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RE: Really? Communal Confessions? - 5/7/2010 10:12:14 AM   
Musicmystery


Posts: 30259
Joined: 3/14/2005
Status: offline 		I mistakenly assumed people would have been able to sort that out from context.

I see now that's an ability I shouldn't assume here.

FYI, in many circles, the feminists among them would be indignant at the notion of using "guys" to include women.



< Message edited by Musicmystery -- 5/7/2010 10:13:15 AM >

(in reply to Aylee)
Profile   Post #: 81
RE: Really? Communal Confessions? - 5/7/2010 11:34:09 AM   
Aylee


Posts: 24103
Joined: 10/14/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Musicmystery

I mistakenly assumed people would have been able to sort that out from context.

I see now that's an ability I shouldn't assume here.

FYI, in many circles, the feminists among them would be indignant at the notion of using "guys" to include women.


Yes, yes, there are feminists that would love to do all sorts of strange things to language.  "Herstory" instead of history, "ovinar" instead of seminar and so forth. 

And I did realize on my way back from lunch that I typed "Guy Faulkner" instead of "Guy Fawks." 

But to answer your original post, and no I have not had a chance to read the rest of the thread:

I think that it may have something to do with all of the public mea culpas that have become so popular in the last 15 years or so.  It seems that whenever a public type person commits an error, they are expected to hold a press conference and state their wrongs and tell everyone how sorry they are.  Think former President Bill Clinton and recently Tiger Woods. 

These threads could be an attempt at imitating what they see in the news and on television. 

Now, is this an effective action?  I really do not think so.  There has got to be a reason that the Roman Catholic Church uses private confession and private penance.  If doing such things publicly worked better, they would have implemented such a system hundreds of years ago. Although I will grant that some of their penances were quite public. 


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RE: Really? Communal Confessions? - 5/7/2010 11:44:35 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Musicmystery
Without perpetuating the side chat, the reason wasn't genitalia, but rather it's female subs that seem to be the "punished" in the matter I was questioning, and it was female subs who jumped in to answer a question directed at whether their men actually punished people this way. I doubted it, so asked. Your response was fine, along the same lines as the spirit of the OP.

From there it was people overreacting to a simple observation. That noted, though, I wouldn't have answered a similar question in the Ask A Mistress section. Perhaps I'm a minority in that respect.

No worries.

As I've continued thinking about this thread, more and more I've realized that I see threads about punishment falling into certain categories.  The concept of starting a thread as the punishment (or part of it) may actually come more often from female submissives.  Now, unless you happen to be dealing with a submissive who feels themselves overly important in the grand scheme of things or one who feels that complete strangers knowing of her misdeeds has that great of an impact, I don't see the method being very effective.

The issue with the category of the starting of a thread as the punishment is that it runs very closely with two other types of categories.  One of those being people involved in power dynamics who have no better idea of how to relate to each other, so punishment is their go-to mechanism.  The slightest little issue comes up in the dynamic, and punishment is the answer.

The other would be those threads started by folks who are driven by their fantasy of punishment.  More an expression of their unrealized desires to be controlled or participate in some way in S/m.  Rarely, if ever, is there really another person involved.  It happens so often that I almost cringe when I read the words, "Master/Mistress sent me here......".

Now, what interests Me more is why folks fall into these groups.  What are the barriers?  Why are people not realizing their potential?  What's missing?

That, to Me, is far better topic than most of the fiction that gets written around here.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Musicmystery)
Profile   Post #: 83
RE: Really? Communal Confessions? - 5/7/2010 2:52:57 PM   
elleX


Posts: 161
Joined: 10/24/2009
Status: offline 		to me it is a fake ,,  purely and simply

(in reply to UniqueRaven)
Profile   Post #: 84
RE: Really? Communal Confessions? - 5/7/2010 6:00:55 PM   
Phoenix73Sir


Posts: 139
Joined: 4/2/2010
From: Northants, UK
Status: offline 		It is in a way similar to a profile I stumbled across recently.  Basicly it appears to be an old profile of a slave who found her master, was collared and the profile still remained on CM.  As the profile stands now it is a journal where the master will get the slave to write her transgressions and then invites other CM members to submit an appropriate punishment for said transgression. one of which is then chosen and the lucky submitter I assume gets photographs of their punishment being caried out.

Weather this is a genuine poster or someone simply after wanking material I don't know


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RE: Really? Communal Confessions? - 5/7/2010 7:32:06 PM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Musicmystery

(To Lady Pact) Your response was fine, along the same lines as the spirit of the OP.

From there it was people overreacting to a simple observation. That noted, though, I wouldn't have answered a similar question in the Ask A Mistress section. Perhaps I'm a minority in that respect.



Tim,
I don't understand your viewpoint. So, LP wrote in the spirit of your OP, but the rest of us didn't? It's ok for her but not other women? I addressed the point you wrote about, and other folks did as well. You are changing your tune here. Certainly that happens in life - things come up we hadn't thought of, examples are given that make us pause.

Anyway, here is my response to your OP as a reference. I think it is in the spirit of what you've asked:

quote:




Anyway, confession is good for the soul. Sometimes it is a very powerful tool to get to the deeper truth. I agree that often they are attention seeking, but so what? Sometimes attention is a good thing. We bear witness to something that can be moving and powerful. Where else are they going to do that?

Used on an occasional basis, it can work amazingly well. That's one of the reasons why AA, religion, and psychotherapy work.

sunshine


best,
sunshine

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RE: Really? Communal Confessions? - 5/8/2010 8:02:44 AM   
Musicmystery


Posts: 30259
Joined: 3/14/2005
Status: offline 		If ever anyone asks for a demonstration of the oft repeated male claim that women can unnecessarily complicate even the simplest issues, I'll direct that person to this thread. The OP was a very simple concept clearly asking the guys if anyone for real actually did this. And when all but the guys chimed in, I noted that, calmly, and then the circus came to town. These nic pickers also ignored the places I noted it wasn't a big deal. But oh no! It damn well was going to be! Whatever.

LP, at least, answered from the perspective of an owner. It did actually strike me as a very female thing to do, i.e., I doubt men would punish their girls that way, but fair enough, it's generally on the point.

The Section Guidelines for this board are as follows, in their entirety:
quote:

This section is open to those wishing to ask questions of a Master, in the hope of receiving answers from that particular perspective.

Experienced Masters are also encouraged to share their advice and knowledge regardless of if a question has been asked to prompt response. If you know the topic to be something that is often on the minds of newer people, or a subject you have found in your experience to be beneficial to address, feel free to take the initiative and open the discussion yourself.

Sure, anyone can post wherever they happen to feel like doing so. And clearly do. But beyond those self-righteous indignant displays, "I can post where I want, you're not the Mod of me," one wonders why. I almost never post in the Ask a Mistress section or the Ask a Sub/Slave section--because I'm assuming people want answers from Mistresses or Subs/Slaves. As I said earlier, apparently I'm in the minority. I'll stick with the practice, however.

Your response discusses the wonders of confession. Fine. Not at all what I was asking, which was questioning the integrity of the confessors' premise, that "Master sent me here to confess." As the men who answered attested, not likely, and why would the rest of us care about what someone else's sub/slave did anyway? The girls chiming in at first were on point, but not helpful since the question was to the men regarding would this cross their minds as a possibility. As expected, it wouldn't.

So I got my answer, and some girls got their circus. I'm moving on to other things--this is firmly in the "not important" pile, at least for me. Stay if you wish for the next act, though, sure to follow soon.



< Message edited by Musicmystery -- 5/8/2010 8:08:16 AM >

(in reply to sunshinemiss)
Profile   Post #: 87
RE: Really? Communal Confessions? - 5/8/2010 8:42:45 AM   
Toppingfrmbottom


Posts: 6528
Joined: 6/7/2009
Status: offline 		Well, I think my reply was kind of helpful, because yes, my last Dom would of done just what you asked, and sent me out " in public" so to speak to display my punishment. However, since he's not my dom any more, and not here to speak for myself, I answered your question.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Musicmystery

The girls chiming in at first were on point, but not helpful since the question was to the men regarding would this cross their minds as a possibility. As expected, it wouldn't.




(in reply to Musicmystery)
Profile   Post #: 88
RE: Really? Communal Confessions? - 5/8/2010 8:58:46 AM   
Musicmystery


Posts: 30259
Joined: 3/14/2005
Status: offline 		Thank you.

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Profile   Post #: 89
RE: Really? Communal Confessions? - 5/8/2010 7:02:14 PM   
DMFParadox


Posts: 1405
Joined: 9/11/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
In all seriousness, I would say that most (perhaps 90%) of issues that spring up within power dynamics overlap in regard to gender.  A subject such as punishment, doesn't really hit that inner circle of the bulls eye. 


Nope. There are other factors involved. Male dom perspective is different from female dom perspective, very.

A woman is not just a man with tits. A female dominant is not just a male dominant with tits. There are real differences in their situations.

And the other side of it - a male dominant is not just a domme with a cock. We have different problems, different perspectives.

One easy difference to point out - exactly how much email does a woman, any woman, get in comparison to a man? Right. You think that's just an isolated behavior? There are deeper currents running here, and assuming that doms are doms regardless of sex is blinding yourself.


_____________________________

bloody hell, get me some aspirin and a whiskey straight

"The role of gender in society is the most complicated thing I’ve ever spent a lot of time learning about, and I’ve spent a lot of time learning about quantum mechanics." - Randall Munroe

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 90
RE: Really? Communal Confessions? - 5/8/2010 8:17:24 PM   
WyldHrt


Posts: 6412
Joined: 6/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

The Section Guidelines for this board are as follows, in their entirety:
quote:

This section is open to those wishing to ask questions of a Master, in the hope of receiving answers from that particular perspective.

Experienced Masters are also encouraged to share their advice and knowledge regardless of if a question has been asked to prompt response. If you know the topic to be something that is often on the minds of newer people, or a subject you have found in your experience to be beneficial to address, feel free to take the initiative and open the discussion yourself.

At the risk of being called 'nit picky'- according to the above, most of the male dominants on CM shouldn't answer questions in this section either.
*shrug* Just saying.


_____________________________

"MotherFUCKER!" is NOT a safeword!!"- Steel
"We've had complaints about 'orgy noises'. This is not the neighborhood for that kind of thing"- PVE Cop

Resident "Hypnotic Eyes", "Cleavage" and "Toy Whore"
Subby Mafia, VAA Posse & Team Troll!

(in reply to Musicmystery)
Profile   Post #: 91
RE: Really? Communal Confessions? - 5/8/2010 8:41:14 PM   
Musicmystery


Posts: 30259
Joined: 3/14/2005
Status: offline 		That wasn't nic picking. It was just you being an asshole.

Take it up with collarme.

(in reply to WyldHrt)
Profile   Post #: 92
RE: Really? Communal Confessions? - 5/8/2010 9:11:13 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DMFParadox
Nope. There are other factors involved. Male dom perspective is different from female dom perspective, very.

Explain why.

quote:

A woman is not just a man with tits. A female dominant is not just a male dominant with tits. There are real differences in their situations.

Except for health issues related to the different genders, please give some examples.

quote:

And the other side of it - a male dominant is not just a domme with a cock. We have different problems, different perspectives.

There are some differences, such as male led relationships being more easily accepted by society than female led ones.  I am not saying the two are exactly the same.  A situation where a punishment is warranted isn't in the same category.

quote:

One easy difference to point out - exactly how much email does a woman, any woman, get in comparison to a man? Right. You think that's just an isolated behavior? There are deeper currents running here, and assuming that doms are doms regardless of sex is blinding yourself.

The amount of email I get has squat to do with the way I run this dynamic.  While a Domme may have more opportunities available to her due to the imbalance of the number of male subs in comparison, there also has to be something said of the quality of that Dominant to make an established dynamic work.  Again, as I see punishment as something that is happening within an established dynamic, rather than just a play session (which I'll readily admit that I have more opportunities due to gender) I believe the Dominant's personality has more to do with it than whether that person is male or female.



_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to DMFParadox)
Profile   Post #: 93
RE: Really? Communal Confessions? - 5/8/2010 9:36:49 PM   
wandersalone


Posts: 4666
Joined: 11/21/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DMFParadox

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
In all seriousness, I would say that most (perhaps 90%) of issues that spring up within power dynamics overlap in regard to gender.  A subject such as punishment, doesn't really hit that inner circle of the bulls eye. 


Nope. There are other factors involved. Male dom perspective is different from female dom perspective, very.

A woman is not just a man with tits. A female dominant is not just a male dominant with tits. There are real differences in their situations.

And the other side of it - a male dominant is not just a domme with a cock. We have different problems, different perspectives.

One easy difference to point out - exactly how much email does a woman, any woman, get in comparison to a man? Right. You think that's just an isolated behavior? There are deeper currents running here, and assuming that doms are doms regardless of sex is blinding yourself.



But aren't the underlying issues common to both male and female led dynamics?

Obedience - he or she won't do as I say, she/he expects me to micromanage them and I don't want to
trust - I think he or she is playing around, she/he is jealous for no reason, she/he lied
communication - she/he never listens to what I say
                         - she/he has changed and I don't know why
                         - she/he is grumpy all of the time

I am just trying to think of a few of the common threads I see on the Master and Mistress forums but you get the drift.  The specifics of course will differ but the main problems I think in general will be similar.

Talking about the amount of email a female gets is irrelevant I feel.  How does that change the way a dominant acts in their relationship?


< Message edited by wandersalone -- 5/8/2010 9:37:48 PM >

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RE: Really? Communal Confessions? - 5/8/2010 9:43:54 PM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline 		The point you over inflated fools seem to be missing is any thread is not just about the paticular poster, it's for everyone's insight and discussion. It is an interesting question, I'm fairly certain there is no one answer and rational thought won't bring us one as I'm fairly certain the people that do these things on a public forum aren't all that rational. However, I for one and I know MANY here would agree with this, would rather hear the opinion on the matter from someone like LadyPact, who in my years on this forum have found to be level-headed, intelligent and insightful and open to considering every else's opinion regardless of role and gender than hearing that from someone else merely because they happen to posess a cock.


(edited for spelling)

< Message edited by laurell3 -- 5/8/2010 9:47:26 PM >

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

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Profile   Post #: 95
RE: Really? Communal Confessions? - 5/9/2010 12:31:24 AM   
WyldHrt


Posts: 6412
Joined: 6/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

That wasn't nic picking. It was just you being an asshole.

LOL. You were the one who posted the guidelines for this forum 'in their entirety' to support your position, Tim.
I merely commented on the apparent disconnect between your perception of said guidelines and the actual words.
quote:

Take it up with collarme.

No need. Most of us have long since moved on.


_____________________________

"MotherFUCKER!" is NOT a safeword!!"- Steel
"We've had complaints about 'orgy noises'. This is not the neighborhood for that kind of thing"- PVE Cop

Resident "Hypnotic Eyes", "Cleavage" and "Toy Whore"
Subby Mafia, VAA Posse & Team Troll!

(in reply to Musicmystery)
Profile   Post #: 96
RE: Really? Communal Confessions? - 5/9/2010 1:29:52 AM   
HardFist


Posts: 3
Joined: 3/28/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

I presume it's because she finds public confession to be embarrassing. Or if he's a forum reader then he may be hoping for sadism by committee if she gets a good raking over. If she dislikes it, then it's punishment. No?


I doubt anyone of us would 'punish' her this way. Making public what is meant for private? not a chance.

I find that a more probable cause is she looking to be sentimentaly supported by other subs, who might have the same problem, caused by their own cruel and sadistic and insensitive masters and throu this to overcome it
If she is not into bragging about her 'misfrtune'.

Fellow Pervertes, a woman's soul is an abyss! :)



(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 97
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