Is this a common stereotype/misconseption about Femdoms?

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Is this a common stereotype/misconseption about Femdoms? - 4/24/2010 6:30:44 PM

MasterK13

Posts: 75
Joined: 11/13/2009
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Okay I just want to say this first I am not making any attacks on Femdoms I'm just trying to understand this common stereotype. Okay here it goes is it true that there are many Femdoms that hate men. I ask because its a common stereotype and there can be a lot of negative attitudes toward men in profiles and on Femdom sites.

Post #: 1

RE: Is this a common stereotype/misconseption about Fem... - 4/24/2010 6:44:42 PM

GoddessSpitfire

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Joined: 3/25/2009
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I can only speak for myself here. I dont hate men at all.

(in reply to MasterK13)

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RE: Is this a common stereotype/misconseption about Fem... - 4/24/2010 6:49:00 PM

MsLadySue

Posts: 2254
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I would say there are some who hate men but that's true of vanilla also. In other instances the Lady might be lesbian in which case she would not be interested in being served by a male.

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RE: Is this a common stereotype/misconseption about Fem... - 4/24/2010 7:16:41 PM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
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From: Island Of Misfit Toys
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I don't know any femdoms who hate men. But that's just me speaking from over twenty years in the lifestyle. Maybe there is a whole cluster of fiendish man haters out there, having tea and cake and not inviting me. Just as well. Men annoy me sometimes, but not enough to make me hate them.

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RE: Is this a common stereotype/misconseption about Fem... - 4/24/2010 7:36:36 PM

Lockit

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I don't hate men. I may not like some of them, but even that isn't hate. I've loved a number of men and those are the one's I want to spank. Go figure!

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Post #: 5

RE: Is this a common stereotype/misconseption about Fem... - 4/24/2010 7:44:55 PM

GoddessImaginos

Posts: 1493
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

I don't hate men. I may not like some of them, but even that isn't hate. I've loved a number of men and those are the one's I want to spank. Go figure!

Hey Lockit, yanno that puts a whole new spin on the saying, "We only hurt the ones we love", eh?
*agrees with your post*

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RE: Is this a common stereotype/misconseption about Fem... - 4/24/2010 8:07:44 PM

Tantriqu

Posts: 2026
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I think, op, you're confusing the term 'FemDomme' with 'basement porn' or 'prostitute'.

I, like most Lifestyle FemDommes, *LOVE* good men, and being straight, only men. I wouldn't fuck any other gender in the ass.

On your flipside, good luck with disproving the stereotype for male doms being do-me wankers, twitchy switchies, misogynist sadistic sociopaths, and pricky leg-lifting piss artists. We must all do our part.

(in reply to GoddessImaginos)

Post #: 7

RE: Is this a common stereotype/misconseption about Fem... - 4/24/2010 8:08:50 PM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
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It is a common misconception and We blame porn. The Bitch Goddess is THE most prominent portrayal of dominant women.

Master Fire

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RE: Is this a common stereotype/misconseption about Fem... - 4/24/2010 8:11:50 PM

VampiresLair

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Joined: 9/3/2008
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It is definately a porn based model that most men actually think Dommes are like. And then, in order to get the dommes, sub men portray themselves as worthless individuals. Women speak to these men as worthless individuals, and hence you have the stereotype born.

Honestly, if Domme's hated men, why would so many of us be in long term relationships or marriages with our slaves who are male?

Dv

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RE: Is this a common stereotype/misconseption about Fem... - 4/24/2010 8:54:55 PM

CynthiaWVirginia

Posts: 1915
Joined: 2/28/2010
From: West Virginia, USA
Status: offline

Good question.

No, I don't hate men.

(in reply to MasterK13)

Post #: 10

RE: Is this a common stereotype/misconseption about Fem... - 4/24/2010 9:05:58 PM

khem

Posts: 300
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I adore men (well, and women too)

(in reply to CynthiaWVirginia)

Post #: 11

RE: Is this a common stereotype/misconseption about Fem... - 4/24/2010 9:20:41 PM

LadyNTrainer

Posts: 1584
Joined: 5/20/2009
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There are negative, unhealthy, angry and bitter people in the lifestyle. Gender and orientation isn't really a good predictor. There are misogynistic men and man-hating women. Most aren't in the lifestyle at all, but some are.

The stereotype of the angry, bitchy, nasty femdom does exist, but it seems to be much more popular with men who are only fantasizing about being dominated than with women who enjoy dominating and are in long term relationships with submissives they actually like.

Hot play scenes are one thing, but long term relationships based on *not* loving or even liking your partner don't tend to work out very well. If you try to throw out all the rules of normal human relationships and completely replace them with a script from a bad BDSM porno, you're going to run into problems as soon as your whip arm gets tired and you actually have to relate to another human being.

< Message edited by LadyNTrainer -- 4/24/2010 9:27:57 PM >

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RE: Is this a common stereotype/misconseption about Fem... - 4/24/2010 11:17:41 PM

LadyAngelika

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quote:

The stereotype of the angry, bitchy, nasty femdom does exist, but it seems to be much more popular with men who are only fantasizing about being dominated than with women who enjoy dominating and are in long term relationships with submissives they actually like.

Exactly. I echo every other woman here who've posted that this is a porn stereotype.

The men I have adored, I have truly adored.

As for hating anyone, no one I dislike is worth of me spending any amount of energy on them such as the energy required to hate someone.

- LA

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RE: Is this a common stereotype/misconseption about Fem... - 4/25/2010 1:12:49 AM

SweetDommes

Posts: 3313
Joined: 10/5/2004
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It's a common misconception, that - as the others have already stated - is mostly due to bad porn.

I would say that it's rather rare for a Domme to be a 'man hater' ... even among those who prefer women for partners, I would venture to guess that few of them actually hate men.

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RE: Is this a common stereotype/misconseption about Fem... - 4/25/2010 1:22:27 AM

AlexandraLynch

Posts: 778
Joined: 3/24/2008
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I like men quite a bit. I wouldn't have a husband and two subs and lots of male friends if that weren't the case.

The people whom I dislike have earned it through being assholes, which is something one can do regardless of gender.

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RE: Is this a common stereotype/misconseption about Fem... - 4/25/2010 8:47:23 PM

LadyHugs

Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

MasterK13,

I think Female Dominants suffer the same "stereotyping" as male Dominants do-- Do you hate women as to want to beat 'em up, make 'em work and suffer, etc.

I can only speak for myself as to your inquiry -- I don't hate men per se. That said, there are some behaviors men do that I hate. Mainly, trying to dictate how a Mistress/Dominant is suppose to be one; a dictation of a script of an entire scene which clearly is to the benefit of male sexual fantasy in their terms--nothing as far as enjoyment or respect for the other partner.

There might be a few women who sneak through that hate men to the degree that fits your stereotype--however, it would be far wiser to approach any stereotype as just a broad brush that doesn't address the individuality of individuals and their preferred dominating style. Some men may want to be humbiliated and treated like chewing gum on the bottom of some high-heel. Some women may want that too. However, the major thing is that both are having a really, really good time and can end the day in happiness--not the assumption of what happiness is suppose to be like in some BDSM novel or movie; where life is scripted to perfection with all the details set out. Life has no such travels of certainty.

It must be considered very carefully, what is a 'role play' scene and a relationship between the two. Some scenes start before going to any club or party; going to dinner or shopping at a store.

Another consideration is the difference between being a Dominant and being domineering. If someone is to hate a gender/race, etc., and used the community in a larger sense to feed on that--I don't consider them a Dominant. I consider them a predator and or abuser. This world has enough hate already. Hopefully, it will be expelled from the BDSM, D/s, M/s community at large.

Just some thoughts.

Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs

(in reply to MasterK13)

Post #: 16

RE: Is this a common stereotype/misconseption about Fem... - 4/25/2010 9:43:32 PM

JessicaSavage

Posts: 22
Joined: 4/23/2010
Status: offline

No way. IMho, boys make good pets.

(in reply to MasterK13)

Post #: 17

RE: Is this a common stereotype/misconseption about Fem... - 4/26/2010 5:26:48 AM

PeonForHer

Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline

FR,

Femdoms, if they're hetero and sadistic, like to hurt men. In the vanilla world, you only hurt a man if you don't like him. This could have something to do with why that stereotype was created.

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Post #: 18

RE: Is this a common stereotype/misconseption about Fem... - 4/26/2010 5:29:24 AM

Lashra

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Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline

I don't hate men, I love them so much I own one.

However you will find some Femdoms hate men, just as some Maledoms hate women and so on and so on.
It comes down to the individual rather than an entire group.

~Lashra

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(in reply to MasterK13)

Post #: 19

RE: Is this a common stereotype/misconseption about Fem... - 4/26/2010 8:17:25 AM

Andalusite

Posts: 2492
Joined: 1/25/2009
Status: offline

I had the impression he was asking if it was a common *mistaken* impression, not if it was true! I'd say that yes, some pro-Dommes and porn does foster that misconception, and so people occasionally ask if it is true, or expect all Dommes to call men worms, or be hateful and bitchy or whatever.

(in reply to Lashra)

Post #: 20

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