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RE: Libidos and Moral Dilemmas - 4/18/2010 4:08:39 PM   
OrpheusAgonistes


Posts: 253
Joined: 3/29/2010
Status: offline
quote:

I'm a little disappointed at how bad some of you are at stalking me


Replying to a post you made in which you made some rather unflattering admissions about yourself is "stalking?"  You started a thread ostensibly looking for advice because you "felt guilty" about your behavior.  People took your post at face value, and started to offer opinions. 

You chose which opinions you wanted to care about, which is fine.  The situation didn't become absurd until you started to get petulantly dismissive of the opinions you didn't like.  You've very nearly worked your way up from simply petulant into a full blown tantrum.  If it weren't for the fact that there is collateral damage to your behavior (the small matter of your "beloved" and also the people you flirt with and lead on online) it might be entertaining to watch you make a spectacle of yourself.  As it stands, it's just sort of a bummer.

quote:

Haven't you read my journals?
...Or the other threads I've contributed/started?


No.

quote:

You guys are ridiculous. There's no such thing as a pro sub.
But keep going though, it's funny. You're on a role.[sic]


Several people have pointed out that this is untrue.


quote:

In all seriousness though...

I know what I'm going to do with my behavior, you can take it or leave it. It doesn't affect me at all whether or not any of you believe me.
But really, you're going to scare people off if you keep making these ignorant accusations.


Accusations such as "Hey, dude, you're totally lying to your girlfriend!  And the people you lead on online!"  I'm sorry about that, I feel terrible about staking out your apartment, sifting through your garbage, reading your mail....wait what's that?  I didn't have to do any of these things because every last thing anyone has "accused" you of has been taken directly from your own words?  Why, it's almost as if you don't have anything to complain about.


quote:

The rest of you war mongers can keep debating over my character if you like but I'm done with this thread.

TA!


I'd be (pleasantly) surprised if this were true.  You've behaved like a self-indulgent brat from start to finish--why pick now to go out with some small semblance of dignity?

Edited to add that, as I was in the process of typing this post, you already posted again.



< Message edited by OrpheusAgonistes -- 4/18/2010 4:10:05 PM >

_____________________________

What I cannot create, I do not understand.--Feynman

Every sentence I have written here is the product of some disease.-- Wittgenstein

(in reply to Jinger)
Profile   Post #: 61
RE: Libidos and Moral Dilemmas - 4/18/2010 4:10:38 PM   
lizi


Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

quote:

Why? Many of us aren't looking for others but have profiles here for our friends or for whatever reasons.


Yes, but those don't have the following selected on their profiles
Actively Seeking:
- Dominant Women
- Switch Women
- Dominant Trans
- Femdom Couples
- Friends Only
- Online Romance

 
That I missed, which is careless of me. That does not reflect well on the OP at all, I agree.


quote:


He also lists himself as pro-submissive in his profile.


The pro-sub I took as silliness on his part after reading the profile and knowing of his other contributions here on the boards for the last year or so that I've been a member. Over that time he comes across as being young and high-spirited, I took the pro-sub as being a joke right from the start. He's said in this thread that CM is the one place he hasn't played his games.

The point being made is correct though, whatever the OP wishes to say about himself should be clear to all. If something was intended to be sarcastic or funny, it isn't if it's not interpreted that way by everyone. Several people have taken the pro-sub point seriously and that should be amended by the OP if he wants things crystal clear.

(in reply to LadyAngelika)
Profile   Post #: 62
RE: Libidos and Moral Dilemmas - 4/18/2010 4:19:54 PM   
AAkasha


Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline

A few random comments after reading the whole thread -

1) Pro male subs (yes male) do exist,  but they primarily cater to gay men.  Sometimes to women also.  Yes I have paid one. It was an amazing session and I hope to do it again. I have a bit of a "whore" fetish (tongue in cheek) and enjoy the idea of paying a man I am attracted to...and having him submit to me. And plus, the gear in a pro dungeon is more expansive than what I have in my home. A host of other reasons why I like the concept of pro subs (male) is on a variety of threads here..

2) I think the OP's behavior is not uncommon for a man who wants to have his cake and eat it too, and especially a young man.  Without knowing all the details of said relationship, I'd say as a big sister type, "You are too young to settle down.  Be honest with everyone and yourself and don't commit until you are ready."   No 22 year old wants to be told "You just need to grow up."  It's not an age thing.  I met the man I married when he was around 22 and he's faithful to the core. He won't even flirt back with the women that are hitting on him right under his nose.

3) OP, you made a decision to stop and that's admirable.  If you find that you change your mind, or decide to "stop later" or start compromising and saying "well ok so I will only stop a little," then recognize you do have a compulsion of sorts. The inability to stop behavior that you know is bad, and want to stop, needs to be addressed.

Akasha


_____________________________

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Don't email me here, email me at [email protected]

(in reply to Jinger)
Profile   Post #: 63
RE: Libidos and Moral Dilemmas - 4/18/2010 4:27:32 PM   
Jinger


Posts: 347
Joined: 1/7/2007
From: Rochester
Status: offline 		Oy. Name calling.

Before someone points it out to me with a quote, yes I jokingly called someone a pedo.
I followed it with a lol-bomb though so...I mean...really. Shouldn't take that seriously.

But yeah. Name calling.
Not really constructive, is it?

I totally forgot about the whole "actively searching" thing. My profile is pretty old, it slipped my mind.
So I changed that, I got rid of all my BDSM related interests so that there was no confusion.
Still having issues with the pictures, I notified tech support.

I like collarme because of the forums. Seems odd to write that now, but for the most part I've have mainly positive experiences.
I'd say this thread gets pretty negative after the first two pages.

I'm tried to be diplomatic but failed. I love arguing.

(in reply to lizi)
Profile   Post #: 64
RE: Libidos and Moral Dilemmas - 4/18/2010 4:28:59 PM   
Jinger


Posts: 347
Joined: 1/7/2007
From: Rochester
Status: offline 		Oh and wow!
Pro subs.
I couldn't believe my eyes!

I thought it was a stroke of satirical genius on my part!
Hooda thunkit!

Clearly I'm going to have to edit my profile too...you guuuuuyz!!!

(in reply to Jinger)
Profile   Post #: 65
RE: Libidos and Moral Dilemmas - 4/18/2010 4:30:06 PM   
Jinger


Posts: 347
Joined: 1/7/2007
From: Rochester
Status: offline
quote:

The inability to stop behavior that you know is bad, and want to stop, needs to be addressed.


Well said. I'll keep this in mind.

(in reply to AAkasha)
Profile   Post #: 66
RE: Libidos and Moral Dilemmas - 4/18/2010 4:31:48 PM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jinger

Oh and wow!
Pro subs.
I couldn't believe my eyes!

I thought it was a stroke of satirical genius on my part!
Hooda thunkit!

Clearly I'm going to have to edit my profile too...you guuuuuyz!!!


Can I politely request that nobody takes this guy as the poster boy for my generation, please?
He is not my (our) fault, don't make me (us) suffer for his ignorance.


_____________________________

Sthetic on FetLife.




(in reply to Jinger)
Profile   Post #: 67
RE: Libidos and Moral Dilemmas - 4/18/2010 4:41:48 PM   
Jinger


Posts: 347
Joined: 1/7/2007
From: Rochester
Status: offline
quote:

Can I politely request that nobody takes this guy as the poster boy for my generation, please?
He is not my (our) fault, don't make me (us) suffer for his ignorance.


What will happen now is one someone will reply saying something along the lines of
"Don't worry VaguelyCurious" we know he's different, not everyone is born with the capacity for respect
and decency.

That might happen.

(in reply to VaguelyCurious)
Profile   Post #: 68
RE: Libidos and Moral Dilemmas - 4/18/2010 4:48:52 PM   
brainiacsub


Posts: 1209
Joined: 11/11/2007
From: San Antonio, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DomImus

quote:

ORIGINAL: brainiacsub
You are a walking testicle.


That was just laugh out loud funny.


Funny and RIGHT.

I was one the first to respond to the OP. It was the wee hours of the morning and I was bored. After following this thread all day, I am absolutely convinced that I was balls on accurate (no pun intended) in my initial assessment. I am now changing my mind about something. My advice is too valuable and is no longer free. I demand tribute damnit. Pay up, Jinger, and I can make this thread go away...after all, I am also a pro sub.

(in reply to DomImus)
Profile   Post #: 69
RE: Libidos and Moral Dilemmas - 4/18/2010 4:49:56 PM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jinger

quote:

Can I politely request that nobody takes this guy as the poster boy for my generation, please?
He is not my (our) fault, don't make me (us) suffer for his ignorance.


What will happen now is one someone will reply saying something along the lines of
"Don't worry VaguelyCurious" we know he's different, not everyone is born with the capacity for respect
and decency.

That might happen.

And they would be right, but several people on this thread have mentioned your age as a mitigating factor. It isn't one.

Your behaviour with regards to your girlfriend was atrocious. Imagine how she would feel if she stumbled across your internet history-*you* would have caused that distress with *your* actions.

You have to have known that, and yet you continued to emotionally cheat. I'm not sure which is worse-the possibility that you don't really care about the emotions of your partner, and all your talk of love is lipservice, or the possibility that you really *do* feel strongly about her and yet you are willing to continue like this despite the hurt you would cause to this person you love if she knew.

So IMO, whichever of those options is accurate, you have no respect and no decency. That's nothing to do with your age. That's just you.


_____________________________

Sthetic on FetLife.




(in reply to Jinger)
Profile   Post #: 70
RE: Libidos and Moral Dilemmas - 4/18/2010 5:22:03 PM   
Jinger


Posts: 347
Joined: 1/7/2007
From: Rochester
Status: offline 		VaguelyCurious. Enough. This has all been said.
Many many times.

Unless you have something *new* to add, I really don't
see why you keep harping on things I'm already aware of.

(in reply to VaguelyCurious)
Profile   Post #: 71
RE: Libidos and Moral Dilemmas - 4/18/2010 5:25:19 PM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jinger

Unless you have something *new* to add, I really don't
see why you keep harping on things I'm already aware of.
Because you don't seem to be taking it seriously-that sarcastic remark about 'respect and decency', for example, and all the petulance about the existence of pro subs.



_____________________________

Sthetic on FetLife.




(in reply to Jinger)
Profile   Post #: 72
RE: Libidos and Moral Dilemmas - 4/18/2010 5:36:30 PM   
Jinger


Posts: 347
Joined: 1/7/2007
From: Rochester
Status: offline
quote:

Because you don't seem to be taking it seriously-that sarcastic remark about 'respect and decency', for example, and all the petulance about the existence of pro subs.



Oh please.

I was calling you out.
You were insulting my intelligence and then enabling someone
to springboard off you and deliver a second insult.

I wouldn't have addressed you at all if you weren't so rude.



< Message edited by Jinger -- 4/18/2010 5:37:02 PM >

(in reply to VaguelyCurious)
Profile   Post #: 73
RE: Libidos and Moral Dilemmas - 4/18/2010 5:37:47 PM   
Jinger


Posts: 347
Joined: 1/7/2007
From: Rochester
Status: offline
quote:

Pay up, Jinger, and I can make this thread go away...after all, I am also a pro sub.


I'll give you a nickel!

(in reply to brainiacsub)
Profile   Post #: 74
RE: Libidos and Moral Dilemmas - 4/18/2010 5:41:31 PM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jinger

Oh please.

I was calling you out.
You were insulting my intelligence and then enabling someone
to springboard off you and deliver a second insult.

I wouldn't have addressed you at all if you weren't so rude.
You've behaved pretty immaturely on this thread. People have commented on your age as an explanation, which reflects badly on me as someone younger than you.

I didn't insult your intelligence, I called you ignorant-which you were. 'There's no such thing as prosubs', remember? An absolute statement about a topic you clearly knew nothing about, and then to demand names when several people told you that you were wrong? Not mature.


_____________________________

Sthetic on FetLife.




(in reply to Jinger)
Profile   Post #: 75
RE: Libidos and Moral Dilemmas - 4/18/2010 5:46:40 PM   
Jinger


Posts: 347
Joined: 1/7/2007
From: Rochester
Status: offline
quote:

You've behaved pretty immaturely on this thread. People have commented on your age as an explanation, which reflects badly on me as someone younger than you.

I didn't insult your intelligence, I called you ignorant-which you were. 'There's no such thing as prosubs', remember? An absolute statement about a topic you clearly knew nothing about, and then to demand names when several people told you that you were wrong? Not mature.


You're right. Frankly I didn't believe the idea could be true.
But I stand corrected.

Regardless, there's no need for you to insult me any further than you already have.

(in reply to VaguelyCurious)
Profile   Post #: 76
RE: Libidos and Moral Dilemmas - 4/18/2010 5:46:57 PM   
MsLadySue


Posts: 2254
Joined: 12/18/2004
Status: offline 		There is only one comment left to make ... 'the ignore button is your friend."

_____________________________

In order for you to insult me, I would first have to value your opinion.
I love it when someone insults me. That means I don't have to be nice anymore.

(in reply to Jinger)
Profile   Post #: 77
RE: Libidos and Moral Dilemmas - 4/18/2010 5:50:13 PM   
Jinger


Posts: 347
Joined: 1/7/2007
From: Rochester
Status: offline
quote:

There is only one comment left to make ... 'the ignore button is your friend."


My god! What a lovely invention!

(in reply to MsLadySue)
Profile   Post #: 78
RE: Libidos and Moral Dilemmas - 4/18/2010 5:53:17 PM   
OrpheusAgonistes


Posts: 253
Joined: 3/29/2010
Status: offline 		Dude.  You forgot to do something.

What was it?

Oh, right.

quote:

The rest of you war mongers can keep debating over my character if you like but I'm done with this thread.

TA!


You forgot to be done with this thread.  Much as I suspect you will forget to be done with the behavior over which you felt so much guilt in the first place.

Anyway, VC, I'm very much aware that the OP is in no way representative of 20somethings.  He's a walking worst case scenario, a cautionary tale.


_____________________________

What I cannot create, I do not understand.--Feynman

Every sentence I have written here is the product of some disease.-- Wittgenstein

(in reply to MsLadySue)
Profile   Post #: 79
RE: Libidos and Moral Dilemmas - 4/18/2010 5:55:03 PM   
MsLadySue


Posts: 2254
Joined: 12/18/2004
Status: offline 		Very well said!

_____________________________

In order for you to insult me, I would first have to value your opinion.
I love it when someone insults me. That means I don't have to be nice anymore.

(in reply to OrpheusAgonistes)
Profile   Post #: 80
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