Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: Need help w/ putting small penis in chastity


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> RE: Need help w/ putting small penis in chastity Page: <<   < prev  1 [2] 3   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: Need help w/ putting small penis in chastity - 5/4/2010 3:59:00 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: thishereboi

I never said it was wrong. I just don't understand the mindset of a sub who has to be "kept" from his dick. When my Mistress said "don't touch", I didn't touch. Now if she wanted to put a device on me, that's fine. It was her pussy. Her decision. But she wouldn't have done it because she was worried that I wouldn't listen. She knew I would. She would have done it because she thought it was hot or she might do it just to annoy me.




No wonder we understand each other!

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to thishereboi)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Need help w/ putting small penis in chastity - 5/4/2010 4:07:47 PM   
MistressOfGa


Posts: 2929
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus


quote:

ORIGINAL: thishereboi

I never said it was wrong. I just don't understand the mindset of a sub who has to be "kept" from his dick. When my Mistress said "don't touch", I didn't touch. Now if she wanted to put a device on me, that's fine. It was her pussy. Her decision. But she wouldn't have done it because she was worried that I wouldn't listen. She knew I would. She would have done it because she thought it was hot or she might do it just to annoy me.




No wonder we understand each other!

Here! Here!

_____________________________





(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Need help w/ putting small penis in chastity - 5/4/2010 4:31:30 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

We don't think it's "wrong" to want to use a chastity device, either---the point is, if a person does not TRY to obey, well... just how good are they as a submissive or servant?
quote:



Maybe their buzz comes more from her forcing than his obeying?

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com


(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Need help w/ putting small penis in chastity - 5/4/2010 4:34:52 PM   
thishereboi


Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline 		I can think of no finer company to be in, than you two loverly ladies

_____________________________

"Sweetie, you're wasting your gum" .. Albert


This here is the boi formerly known as orfunboi


(in reply to MistressOfGa)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Need help w/ putting small penis in chastity - 5/4/2010 4:35:26 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

We don't think it's "wrong" to want to use a chastity device, either---the point is, if a person does not TRY to obey, well... just how good are they as a submissive or servant?
quote:



Maybe their buzz comes more from her forcing than his obeying?



Yeah... see, Peon, that puts the whole thing into that "forced" Fem, "forced" bi arena. Who's in charge, if that is the case? If the parties involved are just "playing", well spiffy. As long as everyone gets their jollies, everything's fine. If the parties are trying to do a power exchange relationship? It all falls apart.

Maybe I'm just too much of a jarhead at heart, I dunno. To me, obey, or don't---those are the choices.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to PeonForHer)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Need help w/ putting small penis in chastity - 5/4/2010 4:55:00 PM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		Hello Ladies,

I would like to bring up another thing... There are at times actions that go beyond habit and are in fact addiction. Sometimes it is not about the will to obey, it is about the ability to obey.

I'm going to put this in a different context.

You have a submissive who has an eating disorder. You don't realize it is a *disorder*, neither does he. It just is what he does. You order him to not eat sweets. At some point during the day, he pops candy in his mouth and not until after does he realize what he's done. He's disobeyed, but he didn't realize or he couldn't stop himself. On some level he's just realizing what a huge problem it is. But hey, at least he became aware which is more than he was a week, a month, a year ago. You can tell him and tell him and tell him, but his issue is bigger than what can be handled by D/s alone. You wanting him to do better isn't going to fix it. You ordering him to stop won't fix it. It's more than all that.

There are two schools of thought ... Flooding and foot in the door. Flooding is having him (back to your example) touch and touch and touch until he's sick of touching... and the other, foot in the door, is stopping slowly, a little bit at a time. Of course support from other people, therapeutic, etc. is helpful.

According to the OP, this is the last thing to be an issue which could be an addiction. There are Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous groups for people that have this issue.

Just a thought.

Best,
sunshine

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Need help w/ putting small penis in chastity - 5/4/2010 5:04:21 PM   
petslave2b


Posts: 33
Joined: 4/4/2009
Status: offline 		There is some good advice with the PA and female devices.

"I never said it was wrong. I just don't understand the mindset of a sub who has to be "kept" from his dick. When my Mistress said "don't touch", I didn't touch."

The world is a very big, and diverse place. There are many ways of life which can be lots of fun, which also happen to be different to your way of life or what you may consider fun. I'm sure some people enjoy TAKING control, instead of having it given to them. For these people someone who struggles against the control and tries to escape or circumvent a chastity device is much more desirable than someone who simply obeys. And some subs might not be able to think of another person as dominant unless they take control, and enforce it.

(in reply to thishereboi)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Need help w/ putting small penis in chastity - 5/4/2010 6:12:00 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Yeah... see, Peon, that puts the whole thing into that "forced" Fem, "forced" bi arena. Who's in charge, if that is the case? If the parties involved are just "playing", well spiffy. As long as everyone gets their jollies, everything's fine. If the parties are trying to do a power exchange relationship? It all falls apart.

Maybe I'm just too much of a jarhead at heart, I dunno. To me, obey, or don't---those are the choices.


Nope - I don't follow your reasoning there, Lady Hib. If a copper tells me to pull over, I obey. If I don't obey and he forces me - he's still in charge, isn't he?

Except that this is BDSM - any 'forcing' isn't really forcing, because he's consented. At bottom, he *is* obeying, otherwise he'd stop her putting him in whatever restrictive gadget she wants to use in the first place. There's a a little element of force added, that's all. The bigger part of the whole thing is his initial consent to wear her gadget. Nice bit of spice, as far as I can see!



_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com


(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Need help w/ putting small penis in chastity - 5/4/2010 6:20:41 PM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

The point I am trying to make is that if he needs a chastity to behave and can't listen and obey me, then nothing else matters. If I need a chastity to enforce what I say, there is a bigger problem and it will overflow into other area's. Is it about a horny guy with cock in hand or dominance and submission and how the dynamic's actually get worked out? A man who places his cock's needs above me isn't worth my time. I'm just that way.

That right there.

If I say no and he does it anyway, that's not obedience.  Larger problem in My mind than finding the right sized chastity device.



Common sense, isn't it ;-)

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Need help w/ putting small penis in chastity - 5/4/2010 6:22:57 PM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GraciousLady

Best of luck Mistress LL! I hope you get that one to behave. Hopefully your work load will ease up soon and you have the time and energy to work on your wayward hubbys wandering hands.


All subs should be so lucky to have such a devout Domme ;-)

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to GraciousLady)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Need help w/ putting small penis in chastity - 5/4/2010 6:26:51 PM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

but his issue is bigger than what can be handled by D/s alone.


I agree with your post sunshine, and the part I just quoted is the most important part of it. D/s is not a substitute for therapy.

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to sunshinemiss)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Need help w/ putting small penis in chastity - 5/4/2010 6:27:11 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

The point I am trying to make is that if he needs a chastity to behave and can't listen and obey me, then nothing else matters. If I need a chastity to enforce what I say, there is a bigger problem and it will overflow into other area's. Is it about a horny guy with cock in hand or dominance and submission and how the dynamic's actually get worked out? A man who places his cock's needs above me isn't worth my time. I'm just that way.

That right there.

If I say no and he does it anyway, that's not obedience.  Larger problem in My mind than finding the right sized chastity device.



Common sense, isn't it ;-)

- LA


So was what I said, I thought - but LP's comment and mine appear to conflict!

So . . . how was mine wrong?

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com


(in reply to LadyAngelika)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Need help w/ putting small penis in chastity - 5/4/2010 7:01:10 PM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

So . . . how was mine wrong?


I don't think I would have used the word wrong to describe your opinion. It is your opinion.

I will however mention that, while what you write is correct about authority, I wouldn't want to be the police in my relationship any less than I would want to be a mother. I want to be a partner and a lover in the leader and dominant role. To me, this is fundamentally different.

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to PeonForHer)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Need help w/ putting small penis in chastity - 5/4/2010 7:01:40 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		While the gadget and I both can be fun, when I say hands off, it means hands off. If I have to enforce everything I say, at what point does it become too much? Do I say, please don't smoke in the house and come home to find he has and I need to punish him? Who's really in charge then? It seems to me that if someone isn't respecting our agreement of d/s and I am constantly having to react, punish, correct or otherwise deal with disobedience; he is in charge, not me. And there is no way in this lifetime that I am going to be obedient to a cock and it's will or someone who takes our d/s commitment for a game.

I leave the force for play time. Any other time and it is too much like parent and teenager. F that, I did my time.


_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


(in reply to PeonForHer)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Need help w/ putting small penis in chastity - 5/4/2010 7:16:09 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

I leave the force for play time. Any other time and it is too much like parent and teenager. F that, I did my time.



Well jeez, Lockit, chastity *is* playtime, isn't it? Just playtime extended over a long period. It certainly would be for me. One of my fave fantasies (which is why, no doubt, I wouldn't last long at it - heh).




_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com


(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Need help w/ putting small penis in chastity - 5/4/2010 7:29:53 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer


quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

I leave the force for play time. Any other time and it is too much like parent and teenager. F that, I did my time.



Well jeez, Lockit, chastity *is* playtime, isn't it? Just playtime extended over a long period. It certainly would be for me. One of my fave fantasies (which is why, no doubt, I wouldn't last long at it - heh).





LOL... in this situation, using chastity to keep his hands off, its not really play time. It is a corrective measure. Believe me, I have used chastity and it can be fun, but I also use times of no chastity devices for hands off. If I can't trust him to not play with himself and one can tell often times if he has or hasn't, then we are starting a break down that could have far reaching effects.


_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


(in reply to PeonForHer)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Need help w/ putting small penis in chastity - 5/4/2010 7:32:51 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

quote:

So . . . how was mine wrong?


I will however mention that, while what you write is correct about authority, I wouldn't want to be the police in my relationship any less than I would want to be a mother. I want to be a partner and a lover in the leader and dominant role. To me, this is fundamentally different.

- LA[/font]


But you wouldn't be much of a police officer, LA - because this is BDSM. Your partner in question would, as I've said, still be mostly obeying rather than being forced. Otherwise he wouldn't consent to that chastity device in the first place. It would be more a case of injecting a *bit* of that 'police officer' into the proceedings. In other words, I don't think this is 'fundamentally' different. I think it's just a *little* different.

I do think that force is a kink in its own right. Perhaps it has more to do with S&M than D/s. It must have something to do with one of those categories - because, otherwise, how else are we going to categorise it? Should dominants who are into adding some physical force go to another website? It doesn't make sense to me.

Pfft. All I know for sure is that chastity on the basis of pure obedience, and chastity on the basis of being forced - by means of a chastity device, say - are *somewhat* different things. The chastity device may take away something, but I think it'd add something else. If you're a purist - into a sub obeying, solely, no force involved: fine. But, hell, injecting some physical kind of force into it all also seems fine to me. I don't think the central principles of D/s are under any great threat here.







< Message edited by PeonForHer -- 5/4/2010 7:37:50 PM >

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com


(in reply to LadyAngelika)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Need help w/ putting small penis in chastity - 5/4/2010 7:36:14 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

LOL... in this situation, using chastity to keep his hands off, its not really play time. It is a corrective measure. Believe me, I have used chastity and it can be fun, but I also use times of no chastity devices for hands off. If I can't trust him to not play with himself and one can tell often times if he has or hasn't, then we are starting a break down that could have far reaching effects.



You'd use chastity as a *punishment*? Yippee - even more fun! You're really tapping into my psyche here, Lockit! But, OK, with someone like yourself I would try *very hard* not to see it as 'play time'. Whew - hot . . . .

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com


(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Need help w/ putting small penis in chastity - 5/4/2010 7:48:10 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		No... no, I don't use chastity as punishment. For mind games, teasing, torture and a few other things; yes. I find it doesn't work for correction because it doesn't take things where I want them to go and for the right reasons. It puts too much focus on things I would rather not focus on especially if I am not happy with him.

Sorry... lol


_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


(in reply to PeonForHer)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Need help w/ putting small penis in chastity - 5/4/2010 7:55:32 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline 		No worries, Lockit. Mind games, teasing and torture are all good, too.

Nah - I agree. It wouldn't work as a punishment or a corrective (Is there a difference? No matter), not on me. Of all the things I've heard about, chastity feels as though it's the thing most likely to send me into that land I call painful-joy-bliss. Device or otherwise, I might add.

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com


(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 40
Page:   <<   < prev  1 [2] 3   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> RE: Need help w/ putting small penis in chastity Page: <<   < prev  1 [2] 3   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.094