RE: Tops Disease

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: Tops Disease

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> RE: Tops Disease

Page: << < prev 1 2 [3]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Tops Disease - 4/7/2006 10:16:49 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: acctonthelook
Your great at explaining things when I read your posts, can you elaborate on this?

Sadism is simply getting pleasure from giving another person pain.

There's no conflict between getting pleasure from giving another person pain AND getting pleasure from submitting to another's authority within a relationship. We're complex people.

Not to mention- some doms are masochists.

There tend to be two types of sadists. One I consider "fluffy" types- they only like to give "pain" if the other person is directly enjoying it. The other type of sadist is the scary kind- they just like giving pain, they love seeing suffering.

That might be hard to reconcile- someone who REALLY likes seeing another person REALLY in pain, and yet can still be a good guy. Lots of sadists have a problem with this themselves- how they can unleash their desires and yet still see themselves as a good person. In time they either learn how to reconcile the two, become fluffy, or live in conflict.

Something that might help you is the difference between an ethical sadist and an unethical sadist.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to acctonthelook)

Profile

Post #: 41

RE: Tops Disease - 4/7/2006 10:28:02 PM

TxBadMan

Posts: 198
Joined: 4/7/2006
From: Moody, Texas
Status: offline

quote:

There tend to be two types of sadists. One I consider "fluffy" types- they only like to give "pain" if the other person is directly enjoying it. The other type of sadist is the scary kind- they just like giving pain, they love seeing suffering.

Let's not forget those who only enjoy the mental aspect of sadism; though I guess they could be grouped with what you have here.
For myself, I am what you would refer to as the scary type. I not only like giving pain, I push for the suffering that she will feel. I am lucky in that my GF enjoys it just as much though.

_____________________________

Chris

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Profile

Post #: 42

RE: Tops Disease - 4/8/2006 12:42:17 PM

JoeT2000

Posts: 32
Joined: 4/4/2006
Status: offline

LuckyAlbatross...

I choked on my coffee when I read your "fluffy sadist" line... can I send you my dry cleaning ?

Actually, I agree with you, although it did make me laugh. Yes there are Sadists in this world who enjoy giving extreme pain regardless of the other party's wishes... to me, this is abuse.

I suppose I would qualify as a "fluffy sadist". Do I enjoy giving pain... yes... in that I equate it in a stable D/s relationship with psycho drama, training, and a release of endorphins (very close to pleasure for some submissives). There is also use of pain as assisting a submissive into an altered state of consciousness, or "sub space". This actually goes far beyond the D/s community, and has been widely used in shamanistic practice. Were the practitioners sadists (possibly lol).

That said, I wouldn't enter into any D/s relationship without a firm basis of communication, knowing limits (not just what someone doesn't want to do, but finding out their pain tolerance by building up to their pain limit).

Perhaps, while a "fluffy sadist"... another term is "responsible sadist"... or is that an oxymoron. It leaves me feeling more Domly anyway ;o)

Being a little serious for a moment, and looking at masochists. Those who love the sensation of pain, I would happily be Dom to. Those who wish pain due to low self esteem, I wouldn't go near. Again, how do you tell, by spending alot of time talking before scening, and also keen observation.

Joe

(I do love nipple torture though)

*A collaring is not a ritual or an end, it is a long and intricate dance together, and nothing matters more than your own sense of balance and choice of partner *

(in reply to TxBadMan)

Profile

Post #: 43

RE: Tops Disease - 4/8/2006 9:25:03 PM

TemptingNviceSub

Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline

Would you consider your bottom paradise equalling to the short term of submissive frenzy?..and possibly tops disease as a sort of short term Dominant frenzy?...or would tops disease be just an inherent character flaw? and of course your bottoms paradise also defined within same character flaw?...tempting

(in reply to KnightofMists)

Profile

Post #: 44

RE: Tops Disease - 4/9/2006 5:42:27 PM

Sensualips

Posts: 1013
Joined: 10/8/2005
Status: offline

I think that in between the "soft sadist" and the "scary sadist" there is a "sucky sadist." That is what I would classify the dom I play with regularly, because I am always saying "auuugh, you suck!" He enjoys causing pain that the submissive obviously and immediately enjoys, but it becomes boring quickly. He absolutely DOES enjoy causing pain and is amused by suffering -- but not to the degree that he disregards all the signals that tell him the bottom is reaching her limit. He adjusts based on feedback, both the immediate in scene feedback that naturally occurs and formal discussions at a later time. He will and has intentionally caused REAL pain that I REALLY didn't like, sometimes for a specific reason and sometimes for fun. However, I have never felt like he has gone "too far" based on the guidelines within our relationship.

In eight months I have been nervous, anxious...but never REALLY scared of him for even a second. Just don't tell though.

(in reply to JoeT2000)

Profile

Post #: 45