RE: Your PERFECT sub

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MizSuz -> RE: Your PERFECT sub (4/9/2006 5:44:24 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DiannaVesta I love what you wrote and how you articulated it. I agree that this thread should teach submissives a lot because I see that many of us generally want the same thing. I also agree that there is no perfect sub and I too prefer to have more then one. My needs are complex and I have never found one person who could give me everything I need/desire. It is not unusual for me to be in a primary relationship with one woman and then have both male and female slaves. I’ve had as many as 3 slaves living in my house with me. 2 males and 1 female. Then I may have others I like to spend time with. I get something different from each of them. I've had times in my life when it wasn't uncommon to have multiple subs around, live in or otherwise. I tend to structure my life and inner circle with what I call "liquid family" meaning they float in, may stay a while or not, then float out for a while. I also go for long periods of prefering to be alone for the most part so the 'floating out' works for me. It all seems to wax and wane for me. Besides, any masochist that thought they could take everything I have to give has a death wish (whether they know it or not). I've enjoyed your writings for a long time, Dianna. We've interacted in a couple of different places (online) and I've always enjoyed it. It's always been a bit curious to me that you and I share a lot of the same attitudes and opinions and yet I am not a supremacist. I realize that it's what works for you and not especially what works for me, but I think its an interesting statement that we are so similar and yet come from a different foundation. It's a hopeful thing for me, to see the similar and dissimilar, and appreciate both.

GoddessDustyGold -> RE: Your PERFECT sub (4/10/2006 12:27:59 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: littlesarbonn I apologize for taking up so much space to say this, but I felt it necessary as it is one of the few subjects on submission to which I have explored most of my life, and it bothers me to constantly hear someone talk about it as if he understands it when what he understands is that he wouldn't be comfortable with it. I think you expressed it beautifully. Thank you for taking the time to post. All I can say is...the weather is beautiful in Arizona! S quote: ORIGINAL: cloudboy I would argue that this is not about my "perception" as you put it, but about the reality of how submissives are. Your ideal sub is essentially a non paid butler --- and your entire description of this sub is all about what he does for you. So, I have asked you essentially three things: 1. What will you do for HIM, the sub? 2. What will motivate him to worship you and enthusiastically be your unpaid butler? 3. Why would a truly service oriented person engage himself in a non paid position when he could do the exact same thing for pay while also deriving "submissive" satisifactions of service and loyalty to an employer? If you are dealing in reality, then you must have plausible answers to these questions, and THIS is my challenge to you as a DOMME. This is far cry from me "complaining" about what you want. In the history of the CMMB as I've seen it, only Veronicaofml bore any semblance to this "ideal sub" you describe. And he, by his own admission and in the eyes of others here, was not a particularly well adjusted person. (I loved him anyway, but he was full of issues.) Next, it has already been discussed here that a person, DOMME or SUB, cannot get something for nothing. See: http://www.collarchat.com/m_242482/mpage_1/key_house%252Cwork/tm.htm#242482 So, I'm just curious if you can make the argument that I and the others on that thread were wrong, and that you are right --- that such subs do exist. Lastly, telling Linus that THE GREAT PUMPKIN doesn't exist, is not complaining. It is a challenge to Linus to pony up. You are free to fantasize, and far be it for me to rain on your fantasies --- but if you really do expect to find a RT person --- well --- to me you're just waiting for THE GREAT PUMPKIN to rise up from the pumpkin patch. Careful, cloudboy.. You are sounding more and more like RealOne every day. Notwithstanding a different font and prettily colored text, your debating styles are beginnning to blur. I notice you have also picked up "his" habit of refering readers to other threads to try to make your point...as indicated above. quote: So now you found the perfect sub as described in the other thread so tell us how you intend to make a perfect life together and what does the sub get out of it. Quote above from recent R1 thread. http://www.collarchat.com/Are_you_the_PERFECT_domme%3F/m_320860/tm.htm RealOne?? cloudboy? hmmmmm....one must wonder

cloudboy -> RE: Your PERFECT sub (4/10/2006 3:05:41 AM)
quote: Careful, cloudboy.. You are sounding more and more like RealOne every day. Notwithstanding a different font and prettily colored text, your debating styles are beginnning to blur. I notice you have also picked up "his" habit of refering readers to other threads to try to make your point...as indicated above. You might want to first try and address the actual arguments on the table and take a shot at winning those. Making up what your opponent said and then refuting that fiction (your first post) is the consumate MB low. Doing that and then accusing ME of trolling, well, that's just priceless. All I tried to do was interject a little realism into the fantasy here, which I now plainly see was completely uncalled for. No point in taking it further. Life and RT experience will teach you what sort of subs and slaves you can and cannot have. As for my experience on this particular thread, its taught me that you aren't listening to what I have to say, which is your perogative.

Proprietrix -> RE: Your PERFECT sub (4/10/2006 6:53:36 AM)
quote: You paint the perfect picture for the sub of your dreams. Who is he/she? Whatever you want. Details please! Dedicated Loyal Subservient Derives pleasure from pleasing Masculine (I agree with Laura's words: "No sissies, no forced feminization. I'm the female, not him.") Motivated Easy-going Sense of Humor Intelligent Plenty of life skills under his belt Faithful Open-minded, but not so much so that his brain falls out Physical appearance doesn't mean much so long as he takes care of himself Healthy, but not a health nut No hippies Dependable Honest NOT married 24/7 allegiance to me Asexual (The less drive, the better!) Devoted Good with kids/teens/elderly Cat-lover Trust-worthy Obedient Perceptive Organized Attentive Over 35 would be great Loves to clean house and cook meals Authentic/Genuine NOT superficial (I have NO room in my life for someone shallow or judgmental) Dilligent Doesn't come with a laundry list of kinks and fetishes they need fulfilled Into Goddess worship, but not body worship Knows the meaning of chivalry and applies it to daily life Treats me like a gem Protective I like the jealous type, but not to the extent of distrust or suspicion. Educated, and always yearning to learn more Mature Old-fashioned in many ways NOT lazy Insightful Understanding Concern for others And I'm sure the list could go on and on.....

GoddessDustyGold -> RE: Your PERFECT sub (4/10/2006 11:10:54 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: cloudboy quote: Careful, cloudboy.. You are sounding more and more like RealOne every day. You might want to first try and address the actual arguments on the table and take a shot at winning those. Making up what your opponent said and then refuting that fiction (your first post) is the consumate MB low. Doing that and then accusing ME of trolling, well, that's just priceless. All I tried to do was interject a little realism into the fantasy here, which I now plainly see was completely uncalled for. No point in taking it further. Life and RT experience will teach you what sort of subs and slaves you can and cannot have. As for my experience on this particular thread, its taught me that you aren't listening to what I have to say, which is your perogative. Sweet of you to interject a little realism, but I think the point is that we didn't ask you to. You are right. Your interjection into this thread was uncalled for. It wasn't even an attempt to understand anything. It was a dictate from on high that we have it all wrong. We have had a lot of comments regarding what would be "perfect" and since we are all reasonable and know there is no such things as perfection, this is a "dream" topic in which the Ladies were having fun. And naturally we are looking for certain (and common, I might add) qualities. We didn't seek to have a nice boy help us to get back on track. Oh wait, that would be the track that makes you comfortable, and the qualities you don't have? Not what we want to discuss? So sorry to step on your toes...do carry on!

LoneGoddess -> RE: Your PERFECT sub (4/10/2006 3:43:35 PM)
My list would take up far too much space, but I'll know him when I meet him. Good question Diana. ~LG

DiannaVesta -> RE: Your PERFECT sub (4/14/2006 7:18:57 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LoneGoddess My list would take up far too much space, but I'll know him when I meet him. Good question Diana. ~LG Take up as much space as you need. I really like to see details in describing a perfect day or weekend.

MisPandora -> RE: Your PERFECT sub (4/14/2006 11:34:37 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: cloudboy The question is NOT about what FEMDOMS are into, or wish for, or want, and its not about what I want either--- the question is whether a particular kind of male-sub (previously described) actually exists in real life or not. If he does not exist, then it would seem ill advised for FEMDOMs to search and wait for him. Actually, it WAS the OP. GDV explicitly asked the femdoms who their fantasy ideal sub was, and an ideal day. Seems like you're bent out of shape that no one will entertain your post hijacking!

TeeGO -> RE: Your PERFECT sub (4/14/2006 11:50:46 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MisPandora Seems like you're bent out of shape that no one will entertain your post hijacking! BINGO! It's not that what he's talking about is a bad subject for debate. But it's not at all what this thread is about.

LaTigresse -> RE: Your PERFECT sub (4/15/2006 7:25:28 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Your Queen quote: ORIGINAL: DiannaVesta You paint the perfect picture for the sub of your dreams. Who is he/she? Whatever you want. Details please! I have my perfect sub sitting at my feet. His name is Fido, ok, so it's not really Fido, but he is my dog, my loyal companion, submissive to the core and never, ever fails me. He won't tolerate abuse, but provided that he is getting his needs met, he will do whatever he is asked to do within his ability. He accepts and loves me for everything that I am, he expects nothing more from me than care and attention and loving discipline and guidance. He doesn't bitch and cry or act out when he's unhappy, he lets me know in a very gentle way by simply nudging my hand. He would defend me from allcomers. I'd swim through an ocean of molasses to get to him. In my opinion, the best role model any submissive wish for is a well trained and contented dog in human form. OMG!!!! I just loved this one so much! As I sit here reading in a dark house with a beautiful wild thunderstorm outside and a beautiful german shepherd dog laying by my feet. She is a rescue and very emotionally high maintenance but just about perfect in all her imperfections. Thank you for the smile and little bit of laughter!

TexasMaam -> RE: Your PERFECT sub (4/15/2006 9:22:17 PM)
My perfect sub would be My current sub, with very few minor adjustments. 1. he'd be more of a pain puppy and less of a wuss 2. he'd complain less instead of griping about everything 3. he'd be much more genteel and mannerly, but he's kind of an obnoxious yankee so that one's a long shot. I'm working on points one and two, TexasMaam

BlkTallFullfig -> RE: Your PERFECT sub (4/16/2006 5:18:18 AM)
I decided to play along, and list my ideal; sorry it wont be original because all of the ladies before me have pretty much covered it. My perfect sub would be: 1)Strong -MUST be strong in mind and at least half way there in body 2)Submissive by nature in Female-male relationships 3)Enjoys conversation, but is okay with quiet moments 4)The ability to trust Me without reservation 5)Thoughtful, Kind, CHIVALROUS, attentive 6)Is Easygoing, and grounded, but not so grounded he lacks imagination, ability to hope and dream 7)Domestically Inclined : i.e. cleaning, cooking 8)Open minded, tolerant, politically middle of the road or liberal 9)Is modest, blushes easily 10)Is nicely endowed and it WORKS in response to me, not my threatening to make him do a man 11)Is sane, and comfortable with intimacy and commitment 12)We share chemistry: that certain je ne sais quoi that makes me want to connect to his soul in a carnal way.... There's more, but these are the basics, LOL. Have to add from last posts: 13)Doesn't come with a laundry list of kinks and fetishes they need fulfilled 14)I like the slightly jealous type, but not to the extent of distrust or suspicion 15)No sissies, or people wanting to be feminized. I'm the female, not him 16)Is over 34, and enjoys sex. M

LoneGoddess -> RE: Your PERFECT sub (4/17/2006 4:28:41 AM)
Okay Diana, I'll bite. This is posted on my blog on another site, we both post on. Generally speaking it's a criteria list. Though, I used to call it my magic list as every time I'd come up with one, he'd pop into my life. I soon learned I needed to really specific about what I asked the universe for, because if I left out anything, I'd end up missing it. This has been refined and redone so many times, and I could still add to it. Damnit. My perfect sub would have all of these qualities and then some... I've left off the physical descriptives, because God forbid the cute blond wouldn't contact me because I mentioned I favor darkheaded boys, lol. PERSONAL INTERESTS: Someone who strives to better himself. Someone who shares common interests with me. Someone who loves to travel. Someone who's willing to try new and different things. Someone who keeps up with current affairs. Someone with a conservative political bent. Someone who enjoys reading and learning. Someone who finds Sunday afternoons perfect for a drive. Someone who is not a sports fanatic leaving me to myself for weekend afternoons. LOVE STYLE: Someone who will believe in my dreams and me. Someone attentive to my needs in all ways. Someone who is romantic or at least a bit mushy/corny about love. Someone who knows how to love and isn't obsessive about it. Someone who's not afraid of intimacy, closeness and sharing all. Someone who is affectionate and shows it even in public. Someone who challenges (not in a D/s sense boys!) me daily in some little way and yet I do the same for him. Someone who's passionate, about life and me and is not afraid to show it. SEXUAL STYLE: Someone who is a one-woman man. Monogamously inclined. Someone who's not afraid to lose control in the bedroom to his lady on a regular basis (submissive with a bit of masochism?). Someone who loves me for who I am, not just what I can do for him sexually speaking. Someone who has a healthy attitude about sex and is comfortable with his own sexuality. Someone who can sweep me off my feet with a word or two or a look in his eyes. SOCIAL STYLE: Someone with a sense of humor, be it dry and sarcastic (like mine), or silly and playful. Someone with a bit of spontaneity. Not lots, just a smidge. Someone who loves and values his family. Someone respected by his peers. Someone who is warm and friendly to others. HEALTH PRACTICES: Someone who doesn't use anything any more mind altering than pot once in a while. Someone who strives to take care of himself. Works out/eats right, etc. Someone who doesn't use tobacco products. Someone who enjoys staying active, daily/weekly. Someone who doesn't drink too much. Socially only and that rarely. PHILISOPHICAL & MORAL ATTITUDES: Someone who's not afraid to tell the truth even if it hurts. Someone who is not driven completely by his ego. Someone with old-fashioned values. Monogamous. Someone who wants a committed relationship. Someone who is capable of unconditional love. Someone who loves kids and animals. TASTES IN ART, ENTERTAINMENT & CLOTHING: Someone who'd be comfortable in a museum, art gallery and antique shop, sex toy store. Someone who loves most types of music. Someone who dresses up nicely but is mainly casual and is comfortable naked. Someone who enjoys movies and the theatre, concerts, etc. Someone who likes all flavors when it comes to the culinary arts. Dines anywhere ethnic. EDUCATIONAL BACKGROUND: Someone who is smart enough to know he doesn't know everything, but would like to. Someone who has a higher education. COMMUNICATIONAL THINGS: Someone who listens to me. Someone who expresses his feelings easily. Someone I can talk to into the wee hours or longer just because we feel like it or we just can't stop and who's not afraid to share everything about himself, no matter if it's something he thinks may put me off, and vice versa. Someone who's not afraid to admit when he's wrong. Someone with whom there are no taboo subjects he's able to talk about anything. Someone who can just be silent, in those moments when words are completely unnecessary. SPIRITUAL & RELIGIOUS INTERESTS: Someone who is not into organized dogmatic religion/s. Someone who believes in God basically but doesn't believe he has to go to 'church' to have his faith. PROFESSIONAL & FINANCIAL GOALS: Someone who is not completely driven by money or the lack of it. A healthy dose of it is okay. Someone who dreams big but knows how to make it happen. Good at planning to achieve his goals. Someone who enjoys his career/work and doesn't bring it home at night. MENTAL HEALTH - ABUSE ISSUES: Someone who can control his temper or doesn't have one. Someone who knows how to express his anger without being abusive. Yes, I ask for a lot, or so it would seem, but he'd need to keep in mind, these are all qualities I have to offer of my own too. ~LG

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