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RE: How common are subs? - 4/26/2010 11:38:00 PM   
sublizzie


Posts: 1252
Joined: 5/26/2004
Status: offline 		My youngest turned 18 within the first 3 weeks of senior year, was never held back but did graduate 4th in the class.

From watching my UMs and their friends, they were busy experimenting with who they were and weren't in high school and college. One knew absolutely that they were submissive in high school and is now very definitely a dominant, just a few years later.

I agree with those who told you to get used to being in a relationship. You may be dominant but, in a few years, you may not. Explore what works for you right now and be aware that it could change. You've got time before you're ready to get into a serious relationship, vanilla or kinky.

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Profile   Post #: 21
RE: How common are subs? - 4/27/2010 6:30:26 AM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ParanoidSadist

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

You are a kid, just fuck them. You got a few decades to figure the rest out.
Is this serious? Look below.


Abosolutely! Look, if a kid who was 14 told you he had himself all figured out, would you believe him? How about someone who was 6, or even an infant? I know, they are SO much younger than you, you can see how mature you are.

Well, I am older than you are by more than you are older than that infant. Perhaps I see something you don't, have experiences you don't etc. Its like you were stressing out about retirement at your age, don't fucking worry about it, you got decades to figure it out. Go out and have fun, experiment, try new things, new combinations, fuck tall one, short ones, funny ones, quiet ones.

All of that will shape and change you AND bring out who you really are, it will happen and in fact, the more you try and shape it, the less real it will become because it is what you THINK you want rather than what you really are.



< Message edited by SimplyMichael -- 4/27/2010 6:35:27 AM >

(in reply to ParanoidSadist)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: How common are subs? - 4/27/2010 6:53:30 AM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		Meet strange women in San Francisco, argue with them up and down the street, eat fabulous Indian food, drink beer, and call yourself a man.




*and forget about the high school thing. THEY are still figuring their stuff out, too, you know. Wait till their Venus returns.

< Message edited by sunshinemiss -- 4/27/2010 6:55:37 AM >

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RE: How common are subs? - 4/27/2010 6:56:54 AM   
lally2


Posts: 2621
Joined: 4/16/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ParanoidSadist

quote:

ORIGINAL: Toppingfrmbottom

In highschool, I doubt there's very many, and no if a girl likes you it don't automatically mean she'll act submissive to you.
Isn't a submissive personality something that starts at childhood? I still have no idea how common they are.

its one thing to be of a submissive personality, i certainly was from an early age, but i was not responsive to Dominance at that age.  in fact i rebelled against it.  immaturity, unself aware, a free spirit after years of being under the thumb of parents and school.  first bit of freedom and i wanted to be free.  i ended up in a Ds relationship at 21 and rebelled massively because the control over me felt claustrophobic.  i submitted to the guy but in the end his increasing control over me and every move i made just made me want to run.  i just was not ready at that age

quote:

ORIGINAL: Toppingfrmbottom

.High school girls are unlikely to self-identify as subs. Most don't even know what the word means. Just try dating, son. Get to know girls/women as marvelous humans. Sure, girls have rounder parts and smell nice--but even if they were sub, they would still be more than the sum of your sexual fantasies.

full on!! - i didnt self identify until about ten years later when i found all of this on the web and thought, wow, thats me.  since then ive been working hard on learning how to hand over control, how to trust to that level, how to actually submit emotionally and physically



I want more than just sex from a girl. I want a girl that I can actually love. I thought I couldn't love, but I was wrong. I just need to be in control.
quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub
Just interact with the girls you are interested in and figure out what kind of dynamic makes you happy right now.
What do you mean? I'll be happy when I bond with a sub. I can't go on without a mate.

then i would suggest you approach girls of youre own age who have self identified, like from a place like this.  you asked in youre OP if you should slowly dominate them - ABSOLUTELY NOT - that is what happened to me.  i had no idea what was going on, it actually screwed me up for about 5 years afterwards.  i had no idea what the guy was trying to do until i read it all up on the internet a decade later.  i resented his control deeply, i resented him even more.  i ended up confused and angry.  that is in fact the single most arrogant assumption you could make (sorry) but you need to understand what youre doing before you go messing about with another human being.  the woman needs to be on board and on the same page.  Safe Sane and Concensual - this is an ADULT relationship and you need to approach it with adult responsibility.
.
.


_____________________________

So all I have to do in order to serve him, is to work out exactly how improbable he is, feed that figure into the finite improbability generator, give him a fresh cup of really hot tea ... and turn him on!

(in reply to ParanoidSadist)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: How common are subs? - 4/27/2010 7:05:13 AM   
antinomy


Posts: 124
Joined: 3/7/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ParanoidSadist


What do you mean? I'll be happy when I bond with a sub. I can't go on without a mate.





Kiddo, not only CAN you go on without a mate, you probably should for quite some time.  I married at 24, and sheesh, I had NO idea who I was, let alone who he was.  We both still had a lot of life to figure out, and being mated sure complicated the process.  Throw in a kid or two, and your life becomes more about survival than about living.

Enjoy being 18.  Don't worry about being a Dom- or a mate.  Sure, look for a compatible girl, but don't think every girl you date has to be THE ONE.  We learn more about ourselves from the mistakes we make than we do from our successes.  The woman who will one day BE your submissive will thank you for it.  Because you will be an experienced, emotionally mature, and thoughtful man who can appreciate her precisely because of what you have learned about relationships, women, and D/s. 

(in reply to ParanoidSadist)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: How common are subs? - 4/27/2010 7:11:47 AM   
Phoenixpower


Posts: 8098
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Toppingfrmbottom

I considered myself submissive when I was 18 19 20 21 ect ect, but I wasn't a very good one. I was very head strong and it required someone very strong and dedicated, which I never found.


I was 27....and personal changes within my life lead me down that path of the way...whilst I always had some aspects of it until then I was far too assertive to ever let a guy be in charge....however...at times life can change you and you discover yourself in different ways.

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Profile   Post #: 26
RE: How common are subs? - 4/27/2010 7:25:09 AM   
lally2


Posts: 2621
Joined: 4/16/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Phoenixpower


quote:

ORIGINAL: Toppingfrmbottom

I considered myself submissive when I was 18 19 20 21 ect ect, but I wasn't a very good one. I was very head strong and it required someone very strong and dedicated, which I never found.


I was 27....and personal changes within my life lead me down that path of the way...whilst I always had some aspects of it until then I was far too assertive to ever let a guy be in charge....however...at times life can change you and you discover yourself in different ways.


as above

i do think a submissive type has a lot to understand about themselves before they can actually be good at being submissive.  at 18 youre far too selfish, busy being free spirited and wild, thats the time to be those things.  doesnt make for a good submissive. (though of course there are some young women who are sufficiently self aware to handle it, i would suggest they are in the minority)

a guy wrote to me on the other side about how so many young women were identifying as Dommes, so few were actually submissive in nature and i wrote back and said - yeah, cos theyre learning about themselves and to learn about youreself you have to be free to do so.  the young women identifying as Dommes are asserting their sexuality because theyre coming from a less than confident corner right now.  they may continue as Dommes, ditch the whole thing or find that theyre more comfy as subs.  but right now they need the space to grow and learn and as a sub thats not so easy unless they find themselves someone who is so self identified and careful as a Dominant that they are safe to explore with him.

< Message edited by lally2 -- 4/27/2010 7:26:35 AM >

_____________________________

So all I have to do in order to serve him, is to work out exactly how improbable he is, feed that figure into the finite improbability generator, give him a fresh cup of really hot tea ... and turn him on!

(in reply to Phoenixpower)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: How common are subs? - 4/27/2010 8:12:59 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		Well, they ain't common enough that you can have 4-5 sucking on your dick at one time, at least in my neck of the woods, I know, I tried.

Ron

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Profile   Post #: 28
RE: How common are subs? - 4/27/2010 8:15:04 AM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

Well, they ain't common enough that you can have 4-5 sucking on your dick at one time, at least in my neck of the woods, I know, I tried.

Ron
your dick is THAT big?

send pics


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RE: How common are subs? - 4/27/2010 8:21:37 AM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

D/s is nothing more than a relationship with "something extra".  Get experienced with relationships first.
i agree with Steven.

A relationship with a submissive is, first and foremost, a relationship.

Did i just say i agreed with Steven? Ohhhhhh Lordie.....


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TECHNO-DOLT
MEMBER OF THE SUBBIE MAFIA
GRACEFULLY CHALLENGED :::::splat:::::
BOOT WHORE
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Profile   Post #: 30
RE: How common are subs? - 4/27/2010 8:32:00 AM   
SassySarijane


Posts: 1558
Joined: 12/20/2007
From: KC Area Missouri
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

D/s is nothing more than a relationship with "something extra".  Get experienced with relationships first.



This. It really, honestly is. Relationship is the key word to focus on and build from there.

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Sarah2
Deviant Mind
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Profile   Post #: 31
RE: How common are subs? - 4/27/2010 9:23:00 AM   
Wolf2Bear


Posts: 3204
Joined: 9/6/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SassySarijane


quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

D/s is nothing more than a relationship with "something extra".  Get experienced with relationships first.



This. It really, honestly is. Relationship is the key word to focus on and build from there.


Actually sari I got an email this morning saying the spring sub hunt has been extended another 2 weeks and now runs from May 1 to May 30th. Seems that there's a population explosion and the population desperately needs to be culled.


_____________________________

~Resident Sadist Approved~

Take the pain
Take the pleasure
I'm the master of both
Close your eyes, not your mind
Let me into your soul
I'm gonna work it 'til your totally blown

(in reply to SassySarijane)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: How common are subs? - 4/27/2010 9:24:50 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		damn, and me without a license....

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Profile   Post #: 33
RE: How common are subs? - 4/27/2010 9:37:38 AM   
afkarr


Posts: 328
Joined: 1/13/2010
Status: offline 		The LAST people kinky highschoolers should be playing with are other kinky highschoolers. Really, spanking your prom date is a bad idea; spanking her hot little friends is an even worse one. I know it's hard to beleive, but countless 18 year old boys throughout the history of mankind have survived without getting laid, like, right now; proof positive that you most certainly will be able to "go on without mate" for quite some time.

You really want to dive headfirst into the "lifestyle"?? Find a friendly kinky cougar to show you the ropes, figuratively and literally. Make your mistakes with someone mature enough to handle them instead of risking screwing up some unfortunate blossoming flower. Live a little, learn a lot, get your heart broken a few times, discover the real you; then find a nice freak your own age, say, when you are about 30.


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Profile   Post #: 34
RE: How common are subs? - 4/27/2010 9:45:14 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: afkarr

The LAST people kinky highschoolers should be playing with are other kinky highschoolers. Really, spanking your prom date is a bad idea; spanking her hot little friends is an even worse one. I know it's hard to beleive, but countless 18 year old boys throughout the history of mankind have survived without getting laid, like, right now; proof positive that you most certainly will be able to "go on without mate" for quite some time.

You really want to dive headfirst into the "lifestyle"?? Find a friendly kinky cougar to show you the ropes, figuratively and literally. Make your mistakes with someone mature enough to handle them instead of risking screwing up some unfortunate blossoming flower. Live a little, learn a lot, get your heart broken a few times, discover the real you; then find a nice freak your own age, say, when you are about 30.




BRILLIANTLY said!

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polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

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Profile   Post #: 35
RE: How common are subs? - 4/27/2010 9:57:15 AM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ParanoidSadist

quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

highschool - highschool?
The forums are for 18 yr and up. If any of us start answering highschool submission questions or BDSM tips & tricks for playground equipment (love monkeybars) we are gonna get in trouble.
I am 18.


my bad . . . I thought high school ended by then.

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Profile   Post #: 36
RE: How common are subs? - 4/27/2010 9:58:47 AM   
Wolf2Bear


Posts: 3204
Joined: 9/6/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

quote:

ORIGINAL: ParanoidSadist

quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

highschool - highschool?
The forums are for 18 yr and up. If any of us start answering highschool submission questions or BDSM tips & tricks for playground equipment (love monkeybars) we are gonna get in trouble.
I am 18.


my bad . . . I thought high school ended by then.


Yes you are bad...now go to my room!


_____________________________

~Resident Sadist Approved~

Take the pain
Take the pleasure
I'm the master of both
Close your eyes, not your mind
Let me into your soul
I'm gonna work it 'til your totally blown

(in reply to ResidentSadist)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: How common are subs? - 4/27/2010 11:17:28 AM   
SassySarijane


Posts: 1558
Joined: 12/20/2007
From: KC Area Missouri
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Wolf2Bear

quote:

ORIGINAL: SassySarijane


quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

D/s is nothing more than a relationship with "something extra".  Get experienced with relationships first.



This. It really, honestly is. Relationship is the key word to focus on and build from there.


Actually sari I got an email this morning saying the spring sub hunt has been extended another 2 weeks and now runs from May 1 to May 30th. Seems that there's a population explosion and the population desperately needs to be culled.



Dammit Bear! Why did you have to announce it where subbie hunters err sadists could see?

~ducks and runs like hell to hide~

_____________________________

Sarah2
Deviant Mind
Wild Side Readers
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(in reply to Wolf2Bear)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: How common are subs? - 4/27/2010 11:19:46 AM   
SassySarijane


Posts: 1558
Joined: 12/20/2007
From: KC Area Missouri
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Wolf2Bear

quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

quote:

ORIGINAL: ParanoidSadist

quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

highschool - highschool?
The forums are for 18 yr and up. If any of us start answering highschool submission questions or BDSM tips & tricks for playground equipment (love monkeybars) we are gonna get in trouble.
I am 18.


my bad . . . I thought high school ended by then.


Yes you are bad...now go to my room!



Bear are you sure you know what you're getting into by sending him to your room? You might just be biting off more than you could chew so to speak.

~Psst...I want the uncut DVD lol~

_____________________________

Sarah2
Deviant Mind
Wild Side Readers
LPTnB

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Profile   Post #: 39
RE: How common are subs? - 4/27/2010 12:10:02 PM   
Wolf2Bear


Posts: 3204
Joined: 9/6/2009
Status: offline 		Well Sari, you keep forgetting that I do have a sadistic streak in me and all I have to say is....Bring It On!

_____________________________

~Resident Sadist Approved~

Take the pain
Take the pleasure
I'm the master of both
Close your eyes, not your mind
Let me into your soul
I'm gonna work it 'til your totally blown

(in reply to SassySarijane)
Profile   Post #: 40
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