RE: Maybe not so simple a question......

RE: Maybe not so simple a question...... (Full Version)

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perverseangelic -> RE: Maybe not so simple a question...... (4/6/2006 8:42:38 PM)
If for some reason my Owner and I ended our relationship, I'd probably seek out a M/F couple to belong to. That said, the position of alpha slave is -incredibly- important to me, because I would -not- want to be it. That is, if one 1/2 of the couple was submissive to the other, I would need to submit to them both. It would become very important that I was not "above" someone, but rather submitted to them both.

DragonNphoenix -> RE: Maybe not so simple a question...... (4/7/2006 1:14:11 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: scratchingpost Hmmm I am thinking...while everyone kneels equally on the floor before the Dominant, if there is perhaps one sub in a poly house that is usually the go to person? Is that considered the alpha? some say yes.whether the title is used or not. I would be the 'go-to person'. But that is really only because I am Dragons wife and the one that was here first. I know how he likes things and such. But, I still do not think of myself as 'alpha'. 1st Girl Phoenix

SirCumsSlut -> RE: Maybe not so simple a question...... (4/7/2006 2:40:07 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DragonNphoenix quote: ORIGINAL: scratchingpost Hmmm I am thinking...while everyone kneels equally on the floor before the Dominant, if there is perhaps one sub in a poly house that is usually the go to person? Is that considered the alpha? some say yes.whether the title is used or not. I would be the 'go-to person'. But that is really only because I am Dragons wife and the one that was here first. I know how he likes things and such. But, I still do not think of myself as 'alpha'. 1st Girl Phoenix I to as Sir's wife would be the one to go to, but again any joining our house would be sisters, not "alpha/beta".........As I stated before there is only ONE ALPHA in O/our home [:)]

acctonthelook -> RE: Maybe not so simple a question...... (4/12/2006 2:23:16 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SirCumsSlut How important is the so called "alpha sub/slave" title to you?? There is only ONE ALPHA in O/our household and that is Sir. All subs/slaves are equal in O/our family. I was actually just chatting online about this yesterday! I understand your point of view that your Sir is the only Alpha. I am a sub only to men, if I'm with a woman I am the alpha in play only. Does that make sense? It confuses me to be submissive to another woman. It doesn't feel natural to me to submit to a woman, even though I'm bisexual. I can't explain why, just what happens in my head. I have tried to be submissive with women and I get restless within myself when it happens. Maybe it's my belief that a Man is the King, and the woman is his Queen, so to speak. I feel that it's the woman who is the strength behind the Man when you're referring to Dom/sub, Master/slave. I'm sure this works in reverse also but for me, No. I am a reflection of him. Not a woman. I hope that helps a bit.

darklilwolf -> RE: Maybe not so simple a question...... (4/17/2006 7:12:31 AM)
this one Master as well is also her husband, we have talked about haveing anouther girl in O/our house and this one is ok with that. this one is not interested in being Alpa if this one wanted to be a Alpa this one wouldnt be a slave in the first place, this one dont have a ounce of Dom in her. and wishes for a sister plane and simple.

puella -> RE: Maybe not so simple a question...... (4/17/2006 1:53:05 PM)
Let me preface my post by saying... I am by no means an expert on Poly. I would never have sought out a Poly relationship, but did end up in one. Again I will go back to my mantra that what labels are given are probably of little importance as compared to what happens in the way your life is lived out, who you actually are, and who you feel you most honestly are. In my situation, there were no 'titles'. But I believe there will always be some sort of hierarchy. It is impossible to avoid. For instance... who does he have history with, perhaps a very long history?.. Never discount the importance of that. Who do the people who know him outside of the relationship, oftentimes very important people, IE family, friends, people in the work place, etc view as his partner, and why? (Even if the Poly is an acknowledged one, there is usually one who will be, in one form or another, the legitimate partner and the other who is... the other girl, the added girl, and the implications of that can be quite harmful to some.) What if one of the 'servile women' is really legally his partner, being a joint owner of the home, or lease signer, joint owner of the car, sharing the bank account, etc... Those might seem like trivial things.. but what if the women do not get along terribly well ( I am not saying hissing cat fits, it doesn't even have to be that dramatic to be a huge problem)? When one can legitimately say... this is my house, this is my car, this is my money, this is my family.... what does that leave the other but a sort of secondary and much lesser (and much more vulnerable) creature. I know I failed the most important person in my life by not being able to deal with these circumstances. The fact that there were no labels as to alpha and beta made no difference what so ever. Sometimes, the labels do not come in the form of a title, I suppose. Again, I really can not provide any definitive answers, especially as an acknowledged failure. I suppose I can only provide caution and an example of what not to do or become. Poly, in my opinion, is a very tricky sort of relationship to handle, especially with emotions that run so very very deep. Good luck in navigating it.

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