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Hello out there. Is it okay if i share my thoughts with you? I lost my lover, my best friend and it


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Hello out there. Is it okay if i share my thoughts with... - 5/4/2010 4:55:50 AM   
Mylady1201


Posts: 3
Joined: 5/3/2010
Status: offline 		Hello out there. Is it okay if i share my thoughts with you?

I lost my lover, my best friend and it was my fault. In the past 3 weeks Ive done nothing but reflective thinking, talking to other subs that ive known from another life when i lived in the midwest. Trying to find out where i went wrong.

With the internet and all that is has to offer I thought what the hell maybe just maybe ill give it a try. I do not know if this is the place that i need to be, but. I am placing this profile on every site there is out there and believe me when i say there are plenty. Not knowing if he is into this anymore, we havent practiced this life style together for a couple of years. I will not look for him. Its not my place too.

When i load the page to entire the site. It does pulls up profiles from all over VA. So if you come across mine stating "i was viewing you" Please understand Im here to sit and stay silent not to participate with anyone, Only 1 caught my eyes once open a time.

It was an epiphany going off in my head with my counselor. I totally screwed up. I lost my master, my best friend, my lover, my mentor, my dominant Man. Due to my pride and my not remembering my place in this world, in his world. I was to be , his Princess, his Sunshine. his wife, his personal pet. His biggest supporter of ALL of his endevors,

I recently not realizing it without his permission, became dom female in his world, Which is not what he wanted or required from me. He is his own boss. He needs to be able to come and go and express his needs without judgement, without shame, without lables, without accusations. Be able to show who he is on a private stand point without worrying of any backlash personally or professionally. Be able to come home after a bike ride and know that I will be there for him regardless of where he was or what he was doing.

if you do not recognize my eyes, then i request that you respect my Dom's collar and move on. Some place wedding bands on their left finger to show who owns them. I now wear his ring on a chain; he gave me around my neck to show who i still want to own me.

If Im allowed; I will do whatever that is allowed of me to do, To be honored back into his world, his trust, his heart.

I only show my eyes out of respect for HIS privacy as to who i am.

I placed Newport News due to the fact when we resided there we were happy. We purchased a home in an another area of Va.

But for the last 6 months my Dom has been sad.. partly due to me and my insecurities AND all the wrong things that a sub can do to sabotage her marriage. As well as his own inner demons he has said to me. :(

This profile is also being placed on the other 3 top sites

mydungeonplace.com
bondage.com

The 3rd site will not post on here. Not sure as to why. Its starts with an F and ends with life.

either under this name or papassunshine



Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Hello out there. Is it okay if i share my thoughts ... - 5/4/2010 4:57:49 AM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		There are journal options on CM. Just saying

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to Mylady1201)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Hello out there. Is it okay if i share my thoughts ... - 5/4/2010 5:02:39 AM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline 		It takes two to make a relationship, and two to break it. I know you do not see this right now and are blaming yourself exclusively, and that puts you in a painfully blind place.

Best of luck to you both.


_____________________________

PICKED UPON
TECHNO-DOLT
MEMBER OF THE SUBBIE MAFIA
GRACEFULLY CHALLENGED :::::splat:::::
BOOT WHORE
VAA/S FAN

GIVES GOOD HEART (Lushy)

CREATOR OF MAYHEM (practice)


(in reply to Mylady1201)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Hello out there. Is it okay if i share my thoughts ... - 5/4/2010 5:54:38 AM   
choccywoc


Posts: 1919
Joined: 9/7/2009
Status: offline 		Welcome, did'nt read it all, i'm sure some will.

(in reply to Mylady1201)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Hello out there. Is it okay if i share my thoughts ... - 5/4/2010 6:31:50 AM   
January


Posts: 891
Joined: 4/17/2004
Status: offline 		Hi,

Welcome to collarme.

When I read the first line of your post, I thought your Master had died--and you had killed him.

If I am getting the rest of your post straight, you are spending a lot of time reflecting, talking to counselors, talking to sub girlfriends, posting to a bunch of strangers about a breakup with your husband?

Talk to him. Without drama. Without pitiful self-flagellation. Don't invent BDSM reasons for the breakup unless that's what it really is.

January

_____________________________

[link: http://www.bookstrand.com/miss-you-sir] Miss You, Sir by January Rowe is available from Siren now! It's my latest smokin' hot bdsm romance.[/link]




(in reply to Mylady1201)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Hello out there. Is it okay if i share my thoughts ... - 5/4/2010 6:53:10 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		January - per her journal, she evidently accused him of infidelity without anything backing it up, and he moved out. Inappropriate of her to say the least and a massive overreaction on his part if that was the sole issue.  I'm betting it wasn't.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to January)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Hello out there. Is it okay if i share my thoughts ... - 5/4/2010 7:28:20 AM   
blueeyedbbwsub


Posts: 435
Joined: 12/9/2009
Status: offline 		What I get out of this after reading the OP's profile is brain mud. You say that you want doms to pass you by or words to that effect, yet your own profile says you're looking for Dominant men. As for the collar you still wear, it's been 3 years since you've seen him and you don't even know if he's still active. Contradictory my dear Watson.

_____________________________

fuzzballed goondorker

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Hello out there. Is it okay if i share my thoughts ... - 5/4/2010 8:04:27 AM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline 		Why would you place that here let alone somewhere else? It borders on unreadable. He did the right thing in getting rid of you.

_____________________________



(in reply to blueeyedbbwsub)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Hello out there. Is it okay if i share my thoughts ... - 5/4/2010 8:41:11 AM   
January


Posts: 891
Joined: 4/17/2004
Status: offline 		Holy Smokes, I'm confused!

The OP has a journal, too? And a profile looking for dominants? <---plural? Is the Master the ex-husband?

Was this was a last-ditch effort to get her man (Man?) back? Because she doesn't know his name? No sense googling him if she can resort to bewildering narratives and pictures of her eyes?

I get the feeling she won't be back.

_____________________________

[link: http://www.bookstrand.com/miss-you-sir] Miss You, Sir by January Rowe is available from Siren now! It's my latest smokin' hot bdsm romance.[/link]




(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Hello out there. Is it okay if i share my thoughts ... - 5/4/2010 8:47:56 AM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline 		I think those eyes belong to a young James Spader.

_____________________________



(in reply to January)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Hello out there. Is it okay if i share my thoughts ... - 5/4/2010 3:41:51 PM   
Mylady1201


Posts: 3
Joined: 5/3/2010
Status: offline 		Its been 3 WEEKS!

(in reply to blueeyedbbwsub)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Hello out there. Is it okay if i share my thoughts ... - 5/4/2010 3:46:35 PM   
Mylady1201


Posts: 3
Joined: 5/3/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: January

Hi,

Welcome to collarme.

When I read the first line of your post, I thought your Master had died--and you had killed him.

If I am getting the rest of your post straight, you are spending a lot of time reflecting, talking to counselors, talking to sub girlfriends, posting to a bunch of strangers about a breakup with your husband?

Talk to him. Without drama. Without pitiful self-flagellation. Don't invent BDSM reasons for the breakup unless that's what it really is.

January


Thank you for the help. Its been 3 weeks. As for knowing his online name I dont know if he is here or not. I dont know if he has a membership via these sites, Im taking a stab at it.


(in reply to January)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Hello out there. Is it okay if i share my thoughts ... - 5/4/2010 4:04:33 PM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		I suppose we all have our ways of mourning the loss of a relationship. But really, do you have to dump on the rest of us here?

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to Mylady1201)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Hello out there. Is it okay if i share my thoughts ... - 5/4/2010 4:18:04 PM   
January


Posts: 891
Joined: 4/17/2004
Status: offline 		Hi Mylady,

I'm still really confused. Three weeks ago your Master left you? Do you have a husband, too? How long were you involved with the person you are trying to reconnect with? Will your post be recognizable to him? Or is your post just a vent? (Does he have enough information about you that he'll know who you are--other than the eyes?)

Thanks,

January

_____________________________

[link: http://www.bookstrand.com/miss-you-sir] Miss You, Sir by January Rowe is available from Siren now! It's my latest smokin' hot bdsm romance.[/link]




(in reply to Mylady1201)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Hello out there. Is it okay if i share my thoughts ... - 5/4/2010 7:49:02 PM   
Subversed


Posts: 52
Joined: 8/17/2008
Status: offline 		some act wholly on their own due to their incapabilities and drive a wedge between their supposed lover because they are afraid and have failed to communicate this causing their lover to-
a. get fucking tired of their bullshit and see them less, or
b. sense disinterest and try to remedy the situation.

i've only been cheated on once, and rather than feel hurt- i was insulted. i knew the person she cheated on me with, and he was borderline retarded (and younger).

i ended up dumping her about 1.5 hours before she was taken to jail for probation violations.

i will never date white trash again

quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

It takes two to make a relationship, and two to break it. I know you do not see this right now and are blaming yourself exclusively, and that puts you in a painfully blind place.

Best of luck to you both.


(in reply to sirsholly)
Profile   Post #: 15
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