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littlesarbonn -> RE: Objectification by "submissives" (8/26/2006 3:02:11 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster
Dommes talk about this a lot, and from what I've seen from some male subs, they have a legitimate gripe. A lot of male subs seem to think of a domme as a walking incarnation of their nasty little fantasies--not as a flesh-and-blood human being with feelings, wants, needs, desires.
quote:
ORIGINAL: WhiteRadiance
How many Dominant Women feel that they have been treated as an object by a submissive?
The funny thing is, and this is what no one is actually talking about, or will, is that when someone tries to appeal to a dominant woman on these boards (not every, but definitely on these boards and in profile contacts), if the male submissive puts forth that he is interested in her for her mind, her desires, her wants and needs, he gets as much of a response as he would if he wrote her and said "Hey, Babe, can I have some sex with that?". Quite often, the dominants I've observed claim to want one thing but never respond to that one thing so that the guys who might learn from their desires have zero reinforcement to cause them to think their contact process and inference of rationality has any reason to be looked at in the first place. I can't even count the number of times where I see a complaint about how a woman would love to be contacted by a sincere submissive, but then turns around and never responds to any of the sincere submissives. Then we get the usual "well, I did, and now we're married" and such. The brass ring successes really don't motivate guys to change their ways. How one person out of twenty thousand succeeded isn't going to cause them to change their ways if they don't see any positive reinforcement for their own actions.
The whole objectification thing takes new meaning when you realize that even sincere submissive objectify the women they wish to contact. It's rare to the point of practically nonexistant that a man who is seeking a dominant woman isn't going to be somewhat influenced by the fact that she also happens to be attractive in some way that appeals to the guy. Calling that objectification demeans the very nature of what objectification stands for. It's like the whole idea of observable standards need to be thrown completely out the window, and every submissive must be attracted to a woman who may have disgusting habits and cares less about her own health than she cares about what's on TV tonight while at the same time feels because of the misproportion of numbers of submissive men to dominant women, that's okay and guys should be happy to settle with whatever they can get. And then women get upset when these guys put forth a profile that indicates that they're interested in ANY woman. There are enough complaints of that nature in this thread alone.
What it comes down to is that everyone seems to be falling into a Groucho Marx standard of seeking someone else: "I wouldn't be with someone who would want to be with me" kind of attitude.
Now, this may seem strange coming from someone like me because physical attributes are not the first thing I look for in a potential partner. I'm old enough that the mind and personality are of significant importance. Looks are great, too, but I often find that if I sought out a very attractive woman, irregardless of mind and personality, I often came across someone who was so high on herself because of her physical attributes that I rarely had the chance to experience her mind or personality.
Anyway, I'm rambling on now, so I'll stop.
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