RE: Willing to relocate..... what does that mean to you ???

RE: Willing to relocate..... what does that mean to you ??? (Full Version)

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petmonkey -> RE: Willing to relocate..... what does that mean to you ??? (4/18/2010 8:23:10 AM)
After living with Him for four years, it meant leaving the life i'd built, the friends i made, the job i liked, the favorite places, the common haunts, the usual suspects, the comfortable rut for the Great Unknown. There were some needs i had as to what the place offered: job availability, types of cultural activities i gravitate toward, access to things that were in line with how i hoped my future played out. . . Now i'm considering relocating again, under my own direction and steam--the idea is a tad daunting, as it's not something i've really done before . . . The list thus far for this next move: "Cooler than here" "Farther away from my fanged family but not so far that visiting is monetarily prohibitive" "Somewhere i've never lived before"

Missokyst -> RE: Willing to relocate..... what does that mean to you ??? (4/18/2010 8:55:20 AM)
If I said "willing to relocate" it would mean I had nothing tying me to my present location. It might mean I was in a job that could easily be tossed away. It could mean that family or friends here were not enough and leaving them might be ok for the right circumstance. If a male dominant had willing to relocate in his profile I would wonder why it was so easy to toss out a job, family, friends, ect... and what it took to create the right circumstance to leave. I would want to know the whole situation.

UniqueRaven -> RE: Willing to relocate..... what does that mean to you ??? (4/18/2010 9:37:33 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: petmonkey The list thus far for this next move: "Cooler than here" "Farther away from my fanged family but not so far that visiting is monetarily prohibitive" "Somewhere i've never lived before" This is a good list. i have to admit to being prejudiced towards speaking with potential Owners that live in "cool" locations - the coasts, major cities, "cool" countries like Canada and the UK which still aren't TOO far away. i am very experiential. i see life as all about the experiences you create - especially with another person.

petmonkey -> RE: Willing to relocate..... what does that mean to you ??? (4/18/2010 11:05:05 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: UniqueRaven This is a good list. Thanks. i'm hoping to add to and define it more until it coalesces into something like a solid plan. i have to admit to being prejudiced towards speaking with potential Owners that live in "cool" locations - the coasts, major cities, "cool" countries like Canada and the UK which still aren't TOO far away. i haven't moved around much, so i figure, why the funk not? i am very experiential. i see life as all about the experiences you create - especially with another person. D'oh!

DesFIP -> RE: Willing to relocate..... what does that mean to you ??? (4/18/2010 11:23:14 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CastleOfDreams Fair question. My location has family ties and responsibilities that keep me here for the first reason. The second reason, my business and income is derived because of my 40 years of contacts and reputation within the local business community that I serve. there possibly could be a "work around" for my business, my family responsibilities, can't be severed. And yet, you are surprised that her location has family ties and responsibilities, plus that's where her business and income are? Willingness to locate means a willingness to locate if everything works out, not to lose everything. So if you work in an ad agency in L.A. you would be willing to relocate to another major city with several large ad agencies, where people would know and appreciate your work and you could find a job before the move.

Andalusite -> RE: Willing to relocate..... what does that mean to you ??? (4/18/2010 11:57:53 AM)
I wasn't interested in people even if they did have "willing to relocate," since I need in-person time to establish a relationship. After a relationship was going well, sure, I'd move if we needed to. Unless the person had their own reasons for wanting to move and my area was one of the possibilities, I didn't really see any point in pursuing them to discover whether or not we could be compatible. If I lived in a small town with no local options, I'd probably be a lot more open to an LDR, but I didn't see it as necessary when I was looking.

LookieNoNookie -> RE: Willing to relocate..... what does that mean to you ??? (4/18/2010 12:00:16 PM)
I suspect "willing to relocate" means they're willing to relocate. Kind of along the same lines of someone that says they don't like fish...means they don't like fish.

CastleOfDreams -> RE: Willing to relocate..... what does that mean to you ??? (4/18/2010 12:36:27 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP And yet, you are surprised that her location has family ties and responsibilities, plus that's where her business and income are? ...... Realistically then, why even check the box ??? To announce that should a zillion hoops get set up and then jumped through, you might consider moving ??? It goes back to the basis of this thread, what does "willing to relocate" really mean ??? It is looking that like just about everything else in this dynamic, it can mean just about anything, to whoever is reading or posting it. I started this thread, partly to find out, and partly as a whine/rant over the frustrations of attempting to contact potential subs, only to find out "willing to relocate" didn't mean exactly what it said. It would be refreshing to get an email back saying "you are a dork and no way would I move to be anywhere near you" for a change. [:D]

MrOncology -> RE: Willing to relocate..... what does that mean to you ??? (4/18/2010 1:03:30 PM)
From what I've gathered, I think it means different things to different subs. I've spoken to a few people on here whom were willing to go from one country to another, and others who did not wish to relocate outside of their own state. I suppose it depends on other circumstances, how tied down are you to where you're at? Are there children involved? What about a successful career? Or family? Etc, etc. I know this is kind of a weird thing to say, but it always bothers me when someone has a family, career, even children, and are willing to up and leave to go somewhere else on a whim. I suppose it's a personal thing, particularly since where I'm at, I do not wish to relocate, at least not until my doctorate is finished in 3 years, I've got too much that's holding me down aside from school itself. Seems a bit unstable to just get up and move at the drop of a hat. Just my two cents :D

afkarr -> RE: Willing to relocate..... what does that mean to you ??? (4/18/2010 1:08:56 PM)
Castle, I'd suggest you change your location to read something like "Home of Brett Favre, a bunch of other hot football studs, and really good cheese". There isn't a sub worth having that would turn down that combination....lol Seriously, there are times ( not all times, I'm sure some are for real) that I think many females check "willing to relocate" because they aren't looking for a Dom, they're looking for a husband, and think offering up some mildly kinky sex might be a good way to snag one.

stella41b -> RE: Willing to relocate..... what does that mean to you ??? (4/18/2010 1:27:01 PM)
It means to be with the person with whom I'm having the relationship with. There's a ratio involved however - the greater the distance = the greater the chemistry necessary. How far? That depends on the person. Almost all of my relationships have been LDRs and some have been international LDRs. I'm in the UK and have previously considered New Zealand, so distance for the right person isn't an issue.

ThatDamnedPanda -> RE: Willing to relocate..... what does that mean to you ??? (4/18/2010 1:32:16 PM)
It means that who I'm with is, generally speaking, more important to me than where I live, and I don't have any strong attachment to where I'm living now. There are some areas I would almost certainly never want to live no matter what (think New York City, for example), but I'm open to at least discussing almost any country, any state, any province.

LadyAngelika -> RE: Willing to relocate..... what does that mean to you ??? (4/18/2010 2:43:40 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ThatDamnedPanda It means that who I'm with is, generally speaking, more important to me than where I live, and I don't have any strong attachment to where I'm living now. There are some areas I would almost certainly never want to live no matter what (think New York City, for example), but I'm open to at least discussing almost any country, any state, any province. How about a cage in a zoo, panda? ;-) - LA

windchymes -> RE: Willing to relocate..... what does that mean to you ??? (4/18/2010 3:01:36 PM)
Stick with pre- and menopausal women, Castle. They're (we're) always looking for a cold place to be. [;)]

January -> RE: Willing to relocate..... what does that mean to you ??? (4/18/2010 4:45:17 PM)
Hi Castle, I'm wondering when you start asking a sub to relocate. Right away? If you pressure a potential partner for a commitment to move, or ask to see evidence of her sincerity, just because you don't want to waste time, you are shooting yourself in the foot. If you rush her, demanding a move, and she doesn't snap to, you've lost a friend. Don't approach online sub hunting as a time sink. If you act like your time is far more valuable than anyone else's, you'll come off as arrogant or desperate. Relax, be patient, open-minded and make friends first. January

ThatDamnedPanda -> RE: Willing to relocate..... what does that mean to you ??? (4/18/2010 9:33:03 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika quote: ORIGINAL: ThatDamnedPanda It means that who I'm with is, generally speaking, more important to me than where I live, and I don't have any strong attachment to where I'm living now. There are some areas I would almost certainly never want to live no matter what (think New York City, for example), but I'm open to at least discussing almost any country, any state, any province. How about a cage in a zoo, panda? ;-) Well, you know... as long as it's not in New York City....

littleone35 -> RE: Willing to relocate..... what does that mean to you ??? (4/19/2010 9:45:43 AM)
I think willing to relocare is to pick up everything and drop stakes elaewhere. I would not like to leave my family, but if i was not woth my wonderful Master and a Dom i was involved with wanted me to relocate i would have to think long and hard about it. It will also have to be in the USA, this is my country i love it and do not want to leave it. Of course i would not get involoved with a dom who was not in the USA. Relocation maybe if i had a jib and my OWN place to live at least to start. Matt's littleone

Toppingfrmbottom -> RE: Willing to relocate..... what does that mean to you ??? (4/20/2010 4:40:57 PM)
If my parents were not alive, and the cultural shock of the move wasn't to great, I'd go anywhere to be with someone I loved. But I wouldn't do it till a relationship was well established and on firm ground. quote: ORIGINAL: CastleOfDreams The reason I ask, this is one of the qualifiers I use in the search of CM and more often than not, my location appears to be a liability, regardless of "willing to relocate" being checked or not. I have read time and again over the years "I'd be willing to relocate for the right Dom".... yet as I have said, many times I have never even gotten a chance to learn about someone, or her me, because of my location. So...... what does "willing to relocate" REALLY mean to you ??? Does it mean "within 50 miles" or.... Does it mean "to someplace way cooler than where I am now" or What ????

GreedyTop -> RE: Willing to relocate..... what does that mean to you ??? (4/20/2010 11:18:12 PM)
Green Bay.. hmm.. at least it isnt International Falls! That should be a selling point! grinz

krikket -> RE: Willing to relocate..... what does that mean to you ??? (4/21/2010 6:13:03 AM)
....or Embarrass, MN..lol. When I was married I followed my husband from one end of the country to the other, i.e.,TN to NC, NC to AZ, AZ to MN, both shocks to the system, not to mention to my wardrobe..lol. I'm flexible and make friends easily, but the problem, as many have pointed out, is how do you get to know someone well enough to make such a drastic change in your life. My kids are grown and moved to other areas of the country -- 2 even moved back to MN, although i thought i raised them better (j/k...lol), so moving is the least of my worries. What would concern me is being someplace where I didn't know anyone only to discover that we're just not compatible. The heart and the feet are open to a long distance move, but the brain worries. PS: My kids have used the fact that they only had 40 inches of snow this year, but we had over 60 as points for me to consider moving back to MN. I then point out that while we definitely had more snow, the temperature didn't get down to -32 degrees, even once..lol. quote: ORIGINAL: GreedyTop Green Bay.. hmm.. at least it isnt International Falls! That should be a selling point! grinz

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