MasterCord -> RE: Iceland Volcano and the Grounding of European Flights (4/16/2010 9:56:08 AM)
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No one should worry. President Obama, working with the EPA and the global warming cabral...er....science community... is preparing emergency legislation with the Congress. He has directed the EPA to immediately order a 64% reduction in volcanic emissions, with the remaining 36% to be phased out over the next 6 weeks. This effectively means that the volcanoes, previously created by ex-President Bush and whose eruption was clearly the fault of that ex-President's policies, will meet Tier III emissions standards immediately, and the Tier IV standards will be rushed into early application. "We must once and for all end this scourge of volcanic emissions. I have therefore allocated $3.6 trillion, to help in the promotion of new technologies to end the world volcanic scourge. This will create over 945 million new jobs here in the United States alone. So of course, we will need to speed through the Congress, immigration legislation that will allow us to bring in skilled foreigners to populate these new exciting industries, and to allow current aliens to remain. This is no time for petty party bickering. In order to fund this legislation, the income tax rate for anyone we consider wealthy will be raised to 107%. I know this will be a harship for people who actually work and earn money, but the catastrophe is clear and we must act now." The President warned that if the volcanoes do not comply, President Obama will nationalize them. In the Republican response to the President's call to action....there was rare agreement from across the political aisle. Speaking for the Republicans, former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin hailed the President's plan for bringing in immigrants to deal with the issue. "Clearly, if we bring in that many aliens, we can stuff them down the into the volcanoes to choke and seal the volcano and thus end the threat. The President can count on my support on this one". Film at 11......
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