RE: Am i doing this all WRONG??

RE: Am i doing this all WRONG?? (Full Version)

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sweetnessforsir -> RE: Am i doing this all WRONG?? (4/6/2006 8:27:51 PM)
if He does not responsibility for my safety, then i am. and in those cases, complete submission is not an option. that is not what i would seek if i were seeking. s. "training for a new age convent"

PrinceSitri -> RE: Am i doing this all WRONG?? (4/6/2006 8:28:20 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MyCaptainsPet Yes, they have the control, but don't they also have an obligation to keep their property/sub/slave etc safe from harm? Don't their decisions have to take into account their sub's mental and physical well being as well as emotional state? One certainly hopes so.

KnightofMists -> RE: Am i doing this all WRONG?? (4/6/2006 8:57:30 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MyCaptainsPet i'm pretty sure this has been covered already, but i have no clue how to search for a topic like this.... Anyways... i just read a post on another thread, about how a sub/slave must remember that the D/M is in control... Yes, they have the control, but don't they also have an obligation to keep their property/sub/slave etc safe from harm? Don't their decisions have to take into account their sub's mental and physical well being as well as emotional state? Do i have this wrong?? Simple question for you...... You ask permission from your Master/Dominant to go shopping. To which he gives his permission. SO, You are downtown doing some shopping. You walk to a intersection and wait for the signal lights to change so you can walk across the street to the other side. They change before starting to walk across you out of habit look both ways and around to ensure cars are stopped and then begin to walk across. It is then that a car comes speeding down the road unknownst to you and hits you and badly injurys you. So bad that you can no longer walk and spend months recovering physically. So... Did he fail in his obligation to protect you from Harm? After all it was his decision that allowed you to go shopping, which in turn caused you to be harmed. I think the answer is fairly obvious. Fact is... I believe the only obligation that a I may have towards my property in this regard is to do the best I can to assess the risks of any of myr decisions to protect my property from harm. But, unforseen circustances are going to happen. Other peoples actions for example... or a Toy that breaks without any visiable indication on inspection that it is weak or about to break. Some things just can not be forseen. We just try to do the best we can. However, I would add that I personally feel obligated not to take action or make decisions that would knowningly cause harm upon my property. I feel that this would be an acceptable expecatation of any submissive/slave could have of me. I also fail to understand how such an expectation would be rejected by any other Dominant or Masters. Some further thoughs... What is Harm? I think it is important you understand what this means to you. I would also suggest that you are able to express it in a effective manner to your Dominant/Master. Harm and Hurt are two very different terms to me. Harm implies damaging permanantly and lessening the value of ones property or damage in such a manner that would cause the relationship to be ended. Hurt on the other hand is a natural consequence that will occur in any relationship. Mistakes will occur.. hurt feelings or even a hurt body part caused by a bad hit in play etc. Hurt is a natural expectation of occurance... but it should be an infrequent occurance. The question for you, what would frequency is acceptable? Remember sometimes Dominants will make decisions that will cause emotional hurts from time to time and knowingly do so. For myself, this is not an easy decision. But, it will be a neccessary decision because sooner or later in life conflicts of priorities will occur and somebody will end up with the shorter end of the stick. I also attempt to decisision that will allow me to satisfy all my priorities... but sometimes choices are limited and sometimes my decisions have put me in that situation in the first place. My advice... Don't expect Prefection.

slavejali -> RE: Am i doing this all WRONG?? (4/6/2006 9:04:13 PM)
There are all kinds of Owners in the world. People own, pets, cars, houses, tables, chairs, stocks and bonds. Lots of property held by owners get mistreated or misused through lack of care or the ability to look after the item properly. There are other types of owners who value what they own and care and make sure they have the ability to look after it. Lucky we aren't a chair or a pussy cat, we get to choose our owners.[:)]

MyCaptainsPet -> RE: Am i doing this all WRONG?? (4/6/2006 9:25:33 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KnightofMists However, I would add that I personally feel obligated not to take action or make decisions that would knowningly cause harm upon my property. I feel that this would be an acceptable expecatation of any submissive/slave could have of me. I also fail to understand how such an expectation would be rejected by any other Dominant or Masters. KOM.... thank you.. this is EXACTLY what i was thinking and trying to get at!!!

KnightofMists -> RE: Am i doing this all WRONG?? (4/6/2006 9:32:20 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MyCaptainsPet quote: ORIGINAL: KnightofMists However, I would add that I personally feel obligated not to take action or make decisions that would knowningly cause harm upon my property. I feel that this would be an acceptable expecatation of any submissive/slave could have of me. I also fail to understand how such an expectation would be rejected by any other Dominant or Masters. KOM.... thank you.. this is EXACTLY what i was thinking and trying to get at!!! Your Welcome... but, I would strongly suggest.. Understanding what "KNOWNINGLY will cause HARM" and understanding what is "HARM" is not as simple as one would wish it to be.

Lashra -> RE: Am i doing this all WRONG?? (4/6/2006 10:23:19 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: truesub4u I guess this is where I draw the line in any type of relationship. I am going to make sure i'm safe from physical and or mental harm. I refuse to put that trust in another.... this is where I decide what is best for me. I know others will not agree with this. But then hell, I don't agree with others on surrendering that much control. Because no one can seriously know enough to know if something will mentally fuck someone up. I'm responsible for my physical and mental well being... and no one else is. Very well said a person has to look out for themselves or they are setting themselves up to be hurt/used in some way. Most Dom's are NOT psychologists/phyiscians they have no way of knowing if something is going to adversely effect you unless they try it and see. Then its the see part you gotta worry about. I realise alot of experimentation goes on in these relationships and that can be good, but no sub/slave should give a Dom total absolute control. You have to use your own common sense and instincts. If it feels wrong then say so and if the Dom bulks, they don't have your best interests in mind, they have THEIR interests in mind. Just my two cents. ~Lashra

acctonthelook -> RE: Am i doing this all WRONG?? (4/7/2006 5:05:47 AM)
quote: original: Jasmyn a dom does have an obligation to take into account their sub's mental, physical, and emotional state In searching for the right Dom for me, I can say that what Jasmyn says is right for me. I want a Dom/Sub, not slave or masochistic D/s. I know that I could never handle being with a Dom who did not respect my limits, safeword, or my mental health as well as physical health. I want a D/s relationship where communication is important to both parties. Yes the Dom, will have the final say but is he willing to hear my thoughts too? Some are and some aren't. I'm still looking...[:D]

MyCaptainsPet -> RE: Am i doing this all WRONG?? (4/7/2006 7:58:22 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KnightofMists quote: ORIGINAL: MyCaptainsPet quote: ORIGINAL: KnightofMists However, I would add that I personally feel obligated not to take action or make decisions that would knowningly cause harm upon my property. I feel that this would be an acceptable expecatation of any submissive/slave could have of me. I also fail to understand how such an expectation would be rejected by any other Dominant or Masters. KOM.... thank you.. this is EXACTLY what i was thinking and trying to get at!!! Your Welcome... but, I would strongly suggest.. Understanding what "KNOWNINGLY will cause HARM" and understanding what is "HARM" is not as simple as one would wish it to be. As you stated in the first post to me, allowing me to go shopping and i get hit by a car is not knowingly causing harm. Letting me have a snack and me choking and dying on it is not knowingly causing harm. Having me cook a special meal and i cut a finger off doing it is not knowingly causing harm.. Or, in my failure to communicate with you properly, something you do or say hurts me is not knowingly causing harm. But, knowing i have a severe issue that i need to discuss before we attempt something and totally ignoring my pleas to communicate about it IS knowingly causing harm. Knowing i've just had surgery and must stay in bed per dr's orders but you insist i go out to a club or such is knowingly causing harm. Leading me to believe thru your words/actions/deeds/agreements etc that we are exclusive and then going and playing on the sly IS knowingly causing harm. Knowingly causing harm, to me, is being conscious of the consiquences and outcome before an action takes place. Edited to add... NO, my Captain does NONE of these.. Hence, HE has my total trust, faith, and i honor him. i also DO know he is human, and $hit can happen.. But, in His actions after if he does what he can to help US work thru what ever has happened... that's ALL i need.

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