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mentoring, submission and subspace - 4/19/2010 12:52:09 AM

n_l

Posts: 2
Joined: 6/28/2009
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I have only had experience with the d/s lifestyle through internet in the past.
Read alot and been looking into what makes me feel good.
As internet is not a good place for me to live this lifestyle correctly i stopped using internet for this.

I met a girl that shares my views on manythings when it comes to the d/s lifestyle.
She has had more experience irl than i have and we have talked alot about the differences.

Her experience in the past with doms have been different to my own views on how it works.
She have experienced her submission from going into subspace when doms speak to her in sertain ways.

She is not submissive in regular life, however she and i are creating the balance we want.
So in some ways she is giving herself to me more and more.

However, she is used to move into subspace with doms to let go completly.
She have said that she is very obedient when she is in this state.
Now subspace seem to very different depending on who you talk to.
She is aware of what is happening when she is in subspace, just that she is very relaxed and in a meditive state of complete surrender and trusting the one that control her.

Is there anyone that have enough experience with this that are willing to mentor me?
I know what i want, i just need more practical experience.

Post #: 1

RE: mentoring, submission and subspace - 4/19/2010 2:33:08 AM

jbcurious

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Joined: 3/13/2010
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I'm fairly new as well, so I could be wrong... but that doesn't sound like subspace as I know it.

First I have to be submissive before I can go there...and it takes a lot more then talking to put me there... and when I am there, my mind is so disconnected, and my body a quivering mass of sensation... that I can't funtion.

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(in reply to n_l)

Post #: 2

RE: mentoring, submission and subspace - 4/19/2010 4:32:02 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
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From: Apple County NY
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Perhaps she is referring to a submissive headspace and not endorphin released subspace? Many people confuse the terms.

He can do some things that get me to relax and become rather wide eyed, more easily influenced. Talking can do it but biting my neck puts me there immediately.

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Post #: 3

RE: mentoring, submission and subspace - 4/19/2010 5:17:23 AM

DarkSteven

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Joined: 5/2/2008
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If you say you're done with online and you want mentoring, then I suspect you want mentoring IRL. Then give your location.

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The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

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Post #: 4

RE: mentoring, submission and subspace - 4/19/2010 5:25:54 AM

lizi

Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
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I'd have to echo what the others said so far for subspace and what puts them there. Neck biting is an express ticket for me as
well. It takes kinky sex and/or play to put me there and when I'm in subspace it's hard to think. When asked questions I don't respond coherently and it takes me some time to drag myself down from there into being able to 'hear' what's asked and then answer. If he thinks I'm too far gone and wants me to be more in the moment to try something a bit edgier, he'll ask me questions and wait for me to answer them correctly before proceeding.

In my relationship we don't go about with obvious Dominance and submission, much of our life is lived in vanilla ways. Still it's like many other people describe...it only takes a look, word, gesture on his part to put me into my submissive mode and I become very obedient, I understand your friend's outlook on that point but that isn't subspace to me per se. When he triggers that type of obedience I can't do enough for him and I'm pretty much waiting on his every word. Like I said, this isn't how we generally live with each other but it's there in the background all of the time.

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 5

RE: mentoring, submission and subspace - 4/19/2010 8:08:46 AM

ResidentSadist

Posts: 12580
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From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline

I''l teach if the price is right!

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I give good thread.

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Post #: 6

RE: mentoring, submission and subspace - 4/19/2010 9:19:52 AM

Aylee

Posts: 24103
Joined: 10/14/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

I''l teach if the price is right!

OMG!!!

IT'S BOB BARKER!!!!!

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I don’t always wgah’nagl fhtagn. But when I do, I ph’nglui mglw’nafh R’lyeh.

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Post #: 7

RE: mentoring, submission and subspace - 4/19/2010 10:03:32 AM

Musicmystery

Posts: 30259
Joined: 3/14/2005
Status: offline

LOL!

Cum on down!

Or is that go on down?

(in reply to Aylee)

Post #: 8

RE: mentoring, submission and subspace - 4/19/2010 2:27:41 PM

SexySea

Posts: 36
Joined: 8/2/2007
Status: offline

I believe that you are talking about two very different types of "Sub-space". The first is when I willing give myself over to my Dom for the duration of the play session giving him permission to do whatever he wishes as long as it is within the realms of what we have agreed upon before and that my safe word is honoured. The second is when I have reaced a point of endorphin rush where pain is pleasure. NOTE: When your subbie is in sub-space aftercare is very important!! Don't just end the session and leave. She will need to be covered, given something to eat and drink and cuddled and talked to to bring her back to earth.
SS

(in reply to Musicmystery)

Post #: 9

RE: mentoring, submission and subspace - 4/20/2010 1:03:27 AM

aldompdx

Posts: 538
Joined: 10/24/2004
Status: offline

Subspace induced through extreme stimulation is typically a form of shock. It cannot be mentored online, because it requires physical interaction, not to mention quite a bit of experience.

Subspace of a meditative nature can be induced throug -- meditation. Go to a meditation center and learn from a real mentor in the subject.

(in reply to n_l)

Post #: 10

RE: mentoring, submission and subspace - 4/22/2010 4:24:03 AM

n_l

Posts: 2
Joined: 6/28/2009
Status: offline

Thank you for the replies on this.
I think you are right on the 'headspace' being more what is going on here.

She and i have now discussed the differences and its pretty clear its not subspace she have been in.
She moves into her role and surrenders while still present in a meditative state.
Almost like being in a trance, still there yet givenup some of her control.

(in reply to aldompdx)

Post #: 11

RE: mentoring, submission and subspace - 4/22/2010 6:01:17 AM

ResidentSadist

Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Musicmystery

LOL!

Cum on down!

Or is that go on down?

I believe you got it right "cum on down"

... and "tell them what's behind door number 4"

_____________________________

-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.

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Post #: 12

RE: mentoring, submission and subspace - 4/22/2010 7:23:38 AM

divi

Posts: 11109
Joined: 9/4/2007
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I'm in the market for a mentor ...If anyone knows someone who can teach me the wicked ways of BDSM

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Post #: 13

RE: mentoring, submission and subspace - 4/22/2010 7:26:10 AM

Wolf2Bear

Posts: 3204
Joined: 9/6/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: divi

I'm in the market for a mentor ...If anyone knows someone who can teach me the wicked ways of BDSM

pssst divi, call 1-800-Dial-a-Dom.
I use them all the time and their rates are quite reasonable!

_____________________________

~Resident Sadist Approved~

Take the pain
Take the pleasure
I'm the master of both
Close your eyes, not your mind
Let me into your soul
I'm gonna work it 'til your totally blown

(in reply to divi)

Post #: 14

RE: mentoring, submission and subspace - 4/22/2010 7:26:44 AM

divi

Posts: 11109
Joined: 9/4/2007
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lol.. will call and tell them bear sent me

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Post #: 15

RE: mentoring, submission and subspace - 4/22/2010 9:39:26 AM

domiguy

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Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline

Sounds much more like douchespace. (imho)

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Post #: 16

RE: mentoring, submission and subspace - 4/22/2010 12:50:27 PM

divi

Posts: 11109
Joined: 9/4/2007
Status: offline

It's been so long since I've been to subspace

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( imho )

I really could use a wish right now

(in reply to domiguy)

Post #: 17

RE: mentoring, submission and subspace - 4/22/2010 2:09:18 PM

domiguy

Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: divi

It's been so long since I've been to subspace

Odd...Because you are an astronaut.

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Post #: 18

RE: mentoring, submission and subspace - 4/25/2010 4:47:59 PM

dragon200070

Posts: 93
Joined: 2/9/2010
Status: offline

Hi,
I have been menoring people for over 20 years. I mentor because there was almost no help available when I started. I have dommed both males and females, frequently over the Internet.

I'd be happy to mentor you.

Jeff

(in reply to n_l)

Post #: 19

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