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RE: Really? Communal Confessions? - 5/1/2010 8:58:24 PM   
Musicmystery


Posts: 30259
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quote:


Don't get me wrong, I see lots of things here in the sub ranks I dislike a great deal. But to suggest that they drive the culture would be to abandon my own ability to influence it also.


We'll have to disagree on this one, then. An individual's ability isn't driven by the culture, unless one chooses to accept that.

In your case, you don't. Nor I. But that doesn't alter the prevailing culture. Nor does that make everyone in it the same.

(in reply to leadership527)
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RE: Really? Communal Confessions? - 5/1/2010 10:31:12 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Musicmystery


Clearly it's in the "Ask A Master" thread, and yes, "Hey guys" is colloquial, but the content of the post, speaking of punishing and micromanaging, is obviously addressed to owners.


As I'm sure has been addressed, the mods have made it clear that everyone can post everywhere. If you wanna complain, complain about the lack of men posting frequently. If you don't like that women are allowed to post in the "Master" section, switch sandboxes. It's not like you paid to be here and would be losing anything.

Now, should you choose to read it, the opinion of me and mine is that such postings are bringing others into a punishment, something we aren't particularly thrilled with. If he truly wished to punish me by making my infraction known, he'd command me to tell our friends. The people who know me in real life, not more or less strangers on a message board.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to Musicmystery)
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RE: Really? Communal Confessions? - 5/1/2010 10:39:15 PM   
Musicmystery


Posts: 30259
Joined: 3/14/2005
Status: offline 		There's no point in repeating the difference between an observation and a complaint again to those people who are going to see what they want to see. So enjoy.

I remain amazed that anyone would actually follow this practice. I have friends with slaves, and I just don't care about how or when they punish them. It strikes me as a curious practice.

Here's the part where you can confuse an observation with criticism if you like. Have fun!


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Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Really? Communal Confessions? - 5/2/2010 12:49:15 AM   
sunshinemiss


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Tim,
I'm not quite sure where the "fuck you" came from. I disagreed with something you said, and I said so. There was no rancor intended in it. (When there is, there's no doubt about it - there's a whole lot of swearing... and usually it's toward other women... the phrase "big girl panties" is usually involved. I rarely have that irritation response to folks on the M-side of things - gals and guys alike).

Also, you made an observation, and I had an understanding that was different from yours. I shared it.

Just trying to clear things up.
sunshine

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RE: Really? Communal Confessions? - 5/2/2010 2:56:17 AM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		Public punishment, humiliation or confessions will almost always find divisions with some agreeing and others disagreeing with such things. Debating as to the why's of the use of such appears to be nothing more that academic debates of such things with no practical purpose other than to air personal opinions. This said, I am amused when some good folk get their knickers in a twist when others disagree with then just as I do when some appear not to handle the use of colloquial terms and personalise them. Makes me think that some folk have way too much time on their hands and perhaps could do with a life and even hobbies with more positive outcomes. Still I am but one small grain of sand on the large CM beach, Still not being some omnipotent deity, My views, ideas or opinions will not change a thing nor make any difference to the fate of the world, which is after all probably just as well.  

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

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Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Really? Communal Confessions? - 5/2/2010 4:16:51 AM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline 		So there I was having a little epiphany today....

I was in a small checkout queue when ole mate two persons ahead of me was merrily yakking away on his phone like he's the omega man in an empty store. Getting all mellow in my old age, I sucked it up and tried to ignore.... And I was able to distract myself because this thread lit a light bulb.

This is exactly why I detest "doms" sending their subs to public boards to post as punishment. Everyone is entitled to their own space and, like ole mate on the phone, have the common decency (common?) and courtesy to keep your private shit the fuck out of everyone else's face - and ears...!

You utter dumb-fuck, L plated, training-wheel doms, you only have the right to punish *your* sub - NOT all of us, too!

Rant over. And I'm against getting all old and mellow, btw. And just old, too, but the alternative sux more...

Ok, now it's over....

Focus.

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RE: Really? Communal Confessions? - 5/2/2010 5:04:16 AM   
lally2


Posts: 2621
Joined: 4/16/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Musicmystery

Hey guys,

We see a regular thread genre in various forums along the lines of "I messed up and my Master told me to come here and post."

I doubt it--more likely the attention getting made up variety of thread. But seriously? Are there any of you who would "punish" a slave this way? And if so, why? Why?

Me? I don't have time to micromanage. Show a girl, yes. Explain, yes. Redirect, yes. But if it's a matter of punishing outright deliberate unacceptable behavior, whip the bitch and move on.






it does seem to me at times to be an excuse to either share their relationship, put meat on the bones of a fantasy relationship or for a D type to back himself up by saying 'go see what others have to say on this'.

whichever, it is invariably lame.

what urks me is that its always about punishment.

what baffles me is that people come on here saying theyve been together for 3 years or whatever and apparently have not moved on from the whole negative BS of punishment.

punishment for new comers seems to be the holy grail of all negotiations.  it seems to be the only way that they can relate to PE or each other.

so when yet another thread comes along about 'Master is going to punish me for......and im so scared/miserable.' i get an overwhelming desire to shout Bull Shit!!!

how many of us would come on here and write that.  truth is if i came on here and said 'Master is going to punish me for.....' youd all say, suck it up you stupid cow, you know the deal, stop bitching.  but anyway i wouldnt because it isnt something id publicly wish to announce.

i do think people get lonely, get frustrated, want to share some fantasy Master/relationship and the pattern is always punishment because they are still on first base with this and their fantasies of a masterful man caring enough about them to correct their bad behaviour and they know did.squt., about how Ds between two adults should go.  im not even sure if they want to know.  they just go round and round in their head with this fantasy of being overpowered and spanked till they cry and eventually the fantasy spills over and they spew it on here to make it a little bit more real for themselves.

its classic stuff of fantasy for a newbie.  gets boring and is somewhat transparent.

much worse than that is when you actually get two adults spirralling around the whole negative punishment game of her playing up for punishment and him doling it out. feeding the S&m in a game of stupid denial.  its all too 'Taken in Hand' for my taste.  On there they completely and vehemently deny that there is any pleasure in being spanked or spanking - so ok - why do it FFS - if neither of you are getting anything from it and its clearly not working anyway, dont pigging do it - find another way but dont for gods sake wrap it up as some big ordeal to a whole load of pervs who know otherwise.

its become a pet peeve of mine.  i think because in the end its either a manipulative lie to 'us' or its two adults lying to each other.

_____________________________

So all I have to do in order to serve him, is to work out exactly how improbable he is, feed that figure into the finite improbability generator, give him a fresh cup of really hot tea ... and turn him on!

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Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Really? Communal Confessions? - 5/3/2010 3:38:01 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Musicmystery

Here's the part where you can confuse an observation with criticism if you like. Have fun!




In that case...

Congratulations! Your keen insight allowed you to peer through the mists and gain the information that people post as the moderators allow!

Amazing, who would have ever thought that this would happen! Truly, it's astounding.



Seriously, it's the site rules that people can post anywhere. If you wanna comment on it, go for it but don't be surprised when people remind that there isn't a problem with it on this site. By the way, it's my observation that most people using the term "fuck you" aren't simply observing.

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 5/3/2010 3:39:56 PM >

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to Musicmystery)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Really? Communal Confessions? - 5/3/2010 5:25:34 PM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Musicmystery

Clearly it's in the "Ask A Master" thread, and yes, "Hey guys" is colloquial, but the content of the post, speaking of punishing and micromanaging, is obviously addressed to owners.



With over 10,000 posts under your antlers, I'd think you'd know that this site allows anyone to post anywhere and that's not changing any time soon.  Just an observation

Now, I tend to find those "confessional" posts silly, and I typically don't reply to them.  I always figure the owner wants to embarrass the sub/slave.  Whether or not it's effective in their dynamic is up to them.  How this turns into the sub running the show is beyond me, but then I don't think about it much.  A sub/slave will do what his/her owner allows.


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RE: Really? Communal Confessions? - 5/3/2010 5:27:53 PM   
dreamerdreaming


Posts: 2839
Status: offline 		I agree with lally's rant, and also what Focus said. All the drama and cluelessness is tiresome. There's nothing wrong with a punishment dynamic, if its done right. But when it is an endless, unproductive loop between people who are lacking in basic self-awareness and basic insight about their relationship, I call bullshit.

To those people I say: Whatever floats your boat is fine, but get over it, and get over yourself. Wake up and smell the coffee. Make your dynamic work for you, or leave it.

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RE: Really? Communal Confessions? - 5/3/2010 7:56:18 PM   
SailingBum


Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline 		ehhh I wanna know how it can be considered punishment?  Spoutin off to some faceless nameless who really could care less what you have to say.

BadOne


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RE: Really? Communal Confessions? - 5/4/2010 12:27:58 AM   
VaguelyCurious


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Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

By the way, it's my observation that most people using the term "fuck you" aren't simply observing.
Hey, hey, if you're going to have a go at him, have a go at him fairly-he didn't bring the the Big Eff Off until several posters criticised him for his original comment.

It's quite possible that he was making an observation and then got wound up when people took it in a way it was not intended.

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RE: Really? Communal Confessions? - 5/4/2010 9:50:50 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious


quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

By the way, it's my observation that most people using the term "fuck you" aren't simply observing.
Hey, hey, if you're going to have a go at him, have a go at him fairly-he didn't bring the the Big Eff Off until several posters criticised him for his original comment.

It's quite possible that he was making an observation and then got wound up when people took it in a way it was not intended.


Funny, I didn't think I was "having a go". I thought I was observing someone's behavior and commenting on it. Strange how things play out...

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to VaguelyCurious)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Really? Communal Confessions? - 5/4/2010 10:08:34 AM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub


Funny, I didn't think I was "having a go". I thought I was observing someone's behavior and commenting on it. Strange how things play out...


Really?

quote:

Congratulations! Your keen insight allowed you to peer through the mists and gain the information that people post as the moderators allow!

Amazing, who would have ever thought that this would happen! Truly, it's astounding.


Maybe I read your tone wrong, and maybe the phrase 'having a go' doesn't mean quite the same thing in American English as it does in English English (one of the perils of posting on this board, from my perspective), but that is what I would call having a go.

I'm saying this without any negative emotion on my part-that's just how the words read to me.

_____________________________

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Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Really? Communal Confessions? - 5/4/2010 10:52:39 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline 		I think you read the tone of my last post wrong. Continued sacarasm.

As for the phrase having a go... It's quite possibly a culture thing, I regard "having a go" as "You fucking idiot, how could you possibly not realize people post anywhere - your "observations" are just a BS way to complain about things not going your way and being done the way you think they should be in your little world".

Which I didn't say. What I said was pure scarasm. Yes, he observed that people post in exactly the manner in which we're allowed to. Truly amazing. 

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 5/4/2010 11:09:50 AM >

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to VaguelyCurious)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Really? Communal Confessions? - 5/4/2010 11:06:32 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Completely and entirely off subject:

VC, on your side of the pond, isn't 'having a go' at someone more along the lines of giving them a poke in fun?  I could be completely wrong on this and if I am, maybe you could enlighten Me a bit.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

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RE: Really? Communal Confessions? - 5/4/2010 11:19:21 AM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Completely and entirely off subject:

VC, on your side of the pond, isn't 'having a go' at someone more along the lines of giving them a poke in fun?  I could be completely wrong on this and if I am, maybe you could enlighten Me a bit.



That pretty well covers it here in Aussie. having a go stops just short of reaming a new arse-hole at the extreme end and on 'tother it is jokingly taking the Micky out of a mate.


_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

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Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Really? Communal Confessions? - 5/4/2010 11:19:21 AM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Completely and entirely off subject:

VC, on your side of the pond, isn't 'having a go' at someone more along the lines of giving them a poke in fun?  I could be completely wrong on this and if I am, maybe you could enlighten Me a bit.

It can be in fun, but you wouldn't necessarily assume that it was, if someone used the phrase-it describes giving someone a mild ticking off, rather than raising your voice.

_____________________________

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Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Really? Communal Confessions? - 5/4/2010 11:21:21 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Completely and entirely off subject:

VC, on your side of the pond, isn't 'having a go' at someone more along the lines of giving them a poke in fun?  I could be completely wrong on this and if I am, maybe you could enlighten Me a bit.



That pretty well covers it here in Aussie. having a go stops just short of reaming a new arse-hole at the extreme end and on 'tother it is jokingly taking the Micky out of a mate.



Micky out of a mate?

I feel like I need a translator.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to IronBear)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Really? Communal Confessions? - 5/4/2010 11:31:09 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Thank you.  I'm always interested in the cultural differences.  It let's Me learn a bit.

Still completely off-topic, IB, it's very good to see you posting more again.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 60
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