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WhiteRadiance -> RE: Objectification by "submissives" (8/29/2006 1:18:32 PM)
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I want to thank everyone for their thoughtful replies.
The entire reason I posted under "Ask a Mistress" is to hear the female opinion. Reading through these posts it is clear that men think merely admiring the female form is objectification. This is not the case at all, IMHO.
Nor am I of the opinion that what motivates the sub is irrelevant. Of course what he wants is important, otherwise I do not get what I want. It is absurd for any dominant to think it is "all about me".. NOTHING is all about me. I have to keep my slave happy, so he will be motivated to serve me.
It is a catch-22.. You have to appeal to your prey.. and what better way than to write the flashy phrases and post a pretty picture to get their attention? When the sub takes the "bait".. it is imperative that the Domme let him know she is A REAL PERSON. But in many cases, it is clear that the submissive has no desire for reality. He is quite happy to live in fantasy-land where there are pretty pictures in abundance and naughty words to make him quiver. Such subs will write a stranger vowing their devotion,love and servitude- all based on a picture and nothing more..
If said "sub" finds a REAL domme, (by real I mean as in a relationship)...he very often will try to shape her to be like someone in a story, or get her to wear something he has seen in a photo. Maybe he appreciates her as she is, but she COULD "improve", for him... Perhaps he does not mean to insult her individuality, or to say, "You are not good enough, you need this prop to be complete for me".. but this, in essence, is what he is conveying. After he gets his relationship with his woman, he still drools after every piece of leather he sees.. To me, this is objectification. I understand it means different things to different people, and when I objectify my slave it means something else.. (such as turning him into furniture) ...
We all want to feel appreciated for who we are.. not WHAT we are... and I think males feel the same.
Thank you all for your replies. It has been quite enlightening! :)
P.S. beautiful post, amayos.
quote:
ORIGINAL: amayos
quote:
ORIGINAL: underyourlash
I don't get how simple human motivation, "like what's in it for me", is expected to be somehow left out of the equation. It's illogical; even if it's couched in different terms or expressed in another way, it's still there.
Quite true. Even the most literal (albiet consensual) contemporary slave in this sense is propelled by internal motivation, but it is not a motivation that points to egocentric escapism or feeding oneself on some disparate fetish. From my point of view—and surely that of many others—an ideal slave desires to become an extension and reflection of his or her owner's will—their pleasure lies in the owner's pleasure defining theirs.
In my mind, what the opening post refers to—though perhaps so directly it feels like an ungarnished platter upon which a fish still retaining its head is served—are the underlying tenets of capturing one through desire. It is without question in my mind that as dominant creatures we are to be beautiful, wise and powerful, and in being thus, wield our charms and devices to ensnare and beguile. Of course, physical idolatry is but a gateway of lesser cantrips leading to those deeper hooks lying in wait. Or at least, so does a would-be captured soul pray.
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