Maybe not so simple a question......

Maybe not so simple a question...... (Full Version)

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SirCumsSlut -> Maybe not so simple a question...... (4/5/2006 11:36:22 AM)
Maybe not so simple a question....... I have noticed in the time Sir and I have been here at collarme, many subs/slaves that say they are looking to join a poly group....(No this should not be in the Poly board) Now a few W/we have written to say they want poly, but when they discover they are not to be "alpha sub/slave" they suddenly become not interested. So here is my question to the female(sorry guys, but am looking for only the female point of view) subs/slaves out there....... How important is the so called "alpha sub/slave" title to you?? Just to give some detail, in O/our family, there is no "alpha sub/slave". There is only ONE ALPHA in O/our household and that is Sir. All subs/slaves are equal in O/our family. Peace The slut "Your firm hand and compassionate heart are what guide me in my journey....I am Yours, Sir" the slut

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Maybe not so simple a question...... (4/5/2006 11:56:28 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SirCumsSlut How important is the so called "alpha sub/slave" title to you?? Not at all. And, unless you're in a leather family situation, in open extended poly relationships, alpha/not alpha tends to become a fairly useless term. However it's very important to understand what it means to whoever is using the term if you're considering being part of their relationship.

Angeni -> RE: Maybe not so simple a question...... (4/5/2006 2:06:50 PM)
quote: How important is the so called "alpha sub/slave" title to you?? Greetings :) For me personally, absolutly none at all. My relationships that have been poly have all been about us girls being equals. That's not to say that one day I may be in a relationship with a family that has an 'Alpha slave', I just have not been there yet.

littleone35 -> RE: Maybe not so simple a question...... (4/5/2006 2:38:09 PM)
For me i don't do poly it is not my thing. If i were to do it however i would want all the subs to be equal with only one alpha like the op said that would be Master. Me amd Master like one on one that is just our thing. Matt's littleone

TemptingNviceSub -> RE: Maybe not so simple a question...... (4/5/2006 3:54:18 PM)
Humm..well not being experieced in this what so ever..all I can add is what my observations have been.It seems to be dependant on what the household agrees to..Exception being the Gorean life..they seem IMO to have defined places in the household,however you would have to ask a Gorean Master about this for a more informative answer.Now I have noted that if the Master is married then his wife is alpha if she is submissive if she is Domme then it is a whole other dynamic added in there...be well...Tempting.

starymists -> RE: Maybe not so simple a question...... (4/5/2006 8:19:15 PM)
I really think it depends on the type of poly that is being practiced. I know several married couples who do practice poly with an alpha and beta structure. My personal experience is that alpha doesn't tend to work for either my Dominant or myself over the long term. But I certainly know enough people who practice it and have had success over the long term under some circumstances. But, for me, it is important so very important to me to stay as far away from even the perception of being an alpha as I can. I much prefer to be a sister than a leader :)

DragonNphoenix -> RE: Maybe not so simple a question...... (4/5/2006 8:33:45 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SirCumsSlut How important is the so called "alpha sub/slave" title to you?? Not very. I carry the 'title' 1st Girl, because that is what I am. At this time, I am his only girl, that makes me the 1st. We are searching for one to join us, but she will not be 'lesser' than me. The only alpha in our clan is my Master, Dragon. All others are under him. Goddess knows that I do not want to be Alpha. But some would say that I am because I am also his wife. I think that the only difference is that he married me, not that I am Alpha. I believe that a slave is a slave, we are equal in that. 1st Girl Phoenix

brightspot -> RE: Maybe not so simple a question...... (4/5/2006 10:31:18 PM)
My Domina and I discussed the possibility of one day asking another woman to join us. For us the thought and talking about, it would have been important for me to be Alpha always because we had the history and it would be a thing that we would agree on together. We would be the primary relationship and I would be an important part of picking and teaching another "our" ways and their place in the relationship as a whole. *Brightspot

fullofgrace -> RE: Maybe not so simple a question...... (4/5/2006 10:38:28 PM)
He and i have discussed having others join us, but He knows that i really don't think i'm built for polyamory...mostly because i know that my jealous/possessive tendencies, though coming under MUCH more control, would push me to feel competitive and i would not want to ruin the experience for Him or another submissive. we have discussed having casual encounters with a third person, however. i just know that poly is probably not what is best for me, but if He ever wished it, i would try to quiet that part of myself, because i know it's not healthy to be that competitive.

CanadianGuy -> RE: Maybe not so simple a question...... (4/6/2006 3:04:18 AM)
good post, fullofgrace. My girl and I are very committed to each other, but when we have talked or roleplayed about having another girl in our play (or in our life situation, should that come about), she expressed desire to be submissive to her as well. She wouldn't want the other girl to be Dominant per se... I think she just sees her place as the most submissive of any girl. That, to her, is the truly prized position - the one furthest below me. For me to put her in a position of control over the other girl, even a little, would unbalance her. Considering she's bisexual (well, curious, since she's never actually been with a girl) and I'm MUCH less possessive about her playing with another girl than I would be about having a guy involved in any way (especially a dominant guy... I shiver to imagine the clash going on there), I'm sure it's a possibility down the road.

SirCumsSlut -> RE: Maybe not so simple a question...... (4/6/2006 4:53:50 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DragonNphoenix quote: ORIGINAL: SirCumsSlut How important is the so called "alpha sub/slave" title to you?? Not very. I carry the 'title' 1st Girl, because that is what I am. At this time, I am his only girl, that makes me the 1st. We are searching for one to join us, but she will not be 'lesser' than me. The only alpha in our clan is my Master, Dragon. All others are under him. Goddess knows that I do not want to be Alpha. But some would say that I am because I am also his wife. I think that the only difference is that he married me, not that I am Alpha. I believe that a slave is a slave, we are equal in that. 1st Girl Phoenix See that is our house as well...As Sir as said, no one will ever take my place as I am also His wife....as was said in one post I would prefer to be titled "sister" for to me that is truly what we seek

treazure -> RE: Maybe not so simple a question...... (4/6/2006 6:02:22 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SirCumsSlut How important is the so called "alpha sub/slave" title to you?? /quote] Of absolutely no importance what so ever.

slaveladyj -> RE: Maybe not so simple a question...... (4/6/2006 6:10:59 AM)
Maybe not a complete answer, but I think in any group of people you are going to have one who is alpha. Even with a group of female subs, you'll have the one the others look too, and follow. They may not be titled the number one slave or the alpha slave, but they'll still be there.

scratchingpost -> RE: Maybe not so simple a question...... (4/6/2006 8:14:46 AM)
Hmmm I am thinking...while everyone kneels equally on the floor before the Dominant, if there is perhaps one sub in a poly house that is usually the go to person? Is that considered the alpha? some say yes.whether the title is used or not.

Mercnbeth -> RE: Maybe not so simple a question...... (4/6/2006 8:22:03 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SirCumsSlut How important is the so called "alpha sub/slave" title to you?? as important as it would be to Master, no more, no less. any title given to this slave by Master is and would be honored and cherished and considered gravy...theta-slut, alpha-slave, beta-baby, iota-pet, ad infinitum.

ivorylace -> RE: Maybe not so simple a question...... (4/6/2006 8:27:29 AM)
It would be important only if important to the Master. ~lace

Submotive -> RE: Maybe not so simple a question...... (4/6/2006 10:01:15 AM)
quote: How important is the so called "alpha sub/slave" title to you?? It's important enough to stay away from poly situations as i know i want to be the only apple of Master's eye. hee hee[:D]

Merritt27 -> RE: Maybe not so simple a question...... (4/6/2006 10:21:26 AM)
Daddy and i are both poly...so adding another is something that we discuss quite frequently. In O/our house there would be no alpha/beta system...just Daddy and his girls. Both girls being on equal footing.

RavenMuse -> RE: Maybe not so simple a question...... (4/6/2006 10:57:19 AM)
My girl already knows that whilst I plan to take a while before doing so to focus on learning her, I do plan on eventualy adding a second girl. Any second girl would HAVE to also get on well with my current girl, she is here already, already pleases me and is going no-where and it would displease me greatly to have to constantly deal with squabbles between the two of them, in that sense she is 1st girl, however both would be here for MY pleasure and acting under my direction, no such titles would be needed.

PlayfulOne -> RE: Maybe not so simple a question...... (4/6/2006 8:10:40 PM)
I, as the Master of the house, am not interested in an Alpha/beta structure. The last poly house I ran the girls were equal sisters and should we bring anyone into here that would be the situation again. That said my little one will always be first. I can be fair and even between two subs, but any problems that disrupt the house in an ongoing manner will result in one leaving, and it will not be her. K

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