Dominant Accountability

Dominant Accountability (Full Version)

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SylkBelieves -> Dominant Accountability (4/4/2006 8:06:55 PM)
When a sub or slave falls short of their Dom/Master's expectations it is generally expected that the sub/slave will be held accountable by that Dom/Master by one means or another. Dominants and Masters are humans and subject to human shortcomings. So, how are THEY held accountable? Sylk_believes When someone tells you who they are, believe them, the first time. Maya Angelou

Kane -> RE: Dominant Accountability (4/4/2006 8:18:58 PM)
He should hold himself accountable.

catize -> RE: Dominant Accountability (4/4/2006 8:22:23 PM)
Those deserving of the title and all it entails would hold themselves accountable.

artglfr -> RE: Dominant Accountability (4/4/2006 8:28:39 PM)
I am accountable to myself, any submissive I have responsibility for deserves and will receive My very best efforts to cherish her and keep her safe, protected and if I fail We will discuss it openly and honestly the same way I do when she fails...

NeedToUseYou -> RE: Dominant Accountability (4/4/2006 8:31:07 PM)
Well, the sub could leave. I guess that would be punishment.

TemptingNviceSub -> RE: Dominant Accountability (4/4/2006 8:39:02 PM)
Both IMO are accountable...But usually the Dominant will accept most of the accountability..however that is when communication becomes a necessity to overcome whatever obstacle seems to be occurring...be well..Tempting

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Dominant Accountability (4/4/2006 9:04:04 PM)
Hold themselves accountable and have to face the consequences. Say I set a rule for a partner to have a bedtime every night. If I don't enforce the rule (not that he would purposefully test me, I don't play that) then: a) he doesn't get a good nights sleep b) he loses some measure of faith and security in the discipline I set c) I have to re-evaluate my processes and put even more effort towards changing behavior AND make more time to reinforce the trust and stability Anyone who says the dom has the easy end because they just get to make orders and hand out punishments is dealing with a dom who isn't really taking themselves seriously.

BitaTruble -> RE: Dominant Accountability (4/4/2006 9:06:58 PM)
quote: So, how are THEY held accountable? I agree with what the others here have posted, but further, I'd love to see how that accountability manifests. I mean, do Masters have a stern talking to with themselves? Do they bounce things off their slaves? What are the consequences for actions? Inquiring minds want to know... ok, ok.. 'my' inquiring mind wants to know. ::chuckles:: Celeste

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Dominant Accountability (4/4/2006 9:11:16 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BitaTruble do Masters have a stern talking to with themselves? Stern talking to, obsessive discussions with myself and sleepless nights re-evaluating the progress and long term vision of where I want to go and where the relationship is turning...to-may-to, to-mah-to. quote: Do they bounce things off their slaves? Lots of discussions. "What's your perspective? How do you feel? Are you understanding my perspective? How do you think things will go next time?" and so on and so forth.

slavejali -> RE: Dominant Accountability (4/4/2006 9:24:01 PM)
quote: Original Quote: Sylkbelieves Dominants and Masters are humans and subject to human shortcomings. Next thing you are gonna be telling me is, the easter bunny isnt real [;)] Seriously though, I can only speak from my relationship with Master, when he screws up he generally talks to me about it....and I think he does a lot of self-evaluation.

catize -> RE: Dominant Accountability (4/4/2006 9:28:57 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BitaTruble quote: So, how are THEY held accountable? Do they bounce things off their slaves? Celeste Only if the slave is a masochist.........

NaturalSelection -> RE: Dominant Accountability (4/4/2006 10:51:26 PM)
New to the forums but would love to chime in here... Personal accountability is a high priority with me. I think any Dominant not willing to admit a mistake probably has insecurity issues... Most great leaders in history have been able to recognize mistakes, learn from them, and become better leaders... Obviously this doesn't apply to our current president in any way, shape, or form... [&o]

amayos -> RE: Dominant Accountability (4/4/2006 11:52:18 PM)
Accountability is a system in which a person is required or expected to justify his or her actions or decisions. Though I may often be kind enough to do so, it is clearly understood that I need not justify or explain my actions or decisions to my slaves. The suggestion of such an idea is absurd to me; they are not in a position to judge, and it is more than a little foolish to allow them to be. It is well enough that a Master be personally accountable to himself.

RavenMuse -> RE: Dominant Accountability (4/5/2006 12:03:54 AM)
I expect a lot from other people, I expect more from friends, I expect a LOT more from my girl but the person I expect most from is me and also the person I am hardest on for failing to meet those expectations is myself. But it is no good just beating yourself up about something it might help stop you repeating that error again but you also have a responsibility to do what you can to correct whatever went wrong as a consequence of your failour.... where possible.

SoulfulSadism -> RE: Dominant Accountability (4/5/2006 12:28:38 AM)
Sylk_believes: I would say that if you accept someone as your dom - truly accept - you are also trusting them to 'make up' for their own mistakes, whether visibly or silently. If the dom is not self-aware or self-critical enough to know when he/she has made a mistake - I think it's perfectly ok to let them know in a subtle manner that YOU as a sub have been wronged. However, finally - there's a difference in equality and similarity - and specially in BDSM world , justice is not necessarily composed of equality or/and similarity.

masochistecstacy -> RE: Dominant Accountability (4/5/2006 12:40:06 AM)
quote: quote: quote: So, how are THEY held accountable? Do they bounce things off their slaves? Only if the slave is a masochist......... EEPS and hides Lol... Mostly, I'd agree with what's already been said... if my Love were to make some error, I'd expect Him to correct it... Although being bratty to the point that He finally realizes something's up also works. grins innocently

RavenMuse -> RE: Dominant Accountability (4/5/2006 12:58:11 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: masochistecstacy Although being bratty to the point that He finally realizes something's up also works. grins innocently It would work to get you in trouble! [:D] If my girl is feeling hurt or upset by something I've done, then She explains in an appropriate manner what it is that she is feeling and why. Chances are that she has just misread the reasons behind an action and either getting her to think it through properly or explaing the action to her solves the problem and also builds trust in that she learns more of how I do things and what is ment. If however when I think through what has been said, if I find I have been at fault in part or in whole then I will look to rectify the situation. Her just being bratty about it is likely to make the situation worse and make her feel worse because she WILL be called to task for acting up!

johnxinxscruz -> RE: Dominant Accountability (4/5/2006 1:08:42 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross obsessive discussions with myself and sleepless nights re-evaluating the progress and long term vision of where I want to go and where the relationship is turning. "Heavy is the head that wears the crown"

masochistecstacy -> RE: Dominant Accountability (4/5/2006 1:13:46 AM)
quote: It would work to get you in trouble! [:D] chuckles Isn't that the point sometimes? kidding The latter part truely was merely spoken in jest... Even thought I didn't actually speak, I typed... But anyways, Lol... I agree that truely, if anything had happened, I really would say something. I would never wish to harbor ill feelings between my Love and I.

NickInSLC -> RE: Dominant Accountability (4/5/2006 1:37:47 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: NeedToUseYou Well, the sub could leave. I guess that would be punishment. Well said NeedToUse. Like any other relationship, BDSM is a two way street, and if the submissive loses trust in the dominant, leaving is the only reasonable thing to do. Indeed, leaving is somewhat final, but oft times the best course of action. Sadly, many of the lesser 'dominants' make the exit cost so high that it takes a very severe fuckup for their submissives to walk out the door.

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