I want my Master to be proud, not disappointed

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kuppykake -> I want my Master to be proud, not disappointed (4/26/2010 12:45:57 AM)
I was wondering what are some little things I could do to make my Master happy and proud that I'm His? I mean stuff that He doesn't have to ask me to do. I have been very disobedient towards Him recently, and I'm not trying to get out of any punishments or anything, I just want to really show Him that I am trying to be a better slave. I just don't want to do something that He won't like cause then I'll be in more trouble. This is my first post, so if I broke some kind on posting rule, kindly let me know.

dreamerdreaming -> RE: I want my Master to be proud, not disappointed (4/26/2010 1:10:12 AM)
The best thing to do is ask HIM this question. We could give you all kinds of ideas that he might like, but he also might dislike them.

Toppingfrmbottom -> RE: I want my Master to be proud, not disappointed (4/26/2010 2:10:11 AM)
I second this dreamer. Nobody can tell her best what her partner will like but the partner himself, and in my opinion looking to strangers on the net for idea's in pleasing him, well it'll be nice conversation, but it'll all just be speculation till something comes from his mouth.

peppermint -> RE: I want my Master to be proud, not disappointed (4/26/2010 2:30:59 AM)
I'll agree with the others. Doing something that pleases my Dominant but is something your Master hates is NOT going to make you extra points.

martin772010 -> RE: I want my Master to be proud, not disappointed (4/26/2010 2:45:49 AM)
i think its going to be a bit of a consensus on this one. Go to your master and explain that you know youve done wrong and your trying to be better a better slave. Personally, if a slave showed iniative and approached me in a respectable way asking for additional tasks to prove her worth and her desire for my approval then i would set her hard but fair tasks which i know she could do without affecting her other duties

DesFIP -> RE: I want my Master to be proud, not disappointed (4/26/2010 4:24:06 AM)
What kind of things does he like? If he always gets apple pie when you go out, then bake him one. Go by what you've observed.

eyesopened -> RE: I want my Master to be proud, not disappointed (4/26/2010 5:27:04 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: kuppykake I was wondering what are some little things I could do to make my Master happy and proud that I'm His? I mean stuff that He doesn't have to ask me to do. I have been very disobedient towards Him recently, and I'm not trying to get out of any punishments or anything, I just want to really show Him that I am trying to be a better slave. I just don't want to do something that He won't like cause then I'll be in more trouble. This is my first post, so if I broke some kind on posting rule, kindly let me know. [Bold font mine] I'm going to suggest that you work on shifting your focus. See, you want to know what *you* can do to show him how great *you* are so he can be proud to own *you. Try this. Stop thinking about what you can do* and think about what He needs. Try it. Stop yourself every time your inner dialogue starts with "I" and switch it to "He". By doing that you can accomplish two things. You can be more obedient and that will automatically allow you to be a better slave...for Him.

barelynangel -> RE: I want my Master to be proud, not disappointed (4/26/2010 5:37:56 AM)
I agree with eyesopened. If you haven't been very obedient of late and recognize this, then maybe you simply should tell him that. You can't really "make up" for disobedience, all you can do is deal with the consequences, recognize your own folly and move forward in an attempt to reach and maintain his expectations and standards. I agree with others that you should take this to him and seriously tell him what you have said here. Perhaps it will open dialogue instead of you trying to do an end run around the issues that brought you to a place where you don't believe he is proud of you. . To me that's like putting frosting on mud and calling it a chocolate cake. To me doing extra in hopes he will forget about the other, is not going to solve the issues that you have already done. That will take time and probably a concept wherein you are obedient, instead of just doing extra. angel

ResidentSadist -> RE: I want my Master to be proud, not disappointed (4/26/2010 6:10:54 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: eyesopened quote: ORIGINAL: kuppykake I was wondering what are some little things I could do to make my Master happy and proud that I'm His? I mean stuff that He doesn't have to ask me to do. I have been very disobedient towards Him recently, and I'm not trying to get out of any punishments or anything, I just want to really show Him that I am trying to be a better slave. I just don't want to do something that He won't like cause then I'll be in more trouble. This is my first post, so if I broke some kind on posting rule, kindly let me know. [Bold font mine] I'm going to suggest that you work on shifting your focus. See, you want to know what *you* can do to show him how great *you* are so he can be proud to own *you. Try this. Stop thinking about what you can do* and think about what He needs. Try it. Stop yourself every time your inner dialogue starts with "I" and switch it to "He". By doing that you can accomplish two things. You can be more obedient and that will automatically allow you to be a better slave...for Him. Very good advice and well put.

GraciousLady -> RE: I want my Master to be proud, not disappointed (4/26/2010 6:22:07 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: kuppykake I was wondering what are some little things I could do to make my Master happy and proud that I'm His? I mean stuff that He doesn't have to ask me to do. I have been very disobedient towards Him recently, and I'm not trying to get out of any punishments or anything, I just want to really show Him that I am trying to be a better slave. I just don't want to do something that He won't like cause then I'll be in more trouble. This is my first post, so if I broke some kind on posting rule, kindly let me know. Stop being disobedient! your going about this submissive thing all wrong. your supposed to be doing what he wants not what you think he wants. We can't tell you what he wants. Only you know that because he's telling you. your just not listening hence your own admission your being disobedient. Unless of course he is not being clear? Then we have a leadership problem.

lucylucy -> RE: I want my Master to be proud, not disappointed (4/26/2010 6:23:12 AM)
Someone on these boards--I wish I remembered who--advised me to simply pay attention to my Master and notice his likes and dislikes, etc. and do what he likes without having to be told. For example, he's never told me which brands of things he likes, but I've noticed and now I only buy those brands for him. He likes a bottle of water on his nightstand at night, so I make sure there's always one there before I come to bed. When I served brown rice once, he pushed it all to the side of the plate and didn't eat it, so now I never serve brown rice. Little things like that. We haven't discussed these things, but I think it makes him feel good that I've noticed these things.

UniqueRaven -> RE: I want my Master to be proud, not disappointed (4/26/2010 6:36:17 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lucylucy Someone on these boards--I wish I remembered who--advised me to simply pay attention to my Master and notice his likes and dislikes, etc. and do what he likes without having to be told. For example, he's never told me which brands of things he likes, but I've noticed and now I only buy those brands for him. He likes a bottle of water on his nightstand at night, so I make sure there's always one there before I come to bed. When I served brown rice once, he pushed it all to the side of the plate and didn't eat it, so now I never serve brown rice. Little things like that. We haven't discussed these things, but I think it makes him feel good that I've noticed these things. i'm curious - has he told you that he likes that you've noticed these things? i think often we as women do these sorts of things and men don't notice the subtle changes (like no brown rice) simply because they're happy. If they're content and nothing is "wrong" often they overlook all the little things we do. Which is fine, unless the woman involved is expecting him to notice, and to be recognized for it, and he doesn't, and chaos ensues. i'm just curious here, thinking about this. [:)]

lucylucy -> RE: I want my Master to be proud, not disappointed (4/26/2010 7:38:56 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: UniqueRaven quote: ORIGINAL: lucylucy Someone on these boards--I wish I remembered who--advised me to simply pay attention to my Master and notice his likes and dislikes, etc. and do what he likes without having to be told. For example, he's never told me which brands of things he likes, but I've noticed and now I only buy those brands for him. He likes a bottle of water on his nightstand at night, so I make sure there's always one there before I come to bed. When I served brown rice once, he pushed it all to the side of the plate and didn't eat it, so now I never serve brown rice. Little things like that. We haven't discussed these things, but I think it makes him feel good that I've noticed these things. i'm curious - has he told you that he likes that you've noticed these things? i think often we as women do these sorts of things and men don't notice the subtle changes (like no brown rice) simply because they're happy. If they're content and nothing is "wrong" often they overlook all the little things we do. Which is fine, unless the woman involved is expecting him to notice, and to be recognized for it, and he doesn't, and chaos ensues. i'm just curious here, thinking about this. [:)] No, he hasn't told me that he likes that I've noticed these things (which is why I said I think it makes him feel good that I've noticed these things). It doesn't matter to me if he actually notices these things, as long as he's happy and feels well taken care of--and he has told me that. When he's happy, I'm happy.

Kana -> RE: I want my Master to be proud, not disappointed (4/26/2010 7:43:43 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lucylucy quote: ORIGINAL: UniqueRaven quote: ORIGINAL: lucylucy Someone on these boards--I wish I remembered who--advised me to simply pay attention to my Master and notice his likes and dislikes, etc. and do what he likes without having to be told. For example, he's never told me which brands of things he likes, but I've noticed and now I only buy those brands for him. He likes a bottle of water on his nightstand at night, so I make sure there's always one there before I come to bed. When I served brown rice once, he pushed it all to the side of the plate and didn't eat it, so now I never serve brown rice. Little things like that. We haven't discussed these things, but I think it makes him feel good that I've noticed these things. i'm curious - has he told you that he likes that you've noticed these things? i think often we as women do these sorts of things and men don't notice the subtle changes (like no brown rice) simply because they're happy. If they're content and nothing is "wrong" often they overlook all the little things we do. Which is fine, unless the woman involved is expecting him to notice, and to be recognized for it, and he doesn't, and chaos ensues. i'm just curious here, thinking about this. [:)] No, he hasn't told me that he likes that I've noticed these things (which is why I said I think it makes him feel good that I've noticed these things). It doesn't matter to me if he actually notices these things, as long as he's happy and feels well taken care of--and he has told me that. When he's happy, I'm happy. Mine does this as well. For a variety of reasons I don't always comment but I do notice and it makes me feel special...and ya know what, feeling like that gives me the warm fuzzies.

UniqueRaven -> RE: I want my Master to be proud, not disappointed (4/26/2010 7:45:52 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lucylucy No, he hasn't told me that he likes that I've noticed these things (which is why I said I think it makes him feel good that I've noticed these things). It doesn't matter to me if he actually notices these things, as long as he's happy and feels well taken care of--and he has told me that. When he's happy, I'm happy. That's good, and i understand and know you well enough to know that you don't expect some sort of recognition. [;)] There are subs though that do - and struggle when he doesn't see and praise her for "everything they do for him." Typically that's why i stay away from the "observe and serve" sorts of advice - i see much better (and often more fun for him) results for him to be engaged with telling his s-type his desires vs. her just doing it. My two cents. Wandering though.... My advice to the OP is like angel said, you need to talk with him about what's going on and about how you're being disobedient, and then ask you how you can serve him better, and then do it. Sometimes the simplest - yet hardest - part of slavery is simply doing as you're told without questioning.

leadership527 -> RE: I want my Master to be proud, not disappointed (4/26/2010 8:31:52 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: UniqueRaven There are subs though that do - and struggle when he doesn't see and praise her for "everything they do for him." Typically that's why i stay away from the "observe and serve" sorts of advice - i see much better (and often more fun for him) results for him to be engaged with telling his s-type his desires vs. her just doing it. My two cents. I don't think these two things are mutually exclusive UR. PEOPLE... all people... need to feel appreciated. The direct command/obey loop makes the appreciation thing much simpler and easier and so, exactly as you said, works out well. But when there is sufficient appreciation happening in both directions already, then the "observe and serve" type things -- even if they go unnoticed -- are quietly fulfilling. Nor is this a gender linked thing or an attribute of doms or subs. It's a people thing and I get pretty cranky if Carol becomes consistently fails to notice the things that I've been accomplishing in my eagle-eye view of our relationship. For us at least, that lack of notice/appreciation happens as a result of two people operating at vastly different levels of detail and it takes constant attention to overcome. kuppycake All that being said, I agree with eyesopened's comment also... shifting the focus is key here. For Carol and I, the way our M/s relationship works is that we are both focused on the other person. That's where it becomes "magical" -- two people caring more about their partner and the union than they do about themselves. Without that, it's just a decision making process... fairly sterile and utilitarian. Insofar as the whole disobedience thing.... that just baffles me. My best advice is to just stop it. You identify as a slave. Disobedience, in my opinion, makes a mockery of that term and therefor your relationship and him as your master. Is that really what you want to be doing -- making a mockery of him? Perhaps a thought you might consider the next time you are contemplating disobeying.

reynardfox -> RE: I want my Master to be proud, not disappointed (4/26/2010 9:04:02 AM)
Find another submissive to join in as a treat.

UniqueRaven -> RE: I want my Master to be proud, not disappointed (4/26/2010 9:12:58 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: leadership527 quote: ORIGINAL: UniqueRaven There are subs though that do - and struggle when he doesn't see and praise her for "everything they do for him." Typically that's why i stay away from the "observe and serve" sorts of advice - i see much better (and often more fun for him) results for him to be engaged with telling his s-type his desires vs. her just doing it. My two cents. I don't think these two things are mutually exclusive UR. PEOPLE... all people... need to feel appreciated. The direct command/obey loop makes the appreciation thing much simpler and easier and so, exactly as you said, works out well. But when there is sufficient appreciation happening in both directions already, then the "observe and serve" type things -- even if they go unnoticed -- are quietly fulfilling. Nor is this a gender linked thing or an attribute of doms or subs. It's a people thing and I get pretty cranky if Carol becomes consistently fails to notice the things that I've been accomplishing in my eagle-eye view of our relationship. For us at least, that lack of notice/appreciation happens as a result of two people operating at vastly different levels of detail and it takes constant attention to overcome. btw, you can call me raven if you like - easier to type. [;)] There are many things that are relationship specific - which is what really most of the discussions on the boards eventually break down to. There's a reason that people are compatible with each other, as they have complimentary needs - and not all people are the same. i'm big on clarity. Huge, even. i think hidden expecations of each other are one of the things that ultimately break down relationships. So i'm thinking about this a lot lately, it has been in a few of my posts - and a potential Owner i'm speaking with has a lot of very good information for me as well that i'm also thinking about. Yes, people are people, and that's what makes each relationship unique. i personally think that if there is something he wants of me, or needs, or something i need from him, it's much easier to just say so vs. expecting someone to "just do it." Sooner of later that leads to misunderstandings. It sounds to me based upon your saying "For us at least, that lack of notice/appreciation happens as a result of two people operating at vastly different levels of detail and it takes constant attention to overcome" that the two of you recognize this in your relationship, communicate about it, and take an active role in addressing the need. This is way different from just holding expectations without communication, which is where i see the breakdown occuring in other relationships. Just thinking about this with no agenda. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

DesFIP -> RE: I want my Master to be proud, not disappointed (4/26/2010 9:35:09 AM)
Re addressing the disobedience as opposed to doing nice things for him; figure out why you were disobedient. Because you need to do that in order to not have it happen again.

leadership527 -> RE: I want my Master to be proud, not disappointed (4/26/2010 9:40:34 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: UniqueRaven ...the two of you recognize this in your relationship, communicate about it, and take an active role in addressing the need. This is way different from just holding expectations without communication, which is where i see the breakdown occuring in other relationships. I completely agree with your whole post. For us, those little "observe and serve" things are the icing, not the cake. They are not "expectations" -- they are unexpected gifts of love. That's why they can be safely ignored. To use your own word from a different post, We are both present in our marriage. If key things were being left unsaid, undone, and/or unappreciated in our marriage, it'd be a serious problem. To the original post... the "basic" that is not being handled is obedience. Express communication is happening on his part and being ignored on hers. And as I indicated, that just plain needs to get dealt with... no fooling around. Only AFTER that does the extra icing on the cake become meaningful. I wasn't disagreeing with your original post and I don't disagree with this one... more like "adding to it".

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