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How do you punish a masochist? - 4/17/2010 9:20:53 AM   
ParanoidSadist


Posts: 49
Joined: 3/30/2010
Status: offline 		By treating her like a princess, right? I don't really understand masochists so much. How common is it for a "hit-me" masochist to be an emotional masochist? How common is it for a "hit-me" masochist to be submissive? Do "hit-me" masochists enjoy humiliation, or is that just emotional masochists?
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RE: How do you punish a masochist? - 4/17/2010 10:11:05 AM   
RealSub58


Posts: 1073
Status: offline 		I cannot answer the questions in the body of the OP but to the question, how do you punish a masochist, I would say, do not give into the need/want to be hit.

Try the mind fuck of arousal and foreplay. them give nothing.

(in reply to ParanoidSadist)
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RE: How do you punish a masochist? - 4/17/2010 10:12:07 AM   
kanina


Posts: 147
Joined: 11/19/2009
Status: offline 		I consider myself a masochist and the way punish works is by knowing that the dom is angry or sad etc with me... even if the causes me pain it is different...

_____________________________

Non nobis, domine, sed domine Tuo da gloriam

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RE: How do you punish a masochist? - 4/17/2010 10:29:04 AM   
NIrelandSubF


Posts: 47
Joined: 10/28/2005
Status: offline 		On the very rare occasions it's been necessary, he's made it clear I've displeased him and left me strictly alone for a day or so to think about it, generally resulting in my spending a sleepless night beating myself up mentally for whatever I've done. Certainly something I prefer to avoid.

For the other questions - I'm probably primarily a 'hit me' masochist, but with quite a strong sub side which only seems to come out for certain Doms, of which JR is one. I'm not an emotional masochist, nor am I overly keen on humiliation.

< Message edited by NIrelandSubF -- 4/17/2010 10:36:08 AM >

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RE: How do you punish a masochist? - 4/17/2010 10:43:49 AM   
afkarr


Posts: 328
Joined: 1/13/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ParanoidSadist

By treating her like a princess, right? I don't really understand masochists so much. How common is it for a "hit-me" masochist to be an emotional masochist? How common is it for a "hit-me" masochist to be submissive? Do "hit-me" masochists enjoy humiliation, or is that just emotional masochists?




Even masochists need love sometimes.......want to "punish"? Refuse to beat me up, or pamper me. Generally just ignore me. Although as I don't quite get the whole punishment concept between adults, you just might find yourself getting ignored right back.

Best answer I have, I guess I'm not an emotional masochist; and frankly find that idea somewhat unhealthy for one who is.

< Message edited by afkarr -- 4/17/2010 10:44:17 AM >

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RE: How do you punish a masochist? - 4/17/2010 10:57:28 AM   
ParanoidSadist


Posts: 49
Joined: 3/30/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kanina

I consider myself a masochist and the way punish works is by knowing that the dom is angry or sad etc with me... even if the causes me pain it is different...
That sort of makes me feel warm and fuzzy...anyway, so all I have to do is be an honest sadist?

So not hitting her and leaving her alone can serve as punishment as well? I'm not sure about ignoring though. Don't emotional masochists like to feel ignored and powerless?

(in reply to kanina)
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RE: How do you punish a masochist? - 4/17/2010 11:02:53 AM   
Toppingfrmbottom


Posts: 6528
Joined: 6/7/2009
Status: offline 		There is no one way answer to this, it will vary from masochist to masochist.

quote:

ORIGINAL: ParanoidSadist

By treating her like a princess, right? I don't really understand masochists so much. How common is it for a "hit-me" masochist to be an emotional masochist? How common is it for a "hit-me" masochist to be submissive? Do "hit-me" masochists enjoy humiliation, or is that just emotional masochists?


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RE: How do you punish a masochist? - 4/17/2010 11:39:45 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		Do something to her that she doesn't like.  Obviously, that varies from sub to sub.

And if you don;t know her enough to know what she doesn't like, you shouldn't be trying to discipline her.


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The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

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RE: How do you punish a masochist? - 4/17/2010 12:42:47 PM   
Wolf2Bear


Posts: 3204
Joined: 9/6/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ParanoidSadist

By treating her like a princess, right? I don't really understand masochists so much. How common is it for a "hit-me" masochist to be an emotional masochist? How common is it for a "hit-me" masochist to be submissive? Do "hit-me" masochists enjoy humiliation, or is that just emotional masochists?



Obviously, you've never really sat and had an in depth talk with one who identifies as a masochist. The first thing you need to understand is most of us do not constantly seek to feel pain just for the sake of feeling pain. Yes we do enjoy pain sensations though usually it's when we are playing with another or our S/O who happens to be sadistic in nature. Many of us do seek pain sensations as an enhancement to sexe, though not always. There are other times when a deep need/craving reaches a point where we crave to have a play session that involves strictly percussion play that produces pain sensations which we are able to translate it to pleasure also. If you cut through all the whys and wherefores, we derive emotional and physical pleasure from the intense endorphins our bodies produce when we feel certain types of pain. Every masochist has their own concept and this is mine.


_____________________________

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Take the pain
Take the pleasure
I'm the master of both
Close your eyes, not your mind
Let me into your soul
I'm gonna work it 'til your totally blown

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RE: How do you punish a masochist? - 4/17/2010 1:21:04 PM   
myotherself


Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline 		What Bear said!



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RE: How do you punish a masochist? - 4/17/2010 2:23:44 PM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ParanoidSadist

How do you punish a masochist?

Exactly the same way I'd punish my sub if she wasn't a masochist - the withdrawal of my attention. If I'm punishing her, it means she's done something to actually make me angry. I don't like being angry and it takes me awhile to cool down. So she gets to spend that time in the corner being ignored. Effectively, we're now both being punished - and I ensure she knows that, too....

Soooo, what's being a masochist got to do with any of it? And being denied my girl is why I hate punishment. But done right, it's such an effective teaching tool and dynamic. A "stitch in time saves nine" et al....

Focus.

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RE: How do you punish a masochist? - 4/17/2010 3:27:14 PM   
Andalusite


Posts: 2492
Joined: 1/25/2009
Status: offline 		Being treated like a princess wouldn't be a punishment. I've only been punished twice, when I was with my previous Dominant for 3 years. I did get aroused during punishment one of those two times, in spite of feeling bad emotionally that he was disappointed in me. It messed with my being able to enjoy regular non-punishment scenes for a week or two afterward, because I felt so strongly that I wasn't supposed to respond that way, and felt guilty and upset about it. I told my Master about the way I reacted, and he feels there are more effective ways to punish me. I try to be his good girl and please him always, and so far, he hasn't felt the need to punish me. If he does, I'm sure he will come up with something that fits the crime, and that I won't like. I am both submissive toward him and fairly masochistic, but there are plenty of physical kinds of pain I don't much like, especially if there isn't any warmup. My pain tolerance doesn't work the same way every time, and I've associated taking even unpleasant pain for him, suffering because he wants me to, to the point where even if I'm sobbing or screaming, I can hate it and love it at the same time. It can be very bittersweet. Corner time, like Focus mentions, or writing sentences like someone had pyro do once, or being made to pay for everything with coins like someone else had to do (she kept losing her wallet, I think) aren't likely to appeal to anyone's masochistic side.

(in reply to Focus50)
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RE: How do you punish a masochist? - 4/17/2010 4:43:13 PM   
whiteslavebitch


Posts: 479
Joined: 9/10/2007
Status: offline 		I am a masochist, however it is possible to physically punish me. A large part of it is in knowing he is displeased with me, that makes it impossible for me to enjoy the sensations. He also used (it has only happened once) an implement he usually
doesn't use during play


For milder infractions, a comment or disappointed look is sufficient for me to correct
my behavior.

< Message edited by whiteslavebitch -- 4/17/2010 4:44:46 PM >

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RE: How do you punish a masochist? - 4/17/2010 6:24:20 PM   
slaveatia


Posts: 7
Joined: 2/5/2010
Status: offline 		The easiest way to punish any sub/slave... maso or not is ignoring them... The pain that being ignored by your One causes is completely different than that which a maso enjoys. 

(in reply to whiteslavebitch)
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RE: How do you punish a masochist? - 4/17/2010 6:43:07 PM   
petmonkey


Posts: 1053
Joined: 7/7/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveatia

The easiest way to punish any sub/slave... maso or not is ignoring them... The pain that being ignored by your One causes is completely different than that which a maso enjoys. 


This is obvious but i want to mention it anyway: remember to announce in detail why you've disappeared on them prior to doing so.  As a contented lil' loner, i once spent a happy, golden Saturday crafting away, enjoying a nice walk and having a good sprawling nap when my then D-type expected to find me contrite and apologetic on Sunday after a day of hand-wringing and woe-is.


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Be excellent to each other.


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RE: How do you punish a masochist? - 4/17/2010 6:51:41 PM   
OrpheusAgonistes


Posts: 253
Joined: 3/29/2010
Status: offline 		You have an eerily acute understanding of the masochistic mindset.  The best way to punish me is usually to take me to a really nice restaurant.  If I've been a particularly naughty boy, Per Se or Benoit would be utter agony.

If that still doesn't do the trick. a couple of shirt from Turnbull and Asser and a bespoke jacket from Poole & Co. or Nutters (depending on your taste) will really put me in my place.  A truly diabolical sadist, not wanting to stop there, might force me to pick out a Tank wristwatch and top it all off with a bottle of Clive Christian No. 1.

Masochists, of course, live on the other side of the mirror, in Yenne Velt, where we offer prayers to be favored with plagues and pestilence from Lilith in front of altars of broken stone.  There is no need to worry about nuance and shading--the world is just an assembly line of identical urges and impulses.


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What I cannot create, I do not understand.--Feynman

Every sentence I have written here is the product of some disease.-- Wittgenstein

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RE: How do you punish a masochist? - 4/17/2010 6:56:32 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		The deal on this is, you need to know how to punish your masochist.  Depending on who you are dealing with is going to change things on a case by case basis.

Just because a person likes physical pain during play, doesn't mean they are going to like the same kind of pain when it's mixed with knowing they've disappointed their Owner in some way.  If you happen to be a person who plays with others, taking the play away from your sub and specifically playing with someone else is a situation that most masochists don't care for. 

Punishment for an emotional masochist doesn't have to play into that person's kink.  Use something completely different.  If they hate writing, tell them the essay that you expect them to accomplish that is linked to what the problem is about.  Remove their masturbation privileges for a period of time.  You can almost always think of an idea that revolves around why they are being punished in the first place and give them something related to it that has nothing to do with kink.


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The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

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(in reply to ParanoidSadist)
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RE: How do you punish a masochist? - 4/17/2010 7:03:31 PM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline 		Be nice to her.

~Leers~
Masochist: Master Master, beat me.
Sadist: No.

Now if you really wanna cut deep, look her in the eyes and tell her how disappointed in her you are.


_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

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RE: How do you punish a masochist? - 4/17/2010 7:20:13 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Why do you need to punish her? Why not talk about what you want, and help her achieve it?

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Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


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RE: How do you punish a masochist? - 4/17/2010 8:53:45 PM   
GraciousLady


Posts: 529
Joined: 7/7/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ParanoidSadist

By treating her like a princess, right? I don't really understand masochists so much. How common is it for a "hit-me" masochist to be an emotional masochist? How common is it for a "hit-me" masochist to be submissive? Do "hit-me" masochists enjoy humiliation, or is that just emotional masochists?



The way I punish my subs is to withdraw myself from them. A submissive of any kind craves and needs the attention of thier Dominant.

(in reply to ParanoidSadist)
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