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who should pay for relocation? - 4/20/2010 4:33:28 PM

Phoenix73Sir

Posts: 139
Joined: 4/2/2010
From: Northants, UK
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This was inspired by this thread: http://www.collarchat.com/m_3167330/tm.htm

assuming one of you relocates.. who is responsible in yopr opinion for funding that relocation?

(forget the scammer mail, this is aimed at real relocations.) how did you do it?

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RE: who should pay for relocation? - 4/20/2010 4:39:41 PM

Toppingfrmbottom

Posts: 6528
Joined: 6/7/2009
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Daddy didn't have to pay anything but gas to relocate, since he was two hours away and it was merely just a matter of driving his stuff from there to here. If there was a bigger distance and a flight an shit was needed, it'd be all his responsibility to pay for his relocation to me. If I relocated to him, it'd be me who should pay for it I feel.

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RE: who should pay for relocation? - 4/20/2010 4:42:13 PM

babygurlangel

Posts: 85
Joined: 12/13/2009
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Daddy paid for me to move to him. I wanted to pay but he wouldn't let me so I guess its really how the people in the relationship feel it should be.

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RE: who should pay for relocation? - 4/20/2010 4:57:30 PM

sweetsub1957

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Would i have moved to FL had this last One worked out with me, i would have paid. Were He to have moved to WA, He would have paid.

~sweetsub~

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RE: who should pay for relocation? - 4/20/2010 4:57:41 PM

DarkSteven

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When my service sub moved to me, she paid and I reimbursed her. I was in a better financial situation than she was.

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RE: who should pay for relocation? - 4/20/2010 5:02:57 PM

LookieNoNookie

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Only if I don't have to pay for reparations.

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RE: who should pay for relocation? - 4/20/2010 5:47:01 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
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I'm responsible for moving myself. I'm a grown adult and I tend to act like one. I would be completely humiliated and ashamed to ask Master to fund it all for me. Imo there's just something so very wrong about that.

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Post #: 7

RE: who should pay for relocation? - 4/20/2010 6:02:30 PM

NorthNewbie

Posts: 24
Joined: 4/8/2010
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HAH! Managed to sneak onto cm on the work computer. Still can't sneak the other sites through the firewall, apparently. Hrmph. Ah well, on-topic:

It'd depend on the couple in question. A couple of quick hypothetical scenarios:
If I were to relocate to a Domme and I had the cash... of course I'd pay for it. If I have the financial oomph needed, then it's my responsibility. If she were to relocate, and didn't have the financial stability for it, I'd still pay for it as that's what someone in a relationship does. You help the other with what they need/can't provide for themselves. If I was broke, and couldn't rustle up the money for relocation, and she offered... I'd take it, knowing that it's an offer given in order for us to get together and able to provide for eachother.

The person that's relocating should pay what they can, I feel. But only what they can. Just uprooting yourself in order to move to your significant other is a major step, and should be appreciated enough by the other one, that helping in any way conceivable shouldn't even be an issue.In the end, it's all about who can afford what, and how the couple feels financial matters should be resolved. There's no way to create a universally applicable answer to this.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to try and figure out how to get a few other sites like this past the slavering Cerberus that guards my firm's intranet. Damn ISP ruining my home connection.

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RE: who should pay for relocation? - 4/20/2010 8:03:35 PM

petmonkey

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Joined: 7/7/2009
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We got an idea about the amount that seemed reasonable for both of Us to relocate, then We both saved up to reach that amount.When i had the money to pay for things, i did; when he had the money, He did. It was part of the process of Him, over here, [indicates left] and me, over here, [indicates right] becoming Us [indicates center].
Too egalitarian for these boards? Perhaps. But mixing up Our finances beyond shared rent was a major step for both of Us--We were taking it slow.

The plan for the move itself was an alright one, it was Our contingency planning that sucked eggs. We under-estimated the amount and were heavily affected by the banks collapsing. Two or three months after the move, We both had to move again for new jobs--this drained Our accounts and Us emotionally. We hadn't saved to have emergency savings was the problem, We had only saved for the move itself. (Yes, it was moronic, thanks for the bulletin). i'm still recovering financially from these two inter-state moves. i'm so broke i can barely pay attention.

If i were to do it again, move to be with a potential life partner, i'd pay my own way, no prob--but only if i could afford to do so without draining my (re-built) nest egg--that in itself would indicate a major, satisfying accomplishment--and that i had a Dom who wouldn't jeopardize my financial health by requiring i "spend it all". this would be trust-o-licious-y behavior.

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RE: who should pay for relocation? - 4/20/2010 8:03:57 PM

leadership527

Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
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Whoever is most able... or possibly some split? I dunno. I'm assuming both people want this relocation to happen. Unless I'm buying my slave from Slaves 'R Us, I don't pay shipping and handling.

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RE: who should pay for relocation? - 4/20/2010 8:07:39 PM

bluefireeyez

Posts: 119
Joined: 12/15/2008
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If i relocated to Master, i am betting that He would try to pay or help me in some way. However, i believe that i should attempt to pay as much as i am able. If that means a percentage or all of it, so be it.

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Post #: 11

RE: who should pay for relocation? - 4/20/2010 8:36:05 PM

UniqueRaven

Posts: 1237
Joined: 9/30/2009
From: Austin, TX
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It is up to the two involved, ultimately. There is no standard, as i see it.

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Post #: 12

RE: who should pay for relocation? - 4/21/2010 12:32:12 AM

myotherself

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Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
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~fr~

difficult question, and one I'm still pondering. I would think that it would depend on the arrangements for the 'being together'. If one was leaving home and relocating to live nearby (but not in the same home) their other half, that would incur a much greater expense than moving in with the other one. Then again, what if both were moving somewhere new to be together?

I think it depends on the immediate financial situation of both, and what the expectations for living expenses would be when the move had occurred.

Perhaps being a bit of a pessimist, I would also consider what would happen if it all fell apart. Would one be left in pretty much the same situation at the end as when they started? Would one be risking everything financially, and the other risking pretty much nothing? That would all have to be factored in too.

Not a straightforward reply I know, but my brain is still rambling through the idea

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RE: who should pay for relocation? - 4/21/2010 5:51:00 AM

lally2

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go dutch probably - after all, its for both parties benefit.

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RE: who should pay for relocation? - 4/21/2010 5:58:53 AM

krikket

Posts: 1183
Joined: 11/17/2004
From: Washington, DC Metro Area
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Something else to consider when thinking about relocation are emotional and financial support after the move but before new jobs are found and the person who moved is able to make friends. As much as we might like to think that this wonderful person we're moving to be with is our entire world, the fact is they really can't be. New jobs aren't easily found right now, at least in most industries, especially when you don't know the area, or the companies/people we're hoping will hire us.

Moving always takes more money and time than you think it will. I was a military wife so our "moving" was "free", but there were things the movers wouldn't take, things that were broken, things we didn't even think about, no matter how many times we moved over the years, so it's a good idea to save more than you think you should, and like "myotherself" said:

Perhaps being a bit of a pessimist, I would also consider what would happen if it all fell apart. Would one be left in pretty much the same situation at the end as when they started? Would one be risking everything financially, and the other risking pretty much nothing? That would all have to be factored in too.

Few of us go into a relationship thinking it will fail, but stuff happens, and that kind of thing should also be taken into account as well.

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RE: who should pay for relocation? - 4/21/2010 7:44:16 AM

LaTigresse

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Joined: 1/15/2006
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If someone wants to relocate to be with me, they are paying their own way. I am an adult and only interested in other adults. If they cannot manage to get here on their own.......they are are not going to belong to me.

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RE: who should pay for relocation? - 4/21/2010 10:53:15 AM

littleone35

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Joined: 2/17/2005
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For me i think i would like to split it if it was a big move no matter who moved to whom. Now if i moved to Masters place that is no big deal about money he onluy lives a 1/2 hour from me. I could afford the gas to go there, and for moving my things, well he has a friend who has a truck he could borrow so would be ok. Would not cost much so i would pay my own way to him.

Matt's littleone

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Post #: 17

RE: who should pay for relocation? - 4/21/2010 1:57:02 PM

peppermint

Posts: 5169
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline

Hopefully by the time there is relocation there is no me and you. By then it should be us. Then WE decide how to best get the relocation accomplished.

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RE: who should pay for relocation? - 4/21/2010 3:00:44 PM

subsfaith

Posts: 297
Joined: 11/21/2006
Status: offline

There is no right and no wrong, other than to say...

If you get to the point of relocating and you have to come to here to ask who pays for it, you have already missed the point of being in a relationships and you should smack yourself in the mouth.

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Post #: 19

RE: who should pay for relocation? - 4/21/2010 4:30:57 PM

whiteslavebitch

Posts: 479
Joined: 9/10/2007
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I used money from my savings / insurance settlement, drove me, my dog and my stuff across country.

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