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If a Daddy/Dom/Master can lie about something small... - 4/6/2006 5:42:36 AM

justmeagain69

Posts: 28
Joined: 2/16/2006
From: Upstate NY
Status: offline

Here is my query. If a Dom you meet for the first time says he will call you tomorrow, and then doesnt follow through on that - is that just a sign of things to come? How is a girl expected to trust when the simplest of things turn out to be lies?

Now before anyone begins to trash me for even thinking of letting something like this even give me pause I would ask you to understand this first... too many times I have trusted the wrong Dominants with my heart and with my mind. I am just now wondering if maybe this happens because I dont pay enough attention to little indicators like this.

*pondering*
Bex

< Message edited by justmeagain69 -- 4/6/2006 5:44:27 AM >

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RE: If a Daddy/Dom/Master can lie about something small... - 4/6/2006 5:48:04 AM

PhoenixLM

Posts: 79
Joined: 5/12/2005
From: Fort Wayne, Indiana
Status: offline

If it is something like a phone call one missed call is probably nothing to worry about, especially if they make contact with you in some other way to let you know why (whatever reason) The problem would be if it were habitual, then you are probably not a priority in that dominants life. If you can be happy in that position (some people thrive in this position) then no biggie but if you need to feel like you are a proiority then that most likley you would not be happy with a dom like that.

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House Ds Haven
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(in reply to justmeagain69)

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RE: If a Daddy/Dom/Master can lie about something small... - 4/6/2006 5:52:18 AM

treazure

Posts: 12
Joined: 4/5/2006
Status: offline

There may have been a reason that He could not call. Find that out first. But i am with you, if i am expected to do what i say, the Dom should be also.

We are all accountable for our own actions.

treazure

(in reply to justmeagain69)

Post #: 3

RE: If a Daddy/Dom/Master can lie about something small... - 4/6/2006 5:56:24 AM

Anachron

Posts: 7
Joined: 8/3/2005
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If someone states an intention to do something and then doesn't do it, I don't call that a lie. I just call it being flaky. Flakiness can be a problem too, but lying/dishonesty would be something more like saying I did (or didn't) do something in the past when it wasn't true. Of the two kinds of flaws, dishonesty seems significantly more serious to me.

Joel

(in reply to treazure)

Post #: 4

RE: If a Daddy/Dom/Master can lie about something small... - 4/6/2006 6:18:49 AM

windchymes

Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline

I think you answered your own question. You can't give your heart, soul, and trust until someone proves himself deserving of it.

I would give him the benefit of the doubt ONCE....but if he starts a pattern of it, then I agree that he is not worth your time.

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RE: If a Daddy/Dom/Master can lie about something small... - 4/6/2006 6:32:13 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Anachron

If someone states an intention to do something and then doesn't do it, I don't call that a lie. I just call it being flaky. Flakiness can be a problem too, but lying/dishonesty would be something more like saying I did (or didn't) do something in the past when it wasn't true. Of the two kinds of flaws, dishonesty seems significantly more serious to me.

Joel

Ditto. It would shove them way down on my priorities list, but I wouldn't necessarily call them a liar over it.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

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(in reply to Anachron)

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RE: If a Daddy/Dom/Master can lie about something small... - 4/6/2006 8:45:26 AM

BrianSenior

Posts: 88
Joined: 3/13/2006
Status: offline

See what happend that they didnt make or full fill the commiment. Things happen in real life, I as a Top keep in mind that life, happens. If it is a habbit, then in agreeance to the others, I wouldnt follow up any further. ~BK~

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 7

RE: If a Daddy/Dom/Master can lie about something small... - 4/6/2006 8:51:56 AM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

It depends. It was just one time? Maybe there was a valid reason. Is it all the time? Then he loses credibility with me. i agree with the others about flakiness. i couldn't submit to someone i couldn't count on.

(in reply to justmeagain69)

Post #: 8

RE: If a Daddy/Dom/Master can lie about something small... - 4/6/2006 9:37:11 AM

babyblues

Posts: 80
Joined: 8/10/2005
Status: offline

i wouldn't think the worst of him over one missed phone call....but i would talk with Him, politely and respectfully, and tell him my concerns....that i had been lied to in the past and that i need to feel i can depend on Him....men, even Dominants, sometimes forget the little things throughout the course of their busy days...i wouldn't condemn Him straight out because others have not treated you well...

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

Post #: 9

RE: If a Daddy/Dom/Master can lie about something small... - 4/6/2006 9:55:48 AM

Kinkypupper

Posts: 713
Joined: 9/26/2004
From: Portland oregon
Status: offline

Lieing and being forgetfull are two different things.
Do not jump and judge too harshly. It may not be a lie as such, It maybe that something else came up, or he lost your number or wrote the wrong one down, Or at this point he is not that interested in you.

_____________________________

Phil Moulton
A Sensual Touch
Locopony Racing
Portland Oregon

(in reply to justmeagain69)

Post #: 10

RE: If a Daddy/Dom/Master can lie about something small... - 4/6/2006 10:07:57 AM

Arpig

Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline

Hey!! Kinkypupper stole my idea! Give it back or I'm telling!!

I was going to say that maybe he is simply forgetful. I am very forgetful (due to a combination of too much living of the high life in my youth, and a couple of nasty blows to the head - took dive down the basement stairs and landed on my head, took a chunk out of the concrete floor too

). I have forgotten to eat at times, just can't remember if I did or not. I forget to call the doctor, my boss, my mother, just about anybody and everybody at one time or another. However, if he isn't this way in all aspects of his life, then he may just be lazy, or as was stated earlier, you may not be that high a priority in his life (sometimes that next beer simply MUST be quaffed you know

).
All-in-all i think you are overreacting.

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(in reply to Kinkypupper)

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RE: If a Daddy/Dom/Master can lie about something small... - 4/6/2006 10:31:37 AM

RavenMuse

Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline

I would advise not writing the guy off over one phonecall, however it does give cause to be wary and if it does turn out to be a pattern, he ain't the person you are likely to be looking for.

Personaly if I make a commitment then I will keep that commitment unless something unavoidable happens and then I will inform the person to whom the commitment was made at the earliest possible time. Simple good manners.

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to justmeagain69)

Post #: 12

RE: If a Daddy/Dom/Master can lie about something small... - 4/6/2006 11:41:56 AM

CanadianGuy

Posts: 219
Status: offline

One of the best ways to earn trust is to keep promises. He said he'd call the next day, and didn't. To me, you have little reason to start worrying that he is a liar (perhaps your past problems with being lied to has made you a bit oversensitive to it?) but he certainly missed a good chance to start building trust in your relationship. Hopefully he explains why he missed calling like he promised to (without being asked) and it sounds like a reasonable reason. Then, he can get more chances to build trust between you.

(in reply to RavenMuse)

Post #: 13

RE: If a Daddy/Dom/Master can lie about something small... - 4/6/2006 3:37:40 PM

justmeagain69

Posts: 28
Joined: 2/16/2006
From: Upstate NY
Status: offline

Thanks to all. I bit the bullet, pushed down the overthinking neurosis, (with great effort) and just called and asked him. It was a simple matter of hectic work and falling asleep on the couch.

Canadian: Right on. Just my thought process as well.

_____________________________

Got a kick for a dog begging for love? I gotta have my suffering so that I can have my cross - Tori Amos

(in reply to CanadianGuy)

Post #: 14

RE: If a Daddy/Dom/Master can lie about something small... - 4/6/2006 4:23:47 PM

amaidiamond

Posts: 1793
Joined: 2/6/2006
From: Watford / London
Status: offline

I would agree that it would be overtly harsh to have written him off for not calling once. The other day I was expected online but after two nights of insomnia I never made it, falling asleep fully dressed and on top of the bed, when I explained all was ok so am glad you found he had a valid explanation.

(in reply to justmeagain69)

Post #: 15

RE: If a Daddy/Dom/Master can lie about something small... - 4/6/2006 9:08:34 PM

TemptingNviceSub

Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline

There you go...its all about communication..glad it worked out..Tempting

(in reply to justmeagain69)

Post #: 16

RE: If a Daddy/Dom/Master can lie about something small... - 4/6/2006 9:15:54 PM

youQadesh

Posts: 84
Joined: 4/4/2006
Status: offline

Hey congrats!

edited because I wrote message before reading the last posts

< Message edited by youQadesh -- 4/6/2006 9:17:25 PM >

(in reply to justmeagain69)

Post #: 17

RE: If a Daddy/Dom/Master can lie about something small... - 4/7/2006 9:42:00 PM

Maam4slavegirl

Posts: 40
Joined: 3/16/2006
From: Iowa
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Anachron

If someone states an intention to do something and then doesn't do it, I don't call that a lie. I just call it being flaky. Flakiness can be a problem too, but lying/dishonesty would be something more like saying I did (or didn't) do something in the past when it wasn't true. Of the two kinds of flaws, dishonesty seems significantly more serious to me.

Joel

Lying is lying. Big or little, there is no difference.

_____________________________

You must be true to yourself before you can be true to anyone else. If you play games do not play them with other people's time. It is not fair to those truly seeking.

Mz Patti or Patti...depends on who's asking...

(in reply to Anachron)

Post #: 18

RE: If a Daddy/Dom/Master can lie about something small... - 4/7/2006 10:14:31 PM

TxBadMan

Posts: 198
Joined: 4/7/2006
From: Moody, Texas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Maam4slavegirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: Anachron

If someone states an intention to do something and then doesn't do it, I don't call that a lie. I just call it being flaky. Flakiness can be a problem too, but lying/dishonesty would be something more like saying I did (or didn't) do something in the past when it wasn't true. Of the two kinds of flaws, dishonesty seems significantly more serious to me.

Joel

Lying is lying. Big or little, there is no difference.

So you are saying that if you tell someone you will take out the garbage, do the dishes, or pick up something at the store for them, and then forget; that in fact you lied to them. Correct?

_____________________________

Chris

(in reply to Maam4slavegirl)

Post #: 19

RE: If a Daddy/Dom/Master can lie about something small... - 4/8/2006 3:31:29 AM

CERCKL

Posts: 1039
Joined: 3/4/2006
Status: offline

quote:

Thanks to all. I bit the bullet, pushed down the overthinking neurosis, (with great effort) and just called and asked him. It was a simple matter of hectic work and falling asleep on the couch.

Canadian: Right on. Just my thought process as well.

I agree that patterns are important to observe and that for a lot of Dom(mes) building trust with subs can be difficult; because it seems that submission, if it cannot find the right path finds abuse instead. Trust, consistency, et al is important, needed...still, I told my girl I would call her before I want to sleep; I had 6 hours sleep in three days, was watching CSI with the phone, less than five minutes to the end of the program and then I was going to call and...I woke up 3 minutes before my alarm should've gone off (it hadn't been set, since I hadn't been getting ready to go to sleep)...I did email her and tell her what happened...so, fecal matter does happen, just need to communicate when the monkey is throwing his poo at the fan...

C

edited because I am keyboard challenged...

< Message edited by CERCKL -- 4/8/2006 3:33:06 AM >

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