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Controlling your sub - 4/17/2010 12:18:30 PM

Steponme73

Posts: 552
Joined: 11/9/2007
Status: offline

I read the profiles of dominant women who are on CM, and it seems to me that they seem to feel that they have to use vulgarity to get their point across. Do you find in necessary to use vulgar language to control? I have a hard time understanding why that would be necessary. You can humilate and degrade a slave without vulgarity. I find it much more exciting with out the "f word". Any thoughts?

Post #: 1

RE: Controlling your sub - 4/17/2010 12:38:57 PM

Venatrix

Posts: 2238
Joined: 11/28/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Steponme73

Do you find in necessary to use vulgar language to control?

Absolutely fucking not.

All joking aside, I've no interest in humiliating or degrading the men in my life. If you're part of my life, it's because I think you're pretty special. I don't have time to waste on those who aren't.

(in reply to Steponme73)

Post #: 2

RE: Controlling your sub - 4/17/2010 12:44:04 PM

SylvereApLeanan

Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
Status: offline

I've read the profiles of dominant women who are regular posters to the boards and very few of them contain profanity. Did it ever occur to you that you're looking at a very small cross-section that is not representative of the total population?

In any case, I use profanity when it suits me. If I feel like dropping an f-bomb, I will. If I feel it's necessary to make a point or just to make me feel better while I'm venting, then it's necessary. If I feel it's necessary because I like the reaction I get from it, then it's definitely necessary. It has nothing to do with needing to use profanity to control a sub and everything to do with satisfying myself. In other words, as with most other D/s scenarios, it's not about "you" (the sub) it's about Me.

_____________________________

Sylverë
Dark Muse
30 Fluffy Points
Grumpy Cat is my spirit animal.
Shadow Governess & Mean Girl

"There's something that doesn't make sense. Let's go and poke it with a stick."— The Doctor

(in reply to Steponme73)

Post #: 3

RE: Controlling your sub - 4/17/2010 1:02:12 PM

zephyroftheNorth

Posts: 8159
Joined: 10/5/2009
From: The Great Frozen North
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Venatrix

quote:

ORIGINAL: Steponme73

Do you find in necessary to use vulgar language to control?

Absolutely fucking not.

All joking aside, I've no interest in humiliating or degrading the men in my life. If you're part of my life, it's because I think you're pretty special. I don't have time to waste on those who aren't.

Awww Ven and I was hoping you would take me on and swear at me a lot.......oh well, another kink killed for lack of being fulfilled. Back to the drawing board.

_____________________________

And there's a smile when the pain comes
The pain gonna make ev'rything alright ~ Black Crows

Team Troll Trollop
Member: Cocksuckers For World Peace
Charter member: Lance's Fag Hags
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(in reply to Venatrix)

Post #: 4

RE: Controlling your sub - 4/17/2010 1:04:45 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

I'm looking at this in two different ways......

On My profile, I don't have it. That doesn't mean to say that I don't use it when speaking.

On the other hand, during play, I absolutely will use more colorful language due to the atmosphere that I am trying to create:

"I'm going to fuck you because you belong to Me and that's what I do with My property."

"What a good lil slut. You want to be fucked, don't you?"

You get the idea.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to SylvereApLeanan)

Post #: 5

RE: Controlling your sub - 4/17/2010 1:05:10 PM

Venatrix

Posts: 2238
Joined: 11/28/2007
Status: offline

Stupid cunt.

(Sheesh. The things I do to make people happy.)

(in reply to zephyroftheNorth)

Post #: 6

RE: Controlling your sub - 4/17/2010 1:08:18 PM

VaguelyCurious

Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Venatrix

Stupid cunt.

(Sheesh. The things I do to make people happy.)

Does that make Zephy a do-me?

_____________________________

Sthetic on FetLife.

(in reply to Venatrix)

Post #: 7

RE: Controlling your sub - 4/17/2010 1:13:56 PM

zephyroftheNorth

Posts: 8159
Joined: 10/5/2009
From: The Great Frozen North
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Venatrix

Stupid cunt.

(Sheesh. The things I do to make people happy.)

*wipes a tear* Thank you Ven, I greatly appreciate it.

VC it makes me a do-me slave which is a rare cousin to the do-me sub. Errr to clarify that means I love it when Master "does" me.

_____________________________

And there's a smile when the pain comes
The pain gonna make ev'rything alright ~ Black Crows

Team Troll Trollop
Member: Cocksuckers For World Peace
Charter member: Lance's Fag Hags
Member: Subbie Mafia
Member: Hibbie's Hotties

(in reply to Venatrix)

Post #: 8

RE: Controlling your sub - 4/17/2010 1:20:53 PM

Venatrix

Posts: 2238
Joined: 11/28/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: zephyroftheNorth

*wipes a tear* Thank you Ven, I greatly appreciate it.

Don't mention it. I'm always happy to swear at a friend.

(in reply to zephyroftheNorth)

Post #: 9

RE: Controlling your sub - 4/17/2010 1:23:26 PM

SweetDommes

Posts: 3313
Joined: 10/5/2004
Status: offline

I don't think there is much (if any) cussing in the profile. I try to keep my foul language to a minimum ... but working in a prison makes it difficult.

Like LP said, though, sometimes it just sets a tone that is fun.

_____________________________

Miss Karen and Miss Holly

Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

Friends are God's apology for relatives

(in reply to zephyroftheNorth)

Post #: 10

RE: Controlling your sub - 4/17/2010 1:28:25 PM

zephyroftheNorth

Posts: 8159
Joined: 10/5/2009
From: The Great Frozen North
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Venatrix

quote:

ORIGINAL: zephyroftheNorth

*wipes a tear* Thank you Ven, I greatly appreciate it.

Don't mention it. I'm always happy to swear at a friend.

I'll repay the favor any time, you can count on me.....friend. *wipes another tear and goes to look for a tissue*

_____________________________

And there's a smile when the pain comes
The pain gonna make ev'rything alright ~ Black Crows

Team Troll Trollop
Member: Cocksuckers For World Peace
Charter member: Lance's Fag Hags
Member: Subbie Mafia
Member: Hibbie's Hotties

(in reply to Venatrix)

Post #: 11

RE: Controlling your sub - 4/17/2010 1:41:04 PM

Steponme73

Posts: 552
Joined: 11/9/2007
Status: offline

Thanks Ven...you always know the right things to say!

(in reply to zephyroftheNorth)

Post #: 12

RE: Controlling your sub - 4/17/2010 2:30:14 PM

Lockit

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

I think out of most the domina's that post around here, I have the foulest language. lol And my first sentence on my profile says... Do not call me goddess until you see lightening coming from my fingertips and striking you on your sorry ass. Or something like that.

Do I need to curse to keep a submissive in control? No. Typically when dealing with a relationship issue, I am not cussing. I may be teaching, instructing or working something out. I would say that if I am not cussing when speaking to someone... that would be the most important time to pay attention because I am not playing, I am so serious, you might get a heartache out of the deal, if you don't. (Not to mean I cuss all the time when I speak, but I do a lot of the time.) I can cuss when I am mad, but if I am that mad, you are already half the way out that door. I get mad when someone pushes me so much that I do get mad and then I am angrier with them because I don't like to get mad.

I curse for many reasons and it is just a part of who I am and where I come from and I see no need to change it. I look at it this way... I could stop cursing, but someone having a problem with me because I cuss, wouldn't make it a week in my life. I am not a lady-like woman all the time. If someone needs me to be, then I am not the dominant woman for them. If not the cursing, it will be something else that turns them off their expectations of what a woman or dominant is.

I am comfortable in my own skin and need a submissive to be comfortable with me being who I am. I can be in a board meeting, making a speech, a church, a bar, or anywhere and act according to that place and people, but anyone telling me how to act or expecting me to act a certain way, won't work well with me.

In play, you can bet somebodies sweet tail end I am going to curse. Not to humiliate them, but to enhance our fun. Even curse words can be nice words.

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!

(in reply to Steponme73)

Post #: 13

RE: Controlling your sub - 4/17/2010 3:43:43 PM

Andalusite

Posts: 2492
Joined: 1/25/2009
Status: offline

The strongest cuss words I usually use are heck and sheesh, and maybe bitch once in a rare while.

Some people enjoy verbal humiliation, such as slut, fuckmeat, etc. - I consider that to be different from cussing *about* something. When I have felt the need to insult someone, I can do it pretty effectively without foul language. I do think it would be amusing to use Shakespearean insults or some such during a scene, though.

< Message edited by Andalusite -- 4/17/2010 3:46:09 PM >

(in reply to Lockit)

Post #: 14

RE: Controlling your sub - 4/17/2010 4:41:20 PM

LadyAngelika

Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline

I think that someone that needs to use vulgarity in order to hope to control someone has absolutely no clue what she (or he) is doing.

The odd vulgar word has impact in the grand scheme of things, but in general, I try to avoid them. Besides, there are so many more powerful words and in the end, it's all in the tone.

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to Steponme73)

Post #: 15

RE: Controlling your sub - 4/17/2010 5:48:46 PM

slvemike4u

Posts: 17896
Joined: 1/15/2008
From: United States
Status: offline

Fuckin A,....Lady Angelika......fuckin a !!!!!!!

_____________________________

If we want things to stay as they are,things will have to change...Tancredi from "the Leopard"

Forget Guns-----Ban the pools

Funny stuff....https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eNwFf991d-4

(in reply to LadyAngelika)

Post #: 16

RE: Controlling your sub - 4/17/2010 5:51:53 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Andalusite

The strongest cuss words I usually use are heck and sheesh, and maybe bitch once in a rare while. Some people enjoy verbal humiliation, such as slut, fuckmeat, etc. - I consider that to be different from cussing *about* something. When I have felt the need to insult someone, I can do it pretty effectively without foul language. I do think it would be amusing to use Shakespearean insults or some such during a scene, though.

"That's a good drab"
Just doesn't seem to do it for me.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to Andalusite)

Post #: 17

RE: Controlling your sub - 4/17/2010 6:12:19 PM

Andalusite

Posts: 2492
Joined: 1/25/2009
Status: offline

Thou impertinent rampallian wench! I meant something more like this.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Antony and Cleopatra by William Shakespeare
Hence, horrible villain, or I'll spurn thine eyes like balls before me; I'll unhair thy head, Thou shalt be whipp'd with wire, and stew'd'in brine, smarting in lingering pickle.

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 18

RE: Controlling your sub - 4/17/2010 7:07:57 PM

LadyAngelika

Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: slvemike4u

Fuckin A,....Lady Angelika......fuckin a !!!!!!!

And when men get vulgar, I get the gag ball!

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to slvemike4u)

Post #: 19

RE: Controlling your sub - 4/17/2010 7:55:58 PM

slvemike4u

Posts: 17896
Joined: 1/15/2008
From: United States
Status: offline

eh...isn't that ball gag ?

_____________________________

If we want things to stay as they are,things will have to change...Tancredi from "the Leopard"

Forget Guns-----Ban the pools

Funny stuff....https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eNwFf991d-4

(in reply to LadyAngelika)

Post #: 20

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