. I cant help it because I was born with rarther than developed the mindset. So it is my birthright vocation and one that I am proud of and will never ever be anything else.

kadine -> RE: What exactly makes you think that you are Submissive? (4/15/2010 5:55:28 AM)
quote: So you call yourself a submissive or a slave? How do you define yourselves as such? Who gave you that title? Why do most people who call themselves such actually behave like they are dominant and in control? I don't assume to label anyone no matter what path they choose in life, or how they define that choice. I refer to myself as a slave because I want to make one choice, that choice being surrendering to a Master. Once that initial choice is made, all decisions are his to make in regards to my well being and how I may serve him to the best of my ability. quote: What kind of messed up life would I have if I were submissive in all aspects of my life? What kind of target would I be for abusers and those that wanted to take advantage... What kind of single mother would I have been, how could I run a business... if I am submissive in life? jbcurious, I identify with some of what you say here. I'll go along with you as far as my being a target for those who would take advantage of my nature. I'm submissive in ALL aspects of my life. Shying away from confrontation of any kind in this society, as it pertains to me. I'm a successful mother of two wonderful teens, both of whom are on the honor roll in school, and I support them and myself, alone. While I cannot protect or defend myself, (the world is a scary place with mean people!) I will go to EVERY length to do so for another person that I care deeply about. Some people fulfill their lives and find strength by living alone, some marry, some are D/s, some are M/s, etc. I find that I reach fulfillment and gain strength and confidence by serving another with everything in me. :)

Mercnbeth -> RE: What exactly makes you think that you are Submissive? (4/15/2010 6:58:44 AM)
quote: What exactly makes you think that you are Submissive? the complete and utter absence of any innate ability or desire to control/be in authority over persons, relationships or sexual encounters coupled with a knee-jerk reaction, intense desire and extensive training to submit/surrender to/obey other persons, relationships and/or sexual encounters. this slave isn't a leader, shot caller, controlling, dominant individual ~ and has absolutely no inclination to be, learn to be nor fake being one. quote: Why do most people who call themselves such actually behave like they are dominant and in control? because not everyone perceives and experiences submission the same way...and not everyone desires or is wired for submission in every aspect of their lives/every relationship they are a part of/as a default reaction to the world in general. some folks are inspired to submit extremely infrequently over the course of their lives...while others can't understand the need for some sort of je ne sais quoi/inspiration in order to submit ~ to them it's as free and easy as breathing air.

choccywoc -> RE: What exactly makes you think that you are Submissive? (4/15/2010 8:52:50 AM)
It's an interesting question, you're given a label, but don't always live up to that label. Life can take away our labels but it'll never take our freedom!

kyraofMists -> RE: What exactly makes you think that you are Submissive? (4/15/2010 10:45:39 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: catize quote: ORIGINAL: leadership527 OK, so I'm genuinely curious... if someone has "surrendered", what exactly have they surrendered? If they are disobeying, then it is clearly not their personal authority (aka, "will") that they have surrendered. Can you define this "surrender" thing in practical terms? Let me take a stab at this and turn your question around a bit. (All the thisismyopinion mumbling applies) One can obey with gritted teeth, only do whatever is asked while never offering one iota extra. In that case, I am obedient, I am submitting ....but externally. Surrender comes from the inside; letting go of expectations, feeling freed instead of fettered by my obedience. What catize wrote resonates with me. I don't have the time to do leadership's question justice, so I may have to come back later. A couple weeks ago, I realized that I have internalized his opinions, thoughts, expectations, etc to the point where I don't know what is his and what is mine. Are my thoughts and opinions (especially in regards to relationships and the lifestyle) his that I have internalized or mine? I can't imagine doing something different than the way he would want it done. I see my lack of expectations and that my will is so closely and almost completely aligned with his to be surrender. I am still me, but he is so much apart of who I am that I cannot seperate out those strands of which is him or me. For me, that is surrender. Those are a few quick thoughts that I have on surrender and I think it woud make a really good thread all on its own. Back to work now. Knight's Kyra

trueshadow -> RE: What exactly makes you think that you are Submissive? (4/20/2010 4:31:39 PM)
To be terribly crude, being submissive, thinking about submission, and remembering the various times when I've served a woman, it makes me hard. I think that qualifies as telling me I am a slave. I fantasize about it, I'm on these pages discussing it, I go to munches to meet fellow practitioners of the dark arts, and I play at parties as a bottom. OK?

JstAnotherSub -> RE: What exactly makes you think that you are Submissive? (4/20/2010 4:38:41 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: subtee ~FR I'm so submissive I ... don't even have control of my bladder. (Bah dum dum) hahaha that made me snort....and pee a lil bit too... that aint funny! [;)]

DickSteel -> RE: What exactly makes you think that you are Submissive? (4/21/2010 9:34:09 AM)
Only people who put "Your all a bunch of assholes and wankers!" in their profile ask questions like this. The rest of us know the secret answer and if we told you, we would have to kill you. quote: ORIGINAL: PravdaIsvestia So you call yourself a submissive or a slave? How do you define yourselves as such? Who gave you that title? Why do most people who call themselves such actually behave like they are dominant and in control?

RidiculedPiggy -> RE: What exactly makes you think that you are Submissive? (4/21/2010 10:43:49 AM)
Now without reading what many others may reply being I don't wish for it to influence how I may answer being this could be a really complex or simple question.. My Simple Response: i am submissive because i like seeing others smile? My Complex Reply: With myself as a child and even a teenager I always been compassionate about others, selfless, as a teenager I read romance novels, quickly felt like the heroines in the novels who may be strong to fight but in the end would submit their minds, hearts to their lover. In learning about BDSM, I quickly accepted myself into being a pet through my submission, even when I am unowned. I have been unowned for some time now, mainly being its hard to find the right person I can trust myself with completely but I know I would submit to as much as myself will allow me to. In the past I tried to switch however it was never through my own pleasure,it was to make others happy. I feel I am submissive because I choose to be. i could have made the same choice to be in control, but it doesn't make me happy. I choose to be at ones feet and lay out my submission, however I still need to find someone who accepts that from me, accepts my submission. From what i read many subs like myself are strong in their outside life but submissive to one person, I learned when growing into who I am now, a submissive has to be strong, being if they aren't in control of themselves they would be walked all over and most people in today's world would take advantage of that. I learned even though I am submissive,it doesn't mean I am submissive to every being. Although ::Chuckles:: At times I feel like I am submissive to this particular computer[;)]

forsaken555 -> RE: What exactly makes you think that you are Submissive? (4/27/2010 7:25:38 PM)
The fact that there are bad and false doms out there and real sexual predators hulking within the bdsm scene, means that a sub needs to maintain some sort of self-preservation instincts, otherwise, fun and play may become non-consensual horror reality. The problem is, many doms expect the sub to instantly trust them just because they are self-proclaimed doms, and when they find it hard to earn the sub's trust, they get annoyed and tell the sub, that they aren't being subs. I think I am sub because I enjoy being ordered around, forced to do sexual acts and verbally abused and being spanked and slapped around. I know I am not a dom, because I don't enjoy telling people what to do, and I don't get a kick out of dominating them. Infact if I had to tell a dom what to do, I'd grow uninterested, but most of the time if I do, it springs from lack of trust, more than anything else.

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