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petmonkey -> RE: who should pay for relocation? (4/20/2010 8:03:35 PM)
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We got an idea about the amount that seemed reasonable for both of Us to relocate, then We both saved up to reach that amount.When i had the money to pay for things, i did; when he had the money, He did. It was part of the process of Him, over here, [indicates left] and me, over here, [indicates right] becoming Us [indicates center].
Too egalitarian for these boards? Perhaps. But mixing up Our finances beyond shared rent was a major step for both of Us--We were taking it slow.
The plan for the move itself was an alright one, it was Our contingency planning that sucked eggs. We under-estimated the amount and were heavily affected by the banks collapsing. Two or three months after the move, We both had to move again for new jobs--this drained Our accounts and Us emotionally. We hadn't saved to have emergency savings was the problem, We had only saved for the move itself. (Yes, it was moronic, thanks for the bulletin). i'm still recovering financially from these two inter-state moves. i'm so broke i can barely pay attention. [:'(]
If i were to do it again, move to be with a potential life partner, i'd pay my own way, no prob--but only if i could afford to do so without draining my (re-built) nest egg--that in itself would indicate a major, satisfying accomplishment--and that i had a Dom who wouldn't jeopardize my financial health by requiring i "spend it all". this would be trust-o-licious-y behavior.[;)]
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