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RE: What is the Deal with all the Pro's - 4/5/2006 12:27:08 PM   
Arpig


Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline 		I agree with you about the emotional aspects of BDSM DarkSide, and also find it rather sad that there is a market for pro dommes (actually I find it rather sad that there is a market for any form of prostitution).

quote:

I do think it is a sexual service, but I do not feel it is prostitution.


This confuses me a little, if it is a sexual service, then how is it NOT prostitution? For the life of me, I am baffled, as the two statements (is sexual/isn't prostitution) are contradictory, either it is both, or it is neither, and there is no way that anybody can convincingly argue that it isn't a sexual service.

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(in reply to DarkSideOfThMoon)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: What is the Deal with all the Pro's - 4/5/2006 12:34:10 PM   
Arpig


Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline
quote:


quote:

My beef is with the "I am not a whore" facade...a pro domme is a whore..a classy whore, but still a whore.



I think you are being deliberately obtuse and disingenuous.


Hmmm really nice big words, too bad you don't know what they mean. It may be argued that my remarks are characterized by a lack of sensitivity, but that is it. as far as the rest...buy a dictionary and read it.
quote:

ob·tuse    ( P )  Pronunciation Key  (b-ts, -tys, b-)
adj. ob·tus·er, ob·tus·est



    Lacking quickness of perception or intellect.
    Characterized by a lack of intelligence or sensitivity: an obtuse remark.
    quote:

    dis·in·gen·u·ous    ( P )  Pronunciation Key  (dsn-jny-s)
    adj.

    1. Not straightforward or candid; insincere or calculating: “an ambitious, disingenuous, philistine, and hypocritical operator, who... exemplified... the most disagreeable traits of his time” (David Cannadine).
    2. Pretending to be unaware or unsophisticated; faux-naïf.
    3. Usage Problem. Unaware or uninformed; naive.



    _____________________________

    Big man! Pig Man!
    Ha Ha...Charade you are!

    Why do they leave out the letter b on "Garage Sale" signs?

    CM's #1 All-Time Also-Ran


    (in reply to Your Queen)
    Profile   Post #: 42
    RE: What is the Deal with all the Pro's - 4/5/2006 3:34:21 PM   
    petwolf22


    Posts: 343
    Joined: 9/5/2005
    Status: offline     		Except that's not a universally accepted definition.  Most everyone will agree that a person working on your car is a mechanic, the person checking your groceries is a cashier.  Not everyone agrees with your definition that a pro domme is a "hooker."

    Darkside...not everyone can "get it somewhere else".  i've worked as an exotic dancer for 4 years (yes, Arpig, call me what you will, doesn't matter a whit to me), and there are some men that come into those places that couldn't have any kind of interaction with a woman any other way (the fantasy of talking with a beautiful woman who doesn't reject them can't happen for them in reality.).  i've seen ones who don't seem to be all mentally there, who are so overweight that a dancer couldn't "grind" if she wanted to, who were past an age where 99.9% of the population of women under 35 would not find them physically attractive.  i fault the married men, the men who try to break my rules or the club's, not these kinds of people.

    The same goes for the professional domination.  i don't have much respect for the married subs who visit a pro domme (simply because it's typically a secret), but there are plenty of people for whom this is a good way for them to indulge their submissive tendencies.  Maybe not the life for a full out slave, but a sub or a masochist or fetishist, this may be the perfect outlet for them.

    What's sad is the people who don't realize it for what it is, who don't realize a lap dance is just a lap dance, an hour of domination is just a temporary fix to a need for submission.  But there are plenty of people who do realize what it is, and what it isn't, and who are we to fault them for taking part?

    (in reply to Arpig)
    Profile   Post #: 43
    RE: What is the Deal with all the Pro's - 4/5/2006 3:38:10 PM   
    Arpig


    Posts: 9930
    Joined: 1/3/2006
    From: Increasingly further from reality
    Status: offline     		actually petwolf, an exotic dancer is NOT a prostitute, however being th plain spoken person I am, I prefer the term stripper

    _____________________________

    Big man! Pig Man!
    Ha Ha...Charade you are!

    Why do they leave out the letter b on "Garage Sale" signs?

    CM's #1 All-Time Also-Ran


    (in reply to petwolf22)
    Profile   Post #: 44
    RE: What is the Deal with all the Pro's - 4/5/2006 3:46:42 PM   
    petwolf22


    Posts: 343
    Joined: 9/5/2005
    Status: offline     		Regardless of the sexual connotations of my job?  That the point is a sexual tease?  That not every man has lasted through a lap dance without "losing control"-with nothing different done for him than anyone else? () That's awfully kind of you.

    Why is a pro domme different?

    < Message edited by petwolf22 -- 4/5/2006 3:49:53 PM >

    (in reply to Arpig)
    Profile   Post #: 45
    RE: What is the Deal with all the Pro's - 4/5/2006 3:58:00 PM   
    Your Queen


    Posts: 25
    Joined: 1/10/2006
    Status: offline     		No mistake there.
    Lack of sensitivity  - you chose the word whore, not because you are a "plain speaker", but to upset and irritate the pro dommes. You are disingenuous because you are calling youself a "plain" speaker when you really mean word game player. You lack perception of the simple fact that it takes one to know one.
    Shall I pick one up for you while I'm in the bookstore?

    (in reply to Arpig)
    Profile   Post #: 46
    RE: What is the Deal with all the Pro's - 4/5/2006 3:59:34 PM   
    Arpig


    Posts: 9930
    Joined: 1/3/2006
    From: Increasingly further from reality
    Status: offline     		ok, you've got me there, if you do lap dances that cause somebody to "lose control" then yes I suppose that would classify as whoring, so have it your way, you are a whore as well.
    However, having frequented many a strip joint in my day, i can tell you there isn't a sexual thrill in it to me, it is nice to look at pretty naked women, but does it get me off?   Nope, sorry, it may put me in the mood but that's it.
    Lap dances are basically pathetic and I have only ever had one, and she and I ended up talking about all sorts of things that had nothing to do with grinding any bodyparts, since I couldn't keep a straight face while she was attempting to do her "dance".
    I do not consider striptease to be a sexual service, and therefore those who do it are not prostitutes. If a stripper provides an extra service that is sexual, then yup, she/he is a whore. It's really very simple.

    A pro domina is different in that she provides a sexual service, so she is no different than the streetwalker, the call girl, or the stripper who provides that little extra service.


    _____________________________

    Big man! Pig Man!
    Ha Ha...Charade you are!

    Why do they leave out the letter b on "Garage Sale" signs?

    CM's #1 All-Time Also-Ran


    (in reply to petwolf22)
    Profile   Post #: 47
    RE: What is the Deal with all the Pro's - 4/5/2006 4:10:09 PM   
    LadyMorgynn


    Posts: 800
    Joined: 11/25/2005
    From: N. Carolina
    Status: offline     		whore    ( P )  Pronunciation Key  (hôr, hr)
    n.
    1. A prostitute.
    2. A person considered sexually promiscuous.
    3. A person considered as having compromised principles for personal gain.

    pros·ti·tute    ( P )  Pronunciation Key  (prst-tt, -tyt)
    n.
    1. One who solicits and accepts payment for sex acts.
    2. One who sells one's abilities, talent, or name for an unworthy purpose.


    Many, but many, pro Dommes do not ever interact with their clients in a sexual manner.  No "private parts" are ever touch, much less intercourse or even oral sex. 

    You say that you don't consider strip-teasers or lap dancers whores unless they provide other sexual services, because YOU don't find them sexually stimulating... unless of course the guy loses control and cums right then, in which case they're a whore.   And yet, men watch strip-teasers, and go home and ejaculate, or maybe even have really fantastic sex with their wives/girlfriends because they are so turned on.  A submissive who has been permitted to slowly, gently and carefully remove a pro Domme's stockings, and to kiss and worship her feet, and to have a spanking over her knee, may also go home in a very aroused state.... yet the Domme is a whore?  It seems to me you are being very judgmental and selective in what you consider a whore to be.  Not to mention oddly narrow-minded for someone in this particular lifestyle.

    Since we are all here because we are into BDSM or kink or fetish or other alternative lifestyle of some sort, we can do away with the definitions above dealing with compromised principals and unworthy purposes.  With the definitions that are left... how, pray tell, do you come to your conclusion that pro Domme's are whores?

    quote:

    ORIGINAL: Arpig

    meh!...a whore is a whore is a whore


    < Message edited by LadyMorgynn -- 4/5/2006 4:41:57 PM >

    _____________________________

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    (in reply to Arpig)
    Profile   Post #: 48
    RE: What is the Deal with all the Pro's - 4/5/2006 4:35:42 PM   
    petwolf22


    Posts: 343
    Joined: 9/5/2005
    Status: offline     		thank you Lady Morgynn, that is what i was trying to say.

    well, not everyone sees strip clubs as you do...but i guess a man's lack of self control is my fault.  So be it.  Not everyone has the mental control that you apparently do when it comes to a strip club.  Good for you, really.  You're the rarity in the bunch.

    (in reply to LadyMorgynn)
    Profile   Post #: 49
    RE: What is the Deal with all the Pro's - 4/5/2006 4:41:57 PM   
    McWhips


    Posts: 136
    Joined: 5/9/2005
    Status: offline     		If there werent any Pro's/financial Mistresses here there would be hardly any Dommes here at all.  The reason purely being the skewed numbers, infact I have read somewhere that 25% of women in the fetish scene go into "prostitution" (not my words)(Most of those will obviously be Pro Dommes).  If you where to compare this to the amount of women who arent in the fetish scene and are prostitutes which is likely to be less than 0.1% then you can conclude the obvious that your chances of finding a partner are slim to none, hence why you will find mostly Pro Dommes on contact sites.  Its a shame I think as most people who are kinky are probably just as nice or as normal as everyone else but with a different sexuality.  Personally I dont think I would feel that good about myself if I knew I was taking money from people who where mainly doing so because they cant find a relationship and this is probably often the case as proved by the fact that maybe even most of the Dommes on most personals sites are looking for some kind of financial deal.  I would wonder how a Pro Domme would feel if she wanted a child but only 1 in 100 women where capabale of having a child once in their life meaning that many of the other 99% would have to rent the child from the 1 woman at a high price to bounce it up and down on her knee and feed it etc then when the hours up, back goes the child unless she has more money.  Personally I would be all for it if I had a child as I would be able to make a pretty decent living out of it but thats not a bad thing at all, its just demand and supply and I would be doing a valuable service, it really would be little different from Pro Domming so yes, its all fine.  

    Its all part of the human condition, if people can they will.  If people where prepared to work for £1 an hour and live in a caravan then thats what the employer would pay you (The employer being the part of the can and will condition).  If there was no law at all you would see fires, death, destruction and violence all over the place.  If people can they will. 

    < Message edited by McWhips -- 4/5/2006 5:07:27 PM >

    (in reply to LadyMorgynn)
    Profile   Post #: 50
    RE: What is the Deal with all the Pro's - 4/5/2006 5:27:26 PM   
    McWhips


    Posts: 136
    Joined: 5/9/2005
    Status: offline
    quote:

    ORIGINAL: spoiledbrat

       I read one lady come right out and ask or say if you can not buy her a new house then dont bother her.   
     


    Why hold a gun to someones head for ransom money then go to jail if your a Domme? no need.  Just use your position as a ransom bargain.  

    (in reply to spoiledbrat)
    Profile   Post #: 51
    RE: What is the Deal with all the Pro's - 4/5/2006 5:41:36 PM   
    Real0ne


    Posts: 21189
    Joined: 10/25/2004
    Status: offline
    quote:

    ORIGINAL: michaelGA

    please note the third entry from the Profile Text restrictions:

    No Contact Info: Phone, Email, Instant Messenger. No links to websites.

    No Criticism of other users. No mention of illegal activities.

    No references to financial slavery.



    This is very interesting since pro domination "IS" illegal in some states and a persons slavery as a client to a pro domme is in fact "FINANCIAL".

    i would think that pro dommes are in violation of the tos on one count and in some cases two counts.

    in any case my views about segregating pros just as they have every other group are well known, but i agree with the OP


    _____________________________

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    (in reply to michaelGA)
    Profile   Post #: 52
    RE: What is the Deal with all the Pro's - 4/5/2006 6:14:30 PM   
    LadyMorgynn


    Posts: 800
    Joined: 11/25/2005
    From: N. Carolina
    Status: offline     		I have a hard time correlating financial slavery with paying for a service.  It gives me a very odd idea of what you think financial slavery is.

    quote:

    ORIGINAL: Real0ne
    This is very interesting since pro domination "IS" illegal in some states and a persons slavery as a client to a pro domme is in fact "FINANCIAL".



    _____________________________

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    Lady Morgynn
    www.farhorizons.net/LadyMorgynn

    (in reply to Real0ne)
    Profile   Post #: 53
    RE: What is the Deal with all the Pro's - 4/5/2006 6:18:32 PM   
    petwolf22


    Posts: 343
    Joined: 9/5/2005
    Status: offline     		"no mention of illegal activities"

    illegal where?  If that's the case, no one should mention the words "anal sex", because that's still illegal in some states.

    What harm have pro dommes actually done on this site except to get people to bitch and moan in the forums without having ever actually done anything to that person?

    It's like the profiles of the people who are owned, or the people who don't fit your search criteria.  Skip over it, sheesh, and stop making it so personal.

    (in reply to Real0ne)
    Profile   Post #: 54
    RE: What is the Deal with all the Pro's - 4/5/2006 9:58:20 PM   
    PrinceSitri


    Posts: 99
    Joined: 3/28/2006
    Status: offline
    quote:

    ORIGINAL: Arpig

    meh!...a whore is a whore is a whore


    And ...?


    _____________________________

    "Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."
    Albert Einstein

    (in reply to Arpig)
    Profile   Post #: 55
    RE: What is the Deal with all the Pro's - 4/5/2006 10:06:47 PM   
    PrinceSitri


    Posts: 99
    Joined: 3/28/2006
    Status: offline
    quote:

    ORIGINAL: Arpig

    quote:

    it is a service ...simple .... a paid service and if professional about it  ... it can be respectful

    So are blow jobs out behind the bar..don't get me wrong, I don't in anyway disrespect you for being a pro, i am just a little tired of the BS...
    quote:

    No more than a physical therpist ...

    Yeah right!!! Come on, you are a sex worker, and that is all there is to it, it doesn't matter if you have intercourse or not, the point is you provide a sexual service for money. Like fastlane said, its legal in someplaces, and in others its not, that and the legal definition of prostitution in any given jurisdiction are irrelevant, it is what it is, and therefore you are what you are, stop mincing words and just be honest about it for God's sake.



    I agree entirely, but I disagree with the implication that sex workers should feel ashamed of what they do for a living. Or maybe I'm misreading all of this - I'm not exactly at my sharpest at the moment.


    _____________________________

    "Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."
    Albert Einstein

    (in reply to Arpig)
    Profile   Post #: 56
    RE: What is the Deal with all the Pro's - 4/5/2006 10:13:51 PM   
    PrinceSitri


    Posts: 99
    Joined: 3/28/2006
    Status: offline
    quote:

    ORIGINAL: michaelGA

    maybe it's just me, but doesn't a ProDom(me) seek Financial Slavery?


    Some do, some don't.


    _____________________________

    "Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."
    Albert Einstein

    (in reply to michaelGA)
    Profile   Post #: 57
    RE: What is the Deal with all the Pro's - 4/5/2006 10:15:02 PM   
    PrettyNYkitten


    Posts: 27
    Joined: 1/1/2004
    Status: offline     		I am not a former escort nor am I a former exotic dancer; in fact, I am a former high school English teacher with both degrees from New York University, and I find it rather sad that there are so many misinformed people who think that prodommes are prostitutes. I do not have sex with my clients, and nor do I allow them to sexually please me.  I presently earn my living by prodomination and personal training.  I enjoy helping overweight, out of shape people better themselves and enjoy a healthier lifestyle.  If I didn't choose these two professions, I could be teaching Hamet and MacBeth at the junior college and senior high school levels. 

    I also find it highly amusing that there the so-called dominant men who are calling prodommes whores are so unattractive; they might do better if they were in shape, and they had neatly groomed hair and faces.  I wonder what they have to offer their submissive ladies, or perhaps the submissive ladies are no better than they are.

    Regards,
    Caitlin

    (in reply to Arpig)
    Profile   Post #: 58
    RE: What is the Deal with all the Pro's - 4/5/2006 10:18:15 PM   
    PrettyNYkitten


    Posts: 27
    Joined: 1/1/2004
    Status: offline     		In reading over some of these posts, I have come to the conclusion that some of you people are out of your minds. Many prodommes are mothers, and many of them protect their children from the scene. I have two children myself, and my other life is locked away from them.

    (in reply to PrettyNYkitten)
    Profile   Post #: 59
    RE: What is the Deal with all the Pro's - 4/5/2006 10:20:02 PM   
    Real0ne


    Posts: 21189
    Joined: 10/25/2004
    Status: offline
    quote:

    ORIGINAL: LadyMorgynn

    I have a hard time correlating financial slavery with paying for a service.  It gives me a very odd idea of what you think financial slavery is.

    quote:

    ORIGINAL: Real0ne
    This is very interesting since pro domination "IS" illegal in some states and a persons slavery as a client to a pro domme is in fact "FINANCIAL".




    Oh ok, no problem, maybe the definition will help you.

    fi·nan·cial   KEY  
    ADJECTIVE:
    Of, relating to, or involving finance, finances, or financiers.

    fi·nance      KEY 
    NOUN:
    The supplying of funds or capital.




    _____________________________

    "We the Borg" of the us imperialists....resistance is futile

    Democracy; The 'People' voted on 'which' amendment?

    Yesterdays tinfoil is today's reality!

    "No man's life, liberty, or property is safe while the legislature is in session

    (in reply to LadyMorgynn)
    Profile   Post #: 60
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