Willing to relocate..... what does that mean to you ???

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Willing to relocate..... what does that mean to you ??? - 4/18/2010 12:12:47 AM

CastleOfDreams

Posts: 12
Joined: 11/25/2007
Status: offline

The reason I ask, this is one of the qualifiers I use in the search of CM and more often than not, my location appears to be a liability, regardless of "willing to relocate" being checked or not.

I have read time and again over the years "I'd be willing to relocate for the right Dom".... yet as I have said, many times I have never even gotten a chance to learn about someone, or her me, because of my location.

So...... what does "willing to relocate" REALLY mean to you ???

Does it mean "within 50 miles" or....

Does it mean "to someplace way cooler than where I am now" or

What ????

Post #: 1

RE: Willing to relocate..... what does that mean to you... - 4/18/2010 12:20:35 AM

UniqueRaven

Posts: 1237
Joined: 9/30/2009
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline

For me, it means anywhere my potential Owner may be. i've traveled a great deal my whole life and am very adaptable.

However, it looks like Europe and the UK might be out for a while.

_____________________________

"My life has no purpose, no direction, no aim, no meaning, and yet I'm happy. I can't figure it out. What am I doing right?" ~Snoopy (Charles Schultz)

My blog is at http://takinghishand.wordpress.com

(in reply to CastleOfDreams)

Post #: 2

RE: Willing to relocate..... what does that mean to you... - 4/18/2010 12:34:26 AM

jbcurious

Posts: 717
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline

I think the difficult part of the "willing to relocate" issue is being able to get to know the person well enough and spend enough time with them to discover if they are the right person. It's a pretty big thing to walk away from friends, home, job and your life in order to be with someone...so there needs to be a strong connection and security of a life together.

_____________________________

'Smile... it's the second best thing to do with your lips.'

I have an explosive personality...

(in reply to CastleOfDreams)

Post #: 3

RE: Willing to relocate..... what does that mean to you... - 4/18/2010 12:37:43 AM

seekingOwnertoo

Posts: 1323
Joined: 8/1/2009
Status: offline

Myself ... it means anywhere in North America ... where i might meet the love of my life.

Of course ... a few caveats include things like ... a large enough city i can get a job ... and a few other things ... necessary to make a living and survive.

but i think you get the drift.

Oh ... but you should see one of the little towns ... of 1000 people ... near Georgian Bay ... chuckles ... to die for ... in the summer!

(in reply to CastleOfDreams)

Post #: 4

RE: Willing to relocate..... what does that mean to you... - 4/18/2010 12:42:00 AM

myotherself

Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline

For me, it means the person is a good distance away so we won't be able to meet much in person for the beginning of the relationship. It also means that rather than going out for a coffee or spending the odd night together while you get to know each other, you have intense two/three/more days together...which I find a bit stifling when I'm just getting to know someone.

Then there's the 'relocating' bit - do you move in together, or does one have to pack up and buy/rent near the other? Brilliant if it all works out, but what if it doesn't? At least one of you is risking being all on your own in a strange city/country....

All things to think about, and for a pragmatist (possibly pessimist

)like me, can be just too much to consider...too much pressure right at the start when it's supposed to just be fun and friendship.

Although I live in hope that one day the right man will come along and I'll throw caution to the wind and just go with the flow!

_____________________________

There's nowt so queer as folk

(in reply to UniqueRaven)

Post #: 5

RE: Willing to relocate..... what does that mean to you... - 4/18/2010 1:25:04 AM

peppermint

Posts: 5169
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline

Willing to relocate for me meant willing to give up a house, a job, and move 1600 miles away. However, we did not meet online which makes a difference. We met face to face. The major problem with trying to search online is weeding out those who really aren't who or what they said in their profiles. Many can be very convincing and keep you hanging for months. Two or three like that can waste a year or longer.

(in reply to CastleOfDreams)

Post #: 6

RE: Willing to relocate..... what does that mean to you... - 4/18/2010 1:25:20 AM

twistedwillow

Posts: 546
Joined: 11/23/2006
Status: offline

For me willing to relocate, means just that, I am willing to move to be with the one I love.
The problem with that is, as has been pointed out already, the difficulty in getting to know someone who is at a great distance to make someone 'willing' to relocate.
I know that I am not going to pack up and haul ass half way across the country\world for a few pretty words online and maybe a phonecall or 2.
And distance makes travel to 'get to know' difficult and expensive.

_____________________________

Jesus died to forgive our sins. Dare we make his martyrdom meaningless by not committing them? —Jules Feiffer
Don't be fooled by the pretty words and sweet face.. sarcasm is the norm not the exception.

(in reply to myotherself)

Post #: 7

RE: Willing to relocate..... what does that mean to you... - 4/18/2010 4:28:15 AM

sunshinemiss

Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline

For me, it means relocating to where I can get a good job, where I know my body and spirit can be stimulated.
Oh, and art... there must be art. I lived without it a couple of times and thought I was gonna die.

Isn't it cold where you are? Brrrrr

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to twistedwillow)

Post #: 8

RE: Willing to relocate..... what does that mean to you... - 4/18/2010 4:43:09 AM

crazyml

Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CastleOfDreams

So...... what does "willing to relocate" REALLY mean to you ???

Alas it's going to mean very different things to very different people (which can be frustrating). Some like UniqueRaven place almost no limit on the distance (shame about Europe though ;-) ), and others may place really narrow restrictions.

I regard "willing to relocate" as an indication that someone is willing to discuss the possibility of relocation, in the right circumstances, with the right person - I think if you step through all the stuff that has to happen in order for someone to relocate - it's a hell of a lot.

Relocating 10miles may not require that the person give up their job - relocating 100 is likely to. Then there's friends, property, etc etc.

(in reply to CastleOfDreams)

Post #: 9

RE: Willing to relocate..... what does that mean to you... - 4/18/2010 4:46:19 AM

pyroaquatic

Posts: 1535
Joined: 12/4/2006
From: Pyroaquatica
Status: offline

To stay by Her side.

Moving to my Lady would end my travels of far and wide.

_____________________________

You are what your deep, driving desire is.
As your desire is, so is your will.
As your will is, so is your deed.
As your deed is, so is your destiny.
-Brihadaranyaka Upanishad IV.4.5

(in reply to CastleOfDreams)

Post #: 10

RE: Willing to relocate..... what does that mean to you... - 4/18/2010 5:01:13 AM

loverly

Posts: 236
Joined: 1/23/2004
Status: offline

My grandmother followed my grandfather to where his job took them.. my mother did the same as did my family when my dads job transfered him/. i would do the same .. However.. i agree that meeting ppl at a great distance makes it awfully hard to get to really know someone and feel confident that it is the right move! For me my job is available most anywhere in the US or Europe... or some form of it as it is the Hospility trade.. ( shame i am not meeting anyone with a Tropical resort who needs a great Guest Relations person! lol ) but technecically i could be living anywhere....i am just really n ot much for huge cities with Lots of people!

The other problem i have with this is having the Dominant ask ME .. so .. what will WE do about the distance then IF we do get to that point? i am always at a loss.. i mean.. Wouldnt that Be His decision once a relationship and agreement was established?
Another question i have is .. WHY would any respectable Dominant ask a submissive to come to Him for a frist "In Person" meeting? and/or insist when she shares her feelings that she would be more comfortable meeting on her home turf where she knows people and has safe calls available?? Am i too cautious?

Sorry didnt mean to drift off thread.. Relocatable ( to me ) means willing to go to the ends of the earth for Him where ever that would be .. in the end.

(in reply to sunshinemiss)

Post #: 11

RE: Willing to relocate..... what does that mean to you... - 4/18/2010 5:16:29 AM

CarrieO

Posts: 2432
Joined: 1/27/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CastleOfDreams

So...... what does "willing to relocate" REALLY mean to you ???

Willing to relocate means just that...I would be willing to move in order to be with my partner. My dad did it to be with my mom, my sister did to be with her new partner. I relocated to the east coast for my job many years ago. It happens.

I think the fantasy part comes into play when people think they can "live on love" and forget about things like bills, health care, school, career, family....reality.

_____________________________

"No matter what happens in the kitchen, never apologize"~Julia Child~

(in reply to CastleOfDreams)

Post #: 12

RE: Willing to relocate..... what does that mean to you... - 4/18/2010 5:48:29 AM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

Good question.. I talked with one sub who wanted to get away from her small town - in her case, it was a desire to move, not just a willingness. And I talked with one other sub who thought she was willing until I forced her to think of the implications, and then she decided that she wanted to stay put. Even people that ARE willing to relocate have limits on where they will move.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to CarrieO)

Post #: 13

RE: Willing to relocate..... what does that mean to you... - 4/18/2010 5:58:47 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

For us it meant eventually, not immediately. It took a couple of years after we were sure we wanted to be together before he could get a job transfer. If no females can find a job where you are, then can you find one where they are? Why can't you be the one to relocate. Especially at your age op, most women are going to have offspring and not want to uproot them for someone they barely know. An older person losing a job now is not going to find it easy to get a new one, and winding up in a shelter with her ums is not desirable for anyone.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 14

RE: Willing to relocate..... what does that mean to you... - 4/18/2010 6:04:23 AM

twistedwillow

Posts: 546
Joined: 11/23/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss
Isn't it cold where you are? Brrrrr

It is turning cold, yes... but was a beautiful sunny day, the day that pic was taken, out in the pine forest ... I live in what is called the 'green triangle' full of tree farms, perfect for those secluded 'sunday nature romps'

_____________________________

Jesus died to forgive our sins. Dare we make his martyrdom meaningless by not committing them? —Jules Feiffer
Don't be fooled by the pretty words and sweet face.. sarcasm is the norm not the exception.

(in reply to sunshinemiss)

Post #: 15

RE: Willing to relocate..... what does that mean to you... - 4/18/2010 7:53:48 AM

whiteslavebitch

Posts: 479
Joined: 9/10/2007
Status: offline

I relocated 2400mi to be with MasterK. It was after 2 1/2 yrs of communication, getting to know each other and thought about what it would mean.

I had certain requirements before I would move, one being that it was to a location where I could transfer within my company and not lose long held benefits. I really
hate job hunting and like I said I wanted to keep my benefits.

Location didn't matter that much to me, the hardest part was leaving my family behind.

I notice however, that you don't list yourself as willing to relocate, why is that?

edited for clarity and because my keyboard sucks right now

< Message edited by whiteslavebitch -- 4/18/2010 7:58:49 AM >

_____________________________

MasterK's whiteslavebitch

formally collared 1/30/09

"I give to you my everything, you've given me these loving wings." - DMB

(in reply to CastleOfDreams)

Post #: 16

RE: Willing to relocate..... what does that mean to you... - 4/18/2010 8:01:11 AM

CastleOfDreams

Posts: 12
Joined: 11/25/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

...............
Isn't it cold where you are? Brrrrr

Thank you sunshinemiss....... you hit the #1 first question about my location and the #1 response I have experienced......all in one line.

Typically, after I hear this question and then this response, the conversation gets as chilly with the prospective "willing to relocatee", as the temp of a mid January night here.

(in reply to sunshinemiss)

Post #: 17

RE: Willing to relocate..... what does that mean to you... - 4/18/2010 8:06:03 AM

kyraofMists

Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

It meant that I was willing to move over 3,000 miles from South Florida to Northern Alberta, Canada.

There are some places, even in the States, that I would not have wanted to move to. They just wouldn't be a right fit for me. However, what is most important to me is the character of the person that I was moving to be with.

Knight's Kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to CastleOfDreams)

Post #: 18

RE: Willing to relocate..... what does that mean to you... - 4/18/2010 8:12:32 AM

CastleOfDreams

Posts: 12
Joined: 11/25/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: whiteslavebitch

.....

I notice however, that you don't list yourself as willing to relocate, why is that?

edited for clarity and because my keyboard sucks right now

Fair question. My location has family ties and responsibilities that keep me here for the first reason. The second reason, my business and income is derived because of my 40 years of contacts and reputation within the local business community that I serve. there possibly could be a "work around" for my business, my family responsibilities, can't be severed.

(in reply to whiteslavebitch)

Post #: 19

RE: Willing to relocate..... what does that mean to you... - 4/18/2010 8:20:46 AM

CastleOfDreams

Posts: 12
Joined: 11/25/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

Good question.. I talked with one sub who wanted to get away from her small town - in her case, it was a desire to move, not just a willingness. And I talked with one other sub who thought she was willing until I forced her to think of the implications, and then she decided that she wanted to stay put. Even people that ARE willing to relocate have limits on where they will move.

Gotta admit Steven.... Denver is seen as a tad bit "sexier" than my location, by most.

The limits on where someone will or won't relocate, you know I have seen that numerous times on local or international sites. But for whatever reason, this site and others I have visited within the D/s community, just don't have people stating such, when they have checked off "willing to relocate", which BTW... is what prompted this thread.

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 20

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