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Prepairing to jump and knowing there is no saftynet - 4/6/2006 2:54:41 AM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline 		This is one that I'm sure a number of you here will know the feeling of. My girl already knows what she wants and where this is going, but at the same time it is a big step to give yourself compleatly to another and her stomach is all of a flutter. She already trusts but again this is the first really big leap of faith, intelectualy knowing I'll be there to catch her but because this in the first major step there isn't anything of this scale that has gone before to make it less scary emotionaly.

Standing at the edge waiting for these last few days to pass so we can be together again, knowing that once she steps off I will show her just how far the rabbithole goes. (No blue pill for that brave girl Neo). But only so much *I* can do to help her till we are together (I've got the move of flat comming tomorrow and will be sorting the place over the weekend)

No need to tell many of you just how nervious she is feeling (In a nice and excited way for the most part but yes a little fear in there too), but how did you get over those last few days where you knew what was coming? What did you do that made it easier in the times when your Master couldn't be activly helping you with it?


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This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

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RE: Prepairing to jump and knowing there is no saftynet - 4/6/2006 5:09:18 AM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
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You already have my thoughts on the subject Raven.  

/hands out a big hug to Raven and his Girl

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RE: Prepairing to jump and knowing there is no saftynet - 4/6/2006 5:24:40 AM   
catize


Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline 		Submission is a leap of faith even in the best of circumstances.  It helps to concentrate on the excitement of the positive possibilities.  I reminded myself that this was what I wanted, here was my chance to learn and grow.  And I ignored the fact that I was nauseous, lol.


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RE: Prepairing to jump and knowing there is no saftynet - 4/6/2006 6:23:09 AM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline 		I can certainly understand and relate to her feelings of fear and uncertainy.  It sounds as though from what you say that she is making the move.  If I was in her place,  I would feel so much better and less insecure with a little extra attention from you, reassuring her that you are committed, that you love her, that you want this,etc.

I wish you the best and hope it all works out for you!

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RE: Prepairing to jump and knowing there is no saftynet - 4/6/2006 6:39:04 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Other than making sure I knew what to expect, planning things out as best as I could and taking time to "reorient" with eachother...it's a big bumpy ride on a journey that has months to go before it even starts to settle.

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RE: Prepairing to jump and knowing there is no saftynet - 4/6/2006 6:52:38 AM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: windchymes
If I was in her place,  I would feel so much better and less insecure with a little extra attention from you, reassuring her that you are committed, that you love her, that you want this,etc.


Thats what I have of course been doing, she certainly hasn't been short of my attention. The next few days are going to be less so given I have a new flat to get sorted out, but she knows I'm not going to be totaly out of contact. Just the thought that she is mine makes it impossible not to grin from ear to ear so no matter how busy I am she isn't far from my thoughts and I'm sure she will get a few texts and maybe a call or two even when I am upto my neck in unpacking.


_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

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RE: Prepairing to jump and knowing there is no saftynet - 4/6/2006 6:58:05 AM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		Fire

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RE: Prepairing to jump and knowing there is no saftynet - 4/6/2006 7:10:06 AM   
slavejali


Posts: 2918
Status: offline 		I got busy, really busy. I didnt have much contact with Master for a day or two before he arrived as he was travelling. Short intermittant phonecalls between flights etc. I found myself vacillating during this time between expressions of excitement and expressing my greatest fears. I really cant remember that time very well, I believe I was in some kind of state of shock.He gave me a list of things to do and have prepared which was a godsend and kept my mind focused. One of the things He had asked was for me to cut some switches from one of the willow trees, I did that as I drove out the driveway, had bought some ribbon and scissors and roses with me and as I sat in the car in the airport before his arrival time, I braided the switches a bit, entwined them with ribbon and threaded them with roses., making a switch bouquet *grin*. It was quite pretty, hanging down almost to the floor, it got a lot of looks as I stood in the terminal waiting for him to walk out from arrivals gate*grin* I was asbolutely terrified at that time, I really had fright and flight syndrome, it took all my energy to stay there...I made up a mantra "Everythings gonna be alright..everythings gonna be alright..everythings gonna be alright." hehe..and sure enough, the moment I felt his arms around me "I knew everything was gonna be alright".

Note: That flight and fright syndrome I experienced was nothing to do with Master, or had any baring on logic whatsoever, it was all ungrounded spastic fears of panic.

Well maybe it wasnt totally unfounded cuz Masters arrival meant a total 360 degree turn of my life again.

< Message edited by slavejali -- 4/6/2006 7:13:32 AM >

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RE: Prepairing to jump and knowing there is no saftynet - 4/6/2006 8:33:46 AM   
ivorylace


Posts: 56
Joined: 3/26/2006
Status: offline 		The only advice I can give is she needs to keep busy.  Focus on her travel plans, think of the wonderful things that await her, and just keep busy..lol.

But maybe having her write down her thoughts as doing so will keep her mind on You when You cannot be there to help her through it.

~lace

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RE: Prepairing to jump and knowing there is no saftynet - 4/6/2006 9:18:12 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		Can you give her some things to keep her mind on you and what's building?  Like some exercises to do.  Or things to think about in preparation for your meeting?  A girl knows that her Dom will catch her when he demonstrates that he's there for her, in whatever capacity works for them.  The fact that you've told her you will communicate with her in the middle of your busy time is something she can hold on to.

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RE: Prepairing to jump and knowing there is no saftynet - 4/6/2006 9:44:34 AM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline 		My stiuation was a little different i decided i wanted to be Master and i saw him every day (save weekends) after that and still do.  I did not really have time to be nervous.  In the first 3 days we talked all we did was talk with a few kisses here and there for 16 hours.  So when we played for the first time i was still a little nervous but not as nervous as i could have been.

Raven congrats and best wishes for you and your girl.

Matt's littleone

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RE: Prepairing to jump and knowing there is no saftynet - 4/6/2006 9:51:30 AM   
Submotive


Posts: 440
Joined: 9/9/2005
Status: offline 		Warm wishes to Y/you both RavenMuse. Yes, anything new comes wrapped in the combination of excitement and fear. It's natural, to be expected and accepted. But without newness and change life becomes stale and dull - so when considering the alternative, the fear doesn't seem so bad.

i find that life is much like a scene - the exciting anticipation of doing something that's only been in my head for a long time, and the fear of how will i really experience it in reality? But personally, i really wouldn't want it any other way and me thinks neither would You or Your girl.

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RE: Prepairing to jump and knowing there is no saftynet - 4/6/2006 10:18:33 AM   
kisshou


Posts: 2425
Joined: 2/11/2005
Status: offline 		The Owner kept me super busy doing all kinds of small tasks while he was busy travelling. This left me with no time to stress out or get nervous. 

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RE: Prepairing to jump and knowing there is no saftynet - 4/6/2006 10:43:24 AM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ivorylace
But maybe having her write down her thoughts as doing so will keep her mind on You when You cannot be there to help her through it.


Having a slight DOH moment as I had thought this then dismissed it because I'm going to be offline for several days whilst the ADSL gets switched on...... Erm, hows that for totaly forgetting about hardcopy


_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

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RE: Prepairing to jump and knowing there is no saftynet - 4/6/2006 10:54:59 AM   
MHOO314


Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline 		<smiles> I so know that feeling Raven as you shared My last few days before that West Coast trip--I am sure the boy will respond before long--
 
but I went out of My way to fill those days with focus--he had protocols to study and work on, he had errands and shopping to do--(now mind You--I was going to him, so he had to prepare the house, not I)--he had a list of things I expected to be in the house when I arrived--certain items in addition--specific foods---he had to cut and prepare a 12 foot chain--and of course the house had to be cleaned--I called him a few times a day, even called between each leg of My flight the day I travelled--I basically "picked up the pace and turned up the heat"--
 
it worked.

and I am so happy and excited for you--O/our thoughts are with you.

< Message edited by MHOO314 -- 4/6/2006 10:59:05 AM >

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RE: Prepairing to jump and knowing there is no saftynet - 4/6/2006 11:59:18 AM   
ivorylace


Posts: 56
Joined: 3/26/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RavenMuse

quote:

ORIGINAL: ivorylace
But maybe having her write down her thoughts as doing so will keep her mind on You when You cannot be there to help her through it.


Having a slight DOH moment as I had thought this then dismissed it because I'm going to be offline for several days whilst the ADSL gets switched on...... Erm, hows that for totaly forgetting about hardcopy



LOL, You do seem able to make me laugh!!

~lace

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RE: Prepairing to jump and knowing there is no saftynet - 4/6/2006 12:23:38 PM   
enthralled


Posts: 249
Joined: 9/13/2005
From: Nashville, Tn
Status: offline 		Something I've memorized . . . .

"When you come to the edge of all the light you have, and must take a step into the darkness of the unknown, believe that one of two things will happen to you: either there will be something solid for you to stand on, or you will be taught how to fly." --Einstein

Seems weird but it helps. ~smiles~
 
~enthralled

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RE: Prepairing to jump and knowing there is no saftynet - 4/6/2006 3:46:30 PM   
amaidiamond


Posts: 1793
Joined: 2/6/2006
From: Watford / London
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RavenMuse

This is one that I'm sure a number of you here will know the feeling of. My girl already knows what she wants and where this is going, but at the same time it is a big step to give yourself compleatly to another and her stomach is all of a flutter. She already trusts but again this is the first really big leap of faith, intelectualy knowing I'll be there to catch her but because this in the first major step there isn't anything of this scale that has gone before to make it less scary emotionaly.

Standing at the edge waiting for these last few days to pass so we can be together again, knowing that once she steps off I will show her just how far the rabbithole goes. (No blue pill for that brave girl Neo). But only so much *I* can do to help her till we are together (I've got the move of flat comming tomorrow and will be sorting the place over the weekend)

No need to tell many of you just how nervious she is feeling (In a nice and excited way for the most part but yes a little fear in there too), but how did you get over those last few days where you knew what was coming? What did you do that made it easier in the times when your Master couldn't be activly helping you with it?




I guess I really should throw my two cents into this, grins, and open my big mouth on public boards again.

Sir, whilst you know i am applying breaks i hope you also know that I am not applying them because of "You"  - it is not that I am afraid of you, or that I am afraid of what is happening, more that i am afraid of what is happening so fast, I need to make sure I am emotionally ready and emotionally secure in myself before I step off a ledge, to me its a very big thing, the giving of onself and before i do even if it be for consideration I need to make sure that I am doing the right thing.
My two years with my ex was a wonderfull time and although we didn't work out I still care deeply, I want to make sure that I am not rusing into anything "serious" too quickly, last thing i want to do is bounce into something on the rebound, you know the person I was last seeing it kind of just happend, I ended up in a *relationship* when last I knew I was still gathering my thoughts. I basically need to make sure that deep inside me i'm doing the right thing for the right reasons.
The few weeks around my mothers passing are always very rough for me and emotionally I am not as strong as I should be, I need to make sure that whatever i get into i am 100% there, 100% concious and 100% commited and able to do that with a clear mind.
Yes I am afraid, I have not been in anything like a deep D/s relationship in 3 years when I was my ex in America and you know how that worked out, it scares me to think about handing over that level of vulnerability to a person, of opening myself that way and trusting that much  - it's not that I think that *you* would do anything like what happened there but also my self preservation is very strong.

I guess what I am saying is that I really really like you, the dynamic between us was strong and instant and woke up a lot in me that had lain dorment for a long time, in regards to how to help me please, the best way is to be slow with me, I have an internal fight or flight mechanism when things scare me and I don't want to run from this, I have no intention of it. I have always tried to be 100% honest with you, I am not a game player or a fake, I am far from perfect, come with emotional baggage and have pretty much been running my own life for the past two years, I have physicality issues and can be very insecure, I know these things about myself and i am working on them, and the support you have offered I am very greatfull for.
In regards to helping me, You don't need to *do* anything, just being the wonderfull person you are and letting me get to know you is all that I ask for, I can't promise it will be instant, that I will turn up and trust will fall into place like a curtain but I can promise I will try.

:)


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RE: Prepairing to jump and knowing there is no saftynet - 4/6/2006 3:53:56 PM   
fastlane


Posts: 2159
Joined: 5/26/2005
Status: offline 		My friend with the big black boots who resides across the pond. You have all the answers, which is why she seeks you...Ya big clutz!
Be yourself and she will be hers and together you two will be AWESOME!
Congrat's on the flat....and your future....It is all good for you, Raven. Don't ask, ENJOY!

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RE: Prepairing to jump and knowing there is no saftynet - 4/6/2006 6:37:55 PM   
amaidiamond


Posts: 1793
Joined: 2/6/2006
From: Watford / London
Status: offline 		Grins, I'd agree, You Raven Sir is the best thing I think You could possibly be, then again i'm rather biased

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